The Story of Us

Winter break is over, it's usually something I would dread because I won't be able to sleep in, watch TV read the "The Secret Circle" series I recently got into which is a change because I am mostly into vampire fiction. This time it's different though this time I couldn't wait for break to be over all I was thinking about was the moment I kissed Eli before break! I still couldn't wrap my mind around it one minute we were talking like old times and the next he tells me he is leaving for the holidays and I just grabbed him and planted my lips on his out of nowhere.

When he said he was willing to help me on the newspaper I was grateful that I still had a friend in him despite how harsh I was with him when he first asked me to hang out with him at lunch time. We still managed to have a good time together at Frostival he was the same guy I fell in love with. I loved the fact that we still had the same connection we had when we were together before, then when he asked me why I thought I would be a trigger for one of his bipolar episodes I just didn't know what to truth is I know he is doing great you can just see how much better he is doing when I said I don't want to be a trigger for him I don't know why that came out of my mouth when I don't really believe it myself.

I am just so confused with all these emotions and feelings I have towards him that I just stopped overthinking everything and just did what I felt like doing which was kiss Eli. Now here I am walking through the Degrassi doors anticipating the "Talk" we agreed to have when he got back from vacation. Simpson being the good understanding man he is let us wear regular clothes now I am very glad with that so I dressed up I don't why but I had this giddy urge to wear this black ruffled skirt that goes with this black belt with rhyme stones and a black tank top tucked in and I made sure my eyeliner made my blue eyes pop out. Oh god what is wrong with me? I just dressed up for Eli! I want to talk to him and work things out not seduce him what if he thinks that this is somehow like the time I dressed all rocker girl like, just to be rebellious and piss off my parents. Great thinking Clare now that will really set him off, Oh well too late now unless I somehow run back home and change. I turn around ready to make a break for my house then I hear.

"OOOOOOOhhhhhhhh Clare coming all dressed up back from winter break who are you trying to impress" Alli she would say that.

Well at least it's nice to see that she's still my best friend I rolled my eyes at her "What? Can't I take advantage of the fact that I can wear whatever I want?" I defended.

"Sure Clare whatever you say" Alli had that sly knowing look on her face and I just glared at her and she smirked at me. Seeing her do that made me think of the same guy I have been thinking about all break.

"Alli I have to tell you something that happened at Frostival" I said seriously.

"What you finally realized you never got over Eli and professed your undying love for him" she said joking but at the same time I could hear that she knows something.

"Why would you say that?" I asked cautiously wanting to see what she thinks.

"Oh come on Clare you and Eli are bound to get back together eventually I wouldn't be surprised if you two couldn't resist yourselves and he took your innocence away that night" She said in a loves truck dramatic tone. Well that's an interesting idea does she really think we are for sure meant to be?

"I kissed Eli" I said and looked at her expecting a scream but got none she just looked smug and she smiled at me.

"I knew it so you guys are back together! Great you guys can double date with me and Dave it's going to be great." Wow she's optimistic a double date doesn't sound like such a bad idea.

"No Alli were not back together, I don't know we were talking he was about to leave and there was something in me that just made me want to kiss him" I had this familiar warm fuzzy feeling in the pit of my stomach the same feeling I had when I first met him.

"Clare you got just as bad as you did last time maybe even worse just tell me when you get back together with him and we will talk about the double date later. Trust me Clare you guys are like made for each other" She told me seriously.

I always loved the idea of being in a relationship with someone I am meant to be with, idiotically I actually thought that guy could be Jake and I even took the chance in losing my virginity to him I was stupid to think it would work out.

When I was with Eli I was always so sure about us I knew that being with him meant having someone there for me someone that actually liked me for who I am and is interested in the same things I am. Eli was a great boyfriend probably the best one I ever had, so why did I feel like it was too much for me why did I have that annoying suffocating feeling when I was with him? All he ever did was try to make me happy and I was happy. What the hell was I thinking? Now that I think about it there is no good reason for breaking up with him. Sure he has his problems but who doesn't he loved me, cared about me was that such a crime? Well I feel like crap now.

I really do miss him and I am thinking back to what he asked me that time we were hanging out at lunch.

"Do you think we could ever pick up where we left off?"

I know the answer to that question and I have known it all along and I was just to dam stupid and scared to even say it. I want to be with Eli again I still love him, I miss him, I need him, I want him back and nothing and no one is going to take him away from me. My phone vibrated signaling I got a text.

Eli: "So when can we talk?"

I texted back immediately exited with a smile on my face the urge to see him and kiss him again eating away at me.

Me: "At lunch time the same place as last time don't you dare be late ;)"

Make that winky face let him know that I'm done with all the awkwardness and weirdness, I'm just going to leave my feelings all out in the open now.