AN: This story is dedicated to my friend Nor. She just had to ask me the random question that inspired this…: "Does Sasori rape people to death, and then rape their dead bodies, and then rape the puppets?" Here's the inside scoop of what Sasori really does with his puppets, but it kind of strays away from the question a bit. WARNING: this may get really awkward and possibly creepy. Rated "T" for teens for swearing (even though its bleeped out) and mild sexuality... with puppets... Words in italics are thoughts just in case you wonder while you're reading this. And pleas no flames, because this is my first story. If the rating is wrong then let me know in a comment or PM me. I also apologize if people are OOC...

Disclaimer: I don't own any part of Naruto or any of its characters. This was made purely for enjoyment of the readers.

What Sasori Really Does With His Puppets…

It was an unusually quiet and calm day at the Akatsuki hideout.

"Hey cheap-ss, why don't you go and buy us some f*cking real food for once!" bellowed Hidan, as he stuck his head out of his room. "And while you're at it, why not buy me some things I need to perform a ritual! And everybody else be quiet I'm trying to f*cking pray to Jashin!"

"Will you just shut up for once?" yelled back Kakazu. "First of all, I need that money so that I can pay for everything in this house! The electricity, gas, water, you name it and I'm the one paying for it! So no, I will not waste my time and money on some food when we already have some or some stupid items for a ritual that YOU perform for some god that doesn't even exist! And you're the only one yelling and that isn't making it any quieter— OMG it's a penny on the floor!" Kakazu exclaimed as he bent over and picked it up, walking away to put it in a safe place afterwards.

"My point exactly: that guy is one cheap son-of-a-B*tch…" Hidan stated as he turned back towards his room.

Meanwhile in Sasori's bedroom:

"Oh yeah, I'm gonna get paid big bucks from that old pervert down the street if I give this to him" Sasori chimed with a big smirk on his face and a video camera on a stand right next to him. I'm so glad that everybody else is out besides those two. They are too loud and too busy ignoring each other for them to hear this racket, he thought to himself.

Sasori sat upon a beam that was connected to the sides of the walls in his room. His red hair was messy and he looked as if he had stayed up the whole night. There were blue chakra strings at the ends of each of his fingers. At the end of the strings were two puppets. The first was the puppet that surprisingly looked almost identical to his deceased mother. The second one was a puppet that resembled his partner, Deidara.

I wonder what Dei-Dei would think if he saw his puppetcounterpart… But then again he'll tell Pein, and everybody will think I'm a creep. Then if I tell them that I made puppets of all of them, they might kick me out of the team for being a big sicko…, Sasori couldn't help but think. Oh well, it's not like they'll find out.

He made the puppets grind up against each other. They wore no clothes at all besides undergarments. The mother puppet would grope onto puppet Deidara and Sasori would make moaning sound affects for both of them. Dedara's puppet self wasn't being that innocent either. In fact he was being just as—if not more—disturbing towards the female. He would even at times pull the undies off of it, but in response she would pull them back on.

"This is amazing, I'm gonna be rich and famous around the neighborhood for my video!" Sasori screamed, not really realizing how loud he was being.

The Living room:

"Well you guys took forever, I can't believe you left me with THIS GUY!" said Kakazu, pointing a finger at Hidan as he said the last part. "I don't mind Sasori at all, because he mostly keeps to himself since he doesn't eat or go to the bathroom being a puppet and all."

"Where is Sasori-Danna, un? Is he in his room?" asked the real and not puppet Deidara.

"He's in his f*cking room as always, dumbss," Hidan smirked as he retorted a reply to a question that he found plainly ridiculous since the answer was always the same.

"Everybody quiet, I hear something… It's… laughter… from Sasori?" Pein butted in. And sure enough they all heard it.

"I'll go check up on Danna un…" Deidara spoke up.

"Ok, but tell us what he's doing when you come back," all the others had jumped in on the conversation.

"Hey Danna, what's going on in here…? WTF is that puppet supposed to look like me? And what in the world are you making them do, un?" exclaimed a surprised and horrified Deidara.

"Oh… um… I well—er no this was made WAY before I met you... and… er—um I wasn't doing anything at all…" Sasori stuttered and stammered, inwardly cursing to himself about how he didn't lock the door.

"Sure you weren't… well, un, I'm just gonna go to leader Pein and tell him that he should find a psychologist or two sometime soon…"

"No, wait, don't tell him anything!" pleaded Sasori as he tried to stand up. He had forgotten that there was no floor under him and fell flat on his back. "O-ouch, Deidara p-please come back."

CRAP! Just when I start to get a little bit louder, I get caught by the last person that I would want to see me do this… I need to dispose of all the other puppets of them before the others see them…

So Sasori was able to burn them to ashes using an old salamander based puppet of his. Soon after that he fell asleep on his bed. His butt was saved from the rest of the organization… or so he thought. He hadn't realized that the camera had still been rolling, and it caught him burning the puppets all on tape.

A few minutes later Hidan had walked into Sasori's room and saw the camera. "Now that's where it's been. I've needed to record all the d*mn stupid and cheap things that Kakazu does." He got onto the beam and saw that it was rolling. "Hmm, it's recording… Why the f*ck would Sasori need to get something on tape? Let's see then…" the puzzled assassin said as he went to his own room.

"HOLY MOTHER OF JASHIN! Why the f*ck was Sasori doing that? It's always the quiet ones…" Hidan screeched after watching the whole thing. "This f*ucking sh*t has got to go on the d*mn internet! That's it I'm making a YouTube account!"

Epilogue

Well first of all, Hidan's video was the top rated, favorited, and most commented on YouTube for five months. Secondly, Sasori was known around the hidden villages as not 'Sasori of the Red Sand' anymore, but as 'Sasori, Master of Puppet Sex' for what felt like years, but was only eight months. And last but certainly not least, the whole Akatsuki gang went into group therapy together, but Sasori also had to go to his own psychologist three times a week for six months. The rest after that is another story to tell…

AN: Again, I apologize if they are OOC. I also apologize if there are any grammatical or spelling issues in here. This is my first fic, so please, no flames. I'll happily take constructive criticism to make my writing better though. I hope you guys enjoyed it. review if you want to or if you want me to try to think of another Akatsuki fic. ^_^