This is the story of Super Paper Marion!
...And then the 'Super' falls off.
Authorette's Note: I don't own Super Paper Mario. Or a copy of it, either. The real storyline belongs to Nintendo, and a real copy is usually at a store for fifty dollars. Just saying. Now let's start!
-cough-
Ahem! Today, I will tell you a really, really old story thing. A long time ago, there was this... Hey! You! Are you even listening?! Yeah, you! With the clicking and the reading and the... Oh, whatever. Anyway, there was this really old book thing. And it told the future. And because there was only one, everyone wanted it for themselves. But, one person thought it was a boomerang, so they threw it out the window. It just happened to land in someone else's suitcase that got locked in a treasure chest that was sealed away and possibly thrown to the bottom of the ocean that is now dried up.
This is the strange tale of that book's last owner...
A tale of (immediate un-) true love...
Prologue: (Everything has a name. Oh no.) Er... Prologue. I'm feeling uncreative for names right now.
Voice: Blah hah hah hah hah hah... It's nice to see that you're awake, Princess!
Nectarine: Huh...what...? -blinks open eyes- -jumps- What in the Plantation Kingdom is going on?!
Bopper: Oh, come on! Nectarine, it's finally happening! Look!
He throws up his arms and turns around. Hundreds of weird-looking things cheer.
Random Minion: I heard that she came right up to him about it!
Random Minion: Reeeeally?
Nectarine: NOOOOOo! We adopted children?! But I was to never...!!
Bopper: -turns around- No! We're-
Natasha: So, um, yeah, preparations are completed and stuff...
Count Black: Excellent, Natasha. Then it should be begun. ...By Count Black. BOPPER, KING OF THE KAPPAS!!
Bopper: Yeah!!
Count Black: COUGH HACK WHEEZE!! Sorry. Do you, King Bopper, take Princess Nectarine to be your lovely wife...
Natasha scowls at Count Black and taps her wristwatch.
Count Black: Er... yada yada yada and look just say yes already?
Bopper: Why ask me? YESSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS-
Natasha: Enough! We get it, yes!
Bopper: Aw, man... I wasn't finished cheering yet.
Count Black: Good. -turns- Princess Nectarine, I know you love this, er, creature dearly, so just proclaim your love already.
Nectarine: No! I don't love Bopper at all! And who picked out this earrings?! I know I didn't. They're horrible! Where'd you get them, the dollar store?!
Count Black: (Grr... Actually, I got them from Small Mart for 15...) Er... Count Black was not counting on this. Natasha! Um, what do we do?!
Natasha sneezes, and noisy red ring things appear around Nectarine. Natasha tilts her head for a second.
Natasha: Hmm... Okay, um, so I need you to say I do, K?
Nectarine: Nuh...no...
Natasha: No one ever completely resists Natasha's Super-Ultra-Annoyingly-Long-Name-I-Don't-Know-How-This-Happened Hypnosis Procedure!
Nectarine: Pickle...
Bopper: Er, Nectarine? What are you doing?
Nectarine: Zzz...
Count Black: Count Black does not have all day.
Nectarine: Culex...
Natasha: Aaaagh! She's totally messing with my schedule! By now, we should be laughing around the Chaos Part!!
Count Black: How did you suppose that?
Natasha: -rolls eyes- I can see the future.
Nectarine: I dok...?
Natasha: Arrrgh!!
She then gathers up her strength and zaps Nectarine again.
Nectarine: Ouch!!
She falls forward onto her face, and lifts up her head.
Nectarine: I... I don't...
She falls back down.
Nothing happens. Everyone just waits for somebody to do something. Bopper scoffs his shiny black shoes all over the floor.
Natasha: Well, you see, since she put emphasis on the 'I do' in 'I don't', that technically is an 'I do.' So-
Something shines a brilliant light from the stack of worn books presumed to be the altar, and is revealed to be-
Count Black: The Chaos Part!! Goodie!!
Exactly what was going to be said. Except for 'goodie'.
Louigi then wakes up. He sees Nectarine, and Bopper, and TOTALLY FREAKS OUT!
Louigi: Hey! You may not kiss the bride!!
He jumps incredibly high and lands on the Chaos Part.
Louigi: Huh. That's not where I was going to land... Yuh-oh.
A sudden blast of air leaves Louigi unconscious on the floor by Nectarine. Bopper is left doing a gotta-go-dance.
Count Black and Natasha appear high in the sky.
Natasha: Are you all right, Count?
Count Black: No, Count Black had a traumatizing experience where he said "Goodie." Yes, Count Black is fine!! Now, instead of wasting time messing with your schedule...-spreads arms wide- Come forth, darkness, and open your mouth! Release The Null from deep within your powers, so that Creamy the Rabbit will never see daylight again!!
Natasha: Was that last part really necessary?
Count Black: No, I added that part for drama. ...Oddly stated Count Black.
And so they just kinda stand there for a good 10 minutes.
Natasha: I'm not waiting all day for this, you kn-
A brilliant flash flashes, knocking Natasha's glasses off...
Natasha: Help! I can't see!!
The Null suddenly appears.
Count Black: Blah hah hah hah hah hah hah!! Black!!
...causing her to walk directly into The Null.
Count Black: Er...Yuh-oh.
In Marion's House...
Louigi just wakes up. He walks over in his pajamas to Marion, who is drinking...er...apple juice.
Louigi: Marion? I had this weird dream.
Marion: Must've been pretty long.
Louigi: It was-
Marion: It's already 11AM.
Louigi: I KNOW!! Anyway, there was this wedding. Nectarine was there.
Marion: And was someone saying 'You may now kiss-'?
Louigi: Keep your dreams to yourself, man!! No. Anyway, so was Bopper and this weird guy. He had an issue.
Marion: Of Warp Pipe Weekly?
Louigi: No! He kept on saying 'Count Black'. I think that was his name.
Marion: ...So you're done now? Good. I think that we should go see Nectarine, then. Tell about Prophet Louigi's dream.
Louigi: ...You're just trying to get on my nerves, aren't you? Anyway, I wish something cool would happen. Something like Flying Marion.
Marion: Hmm...
Flashback!!
Marion is stuffed into a catapult. Louigi gets ready to jump on the switch that flings the arm.
Marion: Are you sure this'll send me fast enough to talk to Nectarine's parents before they mysteriously disappear?
Louigi: Er...yeah. That. That's what little brothers do, right? Help their big brother's dreams come true. Now go!
Louigi stomps on the switch, and Marion is fired so fast that he looks like a comet.
Marion: Heeeeeeelp!!
Marion is just about to land in the dirt face-first-
Flashback over!!
Marion: I didn't like that.
Louigi: Whatever. Let's-a go!
Marion: That's my line...
Louigi: Can't I use it every once in a while?
Marion: ...
They walk outside. Just as they are about to turn the corner, they bump into a frantic toad.
Marion: Ow!
Frantic Toad: Ack!!
Louigi: Toad, why are you so frantic?
Frantic Toad: You made me lose my precious HP!!
Louigi: Erm...before that?
Frantic Toad: It's sh-sh-sh-shocking!! The Treasure Room, raided!! The Crystal Star, stolen!!
Marion: Huh?
Frantic Toad: Oops.
He flips though something that looks like a script.
Frantic Toad: -- Oh, yeah. Nectarine was kidnapped. Again. And I'm wearing a hat.
Louigi: Oh! I know! It's that bad guy! Yeah!
Marion: You mean the one you just dreamed about?
Louigi: It was just a dream. Who cares? No, I mean Bopper. We gotta go to his castle!
At Bopper's Castle...
Bopper: And then I dreamed that she said, "I do!!"
Minions: Yeaaaaaaah!!
Random: We need a queen!
Random: What does she do?!
Bopper: Then I'll just switch plans and pull off Plan P!
Random: Huh? What's Plan P?
Bopper: Proposal! Instead of taking her and making a bad impression on her mysterious disappearing parents, I'll just go up to her and pop the question!
Random: Ew. His dreams are worse than yours.
Bopper: Who said that?! Hey, wait a sec, I'm the only guy with hair around here!
He jumps onto the ground. All the minions move, and Marion and Louigi are seen.
Bopper: How did you get past my security system? Any mustache over Level 5 is subjected to rejection!
Louigi: It was off...?
Minion With Level 6 'Stache: Erm, sorry. It wouldn't let me in...
Bopper: No! It wasn't supposed to be this easy!! It took you the whole game in Paper Marion: The First to get here!!
Marion: Hmm?
Louigi: -shrugs shoulders- -turns- Quiet, you really big and obnoxious Bopper! We know that you have Nectarine!!
Bopper: HOW DO YOU KNOW?! No, now everyone knows that I have the Nectarine doll, poster, comic (Nectarine Girl, yay!), McGold's toy, and videogame Super Princess Nectarine!!
Marion: That's not what he was insinuating. But now that I know... --
Louigi: So you do have her!! Where are you keeping her?!
Bopper: In my collective Comic and Toy Vault, but I... WAIT A SECOND?! DOESN'T ANYBODY GET THAT I HAVEN'T KIDNAPPED HER YET?!
Everybody: ...
Marion: So where is she-
Nectarine: -voice only- MARION!! HEEEEEEEEEEEELP!!
Nectarine appears in an interdimensional net thingy. And this net gets magically shoved over, while Count Black appears.
Louigi: Hey! It's that guy! From my dream!!
Count Black: Blah hah hah hah... Your princess has been kidnapped, by none other than Count Black!
Louigi: It's you! From my dream!
Count Black: Hmmm? Count Black does not remember seeing you before. Except in The Dark Prognosticative Book! I mean, er... internet?
Bopper: Hey... you're from my dream too. I think. Weren't you the one who let me propose to Nectarine?
Nectarine: Eww... (That's what I dreamed about... I think.)
Count Black: Er... yes. About that. Count Black has-
Bowser: I know someone that we can stop talking about!
Count Black: Yes? I mean, er, yes? ...Questioned Count Black.
Bowser: Count Black!! Look, can we go to the wedding that I dreamed about already? I can't wait!
Count Black: Yes, Count Black will take you, King of the Kappas, and you, Princess of the Plantation Kingdom. And-
Marion: No!
He jumps on Count Black's head... I mean, protection barrier net thingy. Whatever it's called.
Count Black: I feel the strangest sensation... Ah...ahh... aahhh... CHOOO!!
As he (somehow) sneezes, he ends up pointing his wand, er cane, er, scepter at Marion.
Scepter: (I am angered by your choice of words...)
Yuh-oh. I shouldn't get a scepter of darkness angry at me.
It opens the Super-Mini-Null and Marion is pulled near it.
Marion: Eeeeek!
He flails around near the Super-Mini-Null and falls to the ground. It disappears.
Louigi: No! Marion!!
Count Black: -puts hand on chin- Hmm. (That was weird...) This Marion deserves a ridiculous...something. -turns- And now...
He mumbles something. Possibly even the word 'something', but no one was listening.
Bopper: Yuh-oh.
Count Black: Blah hah hah hah hah hah BLACK!!
He opens his cape and points the scepter at the air so fast that it goes flying, poor little stick.
Scepter: (Grr... Now, witness my true power...)
It opens the Mini-Null, which is pretty big to be Mini, and spins like nuts.
All Except Count Black and Scepter: AAAAAHHH!
They get sucked into the Mini-Null...
Something: Error! Program mini-null.jpg has overloaded, and will now close.
... And it closes.
Count Black grabs his scepter, closes his cape, and laughs as he flips away.
Possibly Hours later...
Voice: ...arion...Marion...Marion...!
Marion opens his eyes and jumps up.
Marion: (Who are you?! What do you want?!) But all he can muster to say is Hmm?-
-Marion hit his head pretty hard falling onto the ground like that. So all he can really say is Hmm.
Butterfly That is Dangerously Sharp: I came to find you...
Marion: Hmm!! -poses to fight- (Why?! To fight me?!)
Butterfly That is Dangerously Sharp: I am no enemy...
Marion: Hmm... (Well, you know, you look reaaaally sharp. I'm paper, remember?! And besides. Something that sharp looking for people gives you this air of-)
Butterfly That is Dangerously Sharp: Are you done yet...?!
Marion: Hmm? (You can here me? Cool! Then you know what? I think that you're going to do something to me like scissors!!)
Butterfly That is Dangerously Sharp: You misspelled 'hear'. And no. Even if I could, I wouldn't. Anyway, back to my prepared speech. I am Tipper, a kind of Pixel. I come to bring you to Fleepside to see the great wizard Merlin.
Marion: Hmm...? (Why? Why in Flit must I go with a Butterfly of Sharp and Pointy Death to this Fleepside?)
Tipper: I heard that... Anyway, if you don't come, I'll make you meet Best Ovius from T.P.'s parody of MPS...
Marion: Hmm? (Who's that?)
Tipper: You don't want to know... Anyway, come with me...
A square appears around Marion.
Marion: Hmm?! (Hey! What are you doing, Tipper?!)
Tipper: Let us go...
The square flips.
In Fleepside...
Merlin: She said it would only take ten minutes. It's 10 minutes and 6 seconds!!
Tipper and Marion appear. Marion falls onto the ground. Tipper, however, remains flying.
Marion: Ow!
Tipper: Merlin! Is this the great Hero that you requested?
Merlin: No, I requested Eggys from Room Service, and they haven't given them to me, yet. Yes, that is the great hero that I requested!!
Tipper: That's good... I think he received some pretty serious head damage, for all I can hear from him is his thoughts... And 'Hmm'...
Merlin: Whatever. Anyway, the answer is... look, just look in the sky, already, okay?
A blue, flashing cloud is seen.
Marion: Oh! (Hey! I bet if the sky was blue here, you couldn't see it!! Hee hee!!)
Tipper: He says that you can't see it in his world.
Merlin: And that is the problem. Your world allows this... what was it?
Tipper: -sighs- The Null...
Merlin: Ah! Yes! The Null. Your world allows this Null to be cloaked in your world.
Tipper: Correction: "Your world allows this Null to be cloaked there."... Or, "Your sky allows this Null to be cloaked there."...
Merlin: Stop it with the corecting!!
Tipper: Correcting...
Merlin: Whatever. So, Marion, will you take the Pure Part and save the worlds? Or will you reject it, leaving our worlds to...
Marion: Hmm! (No way! Why do I have to do this?! I reject it!!)
Tipper: He said yes... He will accept the Pure Part...
Marion: (Grr!! You stupid butterfly!! At least let me know why!!)
Tipper: A purely cheer-hearted princess... A furious King Stompy... The union of these two shall create the Chaos Part, the embodiment of tainted love...
Marion: -asleep- ...
Merlin sneaks the Pure Part into Marion's pocket.
Merlin: Hopefully he won't wash his clothes within the next two minutes.
Tipper: I'd doubt it...
Merlin: Anyway... -pushes Marion off of Fleepside Power- There.
Tipper: Oh... Great...
Marion flutters towards the ground. He loses all his HP and...
OH NO! GAME OVER!! But it's only Chapter 1!
But wait, what's this?!
Marion wakes up. Queen Maybes is standing beside him.
Marion: -- (Great. I made it to the Underthere.)
Queen Maybes: Let me guess, you're going to beg me to go to the Overwhere? Well, Maybe!
Marion: 0.0 OH!! (You have spinach in your teeth, ahhhh!)
Queen Maybes: Oh. You're the GREAT HERO, aren't you? No fair! I have to send you back because this annoying little kid won't stop killing you and putting "Try From Last Save"!!
Marion: -- (Aren't you supposed to be in a future chapte-)
Queen Maybes: -turns to face you- STOP IT, ANDREW MCMERFINHEIMELGERANGER!! -turns back to Marion- Those who harmed you shall be punished, not naming any names, Merlin... But, anyway, CONTINUE!!
Marion is warped back to Fleepside, and wakes up as he's falling. He lands on the Pure Part Pill Capsule, and Tipper flies down.
Tipper: Marion, are you all right?
Marion: Hmm... -- (Yeah. Sure. I just fell fifty feet. I'm all right.)
Tipper: Well, just push up on your Wi-Mote to place it in...
Marion: Hmmm? -holds out hand-
Tipper: Oh. Yes. A strange being that reviews our very words called "The Reader" knows what I speak of.-
Marion: Hmm?! -scratches head, er, hat-
-Here's where you come in!! Yay! All you have to do is point at your at your computer or laptop with your Wi-mote and push .
Yuh-oh. You don't own a Wi, don't you? Well, join the club!! I don't have one either! Oh. Yeah. You can't get any farther in the story without a Wi-mote. Sorry. I haven't contacted the webmaster on how to fix that. So there's no more Super Paper Marion. : (
Wait! I own a Wi-mote already!
Hold on, don't be sad! I just bought a Wi-mote!
I'm not buying no stinkin' Wi-Mote.
None of these are actual links, are they?
Here is how to keep an idiot busy. Click here.
Hey! You're breaking the rules! You can't have things based off of what I choose and-
Tipper: Erm, nevermind. I'll just take this and put it in...
Weird Dorky Kid: Hey! ZOMG!! IT'S TEH MARION!! -rips Marion's pocket from his clothes- Ha ha! I'm going to run into this red door that already happens to be and ironically is located on Fleepside Power!! -runs off-
Tipper: --
Marion: Hmm...! (To the top of Fleepside...oh, whatever.)
On top of Fleepside Power...
Merlin is asleep on his side.
Tipper: Wake up!! A kid ran off with Marion's pocket!! And he ran into that red door that only appears when the Pure Part is placed, but it hasn't!!
Merlin: Yada... Return Pipe...Zap Tap...yada...
Tipper: I guess we should go into the door that shouldn't even be there...
They walk into it.
Chapter 1
Chapter 1-1: Hey...they just took this from Marion Brothers... Stupid Uncreative Designers!! ...Oh.
Marion and Tipper appear in a grassy, happy land.
Weird Dorky Kid: Ha ha! I'm going to sell this on E-Buy!! Can't catch me!! -runs off-
Tipper: Already, I don't like him...
Marion: Hmm. (Whatever. I bet he'll run off to the right as far as he can go.)
Tipper: Sure...
Suddenly, three Toads are seen walking down the path, arm in arm. The first has a red hat, the middle has an orange one, and the third wears a yellow hat.
The Traveling Toad Sisters Three: Oh how happy we are, so happy and true! We don't know how we match our words, so if you ask... hard is how we'll kick you!! : )
Marion: Hmm! -shoves over TTTST- (Outta my way, dorks!!)
Tipper: He said, "Outta my way-" ... Nevermind...
The Traveling Toad Sister One: Whatever.
The Traveling Toad Sister Two: I can't wait to see him...
The Traveling Toad Sister Three: Grr. Evil is how he shall play, and evil is what he shall get. I mean...tee-hee!!
Marion: Hmm. (So how far right do you think he'll go?)
Tipper: Er...right there? -points to sleeping Weird Dorky Kid-
Marion: HMM!! (My pocket!! MIIIIIINE!!)
The Weird Dorky Kid snaps awake and runs into a house.
Marion: Oh...
Inside the house...
It's an empty room.
Tipper: Hmm... This house is not truly empty. I sense something is here...
Voice of Weird Dorky Kid: So, do you have a computer?
Marion: Hmm... -- (Oh yeah, Tipper. So do I.)
Tipper: Well? All you have to do is point the Wi-Mote at the screen... Oh...
Marion: Hmm!!
He chucks Tipper at the wall.
Tipper: Ow!!
Some of Tipper's magic rubs off onto the door, making it visible.
Marion: Hmm! (Yay! One of my stupid plans worked!!)
Then the door disappears, seeing as this magic disappears as Tipper flutters. It's not a problem, however, seeing as Weird Dorky Kid is slammed through the wall.
Best Stove Is: And what makes you think that you have the audio and city to address my morning glory?!
Weird Dorky Kid: Fine...Marion...take your stupid Super Happy Tree...er...pocket...
He falls asleep.
Marion: Hmm! (Yay! My pocket!)
Tipper: Good... Because that pocket contains...
The Pure Part!! Yayness!
Marion: Hmm...?
Tipper: But the problem is that, that is the first Pure Part. You are supposed to get the Second Pure Part in Chapter 1.
Marion: -- (Whatever.)
Best Stove Is: Yes, little flower, you'll be... Wait! Err... is there anything that I can help you with?
Tipper: Oh. You're Merlin's (odd) cousin, aren't you...? He said that you need to teach Marion to flip.
Best Stove Is: But that shall cost you 10,000,000 coins!
Marion and Tipper: 0.0
Tipper: We don't have that kind of money...!
A brick that was tottering on the edge of the wall from being dislodged by Weird Dorky Kid being thrown through the wall then falls directly on Best Stove Is's head.
Best Stove Is: Yoowwgh!! -shakes head- Okay. Marion, to flip, you just need to stress out pretty good, okay?
Tipper: -- That's not what I mean... I mean into 3-D.
Best Stove Is: Oh. Sorry! Can't help you with that!
Tipper pulls 3 coins out of Marion's pocket (that has been somehow magically re-sewed).
Best Stove Is: Oooh! Shiny! -snatches coins- Um...just go out in back, okay?
Tipper: He can't until you teach him to flip!!
Best Stove Is: Outside then! My gosh! Can't you people be satisfied with my advice?!
Marion: Oh. (No. This is the guy that just said "Shiny!".)
Tipper: Erm...thank you, Best Stove Is...
Outside...
Marion: Hmm... (I'm mad. All I can say is Hmm. Why?! I want to scream!)
Then all of a sudden, a flying upside down triangle appears. And starts talking.
Upside Down Triangle: Hi! I'm Thin the Pixel! I've come to help you!
Tipper: Aren't you supposed to be in a future Chapter?
Thin: Erm...let's just say, I found another way...
Flashback!!
Thin the Pixel is trapped in a box or something. Something lands on the box and breaks it. Thin flies out.
Voice: AAAAAAGH!! I HATE THAT TIME MACHINE!!
Thin: Ooh!! Neato! -sits in driver's seat- Hey! There's a sign...
Sign: Marion's Time Machine. Please leave parked in current time.
Thin: Whatever. Let's go to the past!!
Isn't that a flashback?
Thin: Umm... Cheesecake!!
Flashback over!
Tipper: Won't that screw up the time-space continuum...?
Marion: Hmm...? (What can you do? Can you here me too?)
Thin: I can flip. Both ways! To 1-D and 3-D!! And you misspelled 'hear'.
Marion: --
Tipper: Hit that weird looking block over there.
Marion: Hmm. (Why are you upside down?)
Thin: Everyone always said I had an inverted personality...? (What does that mean, anyway?)
Tipper: -- -hits block-
End of Chapter!!
Chapter 1-2: Old Towns suck. Er...Lollipops.
Mario: (Yeah! Now onto Chapter 2 already? That was easy!)
Tipper: No. Just 1-2.
Marion then walks right into a portal, and it warps him to Redi's house. However, Redi is not there.
Marion: Hmm? (Who's Redi?)
Thin: I am!!
Marion: Hmm..? (You live hear?)
Thin: This time, it's HERE!! And no. I thought you were asking if I'm ready.
Marion: --
Redi: -voice only- Waaaaaaaaaa!! Help!
Marion: Hmm?
Redi: Flip!
Marion: Hmm? (Thin...? Er, does it hurt?)
Thin: No. No pain!
He flips them to 3-D. Redi is sitting on the bed, and the floor is sopped.
Marion: OW!! (Oh, the pain!! The horrible pain! And the longer I sit here, or hear, the more it hurts! You mean Pixel!!)
Thin: No pain...for me!! You..er...didn't ask...
Redi: Now flip back!
Thin: Okay! -flips back... to 1-D-
Redi: This is worse... help!!
Marion: Hmm!! (Thin!! What are you doing?! Flip to 2-D!!)
Thin: I'm working on it!
Marion: Hmm...? (So, uh, Redi. How did you get here?)
Tipper: Redi, Marion wants to know how you got here.
Redi: Why can't he ask?
Marion: Hmm... -- (Look, when you hit your papery head on the hard floor, you're bound to get something bad.)
Tipper: Severe head damage makes him only say 'Hmm'.
Redi: I flipped. I was totally stressing about something.
Tipper: -- (So Best Stove Is is right...)
Thin: Ha! -flips...to 3-D-
Tipper: Oh, no. Thin, you can ONLY flip to 1-D and 3-D?! Here. This is an emergency...
She flutters high over Thin, scattering that magic Pixel dust in the air around him.
Thin: I...can't...breathe!! -flips to 2-D- Ah...much better.
Redi: Thank you! Here, I'll make you a special commemorative architechtial wonder, but first...what color is better, red or green?
Marion: Hmm! (Ooh! Red! Red! Make it red!!)
Tipper: He said green.
Marion: -- (Stupid Pixel.)
Redi: Green? GREEEEEEN?! HOW DARE YOU PLACE MORE INTEREST ON MY BROTHER, GREEM?! YOU MUST PAY!!
He kicks Marion out of his house.
Outside, Old Town...
Marion hits the dirt, face first. He loses one HP, not like anybody's counting.
Marion: Hmm... -- (Stupid Louigi got his stupid wish).
Watchmii: Watch Me, you weirdo! -performs cartwheel- I'm the Mayor of Old Town. Do you need to pass through onto the Old Desert?
Marion: Hmm! (Yes! I need to go there. Or their. I think.)
Tipper: Uh...sure...?
Watchmii: All right. Then I'll call up Greem. -on phone- Yes, Greem. Someone has to pass through. Not to the Overwhere, you weirdo! What's that? Yes. I'll tell him about the cat litter. -hangs up-
Thin: Oh! Cat litter sounds good!
Hoswit: Yoooooooou think cat litter is goooooooooooood? Then yooooooou're insane!
Watchmii: Watch me, you weirdos!! Anyway, Greem says that you need a Pixel that's not a butterfly and you have to be able to flip. Do you meet that?!
Marion: Yeah! (Thin fits both.)
Watchmii: Then go to Greem's!
At Greem's...
Greem: So. You want a bridge? And have a Pixel that is not a butterfly and can flip? Okay. I'll let you pass after you tell me this: What is my favorite color: Green or red?
Marion: Hmm! (Probably Green for you! Er...red! Yeah! I mean red!)
Tipper: He said Red.
Marion: -- (NOW she listens to me?!)
Greem: HOW COULD YOU PAY MORE ATTENTION TO MY BROTHER, REDI?! DIE!!
He kicks Marion out.
Outside, very near to the Old Desert...
Marion: -lands in sandy dirt face-first- (Stupid Pixel.)
Tipper: I'll just hit this weird block. And Marion, I know I'm smart. Stop telling me already.
Marion: --
Tipper hits the weird block.
Chapter 1-3: Old Desert. It's...old. Zzzzzz...
Marion: (So why are we hear?)
Tipper: -sigh- HERE... Anyway, it's because the Pure Part is rumored to be around here.
Marion: (How did you suppose that?)
Tipper: Er...internet?
Thin: Ooh! I love reading those internet gossip sites! I recently heard that Pinsely Mohawk (or was it Mohan?) was going to ja-
Tipper: That's not what I meant, Thin.
Thin: Oh... : (
A strange person made of Kego Blocks then walks up to the group.
O' Blocks: Have yous seens teh heroes?
Tipper: No...?
O' Blocks: Then let meh do meh own blockin'!!
He walks, er, stomps, off.
Tipper: -- Whatever...
Thin: I wonder how we get there?
Tipper: I have this feeling like we forgot something...
In Old Town...
Throwmii: I'm bored, Thoreau. Want to play hangman again? This time I'll hold the rope...
Thoreau, who is an invisible make-believe friend brought up by hysteria, shakes his head very hard.
Throwmii: Aww... I wonder when those heroes are coming.
In Old Desert...
Tipper: Who cares? It's just a feeling. Let's keep going.
They then see a red tree.
Thin: Ooh! Ooh! Red makes me happy!!
Thin jumps up and down for no apparent reason, and Marion joins in.
Marion: (Hey! I bet I can jump better than you!)
Then after jumping up and down five times for no apparent reason, a red door appears. And O' Blocks breaks down the red tree.
Thin: But...red made me happy... : (
O' Blocks: Ehy! You're teh heroes!! Tehre you ares!!
Marion: (Why do you want me?)
Thin: He asked why you want him.
O' Blocks: Huh?
Thin: I mean... He's asked'es whys yous wants hims!!
O' Blocks: I wants his autographs!!
Marion: (Not for you, stinky.)
Thin: He saids, 'Nots fors yous, Stinkys.'!
O' Blocks: Ehy?! He's saids I was stinky?! That's it! You're gonna pays!!
Marion: -- (Stupid Pixel.)
Marion pokes O' Block's belt. It, and everything else that is O' Blocks, crumbles into a bunch of Kegos. Marion then hurriedly walks over to the red door. He goes in, and the Pixels follow.
Tipper: Don't you think that was too easy...?
Marion: Hmm... (No.)
Thin: Ooooh! A blue altar! Blue makes me happy!
He jumps on one side of the flat altar.
Marion: Hmm! (Not again! I'm gonna show you that I CAN jump better!)
Marion jumps on other side, and they jump up and down at different times, kind of like a teeter-totter. Tipper sighs.
Tipper: We don't have time for this... Look, just jump at the same time, and I'll tell you who jumped higher, okay?
Both: Okay!
They jump, and then another door appears. Marion and Thin get off.
Marion: Hmm? (Weird. I wonder why it did that?)
Tipper: Oh. I forgot that you were supposed to push 1 and - on your Wi-Mote. But if you look, this altar, from above, looks like a Wi-Mote, and Marion and Thin were jumping on 1 and - ! Wow! What are the odds of that?
Thin: Who cares? Who jumped higher?
Tipper: Oh. Hmm. I wasn't watching.
Thin: -- I hate you. But... blue makes me happy!! :D
They walk into the door. Another weird block is there, so Tipper hits it.
Chapter 1-4: Old Ruins. Well...duh!
Marion: Hmm? (Now what?)
Tipper: Go as far right as possibly possible?
Marion: Hmm.
Ahead, they see fire. Fire?!
Marion: OH!! (Fire! Help! I don't want to get burned!!)
Thin: I'll flip you around it!
Tipper: Oh no you don't! Here...
She mumbles something.
Thin: Er...Yuh-oh.
Tipper and Thin somehow meld together, making-
Thinner: Er, this is uncomfortable...
Exactly.
Marion: Hmm... (Whatever. Just flip me around it.)
Thinner: Flippow!!
They flip Marion to 3-D, and he walks around the fire.
Marion: Good. Now... can you flip me back?
Thinner: Sure...
They flip Marion back to 2-D.
Marion: Hmm! (Yayness! I mean...great.)
Thinner: -mumbles som-- No! I want to stay Thinner! But you don't understand. I have to put us back. No! Thinner makes me happy! But you hate me... Oh. Yeah.
Marion: Hmm? (What's going on? Are you talking to each other? Yourself?)
Thinner: No! Yes! But I want to stay like this! But I have to put us back.
They mumble something. There is a flash, and Thinner is no more. Tipper and Thin flutter awkwardly for a moment.
Tipper: I. Am. Never. Doing. That. Again.
Marion: (Whatever. I'm going to walk into that door up there.) -jumps- (Oh. I can't reach it.)
Tipper: ...You're just trying to get on my nerves, aren't you?!
So Tipper does that whole thing with Thin again, and Thin argues on the value of cheese while Tipper flips back to 2-D. Marion hits strange yellow blocks that flip. When she's done returning them to normal, she's about to kill Thin.
Thin: What'd I do?
Tipper: -- Nothing, Thin. Nothing. (Grrrrr...)
Marion: (Well, I'll just jump on these blocks onto my way to freedom. From you two.)
He does so, enters an open area in the desert, and the Pixels follow.
Marion: -- (Now what?)
Dragon: Who dares enter the room of Clacktail? (Hopefully one who brought a byte to eat.)
Marion: (Er...me? And my friends?)
Clacktail: Please wait. Searching databases for Er Me. -a yellow fuzzy thing flashes in his eyes- No match made. Searching databases based on image... -eyes light up, literally- Hello, Marion. Thank you for coming to pick up your Pure Part. (It was really bugging me...)
Marion: (You're welcome...? Where is it?)
Clacktail: Pass on through, kind friend of odd ones.
Voice: Ick. You are as sappy as a pancake with 20 ounces of syrup.
Dimento appears.
Dimento: I have nothing else here to do, except put these 50 variations of Parter commercials into Clacktail's hard drive!
He shoves a floppy disk into Clacktail's mouth.
Tipper: Why did you do that?
Dimento: -smiles, as if he's not already smiling- Just for fun.
Clacktail: Thank you, evil bringer of good snacks. -munchs on disk- Hmm. Tastes like... We-Tubing. -eyes flash- Error! Overload of commercials that are too much the same, but different! Out of disk space! Must shove over important stuff, like cheesecake, the true value of Pi (either something horribly long or 3.15), and the fact that Marion is not an enemy!
Dimento: Marion is your enemy. He has come to take your Pure Part from you. And... -thinks- ...If he says Hmm, you try to bite his hat off. Yeah. (What are the odds of that?)
Clacktail: New program: Parter Corruption. Status: Running.
Dimento: Ahahahahahaha!! Aloha!! -disappears-
Mario: Hmm? (What's that mean?)
Clacktail: Command-3. Bite hat.
It chases after Marion, and he freezes in his tracks.
Marion: Eeek!
Tipper: -somehow kicks Marion onto Clacktail- Marion! Go!
Marion is carried up into the sky. He's standing on Clacktail, who also has Clackers on his back. They make lots of noise.
Clackers: Clack clack clack clack!!
Marion: Oh!
He picks up a Clacker and chucks it at Clacktail's mouth. A keyboard pops out.
Marion: Oh? (I guess I gotta do something on it.)
He somehow climbs into Clacktail's oversized computerized chomper. The keyboard looks like any other keyboard, except for the Override button, which is stuck.
Marion: -- (Ever hear of flossing? Now, what was it that Louigi said to push if PerfectWord freezes up on me...?)
Flashback!!
Marion is sitting at his desk, typing on his laptop. He types random gibberish so fast that PerfectWord does not respond even to his clicks.
Marion: Louigi? I think I broke it.
Louigi: -sigh- (Moron.) No, Marion. You didn't break it. You just went too fast for PerfectWord.
Marion: What do you mean, too fast?
Louigi points to the screen, which is filled with:
ajhkahldfhlkahfiolhealbnclibfhiunciubdblasdjhl... and so on.
Oh, great. PerfectWord froze up on me! I'll have to type slow with random gibberish.
Marion: Whatever. How do you fix it, then?
Louigi: Oh! Everybody knows how. It's just-
Marion: -eyes pizza on table- (Mmmmm...)
Louigi: And that's that! Remember that, Marion, okay?
Marion: -drooling- Uh-huh...
Flashback over!!
Marion: Hmm. (Maybe it's Mmmmmmmm?)
Clacktail: Command-3. Bite hat. -closes mouth- Completed.
Marion: Oh... (Great. I can't see!)
Tipper: Hi.
Thin: Ooh! I always wanted to explore a cave!!
Marion: Help! What do I push if PerfectWord freezes on me?
Tipper: -sigh- Everyone knows that it's Ctrl. Alt. Del., Marion.
Marion: Oh. (At the same time? These keys aren't fingers apart, you know!)
Tipper: I know, all right. I don't have fingers. Anyway, if I get on Ctrl, Thin gets on Alt, and you get on Delete, maybe we have a shot at this.
Marion: But we can't see!
Tipper: Just jump!
They all jump on random different keys, somehow winding up hitting Ctrl., Alt., and Del.
Clacktail: Program: Parter Corruption Status: Unresponsive. End Program?
Tipper: Yes!
Clacktail: Ending Program... -eyes flash- Oh no! The Heroes are in my MOUTH!!
It opens its mouth and they all fall onto the sand.
Clacktail: Sorry, guys! -turns head- Oh noes!
It smashes into another red tree in the distance, and Clacktail falls apart into pieces.
Marion: Well, I guess we can keep going, then.
In a somewhat-frozen-sanctum-room-thingy...
Merleemina: You wish to have the Pure Part?
Marion: Yeah! (No. I wish to have Eggys, but that's not my problem. Sure. I'll take a Pure Part.)
Merleemina: Then you must endure my story!! I am Merleemina, the author of the Light Prognosticative Book. I gained my inspiration from the title of the Dark Prognosticative Book, but that gained inspiration from the fact that is was a dark book that told the future. I...
Marion and Tipper: ... -asleep-
Thin: Ooh! Story! Keep going.
Possibly hours later...
Merleemina: And that is how the Pure Part came to be! I hope that children weren't reading, because they would throw up from the mushy and romantical stuff that I was just saying!! Hello? Are you awake? Were you listening to me?!
Thin throws up. Marion and Tipper jolt awake.
Tipper: Yeah...
Merleemina: Good enough. Here. -grudgingly hands over Pure Part- I know... I'll miss you too...
She sniffles and disappears.
Marion: Hmm! (Yay! But seriously, I think she was insane!)
Tipper: Yes! We got the Pure Part!
End of Chapter!
End of Chapter 1!
So, what do you think? Chapter 2 should be up around April. When in April? Sometime soon!
If you took the time to read this, surely you have the time to review...? Thanks a lot if you do!