The Other Side of Happy
"It figures, you know?"
"What does?"
He walks over to the window, staring out at the campus beyond. "I finally got everything I wanted. I'm on good terms with my dad, Sammy is getting his job, I got the most amazing girl I've ever known as my girlfriend, I finally made it to Harvard...and I'm absolutely miserable."
"Dean..."
"I mean, I'm trying, all the time, but it's just too hard. Everything is too hard lately." I watch in stunned silence as he reaches into an inside pocket on his jacket and withdraws a beer, quickly cracking it and downing half in one gulp. His green eyes water; I can't tell if it's from the alcohol or the emotions he's drowning in right now.
"None of this is your fault," I tell him softly, coming up to wrap my arms around him from behind. He doesn't move. "Look...Sam, your dad...they're happy, Dean. You helped them to be happy-"
"But at what cost?" Dean asks, turning to look at me. There's so much pain on his face. "I freaking changed the future, Jo. I messed with time! I made a stupid deal and we're the only ones who know about it. Cas is gone, Mom's gone, Kevin and Bobby and the others are gone. And all because I wanted to be happy."