South Park Elementary was filled with talking and giggling from students gossiping and from teachers gossiping. It was especially noisy when school finally let out the bored and crazy children of the small town in Colorado. In the hallway was a group of fourth grade girls who were all in the cheer-leading squad, talking about the latest fashion and giggling about boys.
"I wonder if Craig would go out with me if I asked," Red said, giggling as she and her friends stood by the lockers. "He's such a bad boy, flipping everyone off like whatever. He's so cool." The girls giggled, agreeing with her.
Then a locker was shut with a soft bang. It was Token, and Clyde was right next to him. "Nah," Token said, interrupting, "Craig wouldn't go out with you."
"Why is that, Token?" Nicole asked, wondering what her boyfriend knew.
"Because he doesn't like Red," Clyde answered. "And he's already dating someone."
The entire group gasped, and so did Token, covering his friend's mouth before Clyde could say any more. "Who?!" all but Nicole and Wendy shouted.
"Craig has a girlfriend?" Bebe asked in disbelief. "Who is she? Tell us!"
The other girls clamored in, chiming their demands to know.
"No way," Token answered, backing away with Clyde. The girls were looking at them with a greed and desire to know; it was scary. "Craig'll kill us! He even said it himself, and you know that Craig doesn't threaten, he just starts beating you! He trusts us, man!"
"Well, there isn't going to be anything left of you if you don't tell us who Craig's girlfriend is!" Bebe shouted.
With that, Token and Clyde ran away as fast as they could, running from the cold and terrifying claws of the girls. However, the deed was done, and by the next morning, everyone fucking knew. Gossip skyrocketed from the grade levels of three to fifth, intense in the fourth.
When Craig arrived in class, with Tweek right behind him as usual, all the girls started bombarding him with questions about who his girlfriend was. Some were hoping to stave off the competition, and some were actually curious. Craig answered with a cold glare and flipping them all off, sparing a moment to glare at Token and Clyde, who pretended to be innocent in all this. Tweek started to have a slight panic attack and would've passed out if Craig didn't calm him down with promises of coffee after school.
It was only when Mr. Garrison came in, telling the students, "Get your asses in your seats now!" that everything settled down for the moment. The girls, thankfully, left Craig alone, but now it was the guys' turn, which was a bunch of whispering and cursing while trying not to get Mr. Garrison's attention from the board, which wasn't hard because Mr. Garrison was a bitch. And by guys, I mean, Cartman and only Cartman.
"Dude, Craig," Cartman whispered nonchalantly, "who's your girlfriend?"
"Fuck off, Cartman," Craig said, flipping him off.
"Oh, look at that. Craig Tucker's being defensive?" Cartman mocked. "Is that love I hear in your tone, Craig? Why don't you get your girlfriend to fuck you in the ass if you're such a fag now?"
"Cartman," Kyle shouted, whispering at the same time, "shut up! If Craig doesn't want to tell you, you can't egg him on. He'll kick your ass!"
"Yeah, I'll kick your ass, Cartman," Craig repeated, looking bored.
"You're such a pussy, Kyle, you stupid Jew," Cartman said, rolling his eyes. "Come on, Stan, Kenny. Don't you guys want to know who Craig's girlfriend is too?"
"No," Stan answered, glaring at the fatass. "Now shut up, Cartman. I'm trying to pay attention, you fatass."
"I'm not fat!" Cartman said defensively. "I'm just big boned. Come on, Kenny, say something." Kenny replied with a bunch of muffled words. "Wait, what do you mean you already know who Craig's dating? Who is it, Kenny?! Tell me!"
"Eric Cartman!" Mr. Garrison shouted from the front of the class. "Go to the counselor right now!"
"Fuck," Cartman said, grumbling as he got off his seat and walked out of class. "I'll find out who your girlfriend is, Craig!"
"Eric! Now!"
"I'm fucking going! Calm your tits, Mr. Garrison! God!"
Cartman slammed the door on the way out, but he slammed so hard it hit him on the ass, making him yell out. The class laughed.
"C-craig," Tweek whispered, twitching slightly from the seat to the right. He took a large sip of coffee from his thermo. "T-th-they know. JESUS CHRIST! Th-th-this TOO much p-p-p-pressure!"
"It's fine, Tweekers," Craig said, not sounding worried at all. Actually his tone was still monotone but with a bare minimum of softness in it as well. "If anyone tries to hurt you, I'll kick their ass. Okay?"
"O-okay, Craig. W-w-want to go to m-my house after -NGH- s-sch-school?"
"Sure, Tweekers."
Tweek gave a small, lopsided smile and turned away to pay attention to Mr. Garrison talking about the entire plot of House, M.D.
At lunchtime, Craig and his gang, who was Clyde, Token, and Tweek, were eating cafeteria food with Stan and his gang, who were Kyle, Cartman, and Kenny. This was a common occurrence but at the maximum of two times a week. Despite their many differences and few common interest, these guys were still friends, per say, and enjoyed each other's company if a fight didn't occur between any of them. But the one happening right now was because Craig was tired of girls coming up and asking him who his girlfriend was, which Craig would never let Token and Clyde live down.
"You guys are such asshole," Craig said with a very distinct lack of tone. He double flipped both of them off. "Thanks a lot, you guys."
"We said we were sorry, Craig," Clyde said, pouting because his friend wouldn't let him live it down. "It was an accident! We heard some of the girls talking about wanting to ask you out, and we wanted to make sure they didn't."
"Yeah," Token said, backing Clyde up. "I mean, how would your girlfriend feel if some random girl just came up and asked you out? Right, Tweek?"
"GAH!" Tweek shouted, shocked by the question. "I-I-I don't! PRESSURE! T-the under-underwear gno-gnomes! They'll k-k-kill me! GAH!"
"Don't start pushing Tweek," Craig said, warning with a cold stare and a middle finger. He pushed Tweek's thermo to the panicky fourth grade, who grabbed it and took a long sip.
"Why don't you just tell the girls who your girlfriend is, Craig?" Kyle suggested. "It'll get them to settle down a bit."
"That's not a bad idea, Kyle," Stan agreed. "It's better than letting Cartman find out himself and traumatize her."
"The hell are you talking about, Stan?" Cartman said, crossing his arms. "I won't be the one traumatizing her! The girls will! Don't you know that girls are crazy werewolf creatures that transform into hideous monsters with sharp nails and teeth when they get angry? Don't you, Stan? Because that's is serious shit I'm telling you, Stan. They'll tear Craig's girlfriend apart."
Tweek screamed out of fear, jumping up in his seat. Craig kicked Cartman from underneath the table, making the fat child shouted in pain. "What the fuck, Cartman?" Craig said darkly, pulling Tweek closer to him a little so that they were touching arms. He flipped Cartman the bird.
Kenny said some muffled words in an annoyed tone to leave Craig alone.
"That's stupid, Cartman," Kyle said with an angry look. "Girls aren't werewolves. They're human beings, just like boys."
"You say that now, Kyle," Cartman said, pointing a finger at the Jew, "but mark my words. Girls are werewolves."
At that moment, the sky above became cloudy, and a flash of lightening lit up the sky, banging a loud bang. Tweek jumped and screamed in fear. At the same time, Butters ran in, coming up to the boys' table in a huge hurry. He was huffing and puffing. "Fellas!" he shouted. "They found Cindy Hughman with her head stuck in the girl's bathroom!"
With that, everyone ran out of the cafeteria and to the girl's bathroom, where there was already a large crowd. Mr. Mackey and Principal Victoria was there, monitoring the situation as the nurse went in with a first - aid kid and the abomination attached to her head.
"What the hell happened?" Stan asked when the boys pushed their way to the front. There was red tape forbidding the entrance of the bathroom.
"C-cindy Hugh-hugh-hughman was att-tta-ttacked by the je-je-jelly girls," Jimmy answered, the first one to the scene.
"What are jelly girls?" Kyle asked, confused.
"Girls who are full of jelly," Cartman answered with all seriousness. Everyone's attention was turned to him. "See? This was what I was telling you about, Kyle, you stupid Jew! They're beasts, I tell you! First they hear news of what is threatening them, and then!" Cartman jumped into front of Timmy, who shouted his name in excitement. "And then they pounce with the ferociousness of a dolphin - hating Japanese!"
"That's fucking stupid, Cartman," Stan said, rolling his eyes in annoyance. "Wendy's not like that."
"That's because she already has a boyfriend, Stan," Cartman said with wide eyes. "You're that boyfriend, dipshit. But all the other girls don't have boyfriends, and they're waiting to get the best one, even willing to kill for that chance! These girls aren't just crazy, Stan. They're fucking crazy."
Another flash of lightening hit, and all was still, except Tweek who was shaking and twitching more than usual. "T-the were-were-werewolves are out to g-g-get me!" he screamed quietly, clutching his hands to his hair. "JESUS CHRIST! THIS IS TOO MUCH PRESSURE!"
Craig quickly hushed him, pulling Tweek's hands down so that Tweek would look up. Tweek always looked down with his hands in his hair. "It's fine, Tweekers," Craig said, pulling Tweek with him, away from the crowd who was still watching the bathroom door. "If I can protect you from the gnomes, I can sure as hell protect you from werewolves. Come on, we're going to my house."
"B-but there's school! M-m-my pa-parents are -NGH- going to freak!"
"Doesn't matter. Just tell your parents that you needed more coffee and the school didn't have any more so you went to my house. My parents are at work, so it'll be empty. We can watch Red Racer and make coffee. Is that okay, Tweekers?"
Tweek, not trusting himself not to scream again, nodded, and the side of Craig's lips turned up in some form of smile. Craig continued to drag Tweek, first to their classroom where they grabbed their bags (Craig left a fake note on Mr. Garrison's desk to excuse their absence, which probably won't work but was worth a try), then out of school. When they got a far enough distance, Craig stopped pulling Tweek by the arm and held his hand instead. It was very warm despite the cool air that surrounded them.
It was as if Jesus decided to make it a good day instead of a bad one when the dark, rain threatening sky parted, letting sunlight hit the white ice blanketing the ground known as snow, and the two fourth graders made their way towards Craig's house without a single person meeting them on the way. It was a really nice walk.
At Craig's house, they did everything that Craig said that they would do. The Tucker house was empty, his parents at work and his sister at school still. Craig immediately sat Tweek on the couch in front of the TV, putting on a special DVD of Red Racer & the Missing Shoe to distract the spastic for the moment, and then going to the kitchen to make a hot batch of coffee. Craig finally settled down himself when he had a cup of coffee and another cup of chocolate milk, giving the coffee to Tweek and the chocolate for himself.
For the next three hours, the two little loves snuggled comfortably next to each on the couch, watching a lot of Red Racer and drinking a lot of hot drinks. When it was time that school had ended, Mrs. Tucker and Ruby came home. All three Tuckers flipped each other off.
"What are you two doing home already?" Mrs. Tucker asked, hands at her hips. She was a little stern but not by that much.
"I wasn't feeling well," Craig lied without hesitation, "so I went to the nurse. She said to go home if I was feeling really bad. Tweek's here because he was worried. He should have seen him earlier, Mom. He was crying for me to take him along."
"Eeeek!" Tweek exclaimed, clutching the coffee mug in his hands. He wasn't twitching as much right now, showing that he was very calm. "H-hi, Mrs. -GAH- TUCKER! H-hi, Ru-ru-NGH-ruby!"
"Are you feeling better now?" Mrs. Tucker asked.
"Yeah, a whole lot, Mom," Craig said in monotone.
"Well, that's fine then. Thanks for watching Craig for me, Tweek."
"But Mom," Ruby interrupted with a shitty grin, "it was Craig watching Tweek though." Craig flipped her off.
"Who cares," Mrs. Tucker said, going into the kitchen. "As long as it keeps your brother out of trouble, I don't care. Tweek, will you be staying for dinner?"
"N-na-no," Tweek answered, twitching once. "Gah! I ne-need to be getting -ngh- home n-now. Th-thank you fo-for oh-o-of-off-offering, Mrs. Tu-tucker!"
Tweek received no reply as Mrs. Tucker was already in the kitchen, minding her own business, and Ruby had already went to her room. "Let's hang out at Stark's Pond later," Craig said, getting off the couch and offering Tweek a hand up.
Tweek accepted it and easily gotten up, and then he blushed when he realized that Craig gave him a kiss on the cheek. "Oh, Jesus!" Tweek cried out, twitching, but there was a sweet smile on his face. They both walked to Tweek's house with a smile on each of their faces (though Craig hid his behind a stoic face whenever someone came close; he had a reputation to uphold, of course), talking about everything side - by - side.
At Tweek's house, they were greeted by Mrs. Tweak, who asked her son, "Tweek, I received a phone call that you disappeared after lunch. What happened?"
"No-nothing, Mom," Tweek squeaked. "Ngh! Ju-just ran out of co-coffee! JESUS CHRIST!"
"The school didn't have anymore, so I took him to my house, Mrs. Tweak," Craig continued, knowing that it was better for him to answer because Tweek didn't like to lie. Craig, on the other hand, didn't give a fuck. It wasn't like he did it all the time, sometimes. A lot. Okay, okay, Craig was a fucking liar.
"Well, okay, sweetie," Mrs. Tweek said, going back to her business, whatever they were.
Tweek let out a shaky sigh of relief, going in for a moment to put his things away while Craig waited patiently. "Come on, Tweekers," Craig said, pulling Tweek with him to leave the house, "I'll show a dead bird I found yesterday. It's super cool and everything. Let's poke it with a stick."
"B-but what if it ha-ha-has ebo-ebo-ebola, Craig?" Tweek shouted. "Jesus Christ. TOO MUCH P-PRESSURE! The government's out to get us!"
"Tweekers, shut up," Craig said that with a gentle tone.
Over the next month, none of the girls would shut up about Craig's girlfriend. All the boys found out about how popular Craig was among the girls, even the sixth graders who heard how cool he always was, making mysterious and hot for some reason none of the boy could understand.
At first, it was okay. Well, as okay as okay can be in South Park. But then then number of hits by jelly girls who got pissed off at the mere mention of some other girl being Craig's girlfriend increased, at least three every week. The girl's bathrooms had been closed several time s for examination.
Craig, however, didn't give a fuck at all because he didn't care, flipping off every girl that waved and giggled at him. But then, some of the girls decided to ask Craig out, believing that his girlfriend was just a rumor made up to distract everyone from him. Thus the number of hits by jelly girls increased once more. At that point, Craig was seriously starting to get pissed off.
"Why won't these girls just stop already?" Craig asked in monotone, showing none of his concerns or tiredness of all this mess. Luckily, Tweek was eating with Butters today so that he could talk to Clyde and Token about how to fix it.
"Because you're still 'single'," Clyde answered, sitting on the swings.
"I was 'single' even before."
"Maybe it's because the girlfriend thing started a competition with all the girls," Token said, sitting on the other swing. "You just need to wait it out, or tell everyone who this girlfriend of yours is."
"No way, man," Craig said, shooting that latter idea down. "Tweek will freak out if I do that. I can't do that to him."
"Why don't you ask him that first, Craig?" Token asked. "Give Tweek a chance to choose instead of deciding everything yourself."
"No, it's fine. I'll just wait this out then."
"I don't know," Clyde chimed in. "I think you should ask him before this could get messier."
Craig stared at his two best friends and thought long and hard about it. "Fine," he finally said when the bell rang. They all walked back to class.
Once settled in class, Craig passed Tweek a note, deciding that whispering would allow eavesdroppers, and that was something he didn't want to deal with. A small folded piece of paper was thrown on top of Tweek's desk, making Tweek scream "JESUS CHRIST!" before he covered his mouth. He was still twitching when he looked towards Craig who gestured him to open it.
Do you want to tell them already? Craig wrote in surprisingly neat writing. I want the girls to leave me alone already, but it's alright if you don't want to tell. I'm sure I can stand them until everything settles down. What do you think?
Craig watched as Tweek decided. It was a good thing they sat at the corner in the back because people rarely turned around, so they could have a lot of private moments without being bothered. They only had to worry about Mr. Garrison, but he was always distracted by the guys who sat in the front. Craig liked their seat a lot because he got to watch Tweek without being caught staring at the other boy. It was so totally unlike of Craig to be that way, but Tweek changed him a lot, even though many couldn't tell.
After that big fight between him and Tweek, Craig became friends with the spaz, realizing how cool Tweek was for fight him. Tweek was soooo cool. They got extremely close, being good friends to best friends to boyfriends. They've come a long way, but it was worth it. Clyde and Token knew because they were Craig's other best friends.
Craig realized he had a crush on Tweek when Tweek left their group for a while to be Kenny's replacement. It was a dark and boring time for Craig, who went back to being the lone, tough guy he was and still is today. When Tweek was kicked out and replaced by Kenny, Craig confessed, scaring living shit out of Tweek who didn't expect that to happen ever, especially from a boy like Craig and from a boy. Fortunately for Craig, Tweek said yes to be his boyfriend because the little coffee addict was sure that no one will ever confess to him again. That and Tweek wanted to be like a normal person before he died. That would've been very sad to hear, but Craig couldn't help being happy because he had now been dating Tweek for almost six months, and they were still going strong. In the future, Tweek would be his so - called first and only love, but at the moment, Craig was only a fourth grader and didn't know that kind of sentimental crap existed.
Craig really hoped it would last forever, but he would never admit it out loud. You would've to torture him in Hell with Satan before he'll even make a peep about that fact. Who knows how big of blackmail it could be?
He was brought out of his daydream when Tweek threw the small folded piece of paper at his face. "S-s-sorry, Craig," Tweek stuttered out lowly, looking a little guilty. He twitched his shoulder to his head, blinking an eye on the same side. "O-o-o-open -ngh- it."
Craig did, finding three words written messily on it, right below his own. ok. for you. Craig felt bubbly inside the rest of the day.
When the bell rang, Mr. Garrison was the first to run out of the classroom, throwing all the papers in his hands up into the air and shouting, "My fucking weekend is here! I don't have to deal with you damn kids anymore! Hooray! See you, motherfuckers!"
The students watched as the old guy ran out of the classroom, not fully explaining the homework that was due Monday. It was silent for a moment, everyone frozen because they couldn't believe what a weirdo their teacher was and how he was still a teacher. Serious, that guy should have been arrested a long time ago, right from birth, before birth.
The disbelief froze them for ten seconds before everyone started moving, wanting to go home and play just as much. As they packed, some were leaving so quick that some of things were falling out of their backpacks. Craig packed his stuff and waited for Tweek who finished soon after. Then he grabbed Tweek's hands, surprising Tweek to shout, "Gah!" Craig dragged him from their seats to the front of the class, not caring that everyone can see that they were holding hands.
"Excuse me," Craig said, clearing his throat, but no one heard him. He felt Tweek's hand twitch in his. "Excuse me, you fucking morons!"
He got the attention of everyone who haven't left yet now, flipping everyone off. Tweek hid himself behind the monotone one, twitching and biting his bottom lip not to spout random loudness. "What's up, Craig?" Kyle asked, waiting for Stan to hurry up so that they could football. "You need something, buddy?"
"I just want to tell all the girls to go fuck off," Craig answered with no tone, eyeing all the girls in the class carefully while turning his bird to them one at a time. "I don't have a girlfriend, and I don't ever want one because my girlfriend is my boyfriend."
The entire class gasped, shocked to hear such news. Craig flipped them all off. "Hahahahaha!" Cartman laughed, grabbing his stomach and pointing at Craig. "You're a fag, Craig! Gay fag! What a bitch!"
"Shut the fuck off, Cartman," Craig said, flipping Cartman the bird. "And I'm not gay. I only like Tweek."
The class once again gasped, shocked that bad boy Craig Tucker was dating local spaz Tweek Tweak.
"Now, tell all the girls to fuck off," Craig said, pulling Tweek out of the class. Tweek huddled closely behind him, his free hand over his mouth. At the entrance, Craig turned around once more, glaring darkly at everyone with his middle finger out and proud, and said, "If anyone even thinks about hurting Tweek, jelly girl or not, I will fucking kill you."
Craig and Tweek left without another word, leaving the rest of the class frozen once again.
"Holy shit, dude," Stan said bluntly.
"Yeah," Kyle said just as bluntly. Kenny starting giggling, finding everyone's reactions to be funny as hell.
Outside, walking in a snow covered town, Craig and Tweek were on the way to Tweek's house because Tween really needed some coffee right now to calm him down as his heart was pounding really loud in his chest. "JESUS CHRIST!" he shouted, gripping the hold on Craig's hand tightly. He was twitching more than usual.
"You okay, Tweekers?" Craig asked, sounding the slightest worried. Maybe it wasn't a good idea to tell everyone.
"Ye-yeah," Tweek answered, still huddled close to his boyfriend. He offered a small smile. "Ju-ju-just -ngh- p-p-p-p-p-p-pressure! Gah!"
"That's good then. Tell me if anyone tries to mess with you for this. I'll kick their ass."
"E-even the werewolves?"
"Even the werewolves."
This made Tweek feel a lot safer, settling down a bit. He always felt safe with Craig because Craig was always the brave one and everything. He had even taken on fifth graders before. Tweek never knew why and would always be answered with, "Because they looked at you weird." Being with Craig made Tweek very comfortable and made him forget that he even had problems.
At Tweek's house, they were greeted by Mr. and Mrs. Tweak, who were both in the kitchen. Mrs. Tweek was washing the dishes while Mr. Tweek was reading his newspaper. "Hello, Craig," Mr. Tweak said, looking up. "Welcome home, Tweek."
"Sit down, you two," Mrs. Tweak said, placing a plate of cookies and two cups of coffee on the table. "Have a little snack before you go off and play."
"Th-thanks, Mo-mo-mom. GNOMES!" Tweek said, sitting down with Craig. "Uhm, Mo-mom, Da-da-dad! I ha-have something to -NGH- tell you!" Craig eyed him curiously.
"What is it, son?" Mrs. Tweek asked, standing behind the two boys.
"Is it about the gnomes again?" Mr. Tweek added, putting his paper down for the moment.
"No," Tweek said, taking a deep breath. "Ihaveaboyfriendandit'sCraig!"
"Tweekers?" Craig said, surprised. Tweek became still like a statue with tears threatening to fall out of his eyes, so Craig forgot his surprise and placed a hand on Tweek's.
"What?" Mrs. Tweak said because she didn't catch anything her son said.
"Tweek just said that he has a boyfriend and it's Craig," Mr. Tweak said with a laugh. He had that non - caring smile on his face, pushing the cup of coffee to his son to drink. "Well, that's good news, Tweek. I might have thought it myself that a rainbow showed up over the two of you whenever you're together. We're happy for you. Right, darling?"
Mrs. Tweak laughed softly. "Of course," she said, agreeing with her husband. "That's so good for you, Tweek. Take care of my son, Craig, or else I'll be very angry and murder your family, okay?" she said that last bit with a cheery tone and sweet smile. Then she went back to washing the dishes, and Mr. Tweek to his paper.
"Ahhhhh!" Tweek yelled, shaking and twitching so much that the chair he was sitting was trembling along with him.
Craig figured they should go to Tweek's room now, thinking that Mr. and Mrs. Tweek cared but at the same time didn't want to give a crap as long as Tweek wasn't going insane. He told Tweek to go to his room with a cup of coffee, and Craig followed behind with the plate of cookies, leaving the other cup on the table. He wasn't much of a coffee drinker. Coke and juice would do.
"You okay, Tweekers?" Craig asked, closing the door behind him. Tweek was shaking a little, sitting on his bed and holding his coffee cup tightly.
Tweek silently nodded, twitching with a "Ngh!" Craig put the plate of cookies on the floor and sat right next to Tweek, putting both arms around the blond in hopes of calming him down, even just a bit. It worked as Tweek stopped shaking. "Why did you tell your parents?" Craig asked in a soft tone, resting his head on Tweek's. He was one of the tallest in the fourth grade, and Tweek was small compared to him.
"I-I don't -ngh- know," Tweek answered, taking a sip of his coffee. "I ju-ju-just -gah- wanted t-t-to te-tell them since ever-everyone already kn-knows. I-I'm so-so-sorry if you di-di-din't -gah- want m-me to."
"Nah, it's cool," Craig said, smiling a bit. "I thought it was really brave because who knows how your parents would react. I'm proud of you, Tweekers. You're the man."
Tweek laughed a little, moving his head to look at Craig. His eyes were a little teary, but nothing threatened to fall. He hugged Craig back, dropping an empty cup of coffee on the floor, and placed his head on his boyfriend's shoulder. "Th-thanks, Craig," Tweek said quietly. "I-I re-really -ngh- like you. I'm ha-happy t-to know some-someone like you l-likes -ngh- me."
"I like you too, Tweekers. I'm happy you even wanted to try. Want to eat some cookies now?"
Tweek nodded, and Craig carefully let go of him for a few seconds, rushing to bring up the plate of cookies up the bed. As they ate, the two boys talked with a lot of laughing. Tweek could be quite funny when he was calm enough during a conversation. After the cookies, they started playing with Tweek's toys, making more than a few hours fly past quite quickly. And until Mrs. Tweak came up, neither of them noticed Tweek's lack of need for coffee. It was, of course, unsettling to Mrs. Tweak and Tweek, but Craig promised it was okay. Tweek believed him.
By dinnertime, Craig left. By bedtime, he was back, carrying a bag of clothes to change into and sporting a black eye, frightening Tweek when he answered the door.
"Ahhhhh!" Tweek yelled, eyes wide. "Wh-what happ-happened -GAH- to you?!"
"Nothing much," Craig answered with no tone. "I told my parents too, and my stupid dad punched me in the face for being a fag."
"A-are you okay?!"
"Compared to my stupid dad, yeah. When he punched me, it pissed off my mom, and she started beating at him. It was so cool to watch, and she was yelling too. She never does that. That made her so cool now. She told me and my sister to pack something and go to a friend's house. I think she was going to beat my stupid dad until he doesn't care about the fag thing anymore. Can I stay with you tonight?"
"Ye-yeah. D-do you -gah- want some -p-p-pressure- i-i-ice?"
"Sure. Thanks, Tweekers."
Tweek nodded frantically as he grabbed Craig by the hand and pulled him quickly pulled him to the kitchen, making Craig sit down before he grabbed ice and shoved it into a zip-lock bag. His hand was shaking as he tried to gently place the makeshift ice bag on Craig's eye. It felt really nice. "D-d-do you -ngh- feel better?" Tweek asked after a few minutes of comfortable silence.
"Yeah," Craig answered, sounding a little sleepy. "I feel a lot better. You make a good doctor, Tweekers."
Tweek twitched with a blush on his face. "A-are you tired?"
"A little."
"Th-then go t-t-to sl-ngh-sleep. Y-you can us-use m-m-my bed."
"Are we sharing?"
"I-I do-don't use m-m-my bed -Jesus Christ- much. I-I'm go-going to watch T-T-T-T-TV."
"Why not?"
"I-I can't sl-sleep. The gnomes! The gno-gnomes are go-going to kid-kidnap m-m-me and sell me t-to the gov-government! Gah! Th-that's to-too much p-p-p-p-pressure! JESUS CHRIST!"
"Where your parents?"
"Sl-sleeping."
Craig frowned a bit but didn't say anything about that. "Don't worry about the gnomes, Tweekers," he said, standing up and putting down the ice pack on the table. "I can protect you from the gnomes, remember? Come on, let's go to bed. I'll make sure the gnomes don't get you and sell you to the government."
Without waiting for a response, Craig pulled Tweek out of the kitchen and upstairs. They brushed their teeth, and Craig quickly changed into the pajamas he brought with him. They quickly settled onto Tweek's bed, laying side-by-side until Craig placed an arm over the spaz, whispering, "Good night, Tweekers."
Tweek blushed for some reason and nodded, turning his head to Craig's. "Go-good n-n-n-night, Craig," he replied, carefully to place a light kiss on Craig's black eye. It stung a little, but Craig was sure it was sooooooooo worth it.
That night, Tweek feel asleep fine, being so comfortable and safe with Craig right next to him. And like Craig said, the underwear gnomes didn't touch him so Tweek woke up still in his bed instead of being sold to the government. Tweek had never been so relieved in his young ten year old life before.
On the Monday back, everyone in South Park Elementary knew about Craig and Tweek, but none dared to take on Craig's promise because that boy was known as one of the school's bad asses. No one messes with a bad ass and lives to tell the tale. So all in all, there were only stares and whispers, but that didn't bother either of them much because they were too distracted by each other to even notice. Their classmates, oddly enough, had all decided to be cool with it, with the exception of Cartman, but he was just joking. Though his jokes would get a bit too far sometimes, but someone would always hit him before he could get into real deep shit.
However, that was in their class. Outside of it, in one of the sixth grade classes sat the biggest jelly girl for Craig in the whole school. Her name was Luna Jace, one of the prettiest girls at school. She was so super popular and all that cliché shit of all the sixth graders, and she had the biggest hypothetical boner for the baddest of bad boys. She was known to be very strict about the bad boys she dated, making her known as the Heartbreaker because she dumped her boyfriend when she thinks they had gotten soft by starting to liking her. She was also a werewolf and a real bitch about getting who she wanted. She tore down everyone in her way and didn't care, just like the bad boys she dated.
"He's dating a fucking boy?!" Luna screeched at her group of followers, girls who listened to everything she said in hopes of getting on her good side and become just as popular as her. They cringed and said nothing. "What the fuck?! I wanted to date Craig Tucker, and he's dating another fucking fourth grader?!"
"What are you going to do?" Follower A asked. Luna knew none of her followers' names, only calling them Follower whatever letter came next. There was a hierarchy based on who was closest to A. Z was at the bottom. They all looked like the generic version of her with bleach blonde hair and painted white skin. They sort of look like the Vamp kids but didn't. They looked like shitty copies of Luna.
"What else, you fat bitch?!" Luna scoffed, flipping her pretty hair. "Who's the fourth grader Craig is dating?"
"A kid named Tweek Tweak," Follower D answered. "His parents own the only coffee shop in town. It's complete shit. The kid's a total spaz and can't say a sentence without stuttering or shouting about gnomes and the government."
"Then I'm going to tell this Tweek kid to back off from my man."
"But they said that the Tweek kid is off limits," Follower Q said. "They say that Tucker said it himself. He even threatened to kill. He threatened, Luna."
"That just makes him so much hotter you dumb whore! What kind of girl doesn't like a boy who would beat the living shit put of her at any time? It's fucking exciting."
"I don't," said Follower B.
Luna eyed the horrible copy. "You're demoted to Follower Z, you cock sucking hoe," she said, walking away. Everyone else followed behind, leaving Follower Z (formerly B) to stand there, crying. "Bring me Tweek Tweak at lunchtime."
Stepping out of the boy's bathroom was the most surprising time to be kidnapped because it was true. Before Tweek was fully aware about what happened, three copies had jacked him from the door and dragged him into the girl's bathroom right next door. This, of course, freaked the fuck out of Tweek because he was just kidnapped and brought to the girl's bathroom. It was far more terrifying than being kidnapped and sold to the government for sure.
"JESUS CHRIST!" Tweek screamed, forced against the bathroom door by a couple pairs of hands and facing the pretty face of Luna. "Wh-what the FUCK is go-going -ngh- on?! A-are you going to kill me! JESUS CHRIST!"
"Shut up, twitchy," Luna mocked, hitting Tweek on the head to shut him up. She held a perfect manicured finger right in front of his nose. "Now listen to me, you little faggot. You're Craig Tucker's little boyfriend, right? Well, you're going to tell him that you're breaking up with him because I want him to be my boyfriend. Do you hear me, you little bitch?"
Tweek twitched, feeling really scared, so he remained silent, only making his usual noise. "Gah!"
"Good," Luna said, pulling Tweek by the collar and shoving him out of the bathroom harshly. "If you don't, I'll fucking kill you, twitchy."
The bathroom door closed, and Tweek was left in an empty hallway, wanting to cry. But he didn't because then if he went back to class crying, Craig was going to go ballistic and get into a lot of trouble. He started walking back, trembling and holding back tears, thinking that maybe he should tell Craig about it. There was no way he was going to break up with Craig, but he didn't want to get Craig in any trouble. Mrs. Tucker said she didn't care as long as Craig was out of trouble, and if Tweek got Craig in trouble, she would hate him and never let him see Craig again. Tweek couldn't let that happen. He liked Craig too much.
Maybe it wouldn't be hard to pretend he wasn't being threatened. The outcome would outweigh the means, right? Right, Tweek decided, walking into class, acting all normal, which wasn't at all, but normal for him, twitching and stuttering out sounds as he went back to his seat. "What took you so long?" Craig whispered.
"Oh, nothing," Tweek answered slowly, almost choppy. He bit the inside of his cheek in order to not make any more sounds. Craig made a confused face but didn't continue on, figuring he would ask Tweek what happened after school.
However, Tweek refused to tell him, and that really gave Craig really bad vibes because Tweek answered slowly and choppy when he telling Craig nothing was wrong. Something was definitely wrong, but Craig didn't push it, trusting Tweek to tell him when he was ready. Craig was willing to wait, but he was still worried, really worried. Something bad better not be happening to Tweek.
Once the topic was pushed away, Tweek was the way he always was, stuttering and being all cute and shit. Seriously, this boy was going to be the death of him, Craig thought. Who doesn't like a blond with weird tendencies like twitching and drinking coffee constantly as an upper and a downer? Right? So Craig forgot about it.
Well, he would've if he didn't keep noticing how Tweek had become more paranoid, twitching even more than usual and speaking really slow and choppy. It was really getting on Craig's nerves, making him even more worried. At first, it was barely noticeable, but Craig, being a very good boyfriend, starting taking note.
Whenever Tweek went on his own, like to go to the bathroom or to get something from somewhere, it would take him longer than it should. The school was not that big. Craig could always catch his eyes looking everywhere whenever they were outside when he thought Craig wasn't looking. He drank at least four more cups of coffee than he usually does. He only drank more when he was severely stressed.
"What's up, Craig?" Token asked at the lunch table, eating some middle class luxury food. Clyde was sitting next to him, drinking apple juice. "Where's Tweek?"
"I'll like to know that too," Craig said, flipping his black friend off with no malice. "He's been gone for five minutes already. Something's wrong, but he won't tell me."
"You ask him?" Clyde asked, looking at the cafeteria door.
"Every time. He won't tell me anything."
"Why don't you just follow him?"
Craig frowned, thinking he was so fucking stupid because he didn't actually think of that at all. Flipping his friends off, Craig walked out of the cafeteria with the quest to find his boyfriend. He traveled through empty hallways for it was lunchtime, which was also recess so almost everyone was outside playing and not cooped up inside for an hour. He traveled through many empty hallways, taking a look through every class to find them all deserted. Last place to check was the bathrooms.
He couldn't find Tweek.
Craig held his hands tightly in fists, trying not to get frustrated about being really worried right now. He turned back to the cafeteria, thinking that maybe his boyfriend would already be there, eating lunch with Clyde and Token. That was until someone was shoved out of the girl's bathroom only a foot in front of him. He found Tweek fallen on the floor, pressing on the knee he landed on and trying not to cry by biting his bottom lip.
"Tweekers!" Craig shouted, kneeling down to Tweek and checking on the bruised knee. It was going to be okay, but what about Tweek? "What happened? Why were you in there?"
"C-craig?" Tweek said, voice cracking. "JESUS CHRIST! Wh-what are you -NGH- do-doing here?"
"Looking for you. Tell me what's going on. Is someone picking on you? Is it why you've been more paranoid than usual? Tell me, Tweekers."
Tweek looked at him, looking small. "A-a six-sixth -GAH- gr-grader's wa-wants to date you!" he started, eyes getting really watery. "Sh-she's tr-trying -NGH- make me dum-dump y-y-you! I-i-it's so much p-p-p-p-p-pressure!"
Craig immediately shot up and raged towards the bathroom door, but he fell because Tweek managed to grab him by the end of his sweater. "What the hell, Tweekers?" Craig demanded, getting up on all fours and looking angrily at Tweek. The bell rang, telling that lunchtime was over.
"Yo-you -ngh- ca-can't," Tweek answered, getting up uneasy on his own. "Yo-you'll ge-get in trouble! Gah! W-w-we ha-have to go t-t-ngh-to class. P-p-p-pressure!"
Craig growled, getting up too as students came through the hallways to get to class. "Why didn't you tell?" he asked, frowning and sounding a little angry.
"I c-can't tell y-you! Gah!"
Craig growled again and began stomping his way back to class, not taking one look behind him. Tweek quickly followed, twitching and spazzing worryingly.
They were the first to get to class, leaving the class empty save for them and Mr. Garrison who didn't give a damn about their business. "C-craig?" Tweek squeaked in a high pitched voice.
"Why didn't you tell?" Criag heard himself ask. He could even how not monotone he was. His words were hard and cold, like his stare at nothing. He was looking straight ahead to the board, refusing to look at Tweek because he was really angry at him. Craig was angry because his own boyfriend refused to tell him anything. He just couldn't tell if he was angry at Tweek for not saying anything in the first or if he was angry at himself to not have done something a long time ago.
As their classmates came in, Craig thought that he could save it for after school so that he and Tweek could deal with this together, but the very thought of Tweek being hurt pissed him off so much that he couldn't help but be fucking angry. "Why did you tell me?" Craig asked lowly, turning his head to Tweek right next time. Tweek looked away and refused to say anything.
"Why didn't you tell me?!" Craig shouted this time, jumping out of his chair. The entire class looked back, everyone already in their seats. They were confused as to why Craig looked anything but straight - faced. Some of them were frightened that they could see angry on his face.
Tweek didn't answer again, twitching intensely now. Craig growled and pulled Tweek off his seat, and he began to shake the spaz by the shoulders while demanding to know, "Why didn't you tell me?!"
"Craig Tucker!" Mr. Garrison yelled. "Stop picking on the weird kid and sit your ass down."
But Craig didn't listen, continuing to shake Tweek and demanding to know why. "Why did't you tell me?!" he kept shouting, repeating it multiple times. "Was it because you don't trust me?!"
"It'sbecauseIcouldn'ttrustthatyouwouldn'tgetintoafight!" Tweek finally answered, shouting back with bloodshot eyes. He said it so fast that only a few people understood him, and Craig did.
He stopped shaking Tweek, and the whole room was completely silent except for Tweek sniffling, trying not to cry. "What the fuck does that mean?" Craig said, letting go of Tweek. He snarled, turning back to pick up his backpack and began to walk out of the class. No one tried to stop him. At the entrance, he turned around to Tweek who was still on the ground and flipped the boy off with a glare. "Fine. Deal with it yourself then. Don't even think of crawling back to me, spaz."
Craig walked out.
Butters and Kenny were really scared because Tweek was crying but he was crying without making any sounds, crying huge tears as he desperately attempt to not make a sound. His eyes was bloodshot, very much so it was like his eyes were bleeding internally. His attempt not to make a sound was worse, though, because Tweek had his hands tight in his hair, digging his nails into his scalp, and biting his lips harshly. After a while, his teeth managed to penetrate the top layer, and blood started dripping down his chin. He was shaking so much, he was like a vibrator. Once in a while, he open his mouth and take a huge breath only to close it by biting his lips again. They were really scared, but they were sure Tweek was terrified beyond imagination because they were sure this was the first time Tweek cried so hard.
After Craig walked out of class, almost like he was walking out of Tweek's life, Tweek clumsily got up and sat on his seat, and Kenny could see that he started to bite his lips then. Mr. Garrison continued teaching, not caring at all, and for the rest of day, Kenny kept looking back to see if Tweek was okay. Tweek ignored the stares from Kenny and everyone else, not saying a thing as he bit his lips really hard. Kenny was sure that Tweek was going to bit his lips off.
When the bell rang, everyone left Tweek alone, thinking he needed some time alone and because they didn't know how to deal with him, but Kenny knew that it wasn't a good idea to leave him alone like that. Kenny decided to take Tweek to Stark's Pond, where there weren't a lot of people. Butters came too, being one of Tweek's friends and he actually cared about other people.
Now, he and Butters were sitting on the only bench there with Tweek in fetal position, head on knee, crying his eyes and bleeding his lips out. Neither said anything to the panicky blond, but when the sun started setting, they got really worried because Tweek was still crying, showing no sign of stopping.
"Uhm, Tweek," Butters tried in a soft voice, not wanting to freak Tweek out. "Do you want to talk about it? Why don't you tell us what happened? We can help. We're your friends, right? We'll listen to you."
Tweek didn't answer, still shaking. Kenny's words were muffled, but he said something in the lines of, "What are you thinking right now, Tweek?"
There was silence for a very long time, but Tweek spoke this time, answering Kenny's question. "I-I-I ho-hope -ngh- that th-the gno-gno-gnomes take me!" he said loudly, voice wet with tears. Butters and Kenny gave each other a look. There was no way that Tweek, who was always scared of his underwear gnomes, would ever want to be taken by them. How the fuck can they fix this? "H-he -gah- hates m-m-m-me now. I-I-I ru-ruined -Jesus Christ- everything! No-no-no one wi-will -gah- li-like m-m-m-m-me every again! Oh, n-n-no! I-I-I'm go-gonna die -NGH- alone! TH-THIS IS TOO MUCH PRESSURE!"
"Now that's not true," Butter assured. "I like you. And so does Kenny!"
"That's right," Kenny added.
"B-but no -gah- one wi-will like m-me like h-he did!" Tweek argued, beginning to pour his heart in silent sobs.
He told Butters and Kenny about how Craig confessed to him after replacing Kenny for a while and that he only said yes because Tweek was certain that this was a one in a lifetime opportunity for a fucking paranoid spaz who was addicted coffee and twitched all the time like there was no tomorrow, someone who freaked out about underwear gnomes that no one believed existed. He was a fucking mess in his eyes. He couldn't button his own shirt correctly because his hands were always trembling in mini - earthquakes. He can't do anything even okay enough. He had no talent except making coffee. He wasn't handsome or average looking but an ugly rat with large, black bags under his eyes from the lack of sleep and a bird's nest of blond hair that had not been taken cared of for a very long time.
Tweek told them about how dating Craig was so awesome because Craig really cared and liked him despite him being a spastic all the god damn time. Craig was so cool and such a bad ass that could get any one he wanted but chose a weirdo like Tweek for being Tweek. No one liked oddies for being odd. Craig could do anything, from sports to academics if he cared enough to try. Craig was the only one that made him feel safe and happy to wake up in the morning. Craig had a family that cared for him, like his mom who beat the shit out of his dad for punching him and calling him a fag. His dad even got over it. Craig was one of the most well-known kid in school and was well - respected and could do so much better than Tweek. Maybe it was a good thing that they weren't together anymore because that meant that he wouldn't hold Craig down anymore because Craig deserved better.
Tweek told them how he was so sorry and that he felt guilty for hurting Craig. He told them that he hoped that Craig will be happy and be with someone really good and marry them and have kids and died old with a happy family. He told them that he felt like a really cold cup of hot black coffee, no sugar and no milk. He also told them that he always believed that he was alone and that he would die alone now that Craig dumped his ass. He told them that no one would ever love him besides his parents, but they would die soon because they're old and he'd be alone forever. He told them that he was going to die alone on a hospital bed in an old people home with no one in the room and be buried in an unmarked grave with no funeral because no one would come because no one would care if he died or not. He told them that he hoped that he died before his parents did because then he would have at least two people at his funeral, even if they wouldn't care all that much.
At the end of all that, the sky was already dark and the stars were bright in the sky in the small town. It was silent, almost deafening, save for the sounds of Tweek falling over to the side, exhausted from not crying. He was at the point of passing out, his face and neck as read as his eyes, but his eyes were still open, wet with tears falling off his face. His lips had punctured teeth marks all over, and he was panting hard like he just ran continuously around the pond since school ended. He stopped shaking, fortunately, but he was really still.
Butters and Kenny didn't know what to do, taking in everything they just heard with heavy hearts. Tweek really thought everything out, didn't he? However, they knew they couldn't do anything because they weren't the ones that Tweek wanted to help him. He wanted Craig, but Craig wasn't there at the moment so they had to make the best out of the situation.
Having to go home, Butters helped by placing Tweek on Kenny's back, and they started to walk to Tweek's house to put him in bed and let him sleep it off for the day. When they arrived, Mrs. Tweak answered the door, letting Kenny and Butters in without question, and they brought Tweek upstairs to his room. He was motionless and wordless the entire time. Butters was really hesitant to leave, but Kenny said he had to because his parents were going to ground him again. Kenny said that would come by in the morning to check on Tweek.
Before leaving, Butters told Mrs. Tweak that Tweek wasn't feeling well and can't come to school tomorrow. She nodded without a question, going back to her business while Mr. Tweak was reading his newspaper. Kenny closed the door behind him, both he and Butters walking home.
"Oh, boy," Butters said sadly, frowning instead of smiling like he always did, "Tweek really likes Craig. He's so broken up about it. Do you think he'll be okay?"
"I don't know," Kenny said, muffled by his orange parka. "If he gets over this, then I think one day he will but it won't be for a long time. Honestly, I'd like it better if they got back together, but it doesn't look like that'll happen."
"What can we do to fix it? I want to help to. Even though Craig can sometimes be an asshole, he's still one of my friends and everyone is kind of an asshole anyway."
"Me too. We'll see if we can get anything else from Tweek tomorrow after school."
"Oh, boy!" Butters said, this time with a smile. "I can't wait!"
But Tweek wouldn't talk. He wouldn't talk for two months, actually.
He was so pissed off. He had never been so pissed off before, even when he was taken by the government and sent to Peru on a suicide mission and lost the hundred dollars his grandmother gave him for his birthday. He just couldn't tell whether he was pissed off at Tweek or himself.
Honestly, when he stormed out of the classroom, he didn't know what he was thinking because he was just so mad. What did that mean that Tweek couldn't trust him to not get into a fight? What fuck did that mean? Did that mean Tweek didn't trust him at all after everything he had done for the spaz? Did that mean Tweek expected him to always get into a fight? Yeah, sure, Craig knew he got into fights a lot, but why the fuck was Tweek worried about it now? He fought fucking fifth graders for the blond before and won.
He ran home after ditching class, slamming the door closed with all his might when he got there. He sat down the couch with anger and started flipping everything off because that was one he expressed anger when he had no other choice. His mom would kill him if Craig broke anything no matter the reason. He spent an hour and a half flipping things off in his living room.
When school had ended, his mom and sister came home, not minding him at all but a little curious to why Tweek wasn't there. If Craig was home before school ended, it meant he wasn't feeling well and Tweek would always be there too because he was always worried about him. Token and Clyde came over soon after, not asking Craig anything. They just sat down on the couch next to him, not saying a thing and looking at nothing. It made Craig feel slightly better but not really.
His best friends left when the sun was setting. That was the only time any of them said anything the entire time. "Just think everything over," Token said at the door. "Don't leave him. He's good for you."
Craig flipped him off before the door closed, saying nothing in response. Then he went upstairs and went to bed, telling his mom that he was skipping dinner. He slept until his mom woke him up for school the next morning, and he walked the whole way to school with an expressionless face.
At school, everyone avoided Craig except for Token and Clyde, but they didn't even try to talk to him because even though Craig's face was of complete indifference, they knew he was just one move from exploding. In class, no one dared to look back, and no one sat to his right. Tweek wasn't in school that day. He wasn't in school for the rest of the week either.
The next Monday, Mr. Garrison announced that Tweek wasn't going to come to school for a while because of personal problems and it wasn't certain when he would return. "Is there anyone who would give Tweek the homework assignments every day?" Mr. Garrison asked, looking for volunteers. He looked to Craig first. "What about you, Craig?"
"No," was Craig's only answer in monotone. The class became very tense. Then Kenny raised his hands, offering to do it. And class continued on.
It continued on like before but without Tweek and Craig going back to what he used to be, blank and expressionless. The news of his break - up spread like wildfire and girls started to line up to ask him only to be rejected, every one of them. However, there was one sixth grader who asked every day, Luna Jace. She kept asking him out for two weeks before Craig broke, saying yes to shut every other girl up now that he had a girlfriend. And she wasn't that bad. She was really pretty, but she was so fucking annoying.
Token and Clyde didn't like her much from the very start, but Craig didn't either. He hated her actually, but that was okay because that was how she liked him. She was clingy and spoke with an arrogant attitude, like she was better than everyone else. Her followers were enough to feed her ego. She trash talked all his friends, from Clyde to Butters to Cartman. They, in response, ignored her with a glare and walked away whenever she showed up. Craig said he was going to dump her soon but never did because even though he had no reason to stay, he had no reason to leave. It was being the shittest two month in his life, and Tweek still hadn't returned to school yet.
One day, his friends seemed to have enough and decided it was time to talk. So they kidnapped him one day after school before that girlfriend of his could go to him. Token was the one that brought him to the Williams' home, and Butters and Kenny were there. And Eric Cartman too, even though Craig knew that Cartman hated him.
"Craig," Token said, forcing his friend to sit down on the couch. "You need to dump that bitch you call your girlfriend right now and go see Tweek."
"No," Craig said and only that.
"C'mon, Craig," Clyde said, disapproving. "Could you at least just dump that Luna girl then? It'll make our lives a lot better, you know. Everyone is scared because they think you're a ticking time bomb. Someone is seriously going to get hurt, Craig, and you're going to get in so much trouble. Your parents will ground you for life."
"I don't care," Craig said, looking at nothing.
"For fuck sake's, Craig," Token said, frustrated. His eyebrows are narrowed down, showing that he was getting sick and tired of Craig's nonchalant responses. Craig just flipped him off, which was his way of speaking these days. He had one of those for everyone for no reason all the time. It used to be every once in a while to those who don't bother him, but now it was his sign to express something to everything. "Don't you know what's happening to Tweek?"
"Why do I care?"
"Because he's been looking pretty bad these days," Kenny answered, pointing heatedly. He would've been spitting everywhere if it wasn't for his parka muffling his words. "He doesn't sleep. He doesn't talk. He doesn't do anything anymore. He isn't even paranoid about the fucking underwear gnomes anymore. He stopped twitching like normal and barely eats. All he does is cry quietly and drink a lot of coffee."
"Yeah," Butters said, looking like he was going to cry at any moment. "Craig, you got to do something! I really think he's going to hurt himself. He's really sad!"
"I don't care," was Craig's answer, getting off the couch. He was going to punch his way out if he had to. He didn't need this.
"Cartman, do something!" Kenny shouted, punching the fat boy who had been rolling his eyes the whole time while mumbling insults.
"Ow, what the fuck, Kenny!" Cartman shouted, jumping onto his feet.
"If you don't stop him, I won't give you back your cat!"
"Fine! For fuck's sake, you poor piece of shit," Cartman said with an angry look. "Craig, get the fuck back here! Kenny stole my cat and he's going to eat it if I don't fucking help. I'll kill you before that happens."
"Why should I care?" Craig asked, hand at the door knob.
"I got someone with some information about what happened before Tweek stopped coming to school, that's why!"
Craig turned around. "What you got, Cartman?" he breathed with clenched teeth.
Cartman smirked and went to the closet in Token's living room, pulling out a bounded sixth grader by the hair. She was one of Luna's followers, and she was struggling with the rope tied around her wrists and ankles and the duct tape over her mouth. "What the hell, Cartman!" Token shouted. "You tied a girl up in my house?! I'm going to get in so much trouble if anyone finds out!"
"Shut up, Token," Cartman scoffed, pointing at her. "She's the fucking information, okay? It was necessary. She was there and knows everything. Now I don't know how loyal she is to that bitch, so I will need a knife and some lemon juice. Go get me some and I'll interrogate her for you."
The sixth grader started thrashing, trying to get away, but Cartman had a tight grip on her and kicked her once for good measure. She started shouted against the duct tape, hoping that they would get it off of her. "I'll talk!" she screamed. Luckily for her, being friends with Kenny gave everyone the skills to understand muffled talk, and Craig ripped the duct tape off. The sixth grader screamed from the raw pain.
"What the fuck happened?" Craig said, grabbing her by the chin harshly. He had an intense glare, scaring the sixth grade.
"Craig," Token said, taking his friend's hand off of her. Token took over to Cartman's disappointment. "What's your name?" the black boy asked the sixth grader.
"Rebecca," the girl answered.
"Are you one of Luna's followers?"
"Yes! Yes! I was demoted to Follower Z two month ago!"
"Get to the fucking point," Craig warned from above. Follower Z shrieked because he stomped on her legs.
"Craig!" Token shouted. Clyde and Kenny held him back from hurting the girl anymore. Token returned to Follower Z. "Okay, tell us everything you know before he throws them off and kills you."
Follower Z whimpered in distress. "Luna started bullying the spastic kid right after everyone found out that he was Craig's boyfriend!" she shouted, spewing everything as fast as she can. "She told the spaz to break up with Craig so she could get with him, but the kid refused even though Luna threaten to kill him. But he kept refusing until Craig broke up with him! That's why she's your girlfriend now because you were single and dangerous, just the way she likes her boyfriends! Don't kill me!"
Follower Z started crying, begging to be let go. Everyone else looked to Craig, who was still being held back by Clyde and Kenny. There was silence from him, but Craig was so fucking pissed, so very fucking pissed off. "That fucking whore!" he shouted, struggling against the two holding him. "I'm going to fucking kill her! I will fucking kill her for hurting him! I will fucking kill her!"
"Craig, calm down!" Clyde shouted, having a hard time against his friend. "Cartman, get your fat ass over here!"
"I'm not fat, Clyde!" Cartman yelled. "I'm big boned."
"Shut the fuck up and sit on Craig until he calms down!" Kenny yelled back, which Cartman smiled to and ran quickly over, jumping onto Craig. Cartman shifted until he was comfortable on Craig's back, and Craig couldn't do anything but throw a temper because Cartman was just so fucking fat. Fucking Kenny.
"So what's going to happen?" Butters asked.
"I'm going to kill that bitch, that's what!" Craig shouted, angry.
"I don't know, man," Cartman said from above, laughing. "That Luna chick seems to be very dangerous. She's a jelly girl, remember? And jelly girls are fucking crazy."
"Find out more from the girl," Kenny suggested.
"Hey, stop crying," Token said to the girl who was still crying. "Can you tell us anything about Luna?"
"She's a werewolf!" Follower Z answered without a second to think.
"What?"
Cartman burst out laughing like a maniac. "Ha!" he shouted with glee. "I told you girls are werewolves!"
"That's not true," Kenny said, crossing his arms. "What proof is there?"
"Her name means 'Moon Moon'!" Follower Z said. There was a silence because no one else understood the reference. "Are you serious?" she asked in disbelief. "Don't you guys read Harry Potter?"
"That shit is for nerds and geeks," Cartman scoffed. "We play Lord of the Rings, what every cool kid plays. No one likes that magic bullshit."
"You're wrong! J.K. Rowling is a much better author than Tolkien! Harry Potter is cooler than Lord of the Rings will ever be!"
"Hey! Don't you dare diss Lord of the Rings, you feces eating bitch! I'll kill you!"
"Cartman, shut up!" Clyde interrupted. "Why does her name even matter anyway?"
"Because in Harry Potter, there's a character whose name also means 'Moon Moon', Remus Lupin, the Defense Against the Dark Arts professor during Harry's third year!"
"So?" Cartman scoffed again, rolling his eyes.
"He's a werewolf!"
"Ooooooooooooooh," everyone said, getting what Follower Z was saying. Then Cartman said, "That's fucking stupid. Why the hell would anyone name a character 'Moon Moon'?"
"Like LotR is any better," Follower Z argued. "Doesn't Legolas mean 'Green Leaf'?"
Cartman rolled his eyes dramatically before jumping off Craig and kicking the girl in the face. She passed out from the impact. "God," he said, kicking her in the face again, "shut the fuck up."
"Craig!" Butters shouted. "Where are you going?"
Craig had already gotten up and walking out the door. "To kill a bitch," he answered, walking with hands clutched. Kenny stopped him.
"You can't do it by yourself," Kenny said. "She's a werewolf! She'll kill you!"
"I don't fucking care! Just leave me alone already!"
"No way, Craig," Clyde said. "You're our friend, and so is Tweek. She hurt the both of you, so I'm mad too. Let me help at least."
"Yeah," Token and Butters said.
Craig sighed angrily. "Fucking fine," he said, flipping both of them off.
"Cool," Cartman said, dragging an unconscious Follower Z with her mouth duct taped again out the door, to get rid of evidence against him. His job was done and Kenny had to give back his cat. "Now give me back Mr. Kitty, Kenny!"
"Help us," Kenny said, shaking his head, "and then I'll give it back to you."
Cartman screamed in frustration but had to obey. There was no way he will ever let Mr. Kitty die from being eaten by a poor kid, no way.
On Wednesday morning, they had a plan, and they executed it well when class started, ditching Mr. Garrison's class for a while.
"Excuse me," Butters said, peeking into Mrs. Greene's sixth grade class, looking scared and timid, "can someone help? There's a fight going on outside, and they're beating each other pretty bad out there!"
"Oh, no!" Mrs. Greene said. Being as one of the rare nice teachers in the whole school, she ran out quickly, following Butters as he took her out on a wild goose chase around the school. Token and Clyde were waiting nearby in order to make the lie more solid by shouting around the corners and hiding and doing it again for as long as they could.
With the teacher gone, Craig walked in along with Kenny and Cartman. The latter closed the door and locked it. Craig was carrying a metal bat, and Kenny was holding a box. The entire sixth grade class watched them, wondering what the fuck was going on.
"Craigy - poo!" Luna shouted, running up to hug the monotone boy, who didn't respond to her at all but still holding the bat. She had the prettiest smile. "Did you come to see me? Did you miss me? I bet you missed me! Everyone would miss me if I was their girlfriend! You're lucky that I'm your girlfriend now!"
Then she just started to talk and talk and talk and talk and talk and talk, and it never seemed to stop. "So I was like she's such a bitch!" she said, rolling her eyes in such an annoying way. Then she stopped, finally seeing what Craig was holding. "What the fuck is that?"
"You shutting the fuck up, you fucking bitch whore," Craig said before swing that bat right at her head. It hit, and she flew against the teacher's desk.
"What the fuck is wrong with you?!" she screamed, getting up. "I'll fucking kill you!"
She growled, and then she started transforming. Seriously, and it was fucking gross to watch. Her pretty pink lips and perky nose changed into a large, ugly snout. Her hair grew long, growing to cover her entire back side. Her limbs began to shift from a human's stance to one of a four legged creature. Her white teeth became yellow and long like a dog's. Her green eyes became circular and glowed red like a creepy ass monster under your bed. Everyone is class screamed, freaking the hell out because one, there was a werewolf in the class; two, said werewolf was creepy as fuck; and three, there was a werewolf in the class.
At once, the werewolf charged at Craig, teeth bared out for the kill, but Craig, being a bad ass and everything, wasn't afraid because even if he was afraid, he was fucking pissed. His anger out weighted any fear for werewolves and girls. Instantly, Craig hit the werewolf right at its snout, knocking it to the floor. It did more damage than any regular metal bat because it was a silver bat. They had to ask the Vamp kids, and no one had no idea how Cartman got it.
Before the werewolf could get up, Craig just started beating it with a blank face, not stopping at all. At first, Kenny and Cartman were cheering him on, but he just kept on hitting the werewolf. Craig was starting to scare the shit out of them and the entire sixth grade class who dared not to make a sound in fear of being the next target. At one point, Craig threw the bat away and just started stomping at the werewolf with no mercy.
Honestly, no one thought that Craig was going to stop on his own, but no one was going to try. So he didn't stop all until Token came over to tell them they couldn't distract Mrs. Greene any longer and she was coming back. "Craig," Token quickly said, "come on. We're going to get in so much trouble if we get caught. Come on."
Craig stopped then, picking up the silver bat. Then he snatched the box from Kenny's hands and poured the contents over Luna's body. She wasn't dead, but she was getting there. Craig banged the silver bat against the teacher's desk, flipping all the sixth graders off. "Tell anyone what happened," he warned, "you're next."
The entire sixth grade class nervously shook their heads, holding back cries of horror. Craig walked out, shoving the box and bat to Kenny. The boys left a huge mess of crying sixth graders who were now scarred for life and a bloody body of a werewolf that was half way to shifting back to human covered with jelly all over her.
The boys met Butters and Clyde in front of Mr. Garrison's class. "Thanks, you guys," Craig said, really meaning it even though his face didn't show.
"No problem," Clyde said.
"We better get to class right now," Butters said. "My parents are going to ground me."
"Nah," Craig said, walking away with a bird to them all. "I need to do something first."
"Alright, see you," Token said.
"I expect to see both of you doing better," Kenny said. The bat and box was ditched in a giant wooden box where Cartman dumped Follower Z. In two days, the box was going to be closed and shipped to New Zealand to be buried in one of the settings used for the the LotR trilogy films. Cartman had the last laugh.
On the way to Tweek's house, Craig was thinking how much of a mess he was right now. There was blood all over his sweater and sweat on his face. He just brutally assaulted a werewolf six grader in front of her entire class, traumatizing more than thirty people all at once, and will probably be called the most dangerous kid in the whole school by this afternoon. Unsurprisingly, he didn't care. Craig was just hoping that Tweek would at least forgive him for getting angry so easily.
At the door, Craig knew that Mr. and Mrs. Tweak weren't at home because there were no cars parked in the driveway. He rang the doorbell.
There was no answer.
He rang it again.
Again, no answer.
Then he knocked.
No answer.
He knocked again.
No answer.
He knocked again but continued to bang on the door, kicking it as well. He banged and kicked the door pretty hard, but he didn't mind it. He needed to get in. He kept going for several minutes. Then he heard the locks on the doors open.
The person who opened the door was like the ghost of what he used to be, Tweek.
In the past two month, Tweek had become thin, very thin that Craig could see his cheekbones. His eyes were red and puffy with tear stains on his cheeks. The bags underneath his eyes were darker than ever before. His hair was so messy and had bald patches from handful of hairs being pulled on constantly. His lips were beyond bruised with specks of dried up blood and bite wounds. He smelled too, being in the same clothes for at least three days now. He looked really cold with a pale, unhealthy complexion in his skin. He looked very tired, being barely able to stand on his own two feet that Craig thought it should be impossible to walk downstairs. Tweek looked almost dead.
But when Tweek realized who was standing in front of him, his bloodshot eyes widened with hints of fear and shoved the door closed. Craig quickly stopped the door from cutting him off from Tweek. "Do-don't -GAH- kill me!" Tweek screamed, pushing with all his might to close the fucking door. "I-I-I'm sorry! Aaaaaaaaah! Don'tkillme!"
"Tweek!" Craig yelled, able to push the door open. "Listen to me!"
Tweek feel on the ground from the lack of balance. He started to crawl away, crying as he tried to get away. Craig stopped him from getting up the stairs by getting a hold onto Tweek's hand. Tweek's reaction to him was like a cornered animal because Tweek started to curl up and desperately pulling his arms away, but he was too weak to do anything. "D-don't ki-ki-kill me!" Tweek begged, hiding his face away. "JESUS CHRIST! I-I-I'm so-sorry! Don'tkillme! I'msorry!"
Tweek kept repeating the last two sentences over and over again, pleading for Craig to go away, but Craig didn't because he knew he couldn't. Craig didn't because he didn't want to. "Tweek," Craig tried, saying the blond's name softly but received no response from the cornered fourth grader. "Tweek. Tweekers."
Tweek whimpered as he stopped repeating his sentences, but he did not uncurl himself from his ball. "Tweekers," Craig said softly. "It's okay. I'm not going to hurt you, I swear. I'll never hurt you again, Tweekers. It was my fault for getting angry with you without understanding anything first. I'm sorry, Tweekers. Please, talk to me. I'll make everything better, I promise. Please? Talk to me? Just this once is good enough. After, if you want me to leave, I'll never bother you again, okay? Please, Tweekers? Just talk to me?"
Tweek whimpered again, letting his arm hang from Craig's hold. Then he lifted his head up slightly, tears still running down his eyes. Craig never felt guiltier. "Y-y-you won't -gah- ki-kill m-m-m-me?" he asked quietly.
"No," Craig answered, placing Tweek's hand down and putting his gently on top. He got closer to Tweek, sitting right in front of him. "Never. How have you been, Tweekers? Kenny said you haven't been sleeping or eating?"
"I-I-I don't -gah- f-f-f-feel like it," Tweek answered quietly, huddling himself tighter. "Co-coffee's go-go-go-good enough for m-m-m-me."
"But it's not good if you only drink coffee and nothing else." Craig noticed how hoarse Tweek's voice was, probably from not talking and all those hot coffees he drank in the past two month. "Tweekers, I want to tell you I'm sorry. I'm sorry I hurt you like that. I'm sorry for being so mean to you. Could you forgive me for being such a dick and doing nothing for two month?"
"I-it's n-ngh-not your f-f-f-f-f-fault," Tweek whispered so lowly that Craig almost missed it. "I-I-I'm sorry fo-for -gah- not telling you in th-the fi-ngh-first pl-pl-place. The p-p-p-p-p-presssure."
"No, Tweekers. It's my fault for hurting you and shouting at you for no reason. I scared you a lot and everything and you didn't get mad at me at all. Kenny told me everything you told him and Butters. Tweekers, everything you said was complete bullshit, you know, because you're not going to die alone. I'm not going to get married and have children and die with a happy family unless I'm marrying you. I hope that you never die before your parents, and if you do, though I doubt it, I'll attend your funeral and I'll visit your grave every day until I die too. If I have to, I'll bury myself alive to make sure you're not alone. And no gnomes are going to get you either, even if you want them to. I won't let them do that to you."
Tweek slowly lifted his head and looked at Craig, eyes still red but no longer tearing up. "Re-really, -ngh?" he asked.
"Yeah," Craig said instantly with a small smile.
Tweek got out of his ball and threw himself at Craig, who caught him in his arms. He was really skinny, but he was still warm, Craig thought, hugging Tweek tightly in response as the blond started sobbing loudly into his shoulder. Craig felt so relieved. He felt soooooooo happy right now. He felt himself cry too, just as loud as Tweek, laughing at the same time as they kept their embrace for a very long time. They had the next five hours to themselves.
Craig wasn't sure how long they stayed like that on the floor right next to the stairs, crying their hearts out in relief and joy, but when they were done, they were both exhausted, Tweek more because he hadn't been sleeping at all for the last two month. Craig told Tweek to take a bath as he helped the other boy up the stairs to the bathroom. He quickly got a change of clothes and let Tweek take his time while going back downstairs to look for something for Tweek to eat minus any coffee.
Going back upstairs with a sandwich he just made in the kitchen, Craig found Tweek cleaned up and sitting on the bed, twitching and biting his lips but just lightly. Craig pulled Tweek's bottom lip from the teeth with his thumb. "Stop biting your lips," he said, giving Tweek the plate. "If you want to eat something, eat this. I'm going to take a shower and be back. Eat, okay?"
Tweek nodded, picking up the sandwich carefully. He was twitching slightly. "Th-thank -gah- you," he said softly, taking a small bite. Craig had to smile because Tweek was being sooooooo adorable with his hair slightly wet but mostly dry and fluffed up with a towel. Tweek looked much healthier already. Craig took off his hat and placed it securely on Tweek's blond hair, placing a kiss on the boy's forehead.
Tweek looked up with a nervous but genuine smile.
When Craig got back, washed and changed into clean clothes he took from Tweek's dresser, Tweek had finished the sandwich and was playing with the blue hat on his head, covering his eyes with it and messing with the ends of the ear flaps. Craig got on the bed next to him. "Let's go to sleep, Tweekers," Craig said, liking what he saw, but Tweek needed some sleep.
Tweek nodded, lying down with Craig on the bed. "A-are w-we back -gah- toge-together?" he asked, twitching nervously.
"Yeah," Craig nodded, putting his arm around Tweek's neck. "Forever."
Tweek smiled, laughing a bit. "Ye-yeah, fo-fo-forever."
The two boys fell asleep, exhausted from the last two months of emotional and physical turmoil. They thought nothing of the promise they barely made beforehand, but they didn't have to because they actually kept that promise despite being only in the fourth grade at the time.
Two days later with the absence of Craig, Tweek came back to school to the relief of everyone in class and school, looking so much healthier and so much happier. All his friends and classmates came up to him to tell him that they were glad he was back and that they missed him, even his random spazing. Tweek crookedly smiled his thanks every time, mumbling that appreciated it.
During lunch, Tweek took it upon himself to give hugs of thanks to Clyde, Token, Kenny, Butters, and even Cartman, to the fatass's discomfort.
"Th-th-ngh-thanks, you gu-guys!" Tweek said, twitching.
"No problem, Tweek," Token said with a smile. "We were happy to do it."
"Just come to one of us if you need any help with anything, especially if it's 'bout Craig," Clyde said. "I'll do anything to make sure he doesn't get like that again. Man, it was tiring to tiptoe around him."
"That tells you how much Craig was upset," Butters said like it was a good thing. He laughed. "You two are so cute together. Don't you think, Kenny?"
"Not as much as you," Kenny said, muffling as he placed an arm around Butters. Cartman groaned, looking somewhat disgusted. Clyde and Token looked at them blankly, thinking about how much closer the two had been since Tweek stopped coming to school.
"Oh, shucks," Butters said happily, oblivious to what everyone else was thinking. "Thanks, Kenny! That's real nice of you to say so."
"Dude, weak," Cartman said to Kenny. "I'm not fucking helping if you're having fag problems too, you bastard. And don't think of taking Mr. Kitty again. She's not yours to eat, Kenny!"
"Screw you, fatass," Kenny said, rolling his eyes at Cartman.
"I'm not fat!"
So after the incident that was dubbed the Basher of the Jelly Werewolf, everything went back to normal, except the class of sixth graders that ran away from Craig every time they saw even a hint of his blue chullo hat. In the grapevine from South Park to North Park, from fourth grade to high school, everyone caught wind of the incident.
Luckily, word about Craig himself was disfigured the further from South Park Elementary it got to the point that everybody thought it was a hunter who killed a werewolf for the protection of the entire town, and Craig became a hero except he had no name and no distinguishable feature save for a blue chullo hat. Everyone would have worn one then if there wasn't also word that the werewolf's clan was angry and were on the lookout for the hunter with the desire for revenge.
That was until Mr. Garrison's fourth grade class became the new batch of freshmen of Park Country High School (the only high school in Park County) years later, and one of them walked in the entrance on the first day of school by himself wearing the legendary blue chullo upon his head, twitching nervously from all the stares on him. "Jesus Christ!" he yelled to himself, hiding his face behind his backpack and looking around nervously for his friends.
For ten entire minutes, Tweek stood by the entrance of the school, twitching nervously as he tried to keep quiet, and everyone else who came walking in entered the school with wide, frightened eyes and ran away as quickly as possible, mumbling, "Blue!" Tweek, of course, had no idea what they were talking about but didn't think too much on it. "Th-th-the gnomes!" he muttered loudly. "May-maybe it's th-the -gah- gov-government! Th-th-this is too! Much! P-p-p-p-p-p-p-p-pressure! JESUS CHRIST!"
"What's too much pressure, Tweekers?" someone said from behind the panicking blond, wrapping his arms around the spaz. He was very warm.
"Gah! Craig!" Tweek shouted, turning around to see his blank - faced yet handsome boyfriend. Over the years, Craig, who was one of the tallest boys in the fourth grader, became the tallest out of everyone and he was still growing. Tweek felt really small and safe around him. "Yo-you for-forgot you hat at-at-at my ho-house yester-yesterday."
"I know," Craig said with a small smile and combed his fingers through his dark hair. "Why don't you give it back to me after school? You look adorable with it on, and it's really turning me on since it's my hat."
Tweek blushed. "Per-pervert!" he shouted, pouting as he tried to seriously glare at his boyfriend. "Yo-you wear it! Ever-everyone's -gah- looking at m-m-me weird!"
"Maybe it's because they think you're adorable too," Craig teased. Tweek blushed, heating up.
A scoff came in, interrupting them. "God damn it, you fags," Cartman said, still looking fat but taller and maybe even a little fit. He was walking and holding Wendy's hand. "It's the first day of school, and you're all being so gay right in front of the entire school. Get a fucking room."
"Shut up, Eric," Wendy said, pulling her boyfriend away. Cartman was a fucking ass, but he listened because it was Wendy, the only girl who had his respect and could kick his ass again if she wanted to anytime. And she had before, several times.
"Shut up, you ho," he said with no real malice. "See you fags, later."
The two left with a wave from Wendy. "I can't believe Wendy's dating that thing," Craig voiced out his opinion. "Cartman's totally not what I expected after she broke up with Marsh."
"W-well," Tweek said, "it w-was because Cart-Cartman ha-had a cru-crush on -ngh- h-her before an-and got rea-really nice wh-when St-stan brok-broke up wi-with her to be wi-with K-gah-Kyle."
"Ha. A better love story than Fifty Shades of Gray."
"I-I-I still ca-can't -ngh- believe yo-you read it."
"Hey, Token said he'd give me fifty bucks if I read all three books in one night. It was one of the most horrible things I've ever experience, but it was so worth it."
Tweek smiled, looking down at their hands. On their right index fingers was a pair of sterling silver rings that Craig bought with those fifty bucks for the both of them. It was for Tweek's fourteenth birthday present, and it made him really happy to the point that Tweek actually cried. It wasn't much of a secret with their friends, but no one but the two knew about the engraving on the inside.
"I think so too," Tweek said slowly, turning back around to kiss his boyfriend, to which Craig responded to with the same affection.
By that day after school, every students of Park County High School believed that Tweek Tweak, local spaz and coffee addict, was the legendary hunter of the Basher of the Jelly Werewolf incident and became an instant celebrity overnight, which freaked him out. All because he forgot to give Craig back his hat until the morning after. Craig, on the other hand, found this as hilarious and would flaunt that he was dating the so - called hunter whenever he could, saying, "My boyfriend's so cool. Don't you know? He's the legendary Basher hunter, duh!"
Despite his chagrin, Tweek was really happy because no matter what, they were together forever.