a/n - So this is basically a story of how things would be different if Jess had been at the vow renewal, the changed it would have made to the story line. Hope you like it, please review and let me know what you think.

Butterfly Effect

Chapter One- Crashing a vow renewal

Last time he'd been around Emily it hadn't gone well, last time he'd been around Rory it had been the worst day of his life, she'd rejected him and it had torn him apart in more ways than he was even willing to admit to himself, but that was a while ago now, and he was healing, or so he told himself, but every night he would dream of her face and the ache would feel as fresh as it was when he walked away from her dorm, he knew that when he saw her it would hurt, he knew he wouldn't be welcome here, after all Emily Gilmore had hated him before he'd broken her grand daughters heart, and now he was bursting into the reception of her vow renewal, but there was nothing else he could do, he was desperate and even though pretty much everyone in the place would be staring daggers at him the minute he walked through the doors, this couldn't wait. He'd gone to the diner in the desperate hope of finding Luke, but he'd been told hat Luke was here, and then after spending longer that he would have liked trying to get the location and directions from Lane, he hopped back in his car and drove as fast as he could, all the way cursing Luke for not knowing how to use his cell phone. He didn't pause as he reached the doors, just took a deep breath and walked in, already eyes of strangers were trailing him, because of course in his scruffy trousers, black shirt and leather jacket he looked out of place. His eyes scanned the crowd hoping to find Luke, but of course he was no where in sight, instead his eyes landed on a pair of bright blue ones that made his heart pump faster. Rory looked back at him with an almost unreadable expression on her face, she looked amazing in a suit which to Jess seemed an odd choice of outfit for a wedding, but his head was in too much chaos to give it a second thought, there was a blonde guy at Rory's side, who she'd been dancing with until she saw Jess and had frozen on the spot, now he leaned in and spoke to her but she didn't answer, instead she shook his hand from her arm and walked in Jess' direction. Jess pulled his eyes away and desperately looked for Luke, but she reached him and forced him to look at her.

'What are you doing here?' Rory snapped, anger laced in her voice, although there was also a detectable note of confusion and concern, her eyes travelled over him and she took in his scruffy appearance, the panic in his features and her voice softened. 'Jess?'

'I just need to find Luke, I'm sorry to burst in here, but it's really important.' Jess said, noticing Emily walking over, with a face of thunder. 'Jeez, I need to find Luke.' He said and moved away from Rory, but she followed quickly.

'Jess what's wrong?' Rory's voice was nervous now, she followed Jess out into a hall where Luke was standing with Lorelai, it was Lorelai who saw him first and her face instantly lost it's smile.

'What on earth are you doing here?' Lorelai asked crossing her arms across her chest, but Jess ignored her question and turned to Luke who was now facing him.

'Jess? What is it?' Luke asked knowing there must be something wrong for his nephew to willingly enter a building where Emily Gilmore was. Jess stood silently for a minute, unsure of how to answer this, he didn't want to face it himself and now he had to say it out loud. Rory stepped forward and put a hand on his arm.

'Jess?' Her voice broke as she said his name, she had never seen him like this before and knew there was something wrong, he looked at her and then his gaze fell on the blonde guy standing in the doorway with Richard, Emily and Christopher. He turned back to Luke with a pained look on his face.

'It's Liz and T.J, there was an accident at the fair they were working at, some old building collapsed and…' He shook his head, noticing that Rory's grip on his arm had tightened. He took a shaky breath and carried on, 'T.J's gone, and uh my mum…she's not waking up, they said on the phone that she's in a critical condition, she's in a hospital in New York.'

The faces around him turned to shock as he spoke, Luke's became grey and Lorelai held onto his arm to give him support, much like Rory was currently doing for Jess.

'We need to get to the hospital.' Luke said after letting the news sink in. 'The car is out back, come on.'

'Luke give me your keys.' Rory said running to keep up with them, Lorelai turned to her daughter as they reached the car.

'Hun, what are you doing? Go back inside, I need to go for Luke but you don't have to come.' Lorelai said quietly.

'Mum you and Luke have been drinking, and I don't think Jess should be driving, and besides I don't want to leave Jess.' She let the last part slip out without meaning to, avoiding her mum's questioning eye and the calls from Emily and Logan, she grabbed the keys and climbed into the drivers seat, Luke and Lorelai taking the seats in the back of the car and Jess climbing in numbly next to Rory.

'Jess I'm going to need you to give me directions, ok?' She looked over at him as she pulled out of the car park, he nodded silently and continued staring blindly ahead.

'She's going to be alright Jess.' Rory said once they were about half way there, he looked at her and thought back to when they'd first met and she'd ask him if she looked trustworthy, and somehow it made him feel better, she was trustworthy and having her here made him calm. Ten minutes later, after another long silence Rory spoke up again.

'Take the wheel.' Rory told Jess, he looked over at her in surprise.

'What?'

'Yeah I second that, what?' Lorelai asked from the back, 'Usually it's a good idea for the driver to keep their hands on the wheel at all times until the car is stationary.'

'Jess come on you did this to me once, I need to take my jacket off and so I am letting go in five seconds, five, four, three, two, one…' Rory replied, taking her hands from the wheel, Jess grabbed the wheel and smirked at her as she pulled the jacket off.

'What's with the suit anyway?' Jess asked trying to get his mind off of the hospital they were headed too.

'Oh, I was my grandfathers best man.' Rory replied casually, taking the wheel from him.

'Of course, why didn't I think of that one.' He smirked at her then silence once again took over the car as they all worried about what they would find at the hospital. Even with all this though, Lorelai's thoughts turned frequently to Rory and Jess, who kept sneaking glances at one another, she was trying to work out what had made Rory come along with them to the hospital, and hoped that it was just concern for a friend, hoped it was the reason of simply driving them their, because despite how Jess seemed to be acting now, he would always be the hoodlum who broke her daughters heart, and then came back asking her to run away with him, he was the bad boy that she wanted to protect her daughter from.

It wasn't much longer before they pulled into a space in the hospital, and the four of them were running towards the front desk asking for information. They were all directed to a waiting room, where they were told that Liz was in surgery and they would be told as soon as she was out. The four of them took seats, except Jess who was still standing and waited, Lorelai and Luke talking quietly

in one corner pacing, then leaning against the wall and looking out of the window over the New York skyline. After an hour Lorelai convinced Luke to go down to the cafeteria with her, but despite her greatest efforts Jess could not be moved, which meant that Rory also wouldn't budge from the waiting room. So once the older two had departed Rory stood up from her seat and walked over to where Jess was staring out over the dark city, lit up by bright lights. She hated seeing him like this, so lost and fragile. She put her hand on his arm and felt as he tensed up under her touch.

'Jess?' Rory whispered his name, leaning in closer so she could see his face. 'How are you doing?'

'I don't know.' Jess shrugged, her hand fell from his arm and he immediately felt the loss, he turned so he was facing her, his eyes locking with hers, there was nothing but concern in hers, though that shocked him, after the way they had parted last time, he had thought she would want nothing to do with him. Now she was here being kind, and she was concerned about him.

'Do you want to talk?' Rory asked, again she reached up and placed a hand on his arm, and he felt calmer, she had that control over him, she could calm him the way no one else could. When Jess didn't speak again she carried on. 'I know you don't like talking about how you feel, but I thought maybe you could talk to me…' She trailed off, blushing slightly, hoping he didn't think she thought he would speak to her because she was special, she had to remind herself that she'd rejected him, any control she had over him before to get him talking around her and no one else, was gone now because he didn't feel anything for her.

'Things are just starting to get better, me and my mum have had a bad relationship my entire life, but now finally she pulls herself together and finds a guy who loved her, and she got married and was happy you know, we started talking more often and things were getting better, now…what if she doesn't…' He paused unable to carry on, Rory leaned forward and hugged him, letting him wrap his arms around her thin waist, she was pleased he'd opened up to her, but still felt his pain, almost as raw as he did. Jess hugged her back, needing her strength and her ability to calm him, feeling exposed to be acting to weak near her, but knowing she would never judge him for it. He held onto her tightly, as if afraid she would disappear if he let go, unable to bare the thought of loosing her when he needed her the most.

'It's going to be ok Jess.' She soothed him, clinging to him, desperate to take his pain away.

a/n2- Review please J