For The Love of a Daughter
Scared. James knew that was an emotion that shouldn't be present in this situation. Maybe a little natural nervousness, but not this out-and-out, pure terror that kept him pacing backwards and forwards outside the room. It wasn't supposed to happen like this. These emotions and thoughts should not be running through his head. He shouldn't be stuck outside like this.
James had been here so many times in his life, watching as it happened to his parents, Aunts, Uncles, siblings and cousins. He knew the drill like the back of his hand. Floo the family and then hold her hand while she screamed and cursed and threatened him with every jinx in existence. Then, when it was all over, they would look at this person they had created, and he would brush her hair from her sweaty forehead and whisper in her ear "Well done love, I'm so proud of you."
But instead he was stuck outside in this clinically white corridor wondering what was going on inside. Everything seemed to be going so well, so normal but then suddenly a machine started beeping, and then she was wired to more and more machines that kept beeping and flashing, and he had been pushed out here as more and more Healers and Medi-witches rushed in. He didn't know how much longer he could stand this, being forced to listen to her screams of absolute agony, unable to do anything to help her.
Just as he was considering simply barging in to the room and demanding to be able to stay with her, the door opened to reveal a Medi-witch holding a tiny bundle wrapped in a pink blanket. He turned to her, one question in his bloodshot eyes, but it was not the one she answered. "Congratulations Mr Potter, you have a beautiful baby girl." She handed him his daughter – dear Merlin he had a daughter – and knew she could not put it off any longer. "I'm so sorry Mr Potter, but your wife didn't make it."
He didn't notice her leaving. He didn't really notice anything as he slid down the wall, cradling his little girl close as he started sobbing. Huge, heart-wrenching sobs that shook his entire body. He didn't know how he was going to live without her. He had liked her since their third year, loved her since their sixth, and truly believed he was his missing second half. Now that she was gone he had no idea what to do. He had to raise their daughter on his own. Sweet Merlin, how was he supposed to raise a kid without her?
James had no idea how long he sat like that, but he vaguely registered his Grandmother taking the baby from his arms and being steered through the Floo back to Potter Manor by his parents. He didn't even think about the baby, just went straight to his old childhood bedroom and threw himself onto his bed, giving in once more to agonising sobs before finally succumbing to sleep.
He guessed that he had been up here for about a week, but he couldn't know for sure. Multiple times a day one or the other of his parents would bring him food, imploring him to come down and the the baby. The baby, that's what she was known as. A week old and she was still without a name. But he hadn't been able to bring himself to name her yet, not without her mother. They had talked about names a couple of months before the birth, but they hadn't been able to decide on any they both liked, finally agreeing to a shortlist that would be decided on upon the birth of their son or daughter. She had wanted a little girl so badly, he knew it was the one thing she really wanted in life, after marrying him of course. But now she was gone and had a daughter to raise on his own. It was times like this that he really could have used a drink, but even in his haze of grief he knew it was irresponsible as a father. And she had hated the habit, so he had given up all alcohol except special occasions. This should be a special occasion, he mused, but he definitely wasn't celebrating now.
Suddenly it hit him. What was he doing? Yes, he had lost his wife, the love of his life, but somewhere in this house was a week-old baby girl that would never know her mother. As much as he was hurting, he knew he had to go downstairs to meet his daughter. To let her know how much he loved her already, how much her mother had loved her.
He screwed up all of his Gryffindor courage to walk down those stairs, and almost went back up when he saw his mother pacing backwards and forwards in the living room, whispering comforting words to the tiny girl in her arms. But then she started crying, and his paternal instinct kicked in as he almost ran in to the room, scooped his daughter out of his mother's arms and started rocking her back and forth. He realised that in his grief he had never actually had a good look at her. She looked just like her mother, with skin that looked slightly tanned, a few tiny freckles and already a dusting of fine, red hair. She would fit in well with his family, he mused as he watched her give a tiny yawn. Then, just as he thought she was asleep, he opened her eyes. Startling blue eyes, just like her Mum. Eyes that he could stare into forever.
He suddenly had a name, a name that would forever remind them both of the person his wife had been. Sweet and gentle, yet hardy and resilient. A name that would forever remind her of just how much he loved her, his little princess. For that was what she was, Daddy's little Princess. Looking at the baby now asleep in his arms, he wondered how he had managed to wait a week to do this. It seemed so natural, that he was surprised he hadn't been cradling her for his whole life, rather than five minutes.
Although he could stare at her forever, he tore his eyes away to look at his parents. His Mum had tears running down her cheeks and his Dad had the goofiest grin on his face. He knew what they wanted to know, it was the three words that would tell them whether he would stick with her or not. "Daisy Sarah Potter." And that's all it took, they understood. He knew it would be hard, and there would be days where he just felt like crying, but he would raise her with love enough to make up for her missing mother. And she would be fine, because afterall, she was the daughter of James Sirius Potter and Lauren Sarah Jenkins, granddaughter of Harry and Ginny Potter and Parvati Patil. She came from a long line of Gryffindors, and the two of them would get through it together, no matter what life through at them.
A/N. Written for the Song Fic Boot Camp Challenge using prompt #7 For The Love of a Daughter by Demi Lovato.