Title: Mum's The Word
Rating: PG-13
Spoilers: up to The Escape
Genre: Romance/General
Pairings: Seth/Ryan
Summary: Seth has finally learned how to keep his mouth shut. Seth/Ryan. Takes place after the Escape.
Disclaimer: I own nothing. Not even Ryan and Seth. [pause] Dammit.
All these years I've been wandering around,
Wondering how come nobody told me
All that I was looking for was somebody
Who looked like you… - "I've Got a Feeling". The Beatles.
Seth has finally learned how to keep his mouth shut.
Not on everything, like video games or comics or practically everything under the sun, but on the important thing, which is that he has developed an extremely inappropriate boy crush on his new foster brother. Yeah. This is really bad.
Seth can barely even articulate how much it sucks that he's lost interest in Summer when she's finally interested in him. Actually, he still is interested, because Summer's tongue in his mouth? Wow.
Maybe it's that his intense Summer-crush is slowly fading away, only to be replaced with an even more intense yet more subtle Ryan-crush. And Seth's pretty sure that his feelings are no longer platonic. A friend wouldn't get the urge to stick his throat down his other male friend's throat right in the middle of The Lord of the Rings: The Two Towers DVD. Yeah, wanting to French someone is a pretty good indicator of what your feelings are. Which just bites because now who the hell is he supposed to talk to about it?
Not to mention the fact that this is the last thing that he and everyone needs to be dealing with right now. What with the Marissa-crisis, the Cooper divorce, Mr. Cooper's financial/legal problems (and damn, do the Coopers have a lot of crises) Seth having not-so-brotherly feelings for his pseudo brother is not a good thing right now.
Seth would like to think that if it did come out, everything would still be okay, but if anything, the past few weeks have taught him that sometimes things don't work out, there aren't always happily-ever-after endings, and yes, his decisions can and have led to some really bad things.
And Seth knows what telling Ryan will lead to. He's not afraid of Ryan beating him up, because Ryan wouldn't do that. But Ryan might laugh it off, which would be bad, or he might totally shut Seth out and never let him in again and that would be the end of everything, which would be worse.
So yeah, this is the last thing Seth is planning on discussing with anyone, ever, and that includes Ryan. Seth's isn't an idiot, and this is the last thing he plans to burden Ryan with. Their friendship is too important to be ruined by some stupid thing that Seth is going to get rid of just as soon as he can figure out how.
So, until Seth can find the magic pill, elixir, therapy, whatever, that gets him out of this mess, mum's the word.
Seth has never really understood that saying, but whatever. He has more important things to worry about. Like how he can hide something this big when it is in his freakin' nature to be open about everything.
But Seth can't be open and honest because he fully understands just what is at stake here. His friendship with Ryan, which is the best thing that's happened to Seth in a long time. His relationship with Summer if this gets out. The hard-won peace and trust between Ryan and Seth's mom that will explode into open warfare if anyone realizes what Seth is trying so desperately hard to hide.
But Seth just doesn't want to be so secretive. Not that there is anything wrong with sneaky, just that Seth has always preferred having a partner-in-crime. Even in the days before Ryan, he liked planning plots and having secrets with other people. Like when he and his dad had to sneak away from his mom at the mall to buy her Mother's Day present and came up with this incredibly elaborate scheme that involved synchronized watches and disguises. (So they'd watched too many Bond movies the week before. So what?) Seth can be really secretive if he tries, but it's exhausting being on his guard 24/7, especially with Ryan when he's supposed to be all relaxed and carefree.
But Seth can't be exactly be carefree when it's on the tip of his tongue to tell Ryan that that Summer's not as wonderful as he thought, or how Anna's just really a good friend. Or that he knows Marissa isn't worthy of the pedestal that Ryan has clearly put her on. Or that Ryan should be walking around shirtless whenever possible.
Maybe Seth's farther gone than he realized.
But he can't. Not now, not in a few months or when things calm down, not ever. Seth has always prided himself on not being selfish like all the other teenagers in Newport, and if being unselfish means putting everyone else before himself, then that's the way it's has to be.
And really, Seth can handle this. He can. He can do this. Really.
As long as Ryan doesn't wear those wifebeaters, Seth'll be just fine.