Trying to get back in the groove. This one is Random Level: Potato Chip. Got the idea from that "Name 12 countries!" shindig on my profile. DON'T LOOK AT ME!

The morning began unexpectedly.

Not unexpectedly because Hungary was unused to the idea of mornings. She'd had her fair share of those. It was unexpected because it began, rather than with a gentle sunrise and the playful chirping of dozens of songbirds, with a phone call.

"I was like, she was all, he was all, they were like, we were all like oh my god, like, totally, we were…"

Without opening her eyes, Hungary picked up her phone from the nightstand. "Po-Bear, it's too early."

Poland's loud voice bowled Hungary over. "OHMIGAWD, Lizzy, You will NOT believe who was just over here!"

Hungary looked at her clock resentfully. "At 4 in the morning? Was it Ivan?"

"Not even, try again!"

Hungary groaned. "Can't this wait until morning, Feliks? I'm exhausted."

Poland ignored her. "Here's a hint- he's mega annoying and wearing this gaudy Superman shirt."

Hungary sat up. "Alfred? What's he doing at your place at this time of night?"

"No idea! He ruined my beauty sleep so I sent him away and called you to gossip! I think he was crying or something, haha!"

Hungary rolled her eyes and smiled. "Ha, you got me. I almost believed you. Going back to bed now."

"Liz, I'm so not kidding!"

"Honey, America doesn't cry, no way. Your pranks are getting stupider and I'm tired."

"Ohmigawd, bitch!"

The doorbell rang and Hungary groaned. "Who seriously visits at this hour? Honestly."

"Ooh! Betcha a manicure it's the hero!"

"No. I am going back to sleep now. I will talk to you at a saner hour. Goodnight."

"Ha! As if he'd let you off that easy!"

Hungary was about to hang up when the doorbell started screaming frantically. Whoever was at the door seemed to be attacking the bell with a gusto normal people usually reserved for life or death battles. Hungary stood up, not a little worried. She straightened her night dress and looked at her phone. "Is it seriously America?"

"He's hit everyone in the area tonight, the idiot!"

Hungary walked downstairs. "But what does he want?"

"No idea! Liet's the only one who talked to him, and he says that it's private!"

The door pounded with invisible fists. "You should have talked to him," Hungary said as she reached for the doorknob. "What if it's-"

"MAMA!"

"…serious?"

Hungary looked from the enormous bouquet of wildflowers to the grinning bespectacled face on her porch. America looked at her with barely concealed hope and Hungary turned to her phone.

"I need to go, Po Bear."

"Tell me ALL about it later over the manicure you owe-"

Hungary hung up and looked back to the problem on the porch.

"Okay. I'll bite. Flowers at 4 in the morning because why?"

"4?" America said, confused. "But it's only 10 at night."

Hungary facepalmed. "You still can't get the hang of time zones? Are you serious?"

"Time zones! I knew I was forgetting something!" He laughed and straightened his Superman T shirt. "You're so smart, Mom!"

Hungary's eye twitched violently. "Explain yourself."

America shoved the flowers into her arms. "You don't have to worry anymore, we can be a family now! I'll be the best son ever and then you'll love me!"

Hungary was torn between terror and rage. But then, shockingly, she saw that America's eyes were filled with half formed tears and his grin wavered with insecurity. Hungary inwardly cursed her curiosity and her weakness for kids and sighed.

"Come inside, crazy. I'll make you some tea."

She led America to her kitchen and sat him down. He babbled happily about Pulitzer prizes and Gene Simmons while she set the kettle on the stove. She noticed America rub his eyes when she put the flowers in an empty vase and watered them.

"I should have known you were my mom! It's so obvious now!"

Hungary brought America a slice of cake and sat across from him at the table. "I'm not your mom, Alfred."

America paused for a fraction of a second and the huge bite of cake fell from his fork. "O-oh, right," his voice quavered. "Anya. Am I saying that right?"

Hungary's lip twitched a little to hear the ridiculous American accent, but she didn't laugh. "I'm not your Anya. What made you think I was?"

America's eyes watered. "But… my people… So many of them come from here! I mean, not as many as Poland, but if he was my mom, he wouldn't have sent me away, right?"

Hungary pursed her lips. "I don't understand. Your people are American."

America tried to mimic Hungary's expression. "They are, technically, but they're also Hungarian or Korean or German and stuff."

"I will actually pay you to show up in the middle of the night on Germany's porch and call him "Mama."" The kettle whistled and Hungary stood up to pour the tea.

America took the offered teacup. "So… you're really not my mom…"

"No, sweetheart."

"Then how can I have Hungarian people?"

Hungary brushed a lock of hair from America's face. "You don't. All of your people are American."

"But they have Hungarian grandparents and stuff!"

"Right. But they aren't their grandparents, are they?"

America rubbed at his eyes furiously. Hungary reached out to comfort him, but he stood up and turned his back to her.

"Alfred," Hungary said, standing up. "Where is this coming from?"

The tall blond man sniffed and mumbled something.

"What?"

"Where do I come from?" He spun around violently and Hungary was shocked to see tears flooding his cheeks.

"Alfred..?"

"England found me, I'm not his real brother! I thought maybe I was Native American, but so few of my people are, and I made them hate me anyway! England adopted me and Matt, so we aren't really related to him! My people say they're Polish and Italian and Finnish, and someone has to be my mom or dad, right? Someone has to be my family!"

He was sobbing openly now. Hungary pulled him to his chest and hushed him, and America clutched at her back and cried. She led him to the couch in her living room and stroked his hair as he sobbed.

Hungary took a second to appreciate how bizarre it was that the hero of the world was weeping in her lap and she resisted the urge to grab her phone and take a video. Awesome blackmail aside, she couldn't bring herself to take advantage of him, even if Poland and Japan wanted to kill her later.

America stopped crying abruptly and stood up. "I'm sorry," he said cheerfully. Hungary was taken aback. "I'm kind of an idiot, haha! And not that anyone'll believe you, but I'd totally appreciate if you didn't tell anyone about this!"

Hungary looked up into America's face. He grinned, embarrassed, but his blue eyes streamed uncontrollably. Hungary recognized that stupid pride and sighed. "Sit down, Alfred. Let's talk."

"Nah, I should get home. Thanks for the tea and cake!"

Yup, same dismissive attitude. At least he wasn't throwing punches and furniture and swearing.

Hungary stood up. "Alfred, I didn't know my parents either."

America let his face fall curiously. "…You didn't?"

"A lot of us didn't. My very first memory is running away from someone after stealing carrots. If I ever had parents, they were gone by the time I could remember them."

America sat down and Hungary sat on the armrest. "Germania kept his eye on me, sure. Kind of like a super nice uncle, but I was never really his. And Turkey, he tried to raise me, but I hated him from the start."

America smiled thinly. "But you have such a big family."

"So do you, kiddo." Hungary grinned and poked America's cheek. "Us older nations, we spent half our childhoods at war with each other because we thought we were supposed to be all alone. We didn't learn until later that we could call each other family and be way happier. Kids like you get that lesson free."

"You can't just call someone your family, Elizabeta. Family doesn't work like that."

"That's what family is," Hungary laughed. "You know Switzerland and Liechtenstein? He just found her walking around one day and adopted her on the spot!"

America's mouth fell open. "Nuh-uh!"

"Yes-huh. And they're closer than China and Japan, even though those two are blood. Family is the people who love you, and you have a bigger family than you think."

America blushed and Hungary almost squealed at the cute. "Everyone doesn't hate me?"

"You're part of our family, stupid. You've got parts of all of us in you because you're a child of the world. You're young and dumb and obnoxious, but you're still our little brother."

America grinned and wiped his face. "You're my older sister?"

Hungary laughed and pinched his nose. "You got my ridiculously sweet ass. And a bit of my dumb pride."

America laughed shakily. "And Germany's insane upper body strength!"

"And Greece's brain!"

"And Finland's nose!

"Austria's impatience!"

"Korea's sweet dance moves!"

"Prussia's ego!"

"Italy's cooking?"

Hungary laughed. "I'm pretty sure you got that from England. But you definitely have Feli's smile."

America smiled happily. "So I'm part of everybody."

"And everybody's part of you," Hungary said. "You're such a ridiculous mix that there's only one word to describe you and your people."

"Awesome?"

"American."

America grinned a huge, silly grin. Without warning, he threw his arms around Hungary and kissed her loudly on the cheek. She squealed in mock disgust.

"Gross, you're all wet and snotty!"

"And you love me anyway, sis!"

Hungary grinned. "I never said that!"

"You implied it! And that's good enough for me!"

Hungary bopped America's head. "You're such an idiot! Are you staying for breakfast?"

"Thanks for the offer," America smiled, "but I should be heading to bed soon."

Hungary groaned. "I almost forgot about-"

"Time zones," America cackled. "Point USA!"

"Aw, no fair!" Hungary wailed. "You get to wake me up and cry all over me and then go back to bed? I call bullshit!"

America grinned and stood up. "Sorry, sis!"

"Spoiled little brat."

America laughed sheepishly. "Hey, um… could we, you know… keep this between us? Please don't tell anyone you saw me, like, cry or anything."

"Oh, I am telling everyone," Hungary grinned.

"What? Come on!"

Hungary winked. "Just fucking with you, kiddo! I won't tell. You gonna be okay getting home?"

America sighed in relief. "Second star to the right and straight on till morning!"

"Not quite." Hungary patted his shoulder. "I'd give you a map if I thought you could figure it out. Just call me if you get lost.

America pulled Hungary into a tight, almost painful hug. "Thanks, Liz. I owe you."

"More than you know," she gasped. "But you can pay me back later."

They walked to the porch and Hungary waved him off. "Be careful!" she called. "Avoid Switzerland, he hates being woken up!"

"Got it!"

"And don't talk to anyone in France, he likes to disguise himself and take us by surprise!"

"Noted!"

America was small now, but Hungary shouted. "AND DON'T FORGET TO BRUSH YOUR TEETH BEFORE-"

"LIZ," America shouted back. "I GOT IT!"

"OKAY!" Hungary watched America disappear in the hills and smiled. She wondered how long it would take him to realize he was going south.

The sun finally crept above the horizon and woke up a tree filled with birds. Hungary flipped off everything and went back inside to get ready for the day.

Holy projection, Batman! Guilty, yes. I project my love for the most awesome country ever onto everyone and everything. I regret nothing.