South Park and its characters © Trey Parker and Matt Stone
Mean!Damien x Girly!Pip
Rated T for South Park language and adult content.
Boyue's Disclaimer: Okay, first of all, I am not a fan of mpreg… So why am I writing this story? It's an idea that came to me and I thought it would be interesting to explore the plot of Pip being pregnant with Damien's manlove child. If Satan can impregnate a porcupine (granted, it was Cartman's imagination), why can't Damien plant his demonic seeds in Pip's belly? Consider this my warning. If you don't want to read about male pregnancy, then this fiction isn't for you… o.o;;
MATERNAL HEART
How It All Began…
When They Were Eight…
"PROPER CONDOM USE"
"Hello, Phillip. Come on in and take a seat, m'kay."
Phillip "Pip" Pirrup gave a nod and closed the heavy door behind him. He nervously took the seat in front of the desk and sat up straight, his hands resting face-down on his laps. He took a shy glance at his guidance counselor before he pulled his chin down and stared at the back of his hands. He fidgeted a bit in the hard chair, shifting his weight between his buttocks. The chair itself was uncomfortable and the tense atmosphere in the office wasn't helping much. The air was stuffy and smelled like marijuana smoke. Pip gave a quick look at the diplomas hung high on the wall, the names of the books in the bookcase, and oddly enough a framed picture of Mr. Mackey. Pip felt like he shouldn't be here; a goody-two-shoe like himself didn't usually end up in Mr. Mackey's office. But he had come here on his own will.
Mr. Mackey placed his hands on the desk with his fingers interlaced. He looked down at Pip with his usual expressionless face. "You wanted to see me about something, m'kay?"
"Oh, yes, Sir. I was wondering…" Pip paused and bit softly on his lower lip.
"It's alright, Phillip. You can ask me anything, m'kay."
"Mr. Mackey, Sir, I was wondering… how do you know if you're pregnant?" Pip looked up and caught the odd look on Mr. Mackey's face.
"Well, that's a very good question, 'mkay. But you don't have to worry about being pregnant since you're a boy."
"Oh… Why is that?"
"Because boys can't get pregnant, m'kay. Only girls get pregnant."
"Why is it that only girls can get pregnant?"
"You see, Phillip, girls have an organ called the uterus and with a uterus, they are able to bear children, m'kay."
"Ah, I understand," Pip said. He took a moment to take in all the new information before he asked timidly, "How do I get a u-tar-us?"
"You can't get a uterus. You have to be born with it, m'kay."
Pip sunk low into his chair. He clutched his shorts and let out a sad sigh. He looked up at Mr. Mackey with a deep frown and asked, "Does it mean that I will never be able to have babies?"
"No, no, m'kay, you'll be able to make babies with a girl."
"Is that so… But I won't be the one giving birth, will I?"
"I'm afraid not, Phillip, m'kay. Now, why do you ask?"
"There is… Oh, it's quite embarrassing actually…"
Mr. Mackey leaned forward on the desk and said, "It's alright. You are in a safe zone, m'kay. You can tell me anything."
"You see, Sir," Pip said quietly with a faint blush, "there is this boy that I adore and I was hoping that I'd be able to have his baby in the future. But I see now that is hopeless… since we are both boys and neither of us have a u-tar-us."
"Well, you can consider adopting, m'kay. Maybe a baby from China or Mexico, m'kay."
"True…" Pip nodded but still a sigh escaped from his throat. "But it won't be our baby…"
"Now, Phillip, you are too young to be thinking about having babies and having sexual relations, m'kay. I want you to focus on school and push those thoughts to the back of your head, m'kay?"
"Right-o… Thank you, Sir. I'm awful sorry to have bothered you."
Pip scooted out of the hard chair and gave an appreciative nod. Mr. Mackey bid him good-bye and Pip left the counselor's office. He strolled out of the school ground, grieving audibly at his inability to bear children.
"MR. GARRISON'S FANCY NEW VAGINA"
"Mrs. Garrison, may I have a moment of your time?" Pip asked, keeping a courteous smile on his boyish face.
"What is it, Pip?" his teacher responded annoyingly. She leaned back on the chair and crossed her legs. Purposely, she flashed her panties-less crotch at Pip. Pip winced and decided to keep his eyes on the floor for the rest of the conversation. Mrs. Garrison grumbled impatiently, "Spit it out. I don't got all day."
"I was wondering now that you are a woman, are you able to have babies?"
"What?" Mrs. Garrison perked up angrily. "I am a real woman now. I can have all the babies I want. God, stop asking stupid questions."
"Oh is that so?" Pip beamed an excited grin. "So if I were to become a woman, I can have babies as well?"
"What you want a baby for?" Mrs. Garrison rolled her eyes behind her square glasses. "A baby is just an ungrateful tumor inside your stomach that makes you fat and ugly."
"Certainly that is not true," Pip mumbled. Having a baby was Pip's biggest dream… right after winning the heart of (what he believed to be) his true love. "How should I go about becoming a woman?"
"It's easy. You just have to get a sex change operation," Mrs. Garrison answered casually like she was discussing the weather. "They cut off your ding-dong and make you a snatch." She moved to adjust her bra, supporting two unevenly shaped breast implants. "Then they give you some knockers and you're set."
"Oh jolly!" Pip exclaimed happily. He thought about it for a moment and asked innocently, "Um, Mrs. Garrison, can I have a baby without having my wiener cut off?"
"God, no, dumbass. You need a vagina to poop your ugly bastard child out," Mrs. Garrison said, rolling her eyes condescendingly.
"I see…" Pip said, nodding his head. "Will they be able to reattach my wiener afterward?"
"Yeah, I mean, sure they can… but it probably won't work anymore." Mrs. Garrison shrugged. Pip looked at her horrified and hoped that she was only joking. The seriousness on her manly face told Pip otherwise.
"Oh dear! I don't think I can live without my wiener…"
"Suck it up."
"I… Oh… dear… I… Thank you, Mrs. Garrison. I am sorry to have been a bother."
"Yeah, yeah, now get out of here. I need my beauty nap," Mrs. Garrison said, putting her hairy legs on the desk and reclining backward against the chalkboard.
Pip tried not to look at the unshaven legs. He hurried out of the classroom and headed for the playground to join everyone else for recess. Recess wasn't his favorite time of day; no one ever wanted to play with him. Sometime, Cartman would come over and play with him. Most of the time, Pip hid behind the jungle gym and watched the other children play.
"FOLLOW THAT EGG"
"Stan, you are paired with Bebe," Mrs. Garrison said, making the correct arrangement on the board. "And Kyle, you are with Wendy."
Stan Marsh gasped loudly and glared at the back of his teacher. He turned his head and watched helplessly as his best friend moved his desk next to Wendy Testaburger's. Kyle and Wendy exchanged a friendly smile and Stan's face twisted angrily. Pip usually sat in the back of the class to avoid getting hit by spitballs. He glanced past the moving heads in front of him and searched for his name on the board. It was almost his turn and his heart was beating faster with each passing second.
"Kenny and Powder…" Mrs. Garrison moved the names next to each other. He picked up Pip's name and Pip leaned forward on his desk, eagerly waiting for his partner's name. Mrs. Garrison took a step back and checked the remaining names. He placed Pip's name down next to a red name magnet and Pip's heart sunk before she even announced, "Pip, you are going to be with Angela."
"Oh… Jolly," Pip muttered under his breath. He leaned back against his chair and glanced toward the person he wanted to be partnered with. Damien was glaring at his desk, as if he was trying to burn a hole through the wood surface. Pip let out a sigh, a bit dreamy and a bit sad.
"Damien, you are with Helen. Alright now, you can have the rest of the class to decorate your egg. Remember," Mrs. Garrison said, turning to face the fourth graders grimly, "if you break your egg, you have a dead baby. If you have a dead baby, you get an F. Get moving!"
Pip scooted his desk near Angela and forced a smile on his face. Angela rolled her eyes at him and turned her back on him. She uncapped the green marker and gave the baby-egg green eyes. Pip wasn't surprised at Angela's behavior; no one really liked him in the class. Still, it was a partner-project and Pip couldn't just sit and not do anything. He picked up the scissors and started to cut out a navy blue hat for the egg to wear. He glanced up from his construction paper and looked over Angela's head to see what Damien was doing with his egg. Helen seemed to be the one doing all the work while Damien stared at the desk with boredom. Pip kept his eyes on Damien for a second too long and the scissors blade slit open his skin. He let out a high yelp that drew the class's attention to him.
"Ha! Pussy," Cartman teased. He puckered his lips and cooed, "Do you want mommy to kiss your boo-boo?" He grinned but turned his attention back to his egg, leaving Pip to deal with his fresh wound.
The cut wasn't deep but a little bit of blood was oozing out. It also itched and Pip had to resist the urge to scratch it. He wiped his finger on his shorts to dry the blood. He picked up the scissors again and gave his full attention on tailoring a hat for his egg. A soft smile crept up his face. Sure, it was only an egg, but it was his 'baby'. And he just knew he was going to be such a great father if he had the chance to prove himself.
"Um, Angela?" Pip called shyly, tapping his partner on the shoulder.
"What?" Angela didn't bother to turn around. She reached for the ball of red yarn.
"I made a little hat for our egg. Would you like to glue it on now?"
Angela turned her head and gave the paper hat a quick look. "That's a stupid hat," she said, and turned her back on Pip once again.
"Terribly sorry," Pip said dejectedly. "I will make a new one then."
Pip put the hat to the side since he didn't think it was a stupid hat. He picked up the dark green construction paper and cut out a new hat. The rest of the class chattered amongst themselves. He heard Powder scolding Kenny for wanting to draw a penis on the egg. Token mentioned that his brown egg should have thick, curly hair. Heidi was glad that the egg wasn't as fat as Cartman. Kyle and Wendy discussed who would take care of the egg when. Stan fumed while Bebe decorated the egg. All was well until suddenly someone screamed.
"Ahhh! What the hell!?" Helen shrieked. "Mrs. Garrison! Mrs. Garrison!"
Pip, along with the class, turned toward Helen's direction. Mrs. Garrison reluctantly got out of her chair and walked over to the back corner.
"What is it, Helen, you stupid bitch?" Mrs. Garrison asked half-heartedly.
"D-Damien killed our egg!" Helen shouted, pointing an accusing finger at her partner. "He killed it!"
Pip stood from his seat just in time to see Damien cracking open the shell of the now-hardboiled egg and taking a big bite out of it. Damien winced, disgusted, and spat out the half-chewed egg white on his desk. Mrs. Garrison scoffed, muttering a few cuss words under her breath, and walked back to her desk. Damien left the mutilated baby-egg on the desk while Helen looked about to cry. Pip wasn't sure if he should laugh at Damien's prank or be worried that the dark-haired boy wouldn't be a good father. He couldn't have Damien eating their babies!
"Here's another egg," Mrs. Garrison said from her desk, holding the egg in her hand. Helen got out of her seat and stumbled toward the teacher's desk. Instead of handing the egg to Helen, Mrs. Garrison shouted, "Catch!"
Damien must have been dozing off. The egg hit him right between his eyes. The shell cracked and the white and yellow content slimed down his nose to his mouth. Pip gasped, preparing himself for Damien's vengeance. Damien, however, seemed rather amused by it. He stuck out his tongue and licked at the tip of his nose, tasting the yolk. He circled his tongue around his mouth and smacked his lips. Pip felt he could swoon at the scene before him.
"You killed my egg," Helen whined to Mrs. Garrison.
"Okay, okay, stop your bitching." Mrs. Garrison picked out a brand-new egg and signed the bottom. She handed it over and Helen took it protectively. Mrs. Garrison looked to Damien and warned, "If you kill your baby again, I'm giving you an F."
Damien ignored the teacher's warning. He lifted up his black shirt and wiped his face with it, leaving a big white stain on his shirt. Pip walked out of his seat and took the seat vacated by Helen. Helen gave him a frown but gladly put down the new egg and took Pip's seat instead. She complained Damien's behavior loudly to Angela, who nodded her head in vicious agreement. Pip picked up the new egg and sighed contently. He turned to Damien and beamed a smile.
"What do you think our baby will look like, Damien?"
"Shut up," Damien said, his voice an octave higher than Pip's. "You aren't worthy to have a baby with me!"
Pip was rather disappointed at Damien's response, but he figured the demonic boy was only being shy. He scooted his chair a little closer. Damien eyed him and sounded a grunt when Pip got a little too close for comfort. To Pip's surprise, Damien didn't summon demons to eat him. He only shifted his chair so he was facing Pip instead of the front of the class.
"Let's get this troublesome project over with," Damien squeaked. Though Pip knew he was trying to sound authoritative, he couldn't help but giggled quietly at Damien's voice. It was beyond adorable. Damien grunted and shouted, "Stop laughing or I will give you something to laugh about!"
"Right-o!" Pip grinned. He hadn't been so happy in a long while. "We should give our baby a name. What should we name it?"
"We shall name him Lucifer after my father! God's greatest rival! All shall fear him!"
"Lucifer it is then," Pip said. He picked up the black marker and drew the egg's eyes.
"He should have red eyes," Damien said, a little less dramatic.
"Ah, sure." Pip put down the black marker and used the red one. "What about his hair?"
"Black!" Damien shouted excitedly.
Pip complied and cut out a bit of yarn to make a wig for the egg. He looked at the naked egg, admiring at the work he had done. He turned to Damien with a happy grin.
"Our baby is so beautiful," Pip said dreamily.
"He shall be the most beautiful and powerful egg of them all!" Damien exclaimed, picking up his dramatic tone again.
Pip brushed his shoulder against Damien's. He half-expected Damien to recoil but Damien seemed too focused on the egg to notice anything. Pip had never seen him so excited before. He handed the egg over so Damien could hold it while he worked on making an outfit for the egg. He cut out a little coat and dressed the egg…
No… He dressed his baby. His baby with Damien. He looked over at Damien and swore he saw a little smile on Damien's pale face. The project might turned out to be quite fun after all…
"Pip! What are you doing?" Mrs. Garrison barked. "You're partnered with Angela."
"Oh, but I am having more fun with Damien," Pip reasoned.
"Yeah, and I like partnering with Helen," Angela said.
"I don't care. This is no homo-partnership here. Pip, get back to Angela, and Helen, go back to Damien."
"But, Mrs. Garrison…!" Pip whined.
"Now or I'll fail all four of you!"
Angela grumbled under her breath while Helen and Pip returned to their assigned seatsAngela wrapped a tissue around the egg to protect it. Pip eyed Damien and their baby-egg from a distance. He missed his baby already.
TO BE CONTINUED...
Boyue's Note: This is just the boring prologue of Pip's obsession with having a baby with Damien. The following chapters will be of them older and go through Pip's pregnancy. Hopefully you will stay tuned! =D
2.04.09
2:45 AM