Disclaimer: I unfortunately don't own Star Wars. George Lucas does
The REALLY Fat Neimoidian
"Count Dooku, my lord. Where is Rune Haako?" said Nute Gunray over the holo-screen.
"Your lieutenant viceroy is running an errand on Cato Neimoidia right now. Allow me to introduce you to his stand-in, his cousin, Hune Raako."
Into the office walked the fattest Neimoidian Nute had ever seen, box of Twinkies in his hand. Nute was disgusted.
"I'm sure that he will suit you, Viceroy," said Dooku, shaking with laughter.
"Heysa, Viceroy. Mesa Hune Raako!" said Hune.
"You are obviously not a Gungan, so stop talking like one. It reminds me of Naboo!" ordered Gunray sternly.
"Well excuse me, sir. It's not my fault that you and my cousin are pitiful tacticians!" Raako said. "I have some good ideas!"
At that moment, Gunray's Toydarian secretary flapped in. She opened her mouth to speak, but then she saw the obese stand-in, and flapped out.
"Want a twinkie?" asked Hune.
"If they make me look like you than no. Why don't you go the gym and get down to a decent weight. Now if you don't mind, I have a large sum to pay to Baktoid for their idiotic, pieces of crap!" Nute was exasperated by now.
"Fine, son of a murglak!" whispered Hune.
General Grievous laughed in the security room as he watched Gunray's disgust with Hune. Rune Haako desperately wanted a pay raise, and Gunray was unwilling to give it to him. So Grievous, ever ready to annoy Nute, had assisted Haako in providing his enormous Neimoidian cousin to annoy Nute. Count Dooku had all too willingly helped to pull it off.
Grievous knew what Gunray would do next.
"Hello, this is Asajj Ventress," said the Rattakian assassin through the holocom.
"Ventress, this is Gunray. I need you to assassinate Hune Raako! He's an enormous Neimoidian in the cafeteria probably. I'll send battle droids to assist you."
"Yes, sir," growled Ventress.
Nute turned to the battle droid in the corner of his office. "Go kill Raako!"
"Roger, roger!"
3 HOURS LATER
"Hey, Gunray!" said Hune cheerfully chewing on a Twinkie.
"What!?! This is and outrage! Why aren't you dead you Twinkie-guzzling twit!" cried Gunray.
"HAHAHA!" came a metally voice.
"Wha- GRIEVOUS!" shrieked Gunray.
"You've been pranked, Viceroy!" said Rune Haako, entering the room.
"Then who is this?"
"I am who I said I am. Haako's cousin!" said Hune.
"Well then Ventress-"
"Was in on it," came the voice of Asajj Ventress from the doorway.
On the holocom, Count Dooku showed up. "Hahaha! This will teach you to be less stingy with money! Now can Haako have his raise?"
"Oh fine! Just get this idiot out of here!" shrieked Gunray, pointing to Hune.
"OK" everyone said. Gunray could have sworn he heard the battle droid in his office say okay as well.
"You were in on this too?"
"Roger, roger!"
END
Author's Note: If you have any suggestions on how to make my stories better, just let me know! Tank Yousa!