"One of the other Hypnos campers muttered in his sleep-something about a duck."-the Lost Hero, pp. 103
The duck was taunting him. It stood in the middle of the farm, directly atop the large pole with a "Kipmore Farms—No Trespassing" sign on it. It pulled a large cigar out of the breast pocket of its suit and lit it with a flick of the neon purple lighter.
Tom didn't understand how, or why, but that duck was important. He needed that duck.
Why was he so afraid? It was just a sign. It wasn't like it was a hellhound or anything. Just...a little sign. With some trepidation, Tom stepped over the fence onto the farm. The duck stubbed out the cigar on the wooden pole, which seemed like a fire hazard, and threw the butt at Tom's face.
In a move he knew could never be replicated in real life, Tom snatched the cigar butt out of the air. As he closed his hand around it, the butt changed from a hot bit of ashy tobacco to something cold and smooth. Tom suddenly held a Coors Light in his hand, which made him seriously wonder what that duck had been smoking.
The duck leapt from its perch. Tom stepped back. Being hit by a duck was not something he wanted to cross off his bucket list.
As the duck hit the ground, it changed from an average mallard into a beautiful woman. She looked kind of like Emma Stone, but also a bit like Drew. Whoever she was, she wore a red sundress that failed to hide an incredibly rocking body.
Tom was speechless. The woman was actually so beautiful that she took his breath away. Subtly, he tried to cross his legs.
The woman laughed. She pulled out her own beer and took a long drink. Tom tried to cover his staring by having a drink of his beer. Instead, he managed to upend the entire thing on his clothes. The beer refilled itself. His clothes stayed wet.
The woman smiled. She walked up to him and kissed him.
Tom should have realized about then he was dealing with Aphrodite. But, then again, her kisses didn't generally make one observant.
Rather the opposite, actually.
Well, one thing led to another, and the two ended up completely naked in the nearby stream.
And then Aphrodite was gone and the duck was back, which seemed harsh. Tom was enjoying himself, and he'd thought she was, too.
Then the duck started growing. As it grew, it began to yell. "Who dares," it roared, "sleep with my girlfriend IN MY PRESENCE?"
Tom decided not to point out that they hadn't actually gotten to the "sex" part yet and were just skinny-dipping. He backed out of the river, grabbing whatever clothing was in reach to cover himself.
Then the giant duck began to shoot lasers out of its eyes.
Tom began to run. The giant duck was obviously Ares. Ares terrified him.
As he ran, Aphrodite appeared again. She was naked. If that wasn't enough to make Tom freeze, she smiled at him. Not an average smile. More of an "I want you" smile.
Tom froze. She kissed him. It was long, it was beautiful.
Then she snatched the clothes he'd been using to cover his junk and said, "I need my dress back."
She disappeared, leaving Tom naked, disoriented, and about to be murdered by a giant duck-god.
Not the dream he was expecting.
Inspired equally by the quote above and by the Kip Moore song, "Somethin' 'Bout a Truck."