'Sorry I'm still getting used to the idea of my girlfriend being a super hero' Pete laughed as they walked through the park with their hot dogs.

'a bit of an exaduration?' Sam questioned,

'the super hero part of the girlfriend part?.... Oh c'mon you travel to other planets, to do battle with aliens hell bent on galactic domination, even if you don t wear a spandex outfit' he paused as they sat on a bench, 'although that might be something you wanna consider.'

Sam cut in, before she put her hot dog on the bench behind her look she smiled seriously 'I know this is hard for you, another guy would've freaked and ran away' she began.

'you didn't run when I stalked you' he interjected 'I just want you to appreciate the position I'm in here' he rubbed her shoulder.

Sam lent back slightly 'I do, believe me I do, and I'm really glad you stuck around.'

he cut her of again 'I'm glad to hear you say that, coz I put in a transfer to Colorado springs P.D.' he announced.

Sam's heart skipped a beat as the words sunk in, she loved Pete, he made her feel innocent and sweet, and for a moment she hesitated, before finally she moved in to kiss him. She then looked deep into his eyes and asked

'are you sure?' she asked, probably more to herself than him.

'I ve never been more sure of anything in my entire life' he admitted 'that's why I got you this' he pulled a small black box from his pocket, and opened it showing a ring.

Her face fell, and she exhaled deeply, at that moment, she realized she didn't love him enough, not enough for marriage and a house and children.

'oh my god' she sighed her face still holding horror.

'Sam?' he asked She stood and took a step back holding her hands up.

'oh god, I' ve made a big mistake, I've rushed it to much haven t I?' Pete looked up at her with longing eyes.

As she returned his intent look, she realised that he was her one chance at happiness, but is that enough?

She wondered 'no. no Pete its not that, its just, a really big decision, and I need time to think about it' she explained.

'ok, fine Sam, time, take time, I can wait, I'll wait forever if that's what you need' he put the box into her hand and clasped his over the top, he leaned down and pressed his lips to hers, a kiss that she didn t return.

A few hours later she found herself heading towards Daniels office, as she often did when she had a problem, she walked in and stood at Daniels desk, he looked up at her and kept writing notes on some alien device that had a similar dialect as earths masai culture

'hi sam' he said absent minded

'Daniel' she fiddled with her fingers, and he knew she had one of those big problems she needed to talk about, usually she would clam up and change her mind if he asked her directly and so he pretended not to pay attention

'what's new?' he asked.

She wrinkled her nose, and added a teethy smile as she winced,

'I need to talk'

'oh' Daniel added as he moved to her side of the desk,

'sam' he began at the same moment that Teal'c entered, usually Teal'c was perceptive but today he was quiet worked up and didn t notice the deep conversation that sam and Daniel had been sharing.

'I do not understand Krista's behaviour' he blurted anxiously.

Daniel looked at sam inquisitively,

Teal'c didn't share much about his personal life, but Daniel had met Krista earlier that week, she was a girl who lived in an apartment next to him. They'd been spending a little time together training. Daniel knew there was more to their relationship than Teal'c had admitted. Finally he put the pieces together in his head.

'yeah that's a common problem' he sighed as he crossed his arms and leant on his desk. 'most cultures on earth recognize that there's a significant gap between the experiences of men and women.' Daniel quickly thought of an explanation.

'among the masai the newly married men had to wear the clothes of his wife for a month, as a way of gaining insight to her life.' he explained.

'if only it were that simple' sam added thoughtfully,

Daniel paused for a moment and looked at her inquisitively before continuing.

'the point is while rituals and customs may vary, almost all cultures put pressure on adults to form bonding pairs' he added

Teal'c seemed to be paying more than the usual attention, and so Daniel continued

'in ancient Persia, if a girl died a virgin, they would marry her corpse of before her burial'

Sam momentarily distracted from her little world exclaimed

'that's horrible,' she screwed up her face.

He added a little humour feeling that she needed it

'the groom was usually payed quiet well'

Instead of a smile or even a hint of laughter, she started her complaint.

'its bad enough being on your own without every TV show and magazine ad telling you how abnormal it is.'

'I think that's what I said' Daniel looked confused.

'they make you afraid to be alone and then tell you to only settle for the romantic ideal., like that even exists in the real world! Either way you cant win she sounded more frustrated as her tone heated.' Slowly her face dropped.

Daniel raised his eyes, shot Teal'c a look and then looked back to sam 'how's things?' He questioned

'good' she tried her best at a blank expression. 'we were talking about Teal'c's friend' she defended herself

'I thought we were' he tried to save her the embarrassment.

'how do Jaffa couples handle problems?' Sam attempted to move the lime light of her.

'a problem between a man and a woman that cannot be resolved necessitates a pledge break, it must be requested by one and granted by the other' Teal'c explained as Sam raised her eyebrow.

'and if that doesn t work?' Daniel questioned.

'a weapon is required' Teal'c responded.

Sam and Daniel looked at each other and shifted nervously

'well please don t hurt her' Daniel smiled.

'I shall attempt to resolve it hastily' Teal'c bowed and left the room.

'so sam' Daniel shifted his gaze to her 'whats goin on?' the lent one arm on the desk and looked at her demandingly nothing she looked away yes, I believe that, of course you were talking about Krista he looked critically.

Sam gave in knowing he would get it out of her eventually. 'Pete asked me to marry him she exclaimed.'

'oh, oh well that's good' he nodded and she smiled nervously.

'or not' he added in a question type form.

She hung her head, and left the room, Daniel sat and pondered the new news.

A few days later _

Carolyn the new doctor had ordered sam off active duty for a week, as she was showing symptoms of stress related anxiety, but allowed her to still come in and study whatever alien object she wished. Sam relucticantly, left the SGC and headed home.

She walked in her front door, and lazily threw her bag by her feet as she slumped into her lounge chair. She dropped her head back and closed her eyes, she was exhausted, it hadn t been a busy day but it was defiantly emotionally draining.

It had been almost two weeks since Pete had asked her to marry him, and once again he'd phoned for her answer and she'd tactfully changed the subject. Somehow answering this question seemed to be harder than anything shed done in her life so far, rigging Naquda generators, and rerouting electrical currents, that she could do. fighting one of Anubis drones even seemed to be child s play compared to this decision.

Pete, there was nothing wrong with the man, he was a good guy, a little possessive perhaps but a good guy in general, he loved her. She loved him, didn t she? And yet something held her back Pete would make her laugh and go weak at the knees and make her act like a child, in some ways. he was spontaneous and romantic, and everything she could ve asked for, and yet, something was missing, there was some sort of dissatisfaction, he didn't make her feel whole, it was her, she held herself back, she was keeping her heart for someone else, well not so much keeping it as already gave it.

It was his fault, that damn man stole it years ago.

The phone rang, she picked it up reluctantly. carter! the voice of her favourite CO asked cheerfully.

'sir' she sounded more astonished than intended. Of course the man would ring on cue as soon as she thought of him.

'surprised much?' he grunted.

'no sir, how have you been?' she composed herself.

'since this morning, good, you? uh sorry, good, I guess' she mumbled '

'yes, good, sounds good' he replied sarcastically.

'sorry sir, I just uhh no I'm good she tried to sound happier'

'ok, yeah, well we kinda noticed that you've been of, and were doing dinner tonight at my place, pizza Friday remember? so you coming?'

'uh I-I don t know,'

'I ve she began good I ll see you there, 5-00' the phone went dead.

Sam leaned back into her comfortable position on the couch and dropped the phone by her side, moments later she looked at the clock, it was already 4-15. She got up to get changed.

Sam pulled up in the driveway, and rested for a moment, eventually she climbed out of her car and headed for the door, she paused for a moment and rearranged the collar on her jacket, she raised her hand to knock and the door opened before her knuckles rested on the hard wood.

'sir?' she questioned as her facial expression rearranged.

'well today is the day for shock right' he smiled as he stepped back opening the door for her to enter come in carter. She smiled and nodded as she stepped past him.

She stood nervously in the entrance, why she was nervous she couldn t understand, but her thoughts had sent her mind into a astonished frenzy.

She flinched slightly as his hands touched her shoulders, he gently removed her jacket, very gentlemanly. But then he was always like that.

'thanks' she mumbled.

'boys' she nodded to Daniel and Teal'c who were standing with beers, she bounced on her heels and instantly felt that much more relaxed in their presence. Jack had quickly returned from the fridge with a beer and shoved It in her hands, as she walked over to the couches. Teal'c stood by the window, slightly slouching onto the wall, while Daniel had slumped into the couch, she sat beside him and smiled widely.

Before too long the pizza arrived and they were well into the movie.

Teal'c got up part way through to relieve himself. As he came back in the room he smiled to himself, sam had curled up almost asleep as she lent on Daniels arm, her beer had been traded in for a glass of wine, witch jack now stabilized as her hand had draped across his lap.

Teal'c picked up Daniels camera that was sitting on the bench and clicked it on his unsuspecting team mates, sam sighed softly as she opened her eyes to the flash, she instantly drew her wine to her mouth and gulped it down before leaning forward and refilling the glass.

Daniel noticing, that this would be her third glass, after the four beers she'd had, he tried to move the bottle away, inconspicusally. but sam noticed and greedily snatched the bottle back as she slid of the couch onto her knees. The three men shared meaningful looks, Sam wasn t usually much of a drinker but tonight she'd drunk allot, although she was a quiet drinker and hadn't really shown signs of anything more than a little tipsiness until now.

'hey carter, think that's enough yet?' jack tried to pry the bottle from her hands.

'no' she whined pulling it into her chest. And putting her back to him.

'sam?' Daniel rested his hand on her shoulder.

She looked up at him with sadden eyes, and sat slowly from the coutch to the ground.

'don't touch me Daniel' she ordered and she scooted closer to jacks legs.

'I do not believe major carter is in complete possession of her conscience mind' Teal'c noted.

'sam?' jack tried comforting her.

She lent her head back dropping it in his lap.

'yes sir?' she asked sounding rather pathetic.

He chuckled at her 'how's about you give Daniel that bottle?' he pried it from her hands and she reluctantly let go.

Daniel took the bottle into the kitchen.

Sam pulled herself up from her slump and twisted her body, draping one arm across jacks knees she let her face hang.

Jack shifted uncomfortably as he sat a little straighter.

'sam?' he sounded puzzled 'sam are you ok?'

'she is acting most peculiar, I believe she is hurt' Teal'c sounded a little concerned.

'no she s just crying,' jack mumbled

'I shall retrieve a cool cloth for her head' Teal'c nodded

'yeah, you do that' jack moaned as he reluctantly placed his hand on her head.

'hey, its not that bad, sam, we can fix it. Whatever it is.' he stumbled

She sobbed something incoherent into her arm and then looked up at him with teary eyes.

'I don t know what to do' she cried

'uhh yes.. Now I really I identify with uhh,' with that he slid of the lounge and allowed her to lean into his chest. 'I get that felling ..a lot, very often.'

She babbled things he couldn t understand, but he ummed and aahed and nodded in all the right spots, he heard Pete's name allot, every time it was mentioned he'd feel his heart tug, and then finally she finished her ramblings with a meaningful gaze, and ended with the word 'you'

his heart skipped a beat as he stared back into those big blue eyes of hers.

After a few seconds, she reached up and kissed him,

he pulled back and looked at her a little shocked before she tried again, more violently this time as she gripped at his neck and tried climbing onto his lap.

'carter! Carter no!' he mumbled in between short desperate kisses.

'Sam stop it' he ordered holding her wrists.

She'd pushed him onto his back and he continued his complaints 'carter, not like this you have a boyfriend!'

suddenly her weight disappeared as Teal'c lifted her up and dropped her on the couch, holding her arms as she continued to struggle for a moment.

Daniel then walked in the room with a blank look upon his face.

'what s going on?' he asked looking rather worried

'major carter was attacking O'Neill rather violently' Teal'c informed him

'she wasn't attacking me' he grumbled, 'she was kissing me' he admitted to the blank stares oh,

'oh you poor, poor poor poor man.' daniel smiled, it was quickly removed as jacks eyes squinted.

Daniel cleared his throat.

Sam shook free from Teal'c's grip and stormed towards the door, still bawling, almost tripping over the small step at the entrance. She frustratedly played with the locks on the door

'carter!' jack scrambled to his feet.

'leave me alone!' she shouted as she flung the door open.

'sam!' he yelled again

'its ok jack I got it' Daniel held up his hand before following sam to her car.

She was fumbling with the keys as she tried to fit them into the key hole.

'sam' Daniel asked as he held her shoulders and swung her around

'Daniel go away' she complained as she tried shoving him off

'no sam!' he shook her Daniel,

'let me go!' she tried her best drunken soldiers attack.

'right sam that's enough' Daniel pulled her roughly to the passenger door and shoved her in the seat slamming the door closed.

he climbed in the drivers seat and started the car.

'I'm cold' he heard he whimper.

He huffed and looked at her understandingly. Removing his jacket he draped it over her and she snuggled into it, wiping her tears with its collar. Daniel looked at her and laughed gently.

'sam, wanna talk?'

'I don't wanna marry Pete' she complained.

'then don't'

'but I want that '

'you want to marry him?'

'not him' she snapped

'ahh, I see' he smiled

'why can't I have what I want?'

Daniel smiled at the irony. Sam had been his rock when Shara'e disappeared, and now finally he felt like it was his turn.

She sobbed into his jacket most of the way home, he understood her frustration, although he'd never experienced this in particular before, seeing as he wasn't in the air force. But he defiantly knew what it was like loving something you cant have, firstly with Shara'e and then Sarah. He'd heard jack complain for the same reasons, and besides that he saw them both in their little ways holding back.

He wanted to help he felt like he did when he was acceded, like now. He'd experienced such frustration, in not being able to help the ones he loved, just as he did now.

As he pulled in Sam's drive he looked intently at her. She didn t notice and only seemed to cry harder at the silence. Reluctantly he tore his gaze away from her and stepped our of her car. He opened her door and pulled her out gently, he semi carried her into the house with her arm draped over his shoulders. He walked her up towards her room and lowered her to the bed.

'daannieell' she whined.

'sam, just take time to think about it, he doesn't need a answer right now.' Daniel advised

'its been two weeks' she sobbed, as he removed her shoes.

'then I think you know what to do' he looked into her eyes.

As he stared, her tears slowly lessened and her breathing evened.

'I'm scared,' she whispered

'of what sam?' he tucked her legs under the quilt and pulled it up.

'jack wont retire, what if Pete's my last chance?'

'you cant marry him for that' Daniel noted pushing her head towards her pillow

'I do love him' she added.

Daniel held her hand rubbing small soothing circled on it with one hand while his other hand stroked her forehead.

'is that enough?' he asked, looking rather meaningfully.

she mumbled something incoherent as she closed her heavy eyes

'I hope so' she added.

'go to sleep sam you'll think more clearly in the morning.'

he didn t move until her breathing had evened and slowed, and as he saw her eyes flutter under their lids, he knew shed finally fallen asleep,

he stood slowly un-entangling her fingers from his, he pulled a pen from his pocket and scribbled her a note before leaving.
***********