Ok. So the season finale really annoyed me… for being a genius Brennan can be really stupid… I'm also really tired of the whole notion that people are going by that Brennan's the one who's really suffering and Booth should be thankful and understanding of her leaving and keeping themselves safe… I had always promised myself that I wasn't going to ever jump on the bandwagon of finale stories but after reading so many 'poor Brennan' type stories I just had to put this one out there since she really annoyed me this episode and in a lot of the episodes this season… Let me know what you think...

So this one is a little of what's got to be going through Booth's head after...

Disclaimer: If I owned Bones Brennan would have been smarter in the season finale and throughout the season…

I'm also hoping to get the next chapter of "Message in the Circles" up later this week if any of you read that one.

He collapsed onto the steps of the Church next to the empty carrier. He could only keep seeing the car drive away from him. It was a sight burned into his brain that just kept playing on a loop through his head.

He was completely numb. He didn't feel anything except for the feeling of the cold hard ground seeping through his pants. He hasn't felt so numb since his sniper days when he had to pretend people were targets to do his job.

He wasn't really seeing anything anymore either except for the car driving away from him with Christine and Brennan.

His mind was empty. He just kept seeing them driving away from him. He hardly noticed when it started to get dark, still seeing the car driving away in his mind. It was going to be a long time before that image would stop haunting him; if it ever did.

He eventually realized how dark it was and knew he should head back to the house. He got up from the steps and quickly collapsed again when his legs failed to hold himself up from the exhaustion he was feeling because of the emptiness. He gave it a few moments before rising again slowly. This time his legs supported him, barely but they did. He picked up the empty carrier and made his way to the street to hail a cab to bring him home, not that it was much of a home right now to him.

When a cab pulled up to the curb he climbed into the back with the empty carrier and gave the driver the address. He shut down his mind again so that he couldn't break down or feel anything. He didn't notice when the driver pulled up in front of the house—because that's all it was now. It wasn't a home at all when he was alone—until he heard the driver speaking to him and telling him that they were there. He took money out of his pocket, not paying attention to how much it actually was, handed it up to the driver and got out, taking the empty carrier with him.

He went in the door and dropped the carrier by it before moving to the couch and lying down on it. He didn't really want to go any further into the house and he knew he wouldn't be sleeping anyway. He also knew he should probably call Flynn, but he didn't have the energy to do so. It may make him look worse later but Flynn would find out soon enough anyway that she was gone and he knew he was in no shape for an interrogation right now. He knew nothing and he knew it but they would never believe him anyway even if he did call them. They would have said that was just part of the plan.

He was just lying there staring at the ceiling and now he couldn't stop the thoughts running through his head.

He was angry. He didn't want to be, but he was.

He was angry at her.

If she really had wanted to run he should have been with them. She should never have shut him out… again. They should have stayed and fought it. She should have trusted him.

Hasn't he proven to her enough that he could keep them safe? Instead she goes off on her own making her look even more guilty and taking Christine with her. She's a fugitive and he knows she'll probably be charged with kidnapping and endangering the welfare of a minor and those charges have the potential to hold even if he didn't want to press them—which he wouldn't—but it wouldn't matter; they'd have to be pressed because she's a fugitive.

She's now on the run. Pelant can trace her easily. She's famous for crying out loud. Her face is known. There's no way she can stay hidden. She let her father convince her that it was best to run. What are they both idiots?

He's angry with Max for convincing her that running is the best choice for them, for tearing them apart and not talking to him first. He always thinks running is the answer. Him running screwed her over once. It's likely to screw her over again, but this time it wouldn't just be her being screwed over it would be Christine and him too.

He should have slugged Max when he had the chance.

She listened to him and trusted him even though she didn't even want him near Christine in the first place after that park incident. Now she suddenly trusts him to keep her safe more than him.

Was she ever going to trust him? After all this time it didn't seem likely to him anymore.

He's angry with himself.

Now that it has happened he should have seen it coming and he's furious with himself for not catching on before.

It should have been obvious to him. She's good at leaving him. It's one of the things she's best at along with Forensic Anthropology and writing.

Now that he thinks back though it's obvious that she was going to leave.

She had no interest in coming to the baptism and then suddenly she did. She's always mocking him in his beliefs and she suddenly wants to take part in it. She hadn't even wanted her to be baptized in the first place. She decided to 'let him' if he gave in to how she wanted to give birth. That should have been his first clue that she was planning on something and that it was going to hurt.

His second clue was when she had told him that they weren't only together because of Christine and that she loves him. That definitely should have raised the flags. Sure, he knows she loves him—or at least he thinks she does—but they never say it too often to the other. She seems to only really say it when she's hurt him or in this case about to hurt him and knows that she's about to hurt him. First there was the house issue where she couldn't see why he thought they should live together and then why he wasn't just going to move into HER place. Then there was this time where she decides that it's easier to not trust him and leave him again.

He wonders why it's so easy for her to keep leaving him behind: first Guatemala, then Maluku, now this. At least the first two times he knew where she was and she didn't take their child with her. Now he loses one of his children too. What's Parker going to say when he finds out that there's no telling if or when they'll ever come back. Is Parker going to be mad with him for not being able to keep them safe or for not seeing that they were leaving until it was too late? Is he going to be mad at Brennan for taking away his baby sister and running? We don't see each other nearly enough though so will he even find out that they left?

He now finds himself questioning how he can be called dad. He hardly feels like one, especially now. He missed out on most of Parker's life. He didn't think he was going to miss out on his daughter's life too, but thinking about it now he wonders if he was ever really a part of it to begin with. Sure he was there, but it was Brennan making all the decisions. She made the appointment with the financial advisor and it was only casually mentioned to him, thankfully this time before the actual appointment, unlike with the ultrasound when he found out at the crime scene that they were having a girl like it was just a normal everyday occurrence to her and not significant and that it didn't matter if he was there or not. She decided to 'let him' baptize her if he gave in to how she wanted to give birth. She decided on the caregivers and even though she never fully said it he knew she blamed him for the incident in the park with Max for having convinced her to let Max take care of his granddaughter.

Could he really call himself a father at all?

And now she's gone… again. This time with their daughter. When will he learn to never get too comfortable with his life? He should know by now that when he does it always ends up in flames and he gets burnt. This time is probably the worst burn of them all.

He wished he could shut off his mind and go back to being empty again. He didn't want to be angry with her but he couldn't accept the fact that she ran again and that after all this time still didn't trust him and decide to trust her father who she's never trusted before. He really wanted to go back to feeling empty. It was better than angry or depressed.

He was tired of staring at the ceiling so threw one of his arms over his eyes and squeezed them shut.

He saw the car driving away from him again and snapped his lids open, uncovering his face.

It was going to be a long night. It was going to be a lot of long nights…

Hope you liked... let me know what you think... right now I have this set as a one-shot but if you want more leave a review and ask... I've got a couple ideas for things that could be added and will take requests with it too...