The Missed Call Chronicles- Edward's voicemail message...
Some of the ideas in this were inspired by the indifferent child of earth's 51 things Emmett Cullen is not allowed to do
This takes place in Eclipse when Edward was away and had Alice hold Bella hostage for the weekend. In the actual book, there was no answering machine for Edward's phone. This may be what it would have been like if there was an answering machine…
Alice was abruptly by my side, her hand held out for the phone, but I was already dialing. She saw the number.
"I don't think he'll have his phone on him," she said.
"I'll leave a message."
The phone rang 4 times, and I suspected there not to be an answering machine—I was wrong.
"Uh…hi," Edward's recorded voice said. "Bella is making me do this. Yeah…I'm not—EMMET?! WHAT ARE YOU DOING WITH ONE OF BELLA'S BRAS??" my mouth fell open with horror. What was Emmett doing with one of my bras? I heard the mumble of Emmett's answer in the background.
"I don't care if you—Jasper's what? Pants, why?" there was a short pause for Emmett's answer. Edward spoke again. "No, I'm not giving you my hair gel…no. EMMETT STOP BITING THE FRUIT! I TOLD YOU BEFORE THEY WILL NOT TURN INTO VAMPIRIC FRUIT!!"
"The what?" I asked the recording for no reason. Alice seemed just as confused as I did. She had her ear by the phone as well. I started getting worried. I couldn't understand the string of profanities Edward screamed next. After a while, it made sense again—sort of.
"Ugh, sorry, anyway…It's Edward Cullen. I'm not—EMMETT! THAT'S IT! WHEN YOU THINK OF THOSE THINGS, I'M GOING TO BE FORCED TO…ARGH!!" there was a loud crash that made me flinch. There was a short streak of silence. Then, the recording spoke again.
"AND STAY OUT!!" then, there was the beep indicating for me to start my message.
"Edward, I would really, really rather not know. Anyways…you are in trouble," I said slowly emphasizing each word. "Enormous trouble. Angry grizzly bears are going to look tame next to what is waiting for you at home." I snapped the phone shut, and handed the phone back to Alice.
"I'm done" I declared. I walked off hoping to clear my head of Edward's voicemail message.