I own ABSOLUTELY nothing
I think that should suffice...
LotR woke up Fluffy...
Aragorn was wandering the woods of Lothlorien, thoroughly bored. He needed something to do...
Wrong wish, Estel-la...
The newly named Estella strode purposefully back to the rest of the Fellowship. He desperately needed some conditioner, and he knew just who he had to find...
Legolas was staring into Galadriel's mirror, admiring his beautiful reflection. Haldir soon joined him to admire his own beautiful reflection, but Legolas punched him. He couldn't have anyone taking up his mirror space, and, besides, Haldir was a rival to his prettiness.
"Guess you won't look so pretty with a black eye, will ya?" he asked the other Elf's unconscious body.
"Leggy?" screeched a voice.
"Yes?" answered 'Leggy' distractedly, unwilling to tear his gaze away from his prettiness.
"Leggy, your hair's always so beautiful..."
"Well, of course. No-one is prettier than me."
"I was just wondering if you could give me some tips...?"
"NO! NO-ONE MAY BE PRETTIER THAN ME!"
"Well, no-one could ever be as pretty as you..."
Legolas decided that, as they were finally talking sense, he should find out who this was. Probably a Fangirl...
He screamed.
"Whats wrong, Leggy?" wheedled Estella. "Don't you like my new look?"
Although admittedly it made a change that Aragorn had had a bath and had changed his clothes, a purple mini-skirt and a green halter top was not really what Leggy needed to see on an empty stomach. Especially when teamed with bubblegum pink hair...
"...and so anyway, I thought I needed a change, and I'd really like your advice, and – OMG, are those marshmallows?!?"
They were indeed marshmallows, the only substance known to Elf to give a protective pillow against the outside world and horrible colour clashes.
Unfortunately, they were addictive to every Race of Middle-earth, outlawed in all Kingdoms, and classed as an illicit substance.
Unfortunately, again, Pippin – sorry Pippa – had just been fluffiefied...
"MARSHMALLOWS!! MUST HAVE MARSHMALLOWS!"
Unfortunately, continued, Christina Gimliera had just arrived on the scene...
"AND THEY'RE PURPLE!!"
Shut up, Pippa.
"DON'T YOU TELL ME TO SHUT UP, YOU [BEEPBEEPBEEPBEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEP]!"
Everyone clutched their ravaged ears, as Pippa's high-pitched screeching got higher and... err... pitchier...
"PITCHIER'S NOT EVEN A WORD, YOU PATHETIC [BEEP]ING EXCUSE FOR AN AUTHOR!"
Want some purple Marshmallows Pippa?
"PURPLE!"
I'll take that as a yes then...
END OF CHAPTER ONE
Can the insaneness get more insaner? Can I learn to use existing words? Or must I continually make up fraffles, in my Happyland?
Tune in next week, if you dare!
I think that should suffice...
LotR woke up Fluffy...
Aragorn was wandering the woods of Lothlorien, thoroughly bored. He needed something to do...
Wrong wish, Estel-la...
The newly named Estella strode purposefully back to the rest of the Fellowship. He desperately needed some conditioner, and he knew just who he had to find...
Legolas was staring into Galadriel's mirror, admiring his beautiful reflection. Haldir soon joined him to admire his own beautiful reflection, but Legolas punched him. He couldn't have anyone taking up his mirror space, and, besides, Haldir was a rival to his prettiness.
"Guess you won't look so pretty with a black eye, will ya?" he asked the other Elf's unconscious body.
"Leggy?" screeched a voice.
"Yes?" answered 'Leggy' distractedly, unwilling to tear his gaze away from his prettiness.
"Leggy, your hair's always so beautiful..."
"Well, of course. No-one is prettier than me."
"I was just wondering if you could give me some tips...?"
"NO! NO-ONE MAY BE PRETTIER THAN ME!"
"Well, no-one could ever be as pretty as you..."
Legolas decided that, as they were finally talking sense, he should find out who this was. Probably a Fangirl...
He screamed.
"Whats wrong, Leggy?" wheedled Estella. "Don't you like my new look?"
Although admittedly it made a change that Aragorn had had a bath and had changed his clothes, a purple mini-skirt and a green halter top was not really what Leggy needed to see on an empty stomach. Especially when teamed with bubblegum pink hair...
"...and so anyway, I thought I needed a change, and I'd really like your advice, and – OMG, are those marshmallows?!?"
They were indeed marshmallows, the only substance known to Elf to give a protective pillow against the outside world and horrible colour clashes.
Unfortunately, they were addictive to every Race of Middle-earth, outlawed in all Kingdoms, and classed as an illicit substance.
Unfortunately, again, Pippin – sorry Pippa – had just been fluffiefied...
"MARSHMALLOWS!! MUST HAVE MARSHMALLOWS!"
Unfortunately, continued, Christina Gimliera had just arrived on the scene...
"AND THEY'RE PURPLE!!"
Shut up, Pippa.
"DON'T YOU TELL ME TO SHUT UP, YOU [BEEPBEEPBEEPBEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEP]!"
Everyone clutched their ravaged ears, as Pippa's high-pitched screeching got higher and... err... pitchier...
"PITCHIER'S NOT EVEN A WORD, YOU PATHETIC [BEEP]ING EXCUSE FOR AN AUTHOR!"
Want some purple Marshmallows Pippa?
"PURPLE!"
I'll take that as a yes then...
END OF CHAPTER ONE
Can the insaneness get more insaner? Can I learn to use existing words? Or must I continually make up fraffles, in my Happyland?
Tune in next week, if you dare!