The Current Happenings of Char and Val

Chapter One: Shock

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Thank God!

Praise Allah!

Hare Krishna!

I was home. No classes the next day, no work, no nothin'. I was free.

I felt like screaming, I was so happy. But like a normal human being I kicked off my shoes by the door and threw my bag on the ground.

"Val, I'm home," I called out to my roommate, I didn't receive a reply.

This was normal actually, for her to be gone for hours without contacting me. The first few times she did it though, the police got involved. I shrugged it off, and went to my room to change.

From beauty consultant to a lazy slob in .14 seconds, I changed into yoga pants and a La Salle sweatshirt.

I wandered back out into the living room and immediately ordered pizza.

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Why does it take pizza forever to arrive? They say it's gonna be 45 minutes, but it's more like an hour and a half.

Like seriously Dominos, it's not that hard to throw some tomatoes and cheese at an over-sized slice of bread.

I even left my house to take my damn dog on a walk, PIZZA SHOULDN'T TAKE THAT LONG.

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Taking Winnie on a walk wasn't such a good idea after all. By the time I got back, the pizza guy had left the pizza at the door, since I paid with my credit card earlier. The lid was slightly open; an army of ants were slowly making their way to the box and around my ankles.

I carefully picked up my dog and pizza box and fumbled around for the keys. I eventually got in and heaved a heavy sigh while kicking the door close.

Oddly enough, my television was on when I came in, although I'm pretty sure I turned it off before I left.

I must be getting old, I say at 21.

But the fact my television was on, when I'm sure I turned it off, wasn't my current problem. My current problem was that I had semi-warm pizza in my hand as Star Trek was playing in the background, with Zachary Quinto looking lovely, and I was just standing around.

What is wrong with me?

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I just inhaled 4 pieces of pizza in 15 minutes. That fact hit me like a hurricane, as I pinched and prodded my newly formed food baby. The worst part was that I wanted 4 more.

Like really?

Who eats 8 slices of pizza in one sitting, that's like an entire box.

I waddled to my bathroom mirror and looked myself up and down. My eyes darted to my blah hair, to my meh complexion and then to my pudgy belly.

Being 5'8, I'm always on that edge of being tall or short, depending on who you're talking to. This caused my dieting in high school to fluctuate. Some days I looked like a healthy teenager, then other days I looked like I belong on those sweeping shots of obesity in America.

This was one of my obesity downs.

I should really work out more.

But that would have to wait, I can hear the siren call of a beautiful pizza maiden awaiting me.

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About an hour later, I was snacking on some Twinkies and watching Harry Potter, when a very loud knock came to the door.

I nearly vomited, I cannot stand sudden occurrences.

I jumped from the couch, and ran for the door. Valarie stood in the doorway, her black hair was in a sloppy ponytail, and sweat was dripping of her face.

Ew

"We need to go, like now," she panted.

I nodded and reached for my shoes. Val tugged at my wrist and drug me outside of our apartment and out into the parking lot.

Once we got to her car, a 1980 Volvo, she threw me the keys and shouted for me to drive to Wharton Forest. The entire situation was very strange. Although Valarie was usually very spontaneous, she was always very excited about what we were about to plan. Now, she just seemed terrified and panicked.

We came to a red light a few blocks away from the apartment complex. I turned off the radio and put on my best serious face.
"Explain," I demanded, my voice did not come out a threatening as I wanted.

Val cleared her throat, and begun her speech.

"Okay, so I was on a forum about possible haunting cases and found one on the outskirts of Wharton, and I just HAD to investigate it. That's why I wasn't at work today by the way,"

God, that's the one thing I hate about her. Her odd obsession with the supernatural, it was expensive, time consuming and inconclusive. She continued to ramble on about hearing strange noises or some shit like that.

That was, until something caught my attention.

"…The Fellowship from Lord of the Rings was there. They said they were lost, and I freaked out. I told them to stay put while I went to get help, and that's when I came to the apartment."

I scrunched up my face into a tight lipped scowl.

"So…you met up with a lost cosplay group?"

"No, no the real deal Fellowship."

"Like the actors?"

She scoffed, "NO, the real goddamn Fellowship, what don't you understand about that?"

I rolled my eyes, "Maybe the fact that they are works of fiction and this is real life, we're going home,"

Valarie began shouting at me in Japanese or something and GRABBED FOR THE WHEEL I KID YOU NOT.

We served and swiveled on the highway, luckily it was pretty open since it was 4 am on a Thursday. I eventually was able to smack her hands away, after agreeing to search for the 'Fellowship' in the open wilderness.

If I get raped, I'm gonna be seriously pissed.

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We eventually got there at a quarter pass five. The sky was a mixture of reds, pinks, oranges and yellows. It would be a really nice sunrise hike, if I wasn't so angry.

I was cold, bloated, tired, annoyed and had to take a dump.

Valarie was scanning the trees and occasionally cupped her hands to shout "The Ring." If anything, that would drive them away, since their mission was to keep the ring hidden until destroyed.

We stopped for a quick rest, after I begged her to. Asian girls have tons of energy apparently, because I looked at her face, and no evidence of sleep deprivation was on her pale skin.

God, she was so pretty I felt like crying sometimes.

Like stop Valarie, leave some guys to for me.

Like, stop.

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We found clues of an obvious campsite; the wood was piled and smoked. Valarie nearly peed herself she was so happy, until I said it could be anybody's.

Then she punched me in the gut.

Her Asian energy source was coming to an end.

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We wandered, and wandered and wandered some more. I felt like fighting her right now, I was so mad.

That was until, we saw the large hairy feet of a hobbit walk towards us. He looked very scared, his eyes darted between us. Valarie practically shot in to the sky; her energy was replenished.

I never had to crap so much in life until that moment; the combination of fear, adrenaline, and bloating nearly killed me.

That was, until an arrow came flying by my head.

That almost killed me too.

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A/N: Hey, hey, hey. I was stuck in a rut with my other fanfic…so I began another.*bishie blush*

What's a better cure to get you out of writers block than writing something new? Plus, I wanted to do a first-person POV. In many fics that I have read, that mind of the character is always so organized; it's like a clean tile floor. My mind is like when people put peanut shells in the ground, or like a hoarder's house, when anything could pop out at any time. So, I created Charlotte as a scatter brained chick (possibly in a subtle self-insert idk).

Enough rambling, I hope you enjoyed this you beautiful reader you. I hope you also enjoyed the chocolates I sent you too. #idon'townlordoftheringscriesonmyr oof