Author: The Mocking Finch
Title: Looking To the Sky
Author Notes: N/A
Disclaimer: I do not own Yu-Gi-Oh! Period. Or exclamation point. Whatever.
Just a day, just an, ordinary day.
Just trying to get by.
I am but a weak Demon, beaten like a dog and treated like a monster. Nobody wants to look at me. I'm hideous, they say. My mental comprehension is too small, they claim. That is why I am this way. That is why I cannot fly and am unable to speak. That is why I have taken to killing ruthlessly any worthless being who crosses my path. People seem to need an explanation for everything. They cannot just let things be.
My wings lay shriveled and crippled at my side, refusing to grasp the turbulent air that flows unseen all around. The air teases me. The quiet zephyrs blow against by wings, begging them to stretch out and catch the mischievous wind, and then let that breeze carry me to the heavens. I cannot though. I long every day for freedom from this wretched thing called gravity. I want to be what I was born to be; a Demon who soars with his comrades, fighting for control of the skies against the Angels.
But, alas, this is just an ordinary day.
Just a boy, just an, ordinary boy, but,
He was looking to the sky,
I suppose, it was an ordinary day, until that Angel came trotting, gallantly along the path that led to the willow tree. My willow tree. This little fool must be awfully brave and stupid to wandering around my domain. Although I am fiercely protective of my territory, another one of my lovely traits is not caring. I could care less if one of the Angels set foot upon this terrain, I'll kill them instantly.
Oh goodie, another contemptible forsaken saint's throat to slit. I lazily leaned back into the hard bark of my willow tree, waiting for the helpless imposter to round the corner and face Death.
Of course when he did eventually turn the corner, he wasn't exactly what I was hoping to kill. No. He didn't deserve to die.
Gorgeous, thick white hair fell like snow upon his shoulders, outlining his pale round face. Contrasting greatly to his otherwise albino appearance, were his bright orbs of delicious, chocolate brown eyes. He looked so like me, but yet… Not really… We were so alike and different at the same time.
"Hello there!" He beamed. When he smiled, he radiated such a powerful intensity, shining like the beautiful Angel his is, that it was as if the sun was burning right in front of me. He practically fell down trying to sit by me and giggled. "I'm sorry; I'm a bit clumsy you see…"
I just sat there, mesmerized by his captivating aura, and completely surprised that he, an Angel of all things, would come and speak to me. Not even my fellow Demons talk to me anymore. And he seemed incredible sincere about it too.
He tilted his head innocently. "What's your name?"
I shrugged nonchalantly. He giggled a little. "Can't you speak?"
I hesitated, then shook my head slowly, frowning. Under normal circumstances, this naïve Angel would already be dead by now, but… Something was different…. He was different, from all the other Angels. The Angels strut about the skies like they own the damn thing. They say they do, but in reality, it was God's wish to have both Angels and Demons soar through the heavens. To be equal. But complications with the underworld arose and we were no longer allowed to go above a certain height. Or so the Angels say.
"Oh… I'm sorry… " He hung his head for a moment, but then retained his exuberant nature. "Would you like a name?"
I stared in awe and opened my eyes wide in surprise. He would… give me a name? One of my very own?
Seeing the look on my face, he grimaced. "It's okay if you don't want to…"
I immediately nodded furiously. Yes! I would love a name!
He glowed. "Alright then!" He thought for a moment, scratching his down like white hair, and then something dawned on him. He smiled, "How 'bout Bakura?"
Bakura… I digested the information that was given to me. Bakura. I liked it. I liked they way it was constructed, and the way it just seemed to roll off the Angel's tongue. I nodded adamantly, attempting a smile, something I hadn't done in a long time.
This little Angel just seemed to burst with happiness. "Okay Bakura! I'm Ryou!"
Ryou… I liked that too…
As he asked if I would come along,
I started to realize,
That everyday he finds just what he's looking for,
Like a shooting star, he shines,
And he said,
"Take my hand,
Live while you can.
Don't you feel your dreams are right in the palm of your hand?"
"Hey 'kura! Wanna come fly with me?" He cocked his head again, blinking through shimmering brown eyes.
I was taken aback, nervously fluttering broken black wings, trying to say, I'm sorry Ryou… I can't fly…Forgive me sweet Angel… My expression faded and I hung my head in sorrow.
With some sort of surprising relief, Ryou understood right away and a loving look of kindness appeared on his gentle face. Without further delay, he scooped me up from behind, tucking his arms snugly under my arms, careful not to disturb my tender wings under his pleasant weight.
"Don't worry 'kura! I won't take you far." I wasn't worried though. I trusted this little Angel with my soul.
He unfolded his wings with such force, some of the white down feathers scattered around our bodies. He crouched down, beating his wings vehemently, until, finally, we were able to lift off from the earth.
And as he spoke, he spoke ordinary words,
Though they did not feel.
For I felt what I had not felt before.
You'd swear those words could heal,
As we flew through the heavens, I felt his warm breath brush over my skin as he whispered words of comfort in my ear. He told me not to be afraid, he told me many things, most of the likes I have forgotten. All I really cared to hear was the sound of his voice. Sweet and creamy, it tore through all the agony and blackness in my mind, like holy water through a vampire's pale flesh.
After a while, Ryou eventually murmured, "I'm gonna let go now 'kura! Don't be afraid, I'll catch you if you fall."
He let go.
The descent was so fast and unexpected; I wasn't entirely prepared for it. The great sensation of falling was so incredible, and I couldn't really grasp upon the reality that I would eventually fall to my death if I didn't do something to save myself.
As I looked up into those eyes,
His vision borrows mine.
And to know he's no stranger, for I feel I've,
Held him for all of time.
As I was falling into my own illusions of infinite fear and despair, I saw the merry Angel flying by my side, his beautiful brown eyes full of hope. Ryou had faith in me. Ryou believed in me.
A dawning realization grew in my mind. No one has ever believed in me before… Something was beginning to expand and evolve in my heart. An unknown emotion took root and flourished within the fathomless complex of forbidding that was my soul.
My withered wings twitched, a rippling sensation pulsed under my skin as warm blood rushed to fuel the lifeless leather wings that were unfolding slowly on my back.
It was miraculous. Life was gradually returning to my wings, as they tentatively reached out to grasp the raging wind.
All of a sudden, my wings shot open, full and healed, catching the blusters and gales within their leather pockets. And, just as quickly as it had happened, I was buffeted backward by the amazing force of the gust, landing askew into the warmth of Ryou's arms.
Ryou smiled compassionately, "Don't worry 'kura! Stuff like this happens all the time. Try again."
I couldn't help but smile as I arranged myself in his arms for another go. When I was ready, Ryou threw me into the air and I let my wings capture the wind again, this time bringing my wings down hard against the breeze, allowing me to sort of glide with the current.
I did it.
I couldn't believe it. I was flying. I was flying. It was so unfathomable; I almost lost balance and fell.
And he said,
"Take my hand,
Live while you can.
Don't you feel your dreams are right in the palm of your hand?
In the palm of your hand."
Please come with me,
See what I see.
Touch the stars for,
Time will not flee,
Time will not flee,
Can you see?
As swift as lightning, Ryou flew beside me and grabbed my hand. "C'mon 'kura! Come fly with me!" Before I could say yes, Ryou flew in front of me, motioning for me to follow. I did with great pleasure, and we flew together like nobody was watching, twisting and turning through the vast reaches of the sky, and caressing the cottony clouds as the stars shined above us. Like beacons, they beckoned us to their bright light, glowing with their intense rays of power from afar, yet, looking so small to us here on earth. We flew so high, it was as if we could touch the stars, and capture their beautiful brilliance.
I was laughing like mad, caught in the joy of being loved. This great new sound that resonated from my throat seemed to engulf me within its embrace, and fill me with hope.
I was happy. Content. This ordinary Angel had saved me from the nothing I had become. And I loved him for it.
Later that night, I laid with him under the solemn willow tree, his head resting on my chest, his breathing slow and soft. I felt what I had not felt before, an emotion I could not name. I don't think there is such a name for something of this magnitude. I wanted to lie here I this moment with Ryou, stroking silver silk hair, and feeling the warmth of his body against mine.
A gentle note pierced the silence that encompassed us, as Ryou started to sing an old angelic prayer.
Ryou's sweet, elegant voice blended into the hushed air that surrounded us, its harmonious melody melting my conscience and dragging me into the depths of sleep.
Just a dream, just an, ordinary dream,
As I wake in bed.
And the boy that had, ordinary boy, oh,
Was it all in my head?
Did he ask if I would come along?
It all seemed so real.
Waking up the next morning was one of the most terrifying things I've ever had to experience. That and witnessing the death of the precious little Angel I found missing the next morning.
I tried to regain conciseness, rubbing my eyes groggily, blinking and trying to take in my surroundings, hoping to see the great big, white ball of joy, singing happily with the birds.
But Ryou wasn't there.
A sickening thought squeezed its way into the corners of my mind,
He was never real. A figment of your own pathetic imagination.
No… No, that can't be true. I felt him. He was here.
Where is he then?
I… I don't know…. I started to twitch involuntarily, something in my heart was melting, and it felt like molten lava was dripping around my organs.
But I looked to the door I saw the boy,
Standing there with a deal, and he said,
All of a sudden, I heard a bright, loud voice break me out of my pensive and depressing thoughts.
"Morning Bakura!" I looked up, and there was Ryou, smiling enthusiastically, carelessly balancing on one of the gloomy branches of the willow tree.
I couldn't help but grin at the Angel's foolishness, and also at the relief of knowing he was still here. He was still with me. I swiftly flew under Ryou's branch, foreseeing Ryou's promised fall.
The branches rattled and the leaves shook as Ryou tripped on his own feet and landed awkwardly in my arms.
"Sorry 'bout that 'kura…" He tilted his head up, so that his enchanting brown eyes were staring into my stern brown ones, a look of peace seemingly forever etched into his round face.
I shook my head sagely, smiling bemusedly as I saw the corners of Ryou's slender lips turn upward into yet another smile.
Gathering all the energy I could muster, I opened my mouth to speak, for the first time in years, and although I slurred and my words were sloppy, it was still something of an achievement
I leaned closer, so that my mouth was almost touching his ear, and whispered, "Th-th-thank… you, R-Ryou…"
Ryou's joy looked as if to have no end. He grabbed my shoulders, and embraced me affectionately, gently stroking locks of icy white hair.
And the strangest thing happened; his shoulders started to shake violently, and hushed sobs with sugary tears soon followed.
I was alarmed at first, he was crying so hard, but then he murmured, silently into my ear. "No…. No, Bakura. Thank you." He wrapped his arms around me tighter, letting his tears gather on my shoulder.
I squeezed Ryou as hard as I could, thinking that, if I let go, he would vanish into thin air, and I would never see him again.
This pain, we shared. The pain of never being loved or accepted. Ryou, the stupid naïve Angel, ridiculously believing in the impossible. Me, the deformed, forlorn Demon, angry and vengeful toward every being that condemned me. We were one in the same. No matter how different we appeared at first, Ryou being cheerful and high-spirited, me being quiet and dark, we are very much alike. We shared a bond that could only be broken by death.
I found out later that death couldn't destroy a connection like ours.
The Demons… The Demons slaughtered my Angel… Precious, precious Ryou died violently, something I know didn't want… Ryou… My Ryou, was taken away from me… Like everything else I love, he was snatched from me… By a terrible thief called fate.
It's because I'm a Demon, isn't it? It's because of this accursed god I'm supposed to worship, isn't it? This black serpent that follows me around like a damning shadow and swallows me in its blackness, taking away all the hope that's left in my cold heart.
Angelic history states that when an Angel dies, they go up to Heaven and serve God…
I bet that's where Ryou is…. Serving God, and watching over me, like a Guardian Angel…
Ryou… I miss you so….
"Take my hand,
Live while you can.
Don't you feel your dreams are right in the palm of your hand?
In the palm of your hand,
In the palm of your hand."
Just a day, just an, ordinary day.
Just trying to get by.
Just a boy, just an, ordinary boy but,
He was looking to, the sky…
Sometimes, I'll look to the sky and I will see my sweet Ryou flying happily among the eagles. Of course, it's only an illusion. The perfect illusion for my tortured soul. I'll see him, feel him within my mutilated heart, and I will sing for him, with a tongue that now moves to my will, and through tears that snake down my face, the old lullaby he sang for me under the reverential weeping willow tree.
Let not the ties of friendship sever,
Or the unions of love shatter.
To rest, to rest, the eagle flies above.
Lie in my arms lovely child,
The black serpent cannot touch you.
Do not fret my son,
I will protect you,
From that which lurks,
Within the corners of your mind.
A safe haven you can find in me.
Dedicated to:
Miyakai: (For forcing me to write this fic and also for being my Leo drop of sunshine when my Cancer moodiness takes over)
Kiya (The hyper part of Ryou, for teaching me, with a patience I still am unable to fathom, how to fly)
Takaneyo (For mending my broken wings, teaching me how to speak and being the steady Taurus I can always lean on)
Kaykuyo (For teaching me the Angelic prayer of peace, and tearing down her Scorpio barriers during times of distress.)
Rachel: (For understanding and for showing me that Angels and Demons are really not so different)
Thank You.