This is kind of a departure for me. I like my fluff, thank you very much. They say you should write what you know, and I know unrequited love very well, my friends. Review if you get a chance!
"You can close your eyes to the things you do not want to see, but you cannot close your heart to the things you do not want to feel."
Unrequited.
David Karofsky considered himself an intelligent person. More intelligent than he let most people see. But he hadn't known that word.
Not before Kurt.
There were a lot of things he hadn't known before Kurt.
He hadn't known that heartbreak was more than a word in a song or a line in a poem, but an actual physical sensation. A feeling like having the breath knocked out of you.
He hadn't known what it felt like to yearn for someone so intensely, you could feel it to your bones.
He hadn't known what love felt like.
But Kurt Hummel had taught him all of those things.
Loving Kurt was the most painful, beautiful thing about his life.
Painful because he knew it would never be reciprocated.
Beautiful because he hadn't known feeling like this was even possible. Hadn't known the depths of his own heart and soul. Hadn't known what it was to be really and truly alive.
He'd always be grateful to Kurt for that.
Since Kurt had come back to McKinley, Dave had barely seen him. Not even in the halls.
They shared one class together. French.
Those 45 minutes were the most nerve wracking of Dave's day. He sat on the edge of his seat, palms sweating, heart pounding, trying to avoid staring at the other boy. Trying and failing. Failing every single day.
His grade had fallen from an A- to a D+ because he could not focus on the lesson material.
All he could focus on was him.
All he could see was him.
Today was no exception. Dave noticed that Kurt was wearing his dark blue sweater again. It was Dave's favorite. The color reminded him of Kurt' eyes.
Seeing him; being so close, was almost physically painful.
Dave closed his eyes, seeking his customary escape from the surfeit of emotion. Finding refuge and solace in his favorite day dream. The one he dreamed a hundred times a day.
"So, what are you doing after school today, Dave?"
Kurt was smiling at him. That shy sweet smile that made Dave's hands itch. Made his heart beat fast.
"Nothing."
Kurt smiled again, but this smile was different. It had a cocky, knowing curve to it.
"Want to come over to my house?"
"Sure, but why?"
Now they were walking down the hall. But there was no one else there. It was just them.
In Dave's fantasies, it was always just them.
Kurt pushed him up against the lockers, not unlike he'd done to the smaller boy a hundred times over. Leaning in, he whispered in Dave's ear.
"Why do you think?"
Dave could feel a flush moving up his neck, knew his face would soon be a dull, embarrassed red. Knew his teacher would notice, and even possibly say something. But he couldn't pull back now. This was his favorite part of the fantasy.
He was standing at the door to Kurt's bedroom.
In his dream he never entered through the front door, or interacted with anyone. He was always just there.
He knocked.
The door opened slowly… for some reason, it always opened slowly… and he was there.
Wearing the blue sweater. And the hesitant smile. Raising his hand, he crooked his index finger, beckoning Dave in.
Feeling the magnetic pull of those blue eyes, Dave followed the other boy. Into the room. Onto the bed.
Kurt always led him straight to the bed, in every single one of Dave's fantasies.
Dave perched uneasily on the edge of Kurt's bed. Even in his day dreams, he couldn't imagine himself as a confident, self assured person. In his dreams he was still the confused, insecure boy he knew himself to be. Kurt always took the lead in his dreams.
"What did you want to talk about, Kurt?"
Day dream Kurt smiled, and it was the return of that confident, knowing smile. The one that turned Dave's blood to fire.
Kurt leaned in; linking both of his hands together with Dave's, pulling him closer.
"Oh, I didn't invite you here to talk, Dave"
And then it happened. Like Dave had dreamed it a thousand times. But no matter how many times he imagined it, Dave never failed to be swept away in the intensity of that first kiss.
In his dreams Kurt kissed him like he was the most precious thing he had in all the world. Like he didn't need anything else but this and that as long as they had each other, nothing else mattered. Nothing could hurt either of them.
And it never ended with one kiss. With one touch.
Dave and Kurt fell back on Kurt's bed; their mouth fused together, bodies entwined.
The dull flush crept up to his ears, and he could hear himself breathing audibly, but French class or not, Dave couldn't pull his mind back now.
It wasn't long before Kurt was sprawled out under him, his perfect hair ruffled, cheeks pink, mouth swollen from Dave's kisses.
And though Kurt strained to pull his bring their lips back together, Dave stopped and just looked at the other boy. Looked at him; so beautiful, so perfect. Just seeing him filled Dave up with so much emotion it threatened to pull him under, like the tide.
"Kurt.I...I didn't think you could ever like me. I didn't think you could ever forgive me for how I've treated you"
Even though he knew it was a dream, it was important that he get Kurt's absolution. He hadn't had one single fantasy in which he didn't ask for Kurt' forgiveness.
"Oh Dave, of course I forgive you. I know that you were just trying to deal with your feelings. It's ok"
Kurt's ready forgiveness and his tight embrace were healing.
Dave leaned over the prone form of the other boy; brushing his lips teasingly over his mouth.
Kurt huffed in impatience.
"If you are going to kiss me, do it right!"
His hand reached up and pulled Dave's head sharply down, crashing their lips together.
And everything burst into flames.
Dave couldn't stop his hands from roaming over Kurt's entire body. Quickly in some moments, as if wanting to take in each shape and texture, and slowly in other moments, wanting to savor each discovery.
Their mouths met time and again, in long, drugging kisses, and short, teasing caresses. Tongues entwined and breath heaving, mouths swollen from passion, they kissed as if they wouldn't have another chance, as if they had to express a lifetime of passion in that one moment.
As close as their mouths were, their bodies were even closer. Their restless legs intertwined, fell apart, and then melded again. They lay chest to chest, hearts beating in the same rhythm. Their impatient hands soon divested both of them of their shirts.
Dave felt his body clench with want at the sight of Kurt's unclothed torso. He was Dave's ideal of masculine perfection, pale and lean, but muscled. His chest was almost completely smooth; his skin warm to the touch.
If he was fascinated by Kurt's chest, the same could be said for the other boy. He ran his small hands over Dave's broad hair roughened chest time and again, as if he couldn't get enough of the feel of the him.
His curiosity was driving Dave crazy, and he felt his body responding to the light touch of those fingers.
He had to slow this down.
He had to tell Kurt some things. Things he needed the other boy to know.
"Kurt...Kurt, baby, we've got to slow this down"
Kurt appeared not to hear him, raking his nails down the center of Dave's chest.
Dave felt his hips rock upward and he knew he needed to put some space between the two of them. He had to be the responsible one.
Pulling himself away, he rolled into his stomach. A second later he felt Kurt do the same.
A minute later, their breathing starting to get regulated, Dave turned his head on the pillow to face the other boy.
Kurt's passion flushed looked back at him; the shy smile back in place.
That smile impacted his heart the way the touch of those hands had impacted his body.
And he couldn't hold back the words then. They spilled directly from his heart in an uncontrollable rush.
"Kurt, I have to tell you some things. I have to tell you that I…I love you. I want us to be together. I mean, really together. I don't care who knows. I don't care about anything but you being happy. I can't be happy without you, Kurt. I know that. I feel so lost without you. I love the way you smile, and how passionate you are about what you care about. I love your clothes, and your voice, and I know I'm not worthy of your time, much less your love, but I want it. I need it. "
Kurt smiled; tears glistening in his eyes.
"Dave, I love you too. I have for so long, even when you were still being a jerk. I want us to be together too. I can't be happy without you. I love how safe I feel with you; like you'll always protect me. I want to spend the rest of my life with you. I want...everything with you"
Dave felt it then. Pure, exhilarating, unstoppable joy.
He loved Kurt. Kurt loved him. It would always be the two of them. He had days and years of happiness to look forward to. He could imagine cold winter nights; wrapped up in Kurt's arms, watching the lights glow on a Christmas tree. Summer days at the lake, watching the fire works and having impromptu picnics. He imagined moving into their first place, fighting over the décor, their first Thanksgiving together, their years in the dorms at college, their nights up with a baby they'd adopt, and the hours and hours they'd spend together in bed.
This bed for starters. This moment would be the beginning.
Dave leaned in; his mouth inches from the other boy...
RING! RING! RING!
The bell signaling the end of French jarred Dave out of his reverie. God, he really gone anther place this time. It was like awaking from a particularly wonderful dream. He had absolutely no memory of any of the lesson, just a lingering feeling of hope and warmth.
Just before he could grab his backpack and leave, he saw Kurt walking towards his desk, motioning to him, seemingly intent on speaking with him. Pushing his suddenly shaking hands into his pockets, he couldn't contain the nervous rush of hope that coursed through him.
Kurt paused in front of his desk, his beautiful blue eyes scouring the room, making sure no one was listening.
Then; just as he did in all of Dave's fantasies, he leaned in. Dave's heart raced even faster, and he couldn't hide the shy smile that pulled at his mouth.
Kurt spoke in a low tone, his voice cold.
"Stop staring at me in French, Karofsky. It's gross"