Trigun Attacks..Evangelion an anime-parody by AngelDragon
Disclaimer: I don't own 'em. (But I'm not afraid to admit that I DO own this bizarre story ^_^)
Notes/Warnings: Oh, I wish I could say this was drug induced.. (actually, I think this came from insomnia,too much caffeine and a very vivid imagination)Oh well.
I apologize if anyone came up with something like this already (there's probably some form of parody-thing out there somewhere). I just love making fun of my favorite anime series ^_^
Oh, yeah and there's shonen-ai in here, too, featuring Vash & Wolfwood (my two fave Trigun bishis). If you don't like that idea, sorry, that's how it is in this fic (though it's not graphic,just silly)
This is just the first one in this series (and I have lots more material), so I hope you enjoy!
Favorite Vash quote:'Death and Poverty like me so much, they brought friends! Not to mention the Insurance Girls!' Current Songs in my head:'She Frickin' Hates Me' by Puddle of Mud (I think that's who does it, anyway) and 'You Know You're Right' by Nirvana.
Trigun Attacks..Evangelion
(Vash and Wolfwood appear on the usual blank, white 'screen/stage', Wolf looking understandably confused)
Wolf: What is this crap?
Vash: It's a story. ^_^. A parody story, Nick! This ought to be fun.
Wolf: (grumbling) Like a shot in the ass.
Vash: You'd better be nice, Nick, or the author'll get ticked at you.
Wolf: Whadda you mean, Tongari? What 'author'?
Vash: (starry-eyed) Angel-san! Looky, the script! (plops into Vash's hands, who reads a bit)Ooo, cool, we're doing Evangelion! I love that one!
Wolf: What are we doing this for?
Vash: (hugging script like a plushie)'Cause the author likes Eva as much as she likes our show,that's why.I love being a favorite!
Wolf:What,we're toys now?Hell no!Fan-girl can count me out.(starts to leave) Author:Chotto matte,Nicholas,I'm not done with this story yet.
Wolf:Forget it,onna! I'm gonna go get 'faced in the nearest bar,ja ne!
(suddenly finds himself unable to move,chained to Vash's ankle)
Wolf:The hell?!Hey,you can't do this!
Author:Yes I can.I am Kami in this series,my little bishi.
Wolf:(growls)Bull!C'mon,Tongari!(tries to leave,jerking Vash off his feet in the process)
Vash:But I wanna be in the story! And that hurt! (rubs at his wounded pride)
Author:Why can't you follow Vash-chan's example and have some fun?
Wolf:Bite me!(starts dragging Vash along,ignoring his protests)
(suddenly,Wolfwood stops and looks down to scream)
Wolf:What the hell did you DO to me?!( finding himself wearing a dress like Misato's.Vash is giggling his head off)
Vash:(snickering)Nice legs,Nick!
Wolf:Cram it,Tongari!Get me outta this thing!
Author:But Nicky-chan,shouldn't you do that in private?(giggles)If you ask me nicely,I'll give you back your clothes.Can't do anything about your dignity,though.(giggles again)
Wolf: (blushing up a storm)Okay,fine:Please,can I have my clothes back?
(is suddenly back in his famous black suit and white shirt)
Author:And you'll stay for me?
Wolf:Do I have to?(a white hair bow appears in his hair,causing him to cringe and fold his arms across his chest)Alright,I'll give.(said bow disappears and the boys aren't chained together anymore,damn)
(The Insurance Girls appear now,looking confused)
Meryl:Now what did you do,broomhead?!(glares at Vash,who gulps nervously)
Vash:Nothing!Look here.(hands her the script,her brow twitches)
Meryl:Nanio?(Wolf comes over to whisper to her,she pales,then hands the script back)Never mind..
Milly: (reading over Vash's shoulder)Oh,fun!Do we dress up?
Author:Yup,sure do,Milly.
Milly:Neat!Who's who,Vash-san?
Vash:Um,since we don't have a lot of time:I'm Kaworu.
Meryl:Heh,you gotta dye your hair gray!
Vash:I wouldn't look that bad!Nick,your Shinji,Meryl,you're Asuka and Milly,you're Misato.Hmm,guess that works.
Milly: (blushes in her Misato costume)But,Vash-san,I'm not,um,a loose woman!
Meryl: (wearing Asuka's school uniform)At least you get decent clothes!
Wolf: (in Shinji's clothes)Speak for yourself!
Vash: (in Kaworu's clothes &his hair scruffed-up and dyed gray)Come on,this isn't too bad!It's not like we're doing the whole series,just a scene or two!
(Meryl and Wolf grumble and Milly tugs at the high hem of her dress,blushing)
Vash:Uh oh.(everyone looks at him)There might be a problem.(looks at the script,not believeing what he saw)Um,well,Legato will be Rei.(silence,with chirping crickets)
(Legato comes on 'stage' in Rei's plug suit,looking surprisingly good)
Legato:Well,Master told me to go help you people with this story,so I'm here.(grins unnervingly at them)
Vash: (clears throat)Alrighty,then.Let's see,first scene.(blushes a bit)
Milly:What is it,Vash-san?
Vash:It's a kissing scene.
Meryl:I am NOT kissing you!
Milly:I can't,Vash-san!I don't like you that way!(blushing)
Legato:I wouldn't mind.(licks left hand,Vash pales and shudders at the thought)
Wolf:Gimme!(snatches script from Vash,who inches away from Legato)Oh-my- GOD!You've gotta be kidding!This isn't in the actual script!
Author:Neither are you.This would be considered fan-service,Nicky- chan.(snickers)
Vash: (gets script back,looks and grins)Sugoii!Thanks,Angel-san!
Author:No prob,Vash-chan.Enjoy!
(Vash siddles up to a nervous Wolfwood,who looks like he wants to bolt)
Vash: (whispers'Relax')Um,okay,lines.(checks script)Shinji-kun,I think I was born just to meet you.(puts hand on Wolf's shoulder as he faces him)
Wolf: (sweatdropping)Oh!Er,Really,Kaworu-kun?I didn't think anyone cared about me that much.(tenses)
Vash:I do,Shinji-kun.Let me show you.(leans in to plant a good one on Wolf's lips,who relaxes into it after a few seconds)
(about a minute goes by,the others checking their watches)
Meryl:Any day now!Jeez,get a room!
Legato:As entertaining as this is,can we please do the next scene?I have someone -er,something to do.
(the boys part with rather pleased looks on their faces)
Vash: (coughs)Whew,okay then,next scene!(whispers'Dai suki' to Wolf)
Wolf: (sniffs)Yeah,let's hurry this up!(whispers'Same here' to Vash)
Meryl: (coughcoughhomoboycoughcough and then dodges Wolf's punch)
Milly:Sempai,that wasn't very nice!Oh,Bokushi-san,you and Vash-san looked so cute! ^_^What do we do next,Vash-san?
Vash:Good question!Hmm,(checks again)the synchronising twister scene.(Wolf and Meryl went to change clothes,protesting loudly)
(scenery becomes inside of Misato's apartment w/appropriate props & such,the irate pair return wearing the doofy spandex & loose shirt-things Shinji & Asuka wore in the scene)
Vash: (parks it on a chair after setting up the mats w/ Milly)Milly,your lines!(looks nervously at Legato,who sits nearby looking very spooky-Rei- like)
Milly:Oh,yes!Shinji and Asuka,you have no teamwork at all,so you're gonna practice doing everything together for the next few days,starting with this game thing.(points to the living room and hands them the head-phones)You need to do it to this music,the,um,coral-ography is how you'll fight the Angel-twins.
Meryl: (arms crossed,irked)That's 'choreography',Milly!I can't believe we've gotta wear these stupid clothes!
Wolf:Hey,at least YOU don't have anything to hide!(points to her non- existant chest)
Meryl:Why you smug sonofa-!(tries to strangle him)
Vash: (darts inbetween them)Chotto matte!No fighting!We've gotta finish the scene!
Milly:Vash-san is right,Sempai!You can play with Bokushi-san later!
Meryl: (reluctantly releases the coughing,p'od priest)Whatever!Let's just get this over with!
(she and Wolf take their places on the mats and start to go through their routine as Milly,Vash & Leggy watch)
Meryl: (after falling on her face a few times)This is impossible!How the hell can anyone keep up with this?!
Milly:Um,(checks her lines)Shinji's doing fine,you're just too rigid!You two will never pull off working together.(turns to Legato)Rei,you try it now,in Asuka's place.
(Legato takes 'phones from a relieved Meryl and takes his place next to a creeped-out Wolf)
Legato: (whispers to Wolf)Hope you have your life-insurance paid up,priest.
Wolf: (gulps)Help!(he squeeks that out)
(they do their little scene in tandem,Leggy getting a good score and Wolf sweating bullets)
Wolf:Alright,we've proved that Rei here is better at this,so can we stop now?(watches Legato crack his knuckles after a costume change back to what he considers normal clothing)Please?!
Author:Oh alright,Nicky-chan,since you asked so nice.Legato-chan!
Legato:Yes,story-Mistress?How may I serve you?
Author:There's hotdogs for you in the kitchen.Go nosh.
Legato:Thank you,Mistress!May I make origami out of Wolfwood after lunch?(Wolf,back in his own clothes,pales)
Author:No,enjoy your treat.Vash-chan needs him in one piece and unbent.
Legato: (shrugs,munching happily)As you wish . (Wolf and the others breathe a sigh of relief and Wolf has a shaky smoke)
Meryl: (massaging temples)When will this controlled chaos end?
Milly:Can I have pudding now?
Vash:How about donuts and lots of alchohol?(thinking about'later')
Author:Ii ja nai ka('why not')?Lunch break,have fun!
(they all dig into their respective treats and the author plots with Kuroneko and Knives-sama)
*OWARI*
Well,how was it?Please R&R.(gomen about the length)Should I continue?I've got a second one waiting.Five reviews and I put it up.(and yes,that one is a product of sleep-deprivation as well ^_^)Ja ne!
Disclaimer: I don't own 'em. (But I'm not afraid to admit that I DO own this bizarre story ^_^)
Notes/Warnings: Oh, I wish I could say this was drug induced.. (actually, I think this came from insomnia,too much caffeine and a very vivid imagination)Oh well.
I apologize if anyone came up with something like this already (there's probably some form of parody-thing out there somewhere). I just love making fun of my favorite anime series ^_^
Oh, yeah and there's shonen-ai in here, too, featuring Vash & Wolfwood (my two fave Trigun bishis). If you don't like that idea, sorry, that's how it is in this fic (though it's not graphic,just silly)
This is just the first one in this series (and I have lots more material), so I hope you enjoy!
Favorite Vash quote:'Death and Poverty like me so much, they brought friends! Not to mention the Insurance Girls!' Current Songs in my head:'She Frickin' Hates Me' by Puddle of Mud (I think that's who does it, anyway) and 'You Know You're Right' by Nirvana.
Trigun Attacks..Evangelion
(Vash and Wolfwood appear on the usual blank, white 'screen/stage', Wolf looking understandably confused)
Wolf: What is this crap?
Vash: It's a story. ^_^. A parody story, Nick! This ought to be fun.
Wolf: (grumbling) Like a shot in the ass.
Vash: You'd better be nice, Nick, or the author'll get ticked at you.
Wolf: Whadda you mean, Tongari? What 'author'?
Vash: (starry-eyed) Angel-san! Looky, the script! (plops into Vash's hands, who reads a bit)Ooo, cool, we're doing Evangelion! I love that one!
Wolf: What are we doing this for?
Vash: (hugging script like a plushie)'Cause the author likes Eva as much as she likes our show,that's why.I love being a favorite!
Wolf:What,we're toys now?Hell no!Fan-girl can count me out.(starts to leave) Author:Chotto matte,Nicholas,I'm not done with this story yet.
Wolf:Forget it,onna! I'm gonna go get 'faced in the nearest bar,ja ne!
(suddenly finds himself unable to move,chained to Vash's ankle)
Wolf:The hell?!Hey,you can't do this!
Author:Yes I can.I am Kami in this series,my little bishi.
Wolf:(growls)Bull!C'mon,Tongari!(tries to leave,jerking Vash off his feet in the process)
Vash:But I wanna be in the story! And that hurt! (rubs at his wounded pride)
Author:Why can't you follow Vash-chan's example and have some fun?
Wolf:Bite me!(starts dragging Vash along,ignoring his protests)
(suddenly,Wolfwood stops and looks down to scream)
Wolf:What the hell did you DO to me?!( finding himself wearing a dress like Misato's.Vash is giggling his head off)
Vash:(snickering)Nice legs,Nick!
Wolf:Cram it,Tongari!Get me outta this thing!
Author:But Nicky-chan,shouldn't you do that in private?(giggles)If you ask me nicely,I'll give you back your clothes.Can't do anything about your dignity,though.(giggles again)
Wolf: (blushing up a storm)Okay,fine:Please,can I have my clothes back?
(is suddenly back in his famous black suit and white shirt)
Author:And you'll stay for me?
Wolf:Do I have to?(a white hair bow appears in his hair,causing him to cringe and fold his arms across his chest)Alright,I'll give.(said bow disappears and the boys aren't chained together anymore,damn)
(The Insurance Girls appear now,looking confused)
Meryl:Now what did you do,broomhead?!(glares at Vash,who gulps nervously)
Vash:Nothing!Look here.(hands her the script,her brow twitches)
Meryl:Nanio?(Wolf comes over to whisper to her,she pales,then hands the script back)Never mind..
Milly: (reading over Vash's shoulder)Oh,fun!Do we dress up?
Author:Yup,sure do,Milly.
Milly:Neat!Who's who,Vash-san?
Vash:Um,since we don't have a lot of time:I'm Kaworu.
Meryl:Heh,you gotta dye your hair gray!
Vash:I wouldn't look that bad!Nick,your Shinji,Meryl,you're Asuka and Milly,you're Misato.Hmm,guess that works.
Milly: (blushes in her Misato costume)But,Vash-san,I'm not,um,a loose woman!
Meryl: (wearing Asuka's school uniform)At least you get decent clothes!
Wolf: (in Shinji's clothes)Speak for yourself!
Vash: (in Kaworu's clothes &his hair scruffed-up and dyed gray)Come on,this isn't too bad!It's not like we're doing the whole series,just a scene or two!
(Meryl and Wolf grumble and Milly tugs at the high hem of her dress,blushing)
Vash:Uh oh.(everyone looks at him)There might be a problem.(looks at the script,not believeing what he saw)Um,well,Legato will be Rei.(silence,with chirping crickets)
(Legato comes on 'stage' in Rei's plug suit,looking surprisingly good)
Legato:Well,Master told me to go help you people with this story,so I'm here.(grins unnervingly at them)
Vash: (clears throat)Alrighty,then.Let's see,first scene.(blushes a bit)
Milly:What is it,Vash-san?
Vash:It's a kissing scene.
Meryl:I am NOT kissing you!
Milly:I can't,Vash-san!I don't like you that way!(blushing)
Legato:I wouldn't mind.(licks left hand,Vash pales and shudders at the thought)
Wolf:Gimme!(snatches script from Vash,who inches away from Legato)Oh-my- GOD!You've gotta be kidding!This isn't in the actual script!
Author:Neither are you.This would be considered fan-service,Nicky- chan.(snickers)
Vash: (gets script back,looks and grins)Sugoii!Thanks,Angel-san!
Author:No prob,Vash-chan.Enjoy!
(Vash siddles up to a nervous Wolfwood,who looks like he wants to bolt)
Vash: (whispers'Relax')Um,okay,lines.(checks script)Shinji-kun,I think I was born just to meet you.(puts hand on Wolf's shoulder as he faces him)
Wolf: (sweatdropping)Oh!Er,Really,Kaworu-kun?I didn't think anyone cared about me that much.(tenses)
Vash:I do,Shinji-kun.Let me show you.(leans in to plant a good one on Wolf's lips,who relaxes into it after a few seconds)
(about a minute goes by,the others checking their watches)
Meryl:Any day now!Jeez,get a room!
Legato:As entertaining as this is,can we please do the next scene?I have someone -er,something to do.
(the boys part with rather pleased looks on their faces)
Vash: (coughs)Whew,okay then,next scene!(whispers'Dai suki' to Wolf)
Wolf: (sniffs)Yeah,let's hurry this up!(whispers'Same here' to Vash)
Meryl: (coughcoughhomoboycoughcough and then dodges Wolf's punch)
Milly:Sempai,that wasn't very nice!Oh,Bokushi-san,you and Vash-san looked so cute! ^_^What do we do next,Vash-san?
Vash:Good question!Hmm,(checks again)the synchronising twister scene.(Wolf and Meryl went to change clothes,protesting loudly)
(scenery becomes inside of Misato's apartment w/appropriate props & such,the irate pair return wearing the doofy spandex & loose shirt-things Shinji & Asuka wore in the scene)
Vash: (parks it on a chair after setting up the mats w/ Milly)Milly,your lines!(looks nervously at Legato,who sits nearby looking very spooky-Rei- like)
Milly:Oh,yes!Shinji and Asuka,you have no teamwork at all,so you're gonna practice doing everything together for the next few days,starting with this game thing.(points to the living room and hands them the head-phones)You need to do it to this music,the,um,coral-ography is how you'll fight the Angel-twins.
Meryl: (arms crossed,irked)That's 'choreography',Milly!I can't believe we've gotta wear these stupid clothes!
Wolf:Hey,at least YOU don't have anything to hide!(points to her non- existant chest)
Meryl:Why you smug sonofa-!(tries to strangle him)
Vash: (darts inbetween them)Chotto matte!No fighting!We've gotta finish the scene!
Milly:Vash-san is right,Sempai!You can play with Bokushi-san later!
Meryl: (reluctantly releases the coughing,p'od priest)Whatever!Let's just get this over with!
(she and Wolf take their places on the mats and start to go through their routine as Milly,Vash & Leggy watch)
Meryl: (after falling on her face a few times)This is impossible!How the hell can anyone keep up with this?!
Milly:Um,(checks her lines)Shinji's doing fine,you're just too rigid!You two will never pull off working together.(turns to Legato)Rei,you try it now,in Asuka's place.
(Legato takes 'phones from a relieved Meryl and takes his place next to a creeped-out Wolf)
Legato: (whispers to Wolf)Hope you have your life-insurance paid up,priest.
Wolf: (gulps)Help!(he squeeks that out)
(they do their little scene in tandem,Leggy getting a good score and Wolf sweating bullets)
Wolf:Alright,we've proved that Rei here is better at this,so can we stop now?(watches Legato crack his knuckles after a costume change back to what he considers normal clothing)Please?!
Author:Oh alright,Nicky-chan,since you asked so nice.Legato-chan!
Legato:Yes,story-Mistress?How may I serve you?
Author:There's hotdogs for you in the kitchen.Go nosh.
Legato:Thank you,Mistress!May I make origami out of Wolfwood after lunch?(Wolf,back in his own clothes,pales)
Author:No,enjoy your treat.Vash-chan needs him in one piece and unbent.
Legato: (shrugs,munching happily)As you wish . (Wolf and the others breathe a sigh of relief and Wolf has a shaky smoke)
Meryl: (massaging temples)When will this controlled chaos end?
Milly:Can I have pudding now?
Vash:How about donuts and lots of alchohol?(thinking about'later')
Author:Ii ja nai ka('why not')?Lunch break,have fun!
(they all dig into their respective treats and the author plots with Kuroneko and Knives-sama)
*OWARI*
Well,how was it?Please R&R.(gomen about the length)Should I continue?I've got a second one waiting.Five reviews and I put it up.(and yes,that one is a product of sleep-deprivation as well ^_^)Ja ne!