The crisp autumn air was rustling the crackling leaves, sweeping them down the long driveway. It was early, two o'clock in the morning on a Saturday, a beautiful two story brick home stood in the midst of the crescent moons shining gaze. A light breeze, the soft hooting of nearby owls, and slow, steady, breathing was the only thing heard throughout the home. Out of nowhere footsteps, a dark shadow figure was moving up the desolate lane, how strange this late? The figure came into better view, a tall and thin young man with straggly blonde hair, manacle dark brown eyes. His face was twisted in rage, his eyes looming menacingly over the houses windows. His footsteps grew louder and louder, her heart pounding fast as she heard him inching nearer.

"Lumos." He raised his illuminated wand, the light shooting through the darkness, his eyes locked onto his target. "Alohamora." He carelessly flicked his wand and pushed his way into the home. The girl turned aimlessly in her bed, she knew someone was creeping up behind her. Her eyes opened up wide, wincing. Without any warning the air was sucked out of her body, as if punched by some unseen force, she sat bolt upright grasping for air.

Vanessa's eyes flew open abruptly, the morning light was peering over the rim of her bedpost, giving her room a warm, welcoming glow. She strained her tired eyes and glanced over at the clock, six fifty three. Vanessa rolled groggily onto her side once again, crinkling her toes in her comforter as she yawned involuntarily. She was awake now, she could never go back to sleep after having a dream about...him. She spitefully kicked off the covers, an almost angry expression coming across her bare, tired face. With her covers crumpled on the floor, she swung her legs over the side of her bed, gingerly pressing her feet to the alarmingly cold floor, testing her weight on her wobbly feet.

Vanessa moseyed over to her bathroom, nearly tripping over the pile of unwashed clothes on the floor. The lights flicked on, earning a pain-filled groan of protest from Vanessa before she stripped her wrinkled shirt and underwear off. The water silently erupted from the shower head, pouring hot water over her tense figure. She turned her back underneath the shower head, letting the warmth slip down her shoulders and over the curve of her backside. The water moved in snake like motions over her body, smoothing down the goosebumps that had arisen over her skin. Vanessa ran a hand through her wet hair, slopping water out of her mouth as she turned underneath the shower head once more. Like always, the shower began washing away her latest night terror, washing away some of the frightened thoughts beginning to plague her slowly awakening mind.

After a normal twenty minute shower, Vanessa plucked a towel off of the rack beside the shower door. She squeezed some excess water out of her long hair, splashing it onto her toes. She wrapped the towel around her slim form tightly, clutching it in a vice like grip as she stepped out into the steamy bathroom. Back into reality. Vanessa ran her hand around the center of the mirror, creating a small circle. She was visible enough, through a slim film of steam, Vanessa could see that girl staring back in the mirror. Why she kept looking in them she didn't know. It was as if she expected to see someone different, not who she really was. She couldn't accept what she saw, no matter how many times she was called beautiful. She couldn't see it. She couldn't accept their compliments, if she did...someone else would just come along and tear down that small ray of self confidence, and she would not let that happen again. Slowly, the small circle of visibility was covered over by a thick smog and Vanessa was left staring at a opaque image of herself.

I'll be fine, I'm good.

Vanessa slipped the towel off and deliberately avoided the mirror's harsh criticism of her body, dodging out of her bathroom. She pulled open her dresser drawers to find some clean underwear and a bra. She grabbed a pair of underwear and bra, tossing it on the bed behind her. Vanessa was careful to keep her eyes above her body once again, but she could still feel the way her thighs wiggled when she walked. No one ever saw it or understood it, what Vanessa complained about, but Vanessa didn't just see it. She felt it. Everyday.

Back in your hole, not today. Come back later.

She bit the inside of her cheek painfully intentionally drawing her attention away from those self eroding thoughts. Drawing blood in the process. She reached for a white shirt and a pair of boot cut jeans, tossing them behind her back onto her crinkled bed. Before going into her bathroom, Vanessa pulled her clean clothes over her body, not daring to stand before a mirror naked.

She was scrunching the water out of her long damp hair when she heard a loud knocking on her bedroom door. "Well this is new." Her mother chuckled at the sight of her fifteen year old up so early. Vanessa's mother sauntered into her room, clutching the sides of her white robe as she sat down on her bed. Vanessa flicked the lights off and sat down on the bed next to her mom, resting her head on her shoulder. The scent of warm honey filled Vanessa's nose, the warm and familiar smell of her mother. She ran a hand through Vanessa's damp hair, a kind smile crossing her full lips as she rested her cheek against her head.

They both sat there for a little while, just enjoying the silence. Something new for them. Neither one of them were talkative, but that wasn't true when it was just the two of them. No one could barely get a word in edgewise when they started talking. But rare moments like these, neither one would talk. They would just enjoy the silence. The silent understandings of a mother and daughter. Silences with her mother were sometimes frightening. That strange mother instinct of knowing when something is bothering her child definitely wasn't missing from her mother. Silences were often intimidating to Vanessa, only because she could feel her mother trying to pick the problem out of her, without the use of words. Just the way she would hug her sometimes, like how she was in that moment. It always meant she knew something. Something that Vanessa might not want her to know. She could tell by the way her mother stroked her hair, she knew something.

How does she do that?

She knew she'd had another night terror. She knew about who. But she didn't have the first clue about why. Not the real reason why anyway. Ava lifted her head but kept stroking her daughter's hair gently, "Had another nightmare didn't you?" by the tone of her voice, it came out as more of a statement than a question. With a grudge, Vanessa lifted her head to look into her mother's soft blue orbs of comfort. She didn't say a word, just nodded. Her mother rested her hand on the side of Vanessa's face, her thumb running over her cheek. She studied Vanessa's face. "You know, if there's something bothering you, you can always talk to me." said Ava, almost anxiously biting her bottom lip, waiting a reply. "Yeah, I know." replied Vanessa mono toned.

She wanted to tell her mother everything. About what happened. About why she can't stand to sleep some nights. But every time she did her throat became constricted, her mouth ran dry and the words slipped away from her. Ava nodded, her eyes darting all over Vanessa's face. Why wouldn't she just talk to her? Vanessa watched as her mother tucked a piece of tasseled blonde hair behind her ear, sighing as she folded her hands in her lap. "Okay, well. I'm going to take a shower and attempt to wake up your brother. You remember we're going to see the Weasley's." An almost uncomfortable lump pushed against her collarbones.

"And Sirius?"

Vanessa asked with an almost unfamiliar smile. Her mother patted Vanessa's knee.

"Yes, Sirius as well." She replied as she stood back up, clutching her robe around her thin frame.

She once again looked over Vanessa's face, giving Vanessa the feeling of being silently interrogated. She pulled herself away from her mother's gaze, glancing to her side, out the window, staring intently at the blossoming hydrangeas in the garden. Vanessa let the sun heat her exposed face and arms, basking in the sunlight's comforting warmth. "All right, well. In an hour or two we'll be leaving." Her mother said quietly, her gaze directed out of the window as well but she turned to her daughter as she saw her shift. Vanessa smiled awkwardly at her mother before she pulled her legs up onto the bed, crossing them in front of her. "Alright then, love you." said her mother before she kissed Vanessa's forehead. "Love you too, mum." Just hearing that brought a smile to her mother's delicate face. Without another word her mother left her alone again. She almost preferred it that way. To just be left alone.

The summer was drawing to an end and in two days she would never be alone. She'd be at Hogwarts. Of course she loved her school, she loved her friends, and she even loved her classes. But, she'd changed. Ever since that night. She didn't know if she'd ever feel safe there again, not even if Dumbledore himself guarded her every waking moment. Vanessa looked around her room, her personal sanctuary. She barely left her room, she liked it there. Something about the surrounding four purple walls put her at ease, like the walls were enchanted with an impenetrable charm that no one could ever get through or break. She felt safe. Secure. When she had been to the Greengrass' a few weeks ago she didn't feel safe, even with her best friends. How strange, right?

Vanessa glanced over at her nightstand, the picture of her and her father caught her eye. Why the hell she didn't get rid of the thing, she'll never understand. Maybe it was just her long lost hope. She picked up the photograph, disregarding her feelings of hesitance and examined it, just like she always did. She couldn't have been older than five, her short curly hair bouncing about as her father twirled her in a circle in front of him. Her white, blue polka dotted dress puffing out around her as she continued to twirl for her father. The both of them looked so...happy. Her father had a wide grin spread across his handsome face, his waves of black hair untidy and messy. It was ridiculous how much she resembled him, same eyes, same grin. Part of her hated it, her looking like the man that left her ten years ago. The other part loved that she resembled him, a constant reminder of him, who she missed dearly. Vanessa felt her eyes twinge painfully as they began to fill with salty tears. But of course, she blinked them away. She made a promise to herself that she would never cry over him.

Why cry over someone who left you? Who left their child. She set the picture back down on the nightstand. Her bangs fell into her face as her gaze dropped to her thighs, the idea of sleep sounded very appealing at the moment. Waking up at the crack of dawn was not something Vanessa did on a daily basis, or ever.

Ava couldn't understand it. What had happened to her daughter to make her clam up like this? The minute Vanessa stepped off that train, it wasn't the same Vanessa that Ava had seen over that Easter break. She tried to act like she was all right and happy but Ava saw right through her act. Vanessa was not a very good liar. She could never fool her mother. It pained Ava to know something was bothering her young daughter, they'd always been so close. Vanessa would always come to her if she had a problem, and tell in great detail. But now, she never talks. She keeps to herself mainly. Even when she had gone away to see her friends, Astoria and Daphne, she seemed off in a world on her own. But she put on her best act for them of course. As Ava rounded the corner to her bedroom she shut the door behind her, resting the back of her head against the door. She closed her eyes, trying to think if she had done anything to upset her daughter. Did she press the matter to much? Did she not ask her enough. She opened her eyes, a stinging sensation forming at the corners of her blue eyes. She felt so helpless, so weak. She couldn't help her daughter if she wouldn't talk. Vanessa had to feel comfortable and safe enough to talk. She wouldn't say a word until she felt completely at ease.

I have to make her know it's okay to talk to me. She knows that though, doesn't she?

"Vanessa? Svelgiati!" Vanessa rolled open her eyes, scanning her room in annoyance. Her mother stood in her elegant fashion, leaning against the door with her green hat in place. The rim covering one of her eyes as Ava peered down at her once sleeping daughter.

"Yeah, yeah. I'm up." said Vanessa breathlessly, stretching quickly before she stood up.

She stumbled as she stood up a little too quickly, catching her leg on her falling comforter. Vanessa grabbed her oversized bag and shoved her wand inside, slipping on her flats simultaneously. Her mother beckoned her with a wave of the wand, "Come on, dear. Don't want to keep them waiting." said Ava, resting her hand on Vanessa's shoulder, giving her an almost reassuring pat.

"Mum, is there something wrong? With you, I mean?" asked Vanessa, her brown eyes scrunched into slits as she tried analyze her own mother's emotions.

She peered down at Vanessa, smiling softly at her confused expression. "Nothing's wrong, sweetheart. Don't worry, now lets go see if your brother is among the living shall we?" Vanessa chuckled at this,

"I highly doubt that. It's not noon yet, mum." Vanessa chided playfully. Ava smirked at her correction, and ran her fingers through Vanessa's long brown hair. Ethan was not what one would call a morning person, nor a late morning person. He was more of a 'wake up at noon but not get up until 3' person. "Oi! Ethan! You alive in there?" Vanessa hollered before she attempted to throw open his door, but for some reason she had to attempt to force the door open and even then she couldn't open it.

"Ethan, don't tell me you put another charm on your door." said her mother in a clearly annoyed voice, and for good reason. The last time Ethan put on charm on the door, Ethan couldn't get out for nearly 9 hours. Her mother eventually had to blow the door to bits.

Idiot.

"Awww come on now! I was 13 years old, I'm much older and wiser now mum." Ethan lightheartedly called through the door. Vanessa rolled her eyes as she heard a loud thud followed by a loud, "FUCK!" Ava threw he hands up in defeat,

"You know what?" she paused to turn around, a clearly frustrated look on her face.

Oh God, hear it comes...

"Mum, don't get angry all right. We'll be leaving in a second, right Ethan?" said Vanessa in an attempt to lighten her mother's anger.

The pair heard a scuffling of papers, what sounded like clothes being dumped into some type of hamper, and swift footsteps. Tap tap tap tap tap tap tap tap tap tap.

Vanessa turned around, searching for the source for that incessant and increasingly annoying noise. She saw her mother, her arms folded across her rising chest. Her mothers thin manicured eyebrows arching into her bangs, her thin lips pursed tightly together.

"Ethan!"

"God dammit, Vanessa I'm coming!" Ethan called angrily. He violently threw open the door, clothes scattered here and there over his floor. "See, I'm golden, hap-" He stopped abruptly, obviously catching the fired up look on his mothers face. "Sorry." he muttered quietly, biting his lip whilst he lowered his head, his hazel eyes looking for a sign of forgiveness.

"Its all right, son. I just wish you would have appreciation for others."

"I do." said Ethan with an almost pathetic look on his face.

"Then show it. Now lets get a move on then." said their mother, unhooking her arms, the look of irritation erased from her delicate features. She turned on her heel, gracefully disappearing down the staircase. Ethan bent down to Vanessa's ear, "Ready to snog your little Harry P-" Vanessa shoved her hand across her brothers mouth, him struggling to get her small hand. "Don't even get my started on Lavender Brown, Ethan." Vanessa said with a smirk twisting on her full lips. Her brother was so easy to get to, and she knew just what to say to hit a nerve. Ethan stopped struggling as Vanessa let go of his face, "That's not one of my proudest moments, ya know? No need to throw it back in my face every chance you get." said Ethan, biting the inside of his cheek.

"Well then don't give me any more opportunities." she pointed out in her usual smart ass fashion. Truth be told, Ethan quite missed that.

Vanessa took the steps two at a time, her brown hair flopping up and down her back. As she landed at the bottom of the stairs, her mother was kneeling at the fireplace, igniting the green flames. Her mother stood up and lazily brushed at her slightly pink knees. Vanessa really didn't look anything like her, maybe her smile and maybe her nose but other than that, she was her father's spitting image. The tan skin, brown hair, light brown eyes. Sometimes she wished she'd at least look a little like her mother, her sky blue eyes that would often get darker depending on the lighting. Maybe her blonde hair...

I'd look like a freak with blonde hair.

Vanessa always wanted to look a little different, more exotic, beautiful. She couldn't see it, it's like she was incapable of seeing the beauty in her. Vanessa was completely oblivious to male attention, whenever a man would crane his neck to watch her she always thought they were looking at how unattractive she was. Compliments made no sense to her because, of course, she never saw it. She never quite learned how to accept a compliment, and actually believe it. It was completely frustrating and exhausting to any man that attempted to win her affection. IT only made it worse. To most, it was a rather endearing quality, if only they knew who and what had made her that way. It wouldn't be so endearing then.

"Vanessa, you first, dear." said her mother, giving Vanessa a small smile. She knew Vanessa hated using the floo network. She hated sidelong apparation as well. Vanessa preferred the muggle way of traveling, no nausea. Vanessa peered down at the green flames flickering in their fireplace, she really hated this. She whined as she passed through the cold flames, feeling as though she jumped into a pool in the middle of December. The shivers ran through her body before she cleared her throat and exclaimed, "Number 12 Grimmauld Place." As soon as those words escaped her throat, a rush of ice cold emerald flames surrounded her and carried her off, her stomach churning the whole way.