Dean was alone. Sam was working on finding Crowley's location and bobby was with him at the moment. And Cas…Cas was turning into something, something dean was scared he wouldn't be able to save. He just wished the angel had listened to him. Maybe if he would have just…it didn't really matter right now.

All he knew was that he needed to see the angel, without his brother and bobby knowing.

He grabbed his jacket and went outside to the impala and got in. As he drove away his grip tightened on the steering wheel and he felt guilty and angry at the same time, mostly angry at himself. He didn't even give Cas time to explain he just…told him to go, told him to get the hell away from him.

"Damn it!" he slammed his palm against the wheel and pulled into the small field down a dirt road.

He sat for awhile before finally getting out and going to the middle. He clasped his hands and bowed his head.

"Castiel please come down here…Cas we need to talk, please"

He peeked open his eyee and a second later heard the flutter of wings. He turned to find a tall dark haired girl, in skinny jeans and a tank top.

"Who are you?" she smiled softly.

"I am Ramiel" dean nodded but watched this girl with curiosity

"So riding around in a teenager?" the angel nodded and frowned.

"Castiel is not available to talk to you" dean sighed.

"Where is he?" she smiled. "At a park he enjoys going to…in Europe" dean nodded.

"Take me there" her smile fell and she looked very surprised.

"You would travel that whole way just to speak with him?" he nodded and she smiled brightly.

"He was right about you, he's always bragging about how great the Winchesters are, how loving and great to him…he really loves you guys."

Dean felt a small smile find its way to his lips and he stepped forward grabbing her shoulders.

"Let's go then" she nodded and they disappeared in a wind.

They landed in snow, as he looked around he saw Cas in the distance sitting on the bench leaning forward.

"He's over there, go" dean nodded and Ramiel disappeared.

He straightened he jacket and stocked forward confidently. Once he was close enough to the angel he spoke.

"Hey Cas?" the angel glanced up and deans heart dropped.

"Cas...hey it's ok what's going on?" the angel quickly tried to wipe away the tears but they kept coming.

"D-dean, how did you get here?" the taller man shook his head, too concerned to worry about anything else. Dean caught Cas under the chin, bringing the angel to face the hunter.

"Cas explain it to me, explain all of it…I promise I'll listen" the angel nodded and sighed as he looked down at his hands.

"Dean I don't know if what im doing is right, I doubt myself and god…sometimes I wish they'd just kill me already." He paused as his blue eyes met deans green.

"Dean you have to do it..Please" he handed dean the angel blade from his tattered jacket, and turned completely to the man.

"Please dean for everyone's safety" Dean's eyes glossed with tears as he looked at this angel, this man…his best friend.

"Cas I can't…" and suddenly dean wasn't seeing Cas as he was now, he was seeing how cas was before….

"I rebelled, I killed my brothers and sisters, and I did it, all of it…for you"

He saw Cas' smile and he saw the confused head cock. He saw his friend and he knew he couldn't do it hewouldn't do it.

"No Cas…I won't kill you"

The angel slumped forward and the sobs came again. But dean, dean sat with a smile forming on his lips. He knew he could save Castiel, he would see that smile and innocent confusion again…he just knew it.