The incessant buzz of a phone woke Trixie. It was almost midnight and she had just managed to fall asleep. Her hand reached out, searching the unfamiliar bedside table. After knocking the touch lamp on, she finally located her cell.

Flipping it open, she answered, 'Belden.' As usual, Trixie woke instantly, alert and ready for trouble.

'Trixie?' The tone was hesitant but determined. Background noise almost crowded out the soft voice. 'You know you said I could come over to visit any time.' It was a statement of fact. Not waiting for a conformation, Honey continued, 'I'm standing at the gangway of a British Airways plane. It's on final boarding to Heathrow, London. My flight will arrive in seven hours.'

'I'll be there, give me the details,' unfazed, Trixie searched the area round the bed, finally locating her coat and the note pad it contained. Holding the phone between her shoulder and cheek, she scribbled down the details.

'I'll see you soon.' Trixie completed the call with a puzzled frown. Carefully closing her cell, Trix jumped at the light touch on her bare back.

'Beatrix?' He made a question of her name. The deep male voice never failed to send a shiver down her spine.

'I have to go.' Jumping out of bed, Trixie found her scattered clothing before pulling on her shirt. 'I have a visitor coming from the states and my apartments a mess. I need to get back to London.'

'I hope your visitor isn't a rival for my attentions?' the man, now propping himself up on an elbow to look at her, asked. 'I hope I'm not just another…'

Leaning over the bed, she gave the man a searing kiss. 'I'm well aware of my reputation.' She announced. 'And my answer is yes.'

Sitting up, the sheet falling to his waist, the man ran a hand through his dark curly hair. In the soft light, his muscular form was very defined. Swallowing hard, he stammered incredulously, 'just like that? After all these years of catching each other for a few hours or days at a time whenever we could? Yes!'

'Yes,' Trixie stared back at him, amused, but not surprised by his reaction. She was happy, but laughter would spoil the moment. 'Yes, I love you. I have for a while now. And before you ask, yes, I'll marry you.'

Not sure how to react, he grinned, attempting to see the funny side. Taunting her had always proved the best method to settle his tension, so he teased, 'This will ruin your reputation, Belden.'

'Really, Mangan,' Trixie returned playfully, finally letting out a giggle, 'I think it'll ruin yours. I'll see you in London on the weekend?'

'Yeah, I suppose…' he replied quietly, falling back onto the bed, still in shock. 'Sure you don't have time…'

Snorting, Trixie pulled on her jeans and turned to shove the rest of her belongings into an overnight bag. 'Miss Madeline Wheeler will be here in less than seven hours. Some how I have to clean up my place, clear off my desk at the Yard and wheedle a few days off work. Then I'll have the most difficult case of my entire life. Finding out just why Miss Wheeler has had the sudden urge to escape New York, her very extravagant society wedding next month and come visit me little ol' me in London.'

While Trixie had been talking, Dan had quietly gotten out of bed and pulled on his own clothing. 'In that case Beatrix Belden…'

'What are you doing?' Trixie asked perplexed, finally turning to face him.

Coming around the bed, Dan placed gentle hands on Trixie's shoulders. 'I've waited almost fifteen years, Trix, do you really think I'm going to let you go this easily now?'

Embarrassed by the amount of emotion Dan was emanating, Trixie looked down at her bear feet. Moving a hand, Dan placed a gentle finger under her chin and forced their eyes to meet. 'If I had my way, we'd be on the way to Gretna Green and married by the time Honey got here. I've never mentioned it before because you haven't been ready, but Trix, I have to tell you now. At first there was this bond between you and Jim, it was so astoundingly strong any hope I held was pointless. Then he broke your heart and you turned to me for support. I gave up college for a year so we'd go to California together on FBI funded scholarships. My only salvation at UCLA came because you didn't date anyone, including me. Finally we were in the same FBI training class. When you were posted across the country, whatever dreams I carried vanished. If I thought you were that special, then I knew, eventually, you'd find someone who would be able to make you love them despite Jim.'

'When you where assigned to Denver as a special agent, on one of my cases after a year at the FBI, your carer was on a knife edge. Solve that case and you were on the way up. I expected you to leave me behind. Instead we went out to celebrate after you cracked it and ended up in bed. Trix, that was six years ago. I'd come to the conclusion that these casual meetings were all we'd ever have.' Turning very serious, Dan forced the word out past a lump in his throat. 'When did you finally realise you were over Jim?'

'I was stationed in Perth for eighteen months,' Trixie replied, a faraway look in her eye's as she remembered. 'I kept waiting for you to come out on vacation. You always came, eventually. When you didn't, I realised how much I missed you. It wasn't very long before I had to admit it to myself, I didn't just miss you, I loved you. That's when I knew I'd been fooling myself about Jim for years.'

'Jim,' Patty told her husband as he came out of the girl's room. Three stories, now they were finally asleep and Jim had intended to spend some quality time with his wife. 'Honey came over today. She left a letter for you. I put it in your office.'

Nodding sagely, Jim understood Patty's message without the aid of words.

Finally, Jim hoped, taking the letter in his large hands. Fingering the neat script, he opened it carefully, took out the parchment and began to read.

To my darling brother,

I love you, I hope you know that. And I hope you know I always will.

You are the best thing that's ever happened to me. I wish we'd had more than two years together before you went away to college. I missed you so much, and then you got married. This will sound like an accusation, it's not. But you left me behind and never came back. Suddenly you had a family and everything I ever wanted. I absolutely adore my nieces and nephews, and I just love your wife. You couldn't have made a better choice. Patty has become one of my best friends. I'm so jealous of you and envious of what you have. I wish I had it as well.

And that's the reason I have to go away for a while. I want, no, I deserve, what you have. I need a loving partner who is willing to commit completely to me, a white picket fence and a family of my own. Instead, what I have is a cold diamond on my finger for the last nine years and no sign of a real commitment in site. I'm tired of waiting for him.

From the moment we met, I've seem to be waiting. First, it was for him to finish college. When I accepted his ring, I realised I would have to wait to be his wife, until he was finished with Medical School. Then there were the long, arduous hours of internship and residency. I was allowed to have his body but not his name until he achieved his goal. I could understand when he said there would be little time or energy left for me. I accepted it all because I thought the prize at the end would be worth the sacrifice. I lived through years of being "on call" for a week at a time. Yet, in those early days, at least he attempted to make it to my charity functions and appear interested in what I was doing. He's a consultant now, the youngest ever. All the hard work and study has finally paid off, for him at least. What do I have? I have become exactly what he wanted, the debutant, society wife who will fit his new status in life. I say all the appropriate words and attend the expected functions.

Oh, Jim, I feel like a used up old prune and I'm not yet thirty. You're going to hate me for this, but in so many ways Trixie was right. I have lived my life in the shadow of what someone else wanted me to be. At first I was able to rationalise his needs and put them above my own. Over the last months I have gone from anger to sadness and now I wonder exactly what I feel. I have grieved. Last night I finally realised why I sit, night after night in my beige prison at Manor House. I'm done agonising over a relationship which should have ended years ago. All hope of happiness in that quarter is gone.

You may wonder why I have suddenly come to this conclusion. It was not so sudden, as people with think. Six months ago my brain knew, when I redecorated my room in colourless, emotionless beige. That has always been a window to my deepest thoughts. It took my heart longer to understand. Two days ago, I went to New York on a whim, and I saw him coming out of a trendy restaurant with a blond on his arm. Right there in front of the door, he kissed her for the world to see. Not a friendly, it's nice to see you kiss, but the deep, soul searing kiss of a lover. The kind of kiss we once shared. That was when I knew I was fooling myself. I didn't feel sad, or angry, or jealous and I knew I should have. It just explained what my brain had been attempting to tell my heart for the last year. I don't care enough for him to be jealous or hurt. I'm actually kind of relieved. I thought there was something wrong with me.

I love you, Patty and all the kids. I'll be in contact in a few days. Please don't worry about me. For almost the first time in my life, I'm going to do exactly what I want. I'm happy Jim, really happy to be out of the shadows and able to walk alone in the sunlight.

Honey.

Brian Belden sighed wearily as he entered the doctor's lounge. He had been awake for almost 30 hours. On call was a joke. There was no "on call" about it in the cardiology department. Heart patients got sick around the clock and, as the most senior doctor overnight, Brian Belden was called to attend. In his hands was the power to accept or deny admission to the hospital coronary care unit through the emergency room.

In a few hours, his long shift would be over. Walking to the coffee machine, Brian poured himself a cup of weak, warm liquid which didn't begin to resemble a much needed stimulant. Still, he would need a good night's sleep before returning for his regular roster tomorrow, so it was probably just as well that the coffee looked and tasted like two day old dishwater.

That was when he spied an envelope in his box. With a few minutes to spare, he started on his two day old sandwich while looking over the buff wrapping. With no sign of who had sent it, Brian tore it open. It was the most exciting thing to happen in his life for months.

His eyebrows furrowed, Brian dropped both the coffee and sandwich into the bin before sinking into a hard backed chair with an incredulous look on his face. The first quick glance shocked him to the core. The second read though left him puzzled. Finally he took the letter up once more.

Dear Brian,

I think I've made the biggest mistake of my life. No I'm sure. It's all thanks to your sister really. Trixie called me six months ago and apologised for our falling out all those years ago. It made me think about everything I've lost because of a decision I made as a love struck teenager. It's been more than I could ever comprehend.

If only…it's so easy to say. But if only you hadn't brought your college room mate home for thanksgiving, everything might have turned out so differently.

I've given him back the ring. I don't have the courage to face him. Like a coward, I've left it for him at the front desk with a letter, just like I've left this letter for you. Did you know he's cheating on me? I guess I was probably the only one who didn't know. The fiancée is usually the last to find out.

I'm sorry I've put you in this position. I hope it doesn't affect your chance of getting that consultant position you have always wanted. You and he have always been rivals, in everything. I just know he's going to think you had something to do with this. I never told anyone, but he's accused me of secretly being in love with you since I was a teenager. No matter how I have tried to convince him, he believes it. He also believes he was able to steel my affections away from you. In that, at least, he's right. There was a time when Trixie and I thought we would be double sisters-in-law. We were both naive, young and in love with the idea of love.

I'm telling you this, because I believe you will be the most affected by the fall out of my leaving. I won't tell you where I'm going, I haven't told anyone. I am sorry if I've caused you pain, but now it's my turn to live. I want make my own decisions for the first time in my life no matter the cost to anyone else. My happiness is my only object. If it causes you sorrow, I apologise and can only hope you understand.

Ever your friend,

Honey.

'Oh, Honey,' tears ran down Brian's haggard face. Pulling out his phone, he searched the internet for a number. When he found it, Brian dialled.

It took several rings before a husky voice answered, 'Frayne residence.'

'Jim,' Brian asked tentatively, realising it was very late in the evening.

Just that simple word was enough for Jim. He knew that Brian knew. 'You got a letter too.' He stated. 'So did dad. Question is, what are we going to do about it?'

'There's no we, Jim. I'm going to do what I should have done twelve years ago.' The answer was determined. 'Can you scan both letters and send them to me.'

'Do you know were she's going,' Jim enquired, certain he knew Honey's destination.

'I have a very good idea,' he responded. 'I'll call Trixie and find out if she's there.'

I wish you luck, Jim thought as he put the phone down.