Hello there! I know there is a lot of these My Immortal stories, but I thought I'd take a crack at it. I hope you like my little add in's. Enjoy my pretties.
Everything in bold is what I wrote in.
Everything else is My Immortal. (Which I –thankfully- don't own)
Chapter 1.
AN: Special fangz (get it, coz Im goffik) Hmm, no I didn't know that because that is not a real word. Now if you mean gothic then no I still don't believe you. 2 my gf (ew not in that way) Wasn't thinking that until you said it. Now I don't think I believe you mean it in that way. raven, Wow you actually used a comma! Everyone let's throw a party for her! bloodytearz666 4 helpin me wif da story and spelling. I wonder if 'Raven' purposely fucked up the spelling. Questions, questions. U rok! Justin ur da luv of my deprzzing life u rok 2! Is this 'Justin' real? Or is his he one of her 'special' friends? MCR ROX! And the reason for the random band shout out is because?
Now I'm going to try to interpret that wonderful (NOT) AN.
AN: Special thanks (get it, cause I'm gothic) to my girlfriend (eww not in that way) Raven, bloodytearz666 for helping me with the story and spelling. You rock! Justin you're the love of my depressing life, you rock too! My Chemical Romance (MRC) rocks!
See how almost better that sounds spelled right?
Hi my name is Ebony Dark'ness Dementia Wow that fits you great!* Raven Way Three middle names? Where Ebony's parents smoking something like Albus's were when they named him? and I have long ebony black hair (that's how I got my name) No shit Sherlock. with purple streaks and red tips that reaches my mid-back and icy blue eyes like limpid tears and a lot of people tell me I look like Amy Lee Amy Lee is pretty, something you are not! (AN: if u don't know who she is get da hell out of here!) Bitch. I'm not related to Gerard Way but I wish I was because he's a major fucking hottie. If you think and I quote 'he's a major fucking hottie' why the hell would you want to be related to him? I'm a vampire but my teeth are straight and white. Argg! No! She read Twilight! I have pale white skin. I guessed that sense it goes with the whole 'Look at me I'm so totally a goth!' I'm also a witch, and I go to a magic school called Hogwarts in England where I'm in the seventh year (I'm seventeen). Holy crap, call the press! I'm a goth (in case you couldn't tell) Really now? and I wear mostly black. I love Hot Topic No! You will not ruin my favorite store! and I buy all my clothes from there. I would have never guessed. Your smartness astounds me. For example today I was wearing a black corset with matching lace around it and a black leather miniskirt, pink fishnets and black combat boots. I was wearing black lipstick, white foundation, black eyeliner and red eye shadow. You used almost three lines to explain the slut clothes you're wearing? I think I can see a theme coming soon! I was walking outside Hogwarts. It was snowing and raining so there was no sun, Hello dip shit it's called sleet, of course there would be no sun. which I was very happy about. Of course you would be. A lot of preps stared at me. I put up my middle finger at them. How do you know they weren't admiring your wonderful whore clothes? Always ask before giving them the finger.
"Hey Ebony!" shouted a voice. I looked up. It was…. Draco Malfoy! Hmmm, not so OOC expect he doesn't shout, but other than that it's ok. What's with the '…' though?
"What's up Draco?" I asked.
"Nothing." he said shyly. Now that! That my friends, is OCC. Somewhere the real Draco Malfoy just committed suicide. But then, I heard my friends call me and I had to go away. Making that epic dialog utterly pointless.
AN: IS it good? PLZ tell me fangz! Hell no it's not good! I think I shall go buy brain bleach now.
Congrats you just got through one whole chapter of my Immortal. Yes you might be cringing by now or crying at how badly written it is, but with my help we can get through this. Together. Right chapter two here we go.
WARNING! You might want to grab a pillow or something to bite, punch, rip, or do what you must to not throw your computer out the window.
Chapter : Fangz 2 bloodytearz666 4 helpin me wif da chapta! Again I ask, is Raven purposely fucking up this story? BTW preps stop flaming ma story ok! Never! When you write good, I'll stop trashing it.
Interpret time!
(I think she meant) AN: Thanks to bloodytearz666 (Raven) for helping me with the chapter! By The Way preps stop flaming my story ok! (It scares me that I know what she's talking about.)
next day I woke up in my bedroom. Wow, how abnormal that is! Because you know I never sleep in my bedroom. It was snowing and raining again. Yes, we all know expect you and Raven that it is called sleet! I opened the door of my coffin and drank some blood from a bottle I had. Coffin…Bottle of Blood…did you get that at Hot Topic? My coffin was black ebony Same color! and inside it was hot pink velvet with black lace on the ends. I thought Ebony were goffic? Shouldn't she not like pink? I got out of my coffin and took of my giant MCR t-shirt which I used for pajamas. Like the whore you are you of course didn't were any pants. Instead, I put on a black leather dress, Sounds uncomfortable a pentagram necklace, combat boots and black fishnets on. I put on four pairs of earrings in my pierced ears, and put my hair in a kind of messy bun. Yes, my guess that this is going to be a repeating theme is coming true so far! My friend, Willow (AN: Raven dis is u!) No fucking way! woke up then and grinned at me. She flipped her long waist-length raven black hair with pink streaks and opened her forest-green eyes. Hold the potion! Did I read that right? Did 'Willow' really just wake up, grin, flip her hair, THEN open her eyes? Is she some freaky vampire as well? She put on her Marilyn Manson t-shirt with a black mini, fishnets and pointy high-heeled boots. Readers! We have another slut abroad! We put on our makeup (black lipstick white foundation and black eyeliner.)
"OMFG, I saw you talking to Draco Malfoy yesterday!" she said excitedly. Oh was she one of the friends that called Ebony yesterday?
"Yeah? So?" I said, blushing. Call the Daily Prophet! Ebony blushed!
"Do you like Draco?" she asked as we went out of the Slytherin common room and into the Great Hall. Err, aren't the Slytherin common rooms like in the dungeons? How can they walk straight into the Great Hall?
"No I so fucking don't!" I shouted. Yes, because I always curse and scream when my friend ask if I like someone.
"Yeah right!" she exclaimed. Just then, Draco walked up to me.
"Hi." he said.
"Hi." I replied flirtily. Huh? That makes no sense. Maybe if she wrote, 'flirting a bit with him' or something like that, it would be better.
"Guess what." he said.
"What?" I asked.
"Well, Good Charlotte are having a concert in Hogsmeade." he told me. Muggle band. Wizard village. Totally makes sense.
"Oh. My. Fucking. God!" I screamed. I thought she was goth! They don't believe in God, do they? I love GC. Would have never guessed. They are my favorite band, besides MCR. Really! I again would have never guessed.
"Well…. do you want to go with me?" he asked.I gasped. Because that's what I do when someone asks me out. What an epic chat Draco and Ebony had there, I think Draco said the most words.
You now made it through two chapters of My Immortal. Go celebrate! Now here's chapter 3, let's hope it's a little better though I doubt that very very much.
Chapter 3. Deep breath in, and out.
AN: STOP FLAMMING DA STORY PREPZ OK! odderwize fangs2 da goffik ppl 4 da good reveiws! Nooo! Someone gave this bitch good reviews? Can someone get bail ready for me, I might need it.FANGS AGEN RAVEN! oh yeah, BTW I don't own dis or da lyrics 4 Good Chralotte. Might be the only part that's good and spelled right in this whole chapter, this is if you do spell it right. Also, you can't even say you 'don't own' Harry Potter because there is really nothing Harry Potter about this. I think J K Rolling would cry if she read this.
Interpret Time!
AN: STOP FLAMMING THE STORY PREEPS OK! Otherwise thanks to the gothic people for the good reviews! THANKS AGAIN RAVEN! Oh yeah, By The Way I don't own this or the lyrics for Good Charlotte.
On the night of the concert I put on my black lace-up boots with high them were ripped red fishnets. Then I put on a black leather minidress with all this corset stuff on the back and front. Do you mean lace? I put on matching fishnet on my arms. Matching fishnets on your arms? What the hell is that? For your outfit though were going to sing a little song, ready everyone? S-L-U-T What does that spell? Slut! I straightened my hair and made it look all spiky. How did you straighten and spike it? I felt a little depressed then, so I slit one of my wrists. Wow! You just slit one of you wrist for the heck of it! I read a depressing book while I waited for it to stop bleeding and I listened to some GC. Yeah, because when I slit my wrist I always just read while waiting for it to stop bleeding. Not like go to the nurse or anything. I painted my nails black and put on TONS of black eyeliner. Did you have anything left after you used TONS of it? Then I put on some black lipstick. Shocker. I didn't put on foundation because I was pale anyway. Yet you put it on yesterday and the day before. I drank some human blood so I was ready to go to the concert. Oh! That's why you slit your wrist! So you can drink more blood! Makes sense now…NOT!
I went outside. Draco was waiting there in front of his flying car. I thought he hated muggle stuff? He was wearing a Simple Plan t-shirt (they would play at the show too), baggy black skater pants, black nail polish and a little eyeliner (AN: A lot fo kewl boiz wer it ok!) Personally I saw this one guy that did look really hot in eyeliner, but not every boy can pull it off.
"Hi Draco!" I said in a depressed voice. You shouldn't have used the exclamation point then sweetheart.
"Hi Ebony." he said back. We walked into his flying black Mercedes-Benz (the license plate said 666) So creative. and flew to the place with the concert. I see your middle name is coming into effect here. On the way we listened excitedly to Good Charlotte and Marilyn Manson. We both smoked cigarettes and drugs. I bet you were on drugs when you wrote this…bitch. When we got there, we both hopped out of the car In mid air! Please let it be in mid air! We went to the mosh pit at the front of the stage and jumped up and down as we listened to Good Charlotte. Because only preps dance at concerts. Us goffic only jump up and down!
"You come in cold, you're covered in blood
They're all so happy you've arrived
The doctor cuts your cord, hands you to your mom
She sets you free into this life." sang Joel (I don't own da lyrics 2 dat song). Wow, that made the happiest day of your life turn into something from a horror movie. If you did own the lyrics maybe your story would be a little better.
"Joel is so fucking hot." I said to Draco, pointing to him as he sung, filling the club with his amazing voice. Yes, because all guys want you to say someone else is hotter than them when you're on a date.
Suddenly Draco looked sad. Only someone stupid would not know why.
"What's wrong?" I asked as we moshed to the music. Then I caught on. Wow, how many brain cells died for you to figure that out?
"Hey, it's ok I don't like him better than YOU!" I said. All the goffic sound like preps now! We use it to confuse people.
"Really?"asked Draco sensitively and he put his arm around me all protective. IT'S MURDER I TELL YOU! MURDER! The poor Hp cannon is dead somewhere. Please bow your head and have a moment of silence.
"Really." I said. "Besides I don't even know Joel and he's going out with Hilary fucking Duff. I fucking hate that little bitch." I said disgustedly, thinking of her ugly blonde face. Well when you said 'Hilary fucking Duff' I kind of guess that you fucking hated her, but how could she have a blonde face? Is Hilary Duff suddenly Harvey Duff?
The night went on really well, and I had a great time. So did Draco. After the concert, we drank some beer and asked Benji and Joel for their autographs and photos with them. "But then realized that we were wasted and were actually asking two poles for their autograph." We got GC concert tees. Draco and I crawled back into the Mercedes-Benz, Because like the good role models they are there probably trashed and high and couldn't get on their two feet. but Draco didn't go back into Hogwarts, instead he drove the car into…TO THEIR DEATHS? the Forbidden Forest! CLOSE ENOUGH!
Congratulations! You have now read three chapters of My Immortal. Again we ask you to bow your head for a moment of silence for all the poor brain cells that died while reading that. Stay tune for the next chapter, we get to see if something kills them in the Forbidden Forest! Let's all cross out fingers and pray that's what happens!