Authors Note: I fell in love with this song and I just had to write a fic about it. If you haven't heard it, go listen to it, it's Hinder, Lips of an Angel. It's just great. Review and let me know what you think!
Disclaimer: I own nothing.
I flopped down on the bed in our hotel room for the night and let out a sigh as I reached over for the remote. Things have been going pretty well for me lately. I'm beginning a feud with the most well known man in our business of all time, I'm in the best shape of my life, and I have a wonderful girlfriend. I have nothing to complain about yet something isn't right. I have a gnawing, empty feeling in the pit of my stomach that never seems to want to leave.
I flicked on the TV and began to aimlessly browse through the multitude of channels. I don't know when the feeling came to me, I guess it was a little after I left her. It was the worst mistake I've ever made in my entire life. I regret it every day, but she's over it now. She's happy with Dave and I have Maria.
I think Maria notices that I'm not all here sometimes, that I'm thinking about something else besides her. But she's a real sweetheart about it all. I feel bad that I can't give her everything that she deserves, but I'm just not there yet. And I'm not sure if I ever will be.
I finally decide to stop on Sportscenter and I try to pay attention to the scores running across the bottom of the screen but my mind keeps drifting back to her. I hear a knocking at the door and I sigh. It's probably Hunter wanting to go out again.
"I'll be there in a minute." I grumbled as I got up from the bed and moved over to the door. I thought I heard some sniffling on the other side but I just brushed it off to something on TV. I pull open the door and I see her there with tears pouring down her face and her hair going in every direction, but she still looked as beautiful as ever. "Trish, is everything ok?" I whispered as I held open my arms for her and held her tight while she sobbed into my chest.
I slowly maneuvered her into the hotel room and got her to sit down on the couch next to me. "Shh, Trish, everything's going to be ok. I promise." I whispered into her hair in the hopes that Maria wouldn't hear me over the noise that the shower was creating.
Honey why you calling me so late
It's kinda hard to talk right now
Honey why you crying is everything okay
I gotta whisper cause I can't be too loud
I held Trish for a while until she began to calm down and the tears stopped. I brushed a piece of hair away from her faced and tucked it behind her ear. It's been so long since I've seen her, really seen her. Sure, I've passed her in the halls and we'd give a quick wave and look the other way, but things have never been the same.
I forgot how nice it felt to hold her in my arms. There's just something about her that no one else seems to notice. Like the way she scrunches her nose when she gets confused, or the way she runs a hand through her hair when she gets nervous, or the twinkle she gets in her eyes when she laughs. Having her here makes me feel full again, makes me feel alive.
"I've missed you Trish." I whisper as she snakes her arms around me and gives me a quick squeeze as she continued to lay her head on my chest and let out a small sigh.
Well, my girl's in the next room
Sometimes I wish she was you
I guess we never really moved on
"I'm sorry for everything that happened before, for what I did. Even though it happened so long ago I want you to know that I regret it." I said quietly as I ran a hand through her blonde hair.
"I wish I could build a time machine and just go back to that day and I would have never left you." I explained as she looked up at me with her brown eyes that I fell in love with, that I'm still in love with. I wiped away her remaining tears with my thumb. She brought her hand up to my face and ran it across the bottom of my jaw and down my neck to my chest.
"I know Randy. I miss you too." She replied as my heart began to beat at light speed. Even though things ended between the two of us months ago I would walk across five deserts and swim ten entire oceans for her.
It's really good to hear your voice saying my name
It sounds so sweet
Coming from the lips of an angel
Hearing those words it makes me weak
I never want this moment to end. I want to stay like this with her here forever. While I'm holding her nothing can go wrong. I'm on top of the world and nothing and no one can bring me down. She's like a drug, she makes me high and I never want to give that feeling up.
I stare into her eyes and think back to all the time we spent together. The time on the beach where we had a picnic and I brought her roses, the time that I went to her sister's wedding and we danced together the entire night, the time that she spent Christmas with my family, all the nights we stared up into the stars and talked about our future together. I want to lean down and kiss her soft pink lips just like before but then the pounding of the water on the shower floor remind me of Maria.
And I never wanna say goodbye
But girl you make it hard to be faithful
With the lips of an angel
"I never thought you'd be back here talking to me again." I said to her as she just buried her head in my chest and let out another sigh.
"I had a dream about you the other night." She stated as I let out a small chuckle knowing that I dream of her every night.
"Does he know you're here?" I whisper to her as I remember her boyfriend, Dave, one of my best friends.
"No." She replied quietly as she looked up at me again.
"He probably wouldn't be too happy if he found you here, would he?" I ask her she shakes her head and her eyes begin to fill with tears again.
It's funny that you're calling me tonight
And yes I've dreamt of you too
And does he know you're talking to me
Will it start a fight
"What about Maria?" She asked me as I looked into her eyes that threatened to spill tears. My heart broke into a million pieces knowing that I might be the cause of some of those tears. I let out a sigh.
"She's in the shower." I replied as I couldn't bear to look at her any longer and I looked over at the door that Maria was locked behind.
"She doesn't know I'm in here, does she?" Trish asked me as I shook my head. There are times where I wonder what would my life be like if Trish was still by my side. If I had never left her and she never went out with Dave and if I never went out with Maria. I've been with Maria for almost five months now and I still wonder. She took my hand in hers and began to play with our fingers. It was something that she always use to do whenever she was thinking about something. I found it amazingly cute. I still do.
No I don't think she has a clue
Well my girl's in the next room
Sometimes I wish she was you
I guess we never really moved on
"Randy I don't like things now. I want things to go back to how they were. I miss us." She said to me as I savored her saying that.
"I do too, Trish." I replied as I wished that I could be strong and tell her that we both have other people now. I wish that I could hold her without the rush of emotions that have come flooding back to me. I wish that I could be a normal person around her but I can't because she makes me weak.
It's really good to hear your voice saying my name
It sounds so sweet
Coming from the lips of an angel
Hearing those words it makes me weak
I want to be able to carry Trish over to the bed and hold her until she falls asleep and just be able to lay there and watch her. I want to never have to leave her side again no matter what. I want to be able to kiss her like there's no tomorrow so I can show her what she really means to me, but I could never do that to Maria. I promised myself I would never hurt anyone like I hurt Trish again.
And I never wanna say goodbye
But girl you make it hard to be faithful
With the lips of an angel
"Can't we just leave and never come back?" She asked me as she looked up at me again with her alluring brown eyes.
"What do you mean?" I responded as I began to play with a strand of her silky blonde hair.
"Can't we just go buy a little house on the beach and leave everything behind? Just you and me?" She asked as her voice was filled with hope.
"I wish we could honey, but we both have jobs here. We have fans. We have family. We have our friends. And you have Dave. If I could I would, trust me, but we have too much here." I answered as I saw a crushed look pass over her pretty face. My heart fell but I knew there was nothing else I could do. I want to be able to be there for her but there's no way I can do that, at least not now.
It's really good to hear your voice saying my name
It sounds so sweet
Coming from the lips of an angel
Hearing those words it makes me weak
"Can we just stay like this then, just for a little while longer?" She asked me as I nodded. The water in the shower stopped which meant that Maria would be out soon, which also meant that Trish would have to leave.
I hate waking up not seeing Trish there next to me. I hate not being able to make her laugh. I hate not being able to hold her whenever I feel like it. I hate not being able to kiss her pain away right now.
And I never wanna say goodbye
But girl you make it hard to be faithful
With the lips of an angel
The blow dryer turns on in the bathroom and it's just a matter of minutes before Maria opens the door directly in front of us.
"I guess I need to get going." Trish whispered with a sigh.
"Yeah..." I trailed off as I let go of the piece of hair that was wrapped around my finger.
"I don't want to go." She said quietly as she looked up at me.
"I don't want you to either." I replied. I took my hand and placed it underneath her chin as I slowly began to lower my lips to meet hers. I was centimeters away from her before she abruptly got up from the couch and began to head towards the door with tears in her eyes once again. She placed her hand on the doorknob and looked back at me once last time before she swung the door open and left.
I let out a sigh as soon as the door clicked shut and the hair dryer turned off. The bathroom door opened and Maria appeared from behind it.
"Hey babe, everything alright?" She asked me as she sat down next to me on the couch and put her hand on my arm.
"Yep." I answered as I offered her a small smile and looked back over at the door to the hallway in the hopes that Trish might come back knocking again. I never did find out why she came.
And I never wanna say goodbye
But girl you make it hard to be faithful
With the lips of an angel
Honey why you calling me so late
"I'm gunna get going to bed then. I'm pretty tired." Maria said to me as she gently kissed the side of my face and got up from the couch and headed over towards the bed.
Maybe I should just end things with Maria and seclude myself to my life of pain. Or maybe I'll keep putting on this front and keep pretending like I don't hurt. Whatever happens, I'm still going to wish that I never left her. Life without Trish is like a world without color.
"You coming Randy?" Maria asked me as she pulled the comforter up over her tiny frame.
"Yeah, I'll be there in a minute." I replied as I got up from the couch. At least when I sleep I can see her in my dreams.