Okay...So this is a story by Erbby. I guess I gotta do some disclaimer thing here, so um, this story involves charcters from the anime/manga series, Inuyasha. In no way do I own any characters from the Shichinintai or the series Inuyasha. They aresimply being used by me in this story, but are owned by Miss Rumiko Takahashi, Yomiuri TV, Sunrise, or whatever company produces the manga or anime of this story! Also, the title, "Seven Brides for Seven Brothers" is not mine, either. This is the title of a movie made in 1954. Seeing this movie in my family's movie collection gave me the INSPIRATION for the story. In no way do I own this movie's rights or the story behind it. It is the property of its respected owners.
Whew! Okay, now that that is done, I can do another disclaimer or just notey section: The "seven brides" and the "host" of the story are mine. Just so you people know, Bride Seven is Erbby here! So just be reminded of my cameo appearence. Another thing: in no way do I support crude and horrible violence and murder. It is wrong, but it's just used positively in this story for the sake of the Shichinintai. Also! Since this is a script, I've shortened the Shichinintai's names at some points...all I did was take out the "kotsu" of their names! Thank you...and enjoy!
Host- Hello, I'm So-and-so McHosty and welcome to our little matchmaking show, "Seven Brides for Seven Brothers." Tonight our lucky "Seven Brothers" call themselves the "Shichinintai!" Everyone, please give a round of applause for Kyoukotsu, Mukotsu, Ginkotsu, Suikotsu, Jakotsu, Renkotsu, and Bankotsu!
(A curtain drops revealing the Shichinintai. Audience applauds. Bankotsu grins and waves.)
Ban- Yo!
Host- So, are you lucky fellows ready for some beautiful women?
(Audience applauds. Jakotsu grunts.)
Ja- No, not really.
(Host motions his hand towards a door.)
Host- Please, welcome your "Seven Brides!"
(Out the door walk six beautiful women, followed by Erbby, the cute one!)
Host- Please, don't mind the one at the end; she may twitch.
(Erbby twitches.)
Host- Girls, take a look at our seven lucky bachelors!
(All of the girls look over at Bankotsu and squeal.)
Bride One- He's so cute!
Bride Two- I want him!
Erbby- Sweet Jesus…he's gorgeous!
(Host clears his throat and grabs Bride One's arm.)
Host- Kyoukotsu, here's your bride!
(Bride One walks up to Kyoukotsu, looks up at him, screams, and runs away.)
Host- (sarcastically) Okay, that was normal! Bride number two, let me introduce you to Mukotsu!
(Host takes Bride Two by the arm and walks over to the Shichinintai.)
Bride Two- Oh! Is he the cute one?
Host- Uh…if, by cute, you mean completely and utterly repulsive, then sure! Why not?
(Bride Two giggles. She stops when she is brought over to Mukotsu. She looks down at him.)
Bride Two- …Ew.
(She kicks him and walks away. The rest of the Shichinintai laugh.)
Host- Now, Bride Three it's your turn!
Bride Three- Oh, great!
(Bride Three is brought to Ginkotsu. She starts to twitch.)
Ban- Hey, I thought you said the other one was the twitcher.
(Host looks at Bride Three with confusion.)
Host- Yeah, I thought so, too.
Bride Three- (pointing at Ginkotsu) Wh…what is this thing? I thought you said they were all human! But this…isn't human!
Ren- Oh, he's human, alright. And then some!
(Shichinintai laugh.)
Gin- shi shi shi shi…
(Bride Three twitches, screams, and runs away.)
Host- We're not having any luck today, now are we! Okay, Bride number four, it's time for you!
Bride Four- But…I don't want a freaky one!
Host- Oh, but Suikotsu's not freaky, he's a doctor! And you know what "doctor" means, right?
Bride Four- (smiling and nodding) Oh, yeah!
(Bride Four is brought to Suikotsu who, at the moment, has reverted to his good side. He brings out his hand for a handshake.)
Sui- Hello. It's a pleasure to meet you.
(Bride Four gasps. Her eyes start to swell with tears. She looks at the Host.)
Bride Four- He's…he's so sweet! I LOVE HIM!
(She jumps into Suikotsu's arms and he holds her.)
Host- Aw, I'm so happy! We have our first successful couple tonight, folks!
(Audience applauds.)
Bride Four- And I'm happy, too! Nothing could be wrong with a man so wonderful!
Host- Well, when you fall in love, you must take the bad with the good! And there's no exception with Suikotsu.
(Bride Four looks at the Host, flames in her eyes.)
Bride Four- (deep, evil voice) What's wrong with him?
Host- Well, Suikotsu has…
Bride Four- What?
Host- Multiple Personality Disorder.
(Bride Four's face fills with confusion. She looks up at Suikotsu, now reverted to his assassin side. He holds up his hand with the claw-like attachment. Her face is now filled with fear.)
Sui- Hey baby!
(Bride Four twitches, screams, and runs away.)
Host- (scratching head) There's been a lot of twitching tonight. And Bride Seven hasn't been doing much!
Erbby- Yeah!
(Host clears his throat.)
Host- Ahem, now, Bride Five, here's your match; Jakotsu!
(Bride Five looks at Jakotsu, up, down, left, right. She then turns to the Host, pointing at Jakotsu.)
Bride Five- Um, isn't this show called "Seven Brides for Seven Brothers?"
Host- Yes? And your point being…
Bride Five- (scowling) Well, this isn't a guy! I mean, come on! He looks so…
(Jakotsu pulls out his sword, Jakotsutou and slices Bride Five. She falls to the ground…dead.)
Ja- Next!
(Shichinintai laugh. Host twitches.)
Host- Okay…Bride Six, meet Renkotsu.
(Bride Six skips over to Renkotsu.)
Bride Six- (waving) Hi!
Ren- (smiling) Hey.
Bride Six- Ooh! What's under your bandana-thingy?
(She pulls off his head wrap thing and screams.)
Bride Six- Ew! He's bald!
(Renkotsu gasps. Suddenly, Bride Six gives a blood curdling scream and falls to the floor…dead. Jakotsu's Jakotsutou is covered with more blood.)
Ja- Next!
(All Shichinintai laugh, except Renkotsu.)
Ren- (growls) Damn! I wanted to get some tonight!
Host- Well, I guess that leaves us with one more bride! Bankotsu, meet your match, Bride Seven, or as she likes to be called…Erbby!
(Erbby walks over to Bankotsu.)
Erbby- Hey!
Host- Erbby enjoys musical theatre, writing, long walks on the beach, baking cookies, and let's not forget, she also enjoys…
(The Host pauses and looks at his card, shocked.)
Ban- (uninterested) Yeah? What else?
Host- (coughs) Ahem, um, she also enjoys plotting and causing the demise for most of the human race.
Erbby- Hells yeah, biz-niches!
(Bankotsu looks at Erbby and smiles.)
Ban- That's friggin' awesome!
(Host looks at him with his mouth gaped. He is in complete shock.)
Host- What?
Ban- (laughing) She likes destroying people! That's so awesome!
Erbby- Heh, heh! That's right, baby!
(Bankotsu grabsErbby and pulls her to his side.)
Ban- She's mine!
Host- (shocked) But she's the CRAZY one! Why would you want someone who kills people for the hell of it? And not to mention, she constantly twitches!
Ban- So, what do you think we do for a living? She's perfect! And look how cute she is! I mean, even Jakotsu likes her and he hates women with an undying passion!
(Host looks over at Jakotsu; the gay man likes Erbby!)
Ja- Aw! She's so cute!
(Host sighs.)
Host- (towards audience) Everyone, it seems we have a successful couple tonight.
(Host looks at Bankotsu and Erbby, who are making out.)
Host- (screaming) Hey! You two! Save it for later!
(They stop.)
Host- (laughing) Well, thank you for tuning into "Seven Brides for Seven Brothers." Good night!
Ja- Hey!
(Host looks back at Shichinintai.)
Host- (evil voice) What?
Ja- You said, before the show, that if some of us weren't chosen by a bride, we get another prize…of our choice.
Host- But you killed your bride, and Renkotsu's!
(Renkotsu starts to cry.)
Ja- Oh, come on! She wouldn't have chosen me, anyway!
Host- (sighing) Fine! What do you want, Jakotsu?
(Jakotsu starts to giggle.)
Ja- Oh, you know what I want. We talked about it backstage!
Host- (sighing) Okay, boys, bring him out!
(The crew members roll out Jakotsu's prize on one of those refrigerator moving things.)
Ja- He's here!
(His prize is Inuyasha, wrapped in a straight jacket with a gag in his mouth. His eyes are filled with fear. Jakotsu jumps on him.)
Ja- (crying) I'm so happy!
Host- (sighing) This has been another episode of "Seven Brides for Seven Brothers." Join us next week for some more matchmaking fun! Good night!
THE END