Most hypnotism encourages the subject into a state of sleeping before they're put under the spell. But not this hypnotism.
The Egbert-Lalonde parents were cunning and intrusive when it comes to acclimating their children into their new life in another country. Both John and Rose, who live in opposite sides of the continent, never had a problem leaving the United States behind and heading to a completely foreign culture on some remote island nation, and that was the problem, thought the newlywed couple.
It was clear from their long chatting over the phone and on the internet that on the island of Alternia they will meet their friends face to face for the first time. Their Texan friend Dave and the strange girl Jade, who was homeschooled on a deserted island, as well as some of the local kids, including members of the Alternian royal family, were the real friends of the grimdorks.
But one doubt was still lingering in the mind of the concerned parents, when they checked out their children's friends. It turns out their Alternian internet buddies, despite living on the same island together, have rarely met each other in person. A pressing concern to be sure. A measure had to be taken in order to make sure John and Rose were having the proper interpersonal interactions, not just online.
Thus father Egbert and mother Lalonde turned to old books of Dubious Pranks and Fake Wizardry and devised the Interpersonal Necessity Sleeping Hypnosis.
John was the easiest one, he wasn't even aware the procedure is being taken on him until it was too late and he was hypnotized, ironically enough, in his sleep. His last normal sleep.
The night afterwards he couldn't sleep, meaning the hypnosis worked. The stars seemed heavy and the clock ticked slow on his first insomniac night. He didn't know yet, but the hypnosis wouldn't let him fall to sleep unless under specific conditions.
He got up and tiredly walked his way to his computer. He was not surprised to know the insomnia robbed him of sleep, but not of sleepiness, he almost dozed off as his computer lit up, but not quite to fall asleep. "Mnah!" he grunted to himself as the ding of his OS "woke" him up from almost-sleep.
A few clicks made tiredly slow, and Pesterchum was open. Dave and Jade were online, so was Rose, but for some reason her account was locked. Probably her mom didn't like something she did with her computer. He pondered which friend he should bother at this late night period, and then he remembered Alternia was a completely different time zone, he didn't know exactly what time it was on Alternia, but he guessed it couldn't be too late for talking like in the western coast.
He decided to pester Dave, if it really was late on Alternia, he didn't want to wake Jade up, and she really did care for her dream. He activated the voice chat option and made the call, putting on his headset to not wake his dad with their conversation.
"You've reached the world's best shore in the pre apocalypse area." Answered a deep yet childish familiar voice. John was jump-started by Dave's sudden greeting.
He got over himself quick, "Why pre apocalypse and not ever?" John asked way too late.
"Cuz post-apocalyptic earth us rebels to nature and the dead society will have all the shore took by the man over 100,000 years of human existence. And though they'll old and dirty like society's jizz-sock, filled with buildings, the fact we claimed it will make it the best shore of all times. Later though we'll spend a few months clearing radiation from fluffy new tails."
"So worth it." John answered "I guess."
"Yeah" Dave said and John could hear him stretch "but until then I have this glorious masterpiece of sand and water put randomly against a monarchy of horned weirdos."
"It's not nice to call your host country weirdos, Dave!"
"Yeah, I know. I just like making fun of them cause I feel alienated by what appear to be their superior culture."
"Superior, huh?"
"Yeah, who do you think caused the apocalypse of beach claiming? The atom bombs of wrinkly politicians? Nah man, it will probably be their psycho sea queen."
"Yeah, I heard you're friend with her daughter. She's part of Karkat's gang or something absurd like that?"
"Yeah, but she is on the other side of the fucking island, in the Girls' Academy." Dave said, John heard a faint male voice in the background, a snotty one with a wavy accent. "I am here with the dudes in the Alternian Oval Meat-Tube-fest."
"There's one royal prick in the ass though, something like her cousin from a 32nd degree or some shit." John heard the wavy voice again. "Yeah, he's like 1,000,000,612nd to the throne." Dave confirmed.
"Anyway Egbert." Dave said "Why are you up so late?"
"How do you know it's late in here?"
"Dude, seriously? I've been in here for like 5 days and we've talked dozens of times since then. I know the time difference by heart. I did it back home too. It's very ironic that the first thing I'm making sure to know in this brave new land is what the sun is like in my old land."
"Yeah, I never really concerned myself with time-zones very much." John chuckled. "I just knew you were some time ahead and Rose a little more ahead, and Jade is you know… asleep when she needs to be, and awake when isn't."
"What about the Trolls?"
"The Alternians always called to me, trying to troll me, and even when we became friends Vriska was always the one calling me. And whenever I called her it was always an inconvenient time and somehow was messed up with the schedules of other Alternians I stopped following."
"Yeah, I get that. It's a lot more synchronized when we're all on the same island, or better, in the same fucking place. Like our timelines out synchronized now or something."
"But you're throwing us out of sync, Egbert. You're a broken metronome, an early clock. Go to sleep."
"I can't."
"Too excited, miss nervous?"
"No, that's not it. I mean, I am excited for meeting you all there…"
"I'd kill you if you weren't."
"But there's another reason I can't sleep."
"You know, I think Rose has said something about it, bubbling some crazy shit about hypnosis."
"Yeah, she's weird like that."
"She's weirder than the time you're awake in, now." Dave said, ready to hang up, "Go to sleep."
"Hey Dave…"
"Yeah?"
"This may sound weird…"
"There's no such thing on this coconuts-melting island."
"Can we cuddle?"
"Like, when you get here?" Dave paused, John could practically hear him blushing, he himself was too tired and too serious to blush. "I guess."
"No, I mean right now."
"Oh…" Dave said, and John could hear the blush fading away, "Dude, my arms aren't long enough."
"But if my mine are? Like what if my arms would pop out at random places and just now they pop up right next to you. Would you cuddle me?"
"Sorry dude, I'm the big spoon." And he hung up.
Rose was more difficult, she's always more difficult. When it comes to moving, the packing and the booking of the plane, every aspect was taken to absurd details, like she was going to infiltrate Alternia to take down the queen rather than just moving there to be with her friends. And like any infiltration mission, the biggest enemy is within. Rose has suspected her mother had intentions of achieving something in her trip. And she wasn't going to let down until Rose fell right into where she wanted.
The first hint for said intention was when Rose was organizing her books in a tree formation according to author's name, when she heard a slow A-sharp ambience coming from the living room below. She squinted her eyes and brought out the sound sealing towel she bought and jammed it under the door. Mostly for privacy purposes and for the silence of book organizing. Besides, she didn't trust sounds, sounds were the source of manipulation used by the church of the old days. The catchy chants and mob mentality caught the believers and pointed the witches out. She wasn't going to fall for that, even if it nothing but her mom's attempt to be more musical for the sake of her new husband, who was about to move in there in Rose's absence.
The time was dinner, the night before her flight, when Rose felt that whatever her mom was planning she was done with it. Both Lalondes knew this is going to be the hard part, getting Rose to swallow her medicine. Perhaps literally? Rose couldn't take the risk, she threw her dinner away and went up to her room, much to her mother's disapproval. She ate one of the many emergency dinners she held in her room, after microwaving them. But only for 30 seconds, that was the minimal time when the microwaves could go without the encrypted messages clearly put in the device.
The blonde girl pulled out all her sound blockers and sealed the room entirely. She returned to her organizing with a frustrated grumble, followed by her stomach's grumble. Half-warm microwave dinners aren't very satiating, but it's worth it if she doesn't want her mother's malicious plan ruining her entire time on Alternia.
Rose looked out of the window padded with foam at every possible direction. It was late evening and the sun has already sunk down beyond the horizon. The season was stormy and a heavy storm just past, leaving a broken sky full of cloud, bending the starlight into interesting and beautiful patterns. Rose wanted to be at the observatory and watch them lying down relaxed.
But that wasn't an option, not when Mom Lalonde was going at it, the observatory was too dangerously easy to mess with. The circular chamber was a perfect hall for transmitting behavior changing inaudible sounds, her favorite velvet pillow may be laced with drugs or something. The telescope itself may be redesigned to twist the light into a hypnotic mirage. In fact, so can her window.
One patch work later and the room was darkened entirely and Rose was safe, for now. There were still over 24 hours of trap setting awaiting, and the night was the perfect opportunity for her mom to strike.
Rose took out her emergency inventory: emergency water and food even worse than microwave dinners. More importantly, a guide she pulled out of the internet on how to check if the computer and internet have been messed with. It's important to tell her friends of her friends of the predicament, but it's more important to stay non-hypnotized. She looked at the printed document carefully. She made sure not to touch the document, in case mom changed the chemicals in the ink months in advance, though it was improbable. The guide read of how to check for subconscious messages in the internet configuration. Rose's hand petted her new cat Vodka Mutiny while reading. She realized her mistake and the cat was out. After sanitizing her hand off hypnotic cat compacts she was ready.
She opened the door a crack with caution, her mom was practicing violin on the second floor hallway. Of course, music have had effective subliminal messages ever since the 1910s that worked on adults, there's no reason why her genius mom couldn't do the same in the present that could work on the impressionable mind of a 16 years old. She needed to use ear-plugs. Her own were out question, she didn't check them often enough to keep her mom away from them. She didn't to use mom's earplugs assuming the scheming adult wouldn't trap her own possessions.
Rose walked down the hall quickly, putting her fingers in her ears. When she reached the hallway she quickly flattened to the wall, to avoid any hypnotic trinkets her mother may be wearing.
"Hey sweetie, having problems sleeping?" her mother stopped the abominable music and asked.
"Yes mom, I'm fine. It's not even close to my sleeping time." Rose replied and jumped quickly across the hallway to the next section of wall.
"Okay, honey. If you do try cuddling with Vodka." Mom said and then giggled.
"The cat, that is. Not the beverage." She kept giggling. "Though I do have some in the lab, if you want any when you're older."
"Speaking of the lab. There's a problem with the internet, can I check what is it in the main computer?" Rose asked, talking really fast, given permission may mean she's ready to receive a dose of hypnotic mess once she enters said room.
"You're better at it than me, so I guess it's okay. Maybe call your cousin Roxy, she may know."
"I'm fine alone." She said, Roxy is probably on the scheme, she thought.
Rose kicked the lab open with her protected foot once the horrible novice violin music proceeded. She held her breath until she saw the chemical detector on her plastic wizard change. 10 second with no change and she took a big breath. She proceeded to the computer on the counter next to the cache of alcohol after making more ridiculous but necessary tests.
She did the first check-up, to see if mom trapped the check-up procedure. She didn't, so Rose continued with the test. The very detailed test. The test basically included searching for various key words and patterns in every main OS file in the machine. She opened the drive of said files and opened the first one. She looked at the long file and back and forth from a list of pattern she ought to look for. The second file she didn't need to return to her guide for all patterns. By the time an hour passed and she was on file 71, she knew all patterns by heart, and there were still 342 files to go. She sighed in frustration. And it's like all files were the same. Some files were only a few lines or ever no lines at all while others were walls of text. Some files were .gif or flash files, and some had music or even were interactive. Rose didn't really know how much through she was. After finishing the fourth folder she found out the fifth had two folders inside, one the length of any other folder, and the other much longer. The sixth folder was even worse, even longer and split to more folders, some of which split to even more folders.
By the time she was finished it was the middle of the night, there were more files and one more folder to be added in the next updates of the OS, but Rose didn't care to read them. She spent half the night in waking nervousness but it seems she is safe. Her room was fortified and locked (in a new personal lock from a far-away shop, obviously) and the net was safe, she could stay there in comfort until her flight (she'll pay for a cab, it's worth it).
She was safe to talk to her friends and tell them.
She took out her laptop and laid on the bed, it was comfy and inviting but for some reason she didn't feel like sleeping, despite being quite tired.
She opened Pesterchum, the first thing that caught her eye was that John was blocked. She missed it! Too busy looking for messages meant for her she didn't notice how her cunning mother made sure to keep the salvation away from John. She knew her mom's pesky husband probably had the same concerns with his son.
She contacted Dave instead.
"Hey, Dave."
"Hello, queen of the night." Dave answered; she heard the sound of waves in the background.
"Are you at the beach?" she asked and yawned.
"Yes, just got to a private fucking piece of heaven, too bad I'm surrounded by nerdy dude, rather than foxy babes."
"Like me, maybe?"
"No."
"How inappropriate to say such offending comments to your friend."
"Aren't you my sister, too? It's like fucking I dunno, Siblings Quarrel."
"We're only siblings in a sense that my single mother was inseminated by your "Bro" father to have twins to give one of each to our respective guardians."
"Yeah, too bad they were lazy ass in telling us for 13 fucking years." Dave said "And also too bad why you're here growing eye-sacks instead of having a good night sleep for tomorrow's visit to Weirdo Island."
"Is this why I'm not a foxy babe."
"You know it, any other time…"
"Yeah, I get it."
"I guess I'm ready to sleep." She added "Too bad I can't tell John about the hypnosis?"
"Wait what?" Dave was dumbfounded, a voice with a lisp sounded angry in the background.
"Yeah, I guess you could tell him." She said and yawned. As she thought of a fitting formulation, her brain dozed off into files and patterns and eventually a sleep-like trance.
"You okay, wise bird?" Dave surprised her, she "woke up" with a start.
"Yeah, I just dozed off." She said and rubbed her eyes, trying not to mess up her microphone. "It's weird, I feel now with the knowledge of retrospect that I was about to fall asleep, leaving you hanging for an answer. But it seems something was keeping… me… from…"
Rose paused, Dave was even more dumbfounded, he didn't have time for this. "No!" Rose exclaimed, "NO! Dammit! How could I… Fuck!"
"Uncharacteristcly for you." Dave said.
"Hold on, Dave. For a few hours. I need to test something." Rose said, with frustration in her voice.
"What could possibly take two hours to test?"
"Hypnosis!"
Waking up in the morning, she didn't knew how her mother did it, but she knew that she succeeded, and knowing John, he fell prey as well too.
She had a sleepless night, and as her water-plane landed for a stop in the west coast, she knew she was going to have a sleepless 12 hour flight. Her only hint was mom's suggestion that she should cuddle with Vodka Mutiny in case she had "trouble sleeping", she knew what hypnosis was dawning on her, but she couldn't realize how it was done, her mother never had an hypnotic voice, she checked.
The only voice convincing enough to hypnotize her was her own inner voice… which was going through everything her mother did… while she was making sure not to be hypnotized… in a sleepless night.
Rose bashed her head lightly against the window next to her seat, it only made her headache worse.
The passengers from the west coast got up and filled the empty seats in the small plane, including the seat next to her, which remained empty throughout the length of the country.
In the seat sat a young boy her age, also looking tired and frustrated.
She didn't pay any mind to the boy and didn't even recognize him. Until he spoke.
"Had a rough night, stranger?" he spoke in a mock detective accent and giggled, but there was no doubt in his identity.
"John?" she asked and looked at him, he indeed matched the face of John, which she only saw a few times, never really paying mind to his appearance.
"Rose!" he exclaimed, not as frustrated as her.
"Why are you on this flight?" she asked, John was supposed to take a proper flight to Alternia's National Airport, instead of this amateurish water-air vehicle. She was also supposed to get on such flight, and meet him in the airport there.
"I couldn't tell time and missed my flight, had to trade a ticket."
"Yeah, so did I." she commented.
"Is it cuz you couldn't sleep?"
"Exactly."
"Y'know, call me crazy. But I think our parents did it to us, for some reason."
"I know as fact they did." Rose said and squinted her eyes.
"They hypnotized us, making us incapable of falling asleep except under specific conditions."
"How do you know that?"
"Because I'm a failure."
"No you're not. I fell to their trolling too."
"You weren't trying to avoid it."
"I guess it's just different POVs" he joked.
"So anyway, what condition did they have, or it is up to us to find out?" he asked.
"No, I know what it is, without mom even telling me, she probably fantasized about a sweet scene in which I found out with somebody special and close to me." Rose motioned 'bluh' with her tongue and face.
"So…" John felt awkward. "What condition is it?"
"Cuddling & Snuggling." She answered.
"Like hugging and spooning and such?"
"Yeah. It's criminal what it is."
John spent some time thinking about it. He eventually started blushing and tried saying something, but closed his mouth. He took courage and spoke.
"I'm really tired." John said.
"I know, that's the point." Rose scowled.
"Well, no… that's not the point." John said "The point is cuddling and having physical connection to sleep, not sleeplessness all the time."
"I guess we did need at least some of it." Said Rose, looking down. "We didn't recognized each other's faces, after all."
"Yeah, and like I said…" he blushed deeper. "I'm really tired."
He didn't need to speak anymore, Rose's head immediately slumped onto his shoulder. She was blushing too, now. He wrapped his arms around her and they shifted awkwardly until reaching a comfortable position, which took long agonizing minutes.
But it worked, within a few more minutes they both their eyes heavy and a sleeping spell was falling on them, this time for real.
They both fell asleep for the duration of the flight to their new home.