Dear Mom,
I'm sorry. I really am. I didn't want to do this but I had no other choice. I love you. I hope you can forgive me one day. I didn't belong here. Here with you, or with Ella and Ari. My time here is done. No matter how hard I try I'm never happy. I haven't smiled for so long except those fake smiles I send to Ella and Ari. You never noticed because you were always working. Look at it this way; one less mouth to feed. I'm sorry Mom. I'm not weak, just courageous. Send my love to Ella and Ari. Keep them happy. If not for me, then for dad. I love you.
~Lots of love
Maximum Ride
I re-read the letter one last time and put it in the envelope. I licked it closed and then turned it around to kiss the front where "Mom" was scribbled in my messy writing. I was done here. My time had come. I wasn't happy. Some people say that people commit suicide because they are weak. I, Maximum Ride, am not weak. I'm simply not satisfied. I don't deserve to live when thoughts like these are running through my mind. I should be grateful. Incredibly grateful for the life that I have. But I'm not. Something's wrong with me. But that's okay. I won't be here much longer. And the funny thing is, I'm not afraid. Not even a little bit.
The wind was blowing harder now. My hair was whipping around my face and hitting my eyes. My eyes. No doubt my mom would miss those the most about me. She always liked my eyes because they were the exact replica of hers. Milk-chocolate brown. The only thing I shared with my mom. The rest of my features came from my dad. The sharp thin nose, the dirty blonde hair, the heart shaped face. My dad. Maybe he's also the reason I'm doing this. I miss my dad. His warm smile, his musical laughter, his warm hands, the twinkle in his eyes. The tears pooled in my eyes as I remembered walking in the room. Shaking him awake, hoping for a game of catch. But he never woke up. It was peaceful, his death. No suffering.
I can't say the same for the rest of us.
I didn't ponder any longer than necessary on the horrid memory. I decided to focus on the beauty around me. The beautiful green pine trees around me, the birds flying higher and higher. Maybe I will get a chance to fly to when I take a leap of faith into the unknown. Or however long it takes to hit rock bottom. The leaves from nearby maple trees were scattered across the ground. I took in a deep breath and smelled chocolate chip cookies. I smiled to myself. The one scent that made my knees go weak. I looked to my right and noticed the sun setting. It was time. I took off my shoes-better not to waste them. The loose gravel pinched my feet and I rubbed them together. It was getting chillier. Shame-I wouldn't get to see the first snowflakes ouch the ground when autumn turned to winter. I took off my sweater and set it with my shoes. I kept my shorts and tank-top on. I kept my eyes open, witnessing the beauty of the trees. Of the sun. Of the air. I stuck my hand out in front of me and picked up my right foot about to take a leap of faith into the unknown. "So let's dance a little harder," I began to sing. All of a sudden, interrupting my peaceful aura, a deep husky voice said "Stop…"