Disclaimer: The X-Files, Scully and Mulder belong to Chris Carter.
Post The Field Where I Died : in Mulder's version of past lives he and Scully are always friends - is it the truth?
I write crazy stories when there is too many changes in my life and too many things to deal with, but at least I got tickets to a Doll's House with Gillian Anderson, so later this month I'll fly to London
Please note that some of this story takes place in another time where people became adults sooner than today, the activities between the main characters don't necessarily reflect my morals on the issue. No really adult scenes in this story.
Memories from a Lost Time
Chapter one
"Mulder, I know you don't wanna hear this, but I don't believe in past lives!" Turning her head she met his annoyed eyes, keeping eye contact until he removed his eyes to the road ahead of him, she squeezed her lips slightly together in equal annoyance.
"But then how do you explain it, Scully? You were there! You listened to both of our regression hypnosis sessions. I have lived several lives before this life."
Exhaling deeply, she turned her head again to face him, "Mulder, the poor woman suffered from Multiple Personality Disorder! Hardly, what you call a reliable witness. She played you. Somehow she had access to these information, I admit the oddness in her knowing about Sullivan Biddle and Sarah Kavanaugh. But she was very sick and unsatisfied with her present life, she saw how willing you were to believe her and possible care for her. She hoped you would rescue her from her husband."
She was tired, the case had pulled at her heart, she always hated cases involving crimes against children, and in this case children had truly suffered, and they had all lost at least one parent. It was always the issue with religious cults. The children ultimately paid the highest price, but, fortunately, they had been able to rescue the children from dying. For unknown reasons Vernon Ephesian had spared their lives, most likely because he had forgotten all about them in his haste of mass suicide.
Mulder's encounter with his soul mate hadn't helped; in his usual enthusiasm for everything with a slight touch of the paranormal, he had made a connection to Melissa, more than ready to believe, she was his soul mate. Unable to look past his own emotions, he had obviously forgotten or dismissed Scully's emotions, expecting her to come along for the ride, and she had. But it was taking more from her than she had to give. Only for so long could she put her own feelings aside to support Mulder and now was the time to face the music.
"But Scully, if you don't believe in past lives, how do you then explain the reason why we are here. What is the purpose of life?"
Closing her eyes, she took a few seconds to think. Honestly, at this moment, she didn't care, too tired and hurt to care a shit. Nope, she wasn't up for discussing the greater purpose of life.
"I think we are here to learn. I don't think a past life can dictate us how to live this life, I like to think we have free wills and that we can control our own lives."
Slowing the car down, Mulder drove into the parking lot in front of Apison Inn, and after parking the car he turned to her. "I think you're right about the free will, Scully. But what if we make special arrangements with important persons before we're reborn? Perhaps arrangements made before we die?"
Pulling herself back together, Scully opened her eyes and used some of her last strength to open the car door, stepping out of the car, she enjoyed the gentle breeze playing with her hair. "Then what, Mulder?"
"It would mean we're destined to meet certain people in our lives, it would mean, it's not random who our parents are or who our romantic partners are. It will explain why we feel connected to some people right away and why we dislike others right away. Look at the possibilities, Scully."
"Right now, all I want to look at is my bed, Mulder!" Hoping to close this discussion, Scully unlocked the door to her room, and turning to face Mulder once more, she was nose to his shirt covered chest. Backing away she looked up, "goodnight, Mulder."
Confused, he stared at her, "but…"
"Try to get some sleep." She offered before closing the door behind her, but while sliding out of her suit jacket and kicking her shoes off, the distant fidgeting sounds of Mulder outside her door caught her ears. Deciding to ignore him, she walked into the bathroom and opened for the hot water in the tub, finally, she felt her muscles relaxing under her skin.
Gliding into the hot water Scully mentally thanked whoever built this motel, the rooms might be small and sparely furniture, she could live with, but someone must have loved hot baths and understood the necessity of a long, soothing bath, because the tub was long enough for her to lay in and be fully covered with water, but not long enough for her to fear getting her head under water, if she against better judgement should fall asleep.
It was heaven! For the first time in 24 hours she was alone with her thoughts, closing her eyes, she intended to block everything out for at least half an hour. It wasn't easy, the hurt sneaked in on her every time she got cosy, like a little worm it dig into her heart dragging a trail of betrayal behind it. The deep sense of betrayal confused her Mulder hadn't done anything to betray her, when in fact he had been the one insisting she stayed beside him during the interviews with Melissa. Normally, they would split up and interview the wives alone to make most of the time. Some degree of hurt was explainable, when your lover found his long lost soul mate and exchanged memories with that person. Had she feared Mulder would leave her for Melissa? No, it wasn't the matter.
Sinking deeper into the tub she felt her eyelids grow heavier, taking a deep breath she wished her mind would slow down.
It was summer and the sun baked down on their lazy bodies lying in the high grass, hiding in their own private world they shared another long kiss. Startled, they broke apart by the sound of dry branches being cracked under feet, somebody was coming, and in grim shock they watched each other. The punishment for being caught would be severe, the love they shared was forbidden and her father would act harsh and without mercy if he ever found out, the family's honour more important than his only daughter's happiness. Relieve washed over them when a coyote came into view, he was the intruder of their privacy. Laughing at their dumb mistake, Running Wild covered her face with wet, hot kisses.
"I love you Singing Bluebird, I'll talk to your father tomorrow. He can't keep us apart any longer."
"I would be honoured to share your tepee and blanket Running Wild" She loved him as wild and passionate as a 15 winter old girl could love a boy, and knowing they belonged together she believed him. They would be bound together before the summer was over.
Running Wild was Mulder and she was Singing Bluebird!
Only the urgency and rushing of their love making betrayed their words, both feared to be caught, feared to be torn apart and given to others. Only in their most intimate moments were they at peace, only in those minutes did they feel at home. For two months they had secretly met in the words, first sharing shy kisses and awkward hugs but with the warmer rays of the sun, their shyness disappeared, and growing bolder, they learned each curves of the other's body, and discovered how smoothly they fit together. Inflamed with love and passion Singing Bluebird gave her body to Running Wild. Knowing how big a gift it was he took her gently and gave his heart in return, it would be her downfall if some one learned about their secret. A girl had no value if she was damaged and he had damaged her in the eyes of the tribe.
When the sun sank to the horizon Singing Bluebird jumped to her feet, dressing in her light summer dress and rearranging her hair, she kissed him lazily one more time.
"Will I see you here tomorrow, Running Wild?" She already missed him and his caressing hands.
"Of course you will. I'll talk to your father before I come here. Everything will be ok, Singing Bluebird."
Licking her lips, she avoided his eyes, "I hope so, I don't know what I will do if my father refuses you."
"He wont, I'm sure of it."
Without another word she walked away from him, praying Running Wild would find a way she softly touched her belly.
When she reached her father's tepee, her mother waved her over with a restless hand and an excited smile. "Singing Bluebird, hurry your father has great news." Before she could ask what it all was about she was being pushed into the tepee.
Her father narrowed his eyes and studied her roughly, feeling how her heart started to pond in fear, she forced herself to stay calm and meet his eyes in question.
"Sit down, daughter." Impatiently, he waited for her to sit down in front of him. "Walking Proud came by to see me today and he was greatly disappointed when you weren't here."
He paused to give her time to explain why she hadn't been home when his guest came, but with a sinking feeling in her heart, she couldn't form a coherent sentence, she already knew why Walking Proud had come to see her father. He had visited his cousin in their village four times already this summer and every time been ogling her, and by offering her help with her daily chores he had tried to court her. She had declined and stayed out of his sight whenever she could. Running Wild was the man in her heart.
"Walking Proud has asked for my blessing and I've given it to him. He is a wealthy man and will take good care of you. He has offered me ten horses for this marriage. He's a good hunter and a proud man, you have done well, daughter."
Silent tears dropped from her eyes and landed on her cheeks, her lips began to tremble in sadness and anger, and biting her bottom lip she met her father's eyes for the first time. "Don't do this to me, father. I love some one else." She choked.
"Do this to you? You should be proud, ten horses! It's unheard of, four horses was the best I had hoped for. Your beauty has done you well. I'm proud of you and your mother is proud of you."
"I don't like Walking Proud, he's cold and too damn full of himself. I love some one else, father!" This timer her voice was firm.
"Love? Who do you think you love, Singing Bluebird?" Narrowing his eyes, he studied her closely, his daughter was a beauty with a matching temper but rarely did she disobey her parents, it must be a foolish crush.
"I love Running Wild and I want to marry him!"
"Don't be silly, Running Wild is only sixteen and he's not as good a hunter as Walking Proud. Running Wild is always hunting wild ideas instead of preys, he is not ready to support you and give you what you deserve."
"I don't want the status Walking Proud can give me, I just want a husband I love and who loves me in return. Running Wild is a good man."
Her father was getting angry now, "Running Wild can offer what? Two horses for your hand? It will be a disgrace for your family to accept that. He won't be able to support you and your children with all his crazy ideas he needs to grow up before taking a wife. And that wife won't be you, daughter."
A new flood of tears steamed down her face, "don't you care about my happiness?"
"I do and that's why I've given you away to Walking Proud."
"You can't force me." She cried, knowing perfectly well he could.
"I can and I'll. Before the end of this week you'll accept Walking Proud's offer and move to his tepee."
"But he lives half a day's walk from here." She was devastated, the week ended in three days.
"It will be good for you and Walking Proud has promised you can visit your mom every week. To be certain you will follow my orders, I'll arrange that your cousin Coyote will share Running Wild's blanket in his father's tepee. Do you understand me?"
With a breaking heart, she tried a last time. "But you said he was too young to marry?"
"Coyote is twenty and still unmarried, she is a hard worker and just what Running Wild needs. It will be a good match."
Walking Proud was Daniel and Coyote was Melissa!