p style="font-family: 'Lucida Grande', 'Lucida Sans Unicode', 'GNU Unifont', Verdana, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: 14px;"Rain pattered down the window pane behind my back. With phone in hand I scrolled through the text logs between me and Joshua. Occasionally he would shoot me a text asking a dumb question or something else that I couldn't bring myself to respond to. I skimmed over old conversations, reading a few select messages with care. Messages like; "I hope you're doing okay" "I'm sorry" "Are you flirting with me? ;)" so on and so forth. But one in particular really stuck with me. Well, it was more of a conversation. We were joking about who would be a good couple with the others in our group chat. It was all just teasing and jokes, nothing serious./p
p style="font-family: 'Lucida Grande', 'Lucida Sans Unicode', 'GNU Unifont', Verdana, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: 14px;" /p
p style="font-family: 'Lucida Grande', 'Lucida Sans Unicode', 'GNU Unifont', Verdana, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: 14px;" align="right"I proclaim my love for thee, dearest Beat ( ˘ ³˘)❤: Shiki/p
p style="font-family: 'Lucida Grande', 'Lucida Sans Unicode', 'GNU Unifont', Verdana, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: 14px;" align="right"I've always wanted a sister in law: Shiki/p
p style="font-family: 'Lucida Grande', 'Lucida Sans Unicode', 'GNU Unifont', Verdana, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: 14px;" align="right"They will be wed on top of the 104 building and skateboard down the aisle: Josh/p
p style="font-family: 'Lucida Grande', 'Lucida Sans Unicode', 'GNU Unifont', Verdana, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: 14px;" align="right"not gonna lie, that sounds kinda cool: Beat/p
p style="font-family: 'Lucida Grande', 'Lucida Sans Unicode', 'GNU Unifont', Verdana, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: 14px;"Me: get a room you two ;P/p
p style="font-family: 'Lucida Grande', 'Lucida Sans Unicode', 'GNU Unifont', Verdana, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: 14px;" align="right"The skateboarding part! You know shiki really ain't my type: Beat/p
p style="font-family: 'Lucida Grande', 'Lucida Sans Unicode', 'GNU Unifont', Verdana, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: 14px;" align="right"No offence shiki: Beat/p
p style="font-family: 'Lucida Grande', 'Lucida Sans Unicode', 'GNU Unifont', Verdana, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: 14px;" align="right"None taken (=´∀`)font face="Nimbus Mono L, monospace"span lang="zh-CN"人/span/font(´∀'=) I like you more as a friend anyway: Shiki/p
p style="font-family: 'Lucida Grande', 'Lucida Sans Unicode', 'GNU Unifont', Verdana, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: 14px;" align="right"Excuses excuses: Josh/p
p style="font-family: 'Lucida Grande', 'Lucida Sans Unicode', 'GNU Unifont', Verdana, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: 14px;"Me: beat's going to marry his skateboard/p
p style="font-family: 'Lucida Grande', 'Lucida Sans Unicode', 'GNU Unifont', Verdana, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: 14px;" align="right"A love story still better than twilight: Josh/p
p style="font-family: 'Lucida Grande', 'Lucida Sans Unicode', 'GNU Unifont', Verdana, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: 14px;" align="right"oh yeah phones? so when are you and josh finally gonna hookup? :Beat/p
p style="font-family: 'Lucida Grande', 'Lucida Sans Unicode', 'GNU Unifont', Verdana, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: 14px;" align="right"Yeah, it's been ages: Shiki/p
p style="font-family: 'Lucida Grande', 'Lucida Sans Unicode', 'GNU Unifont', Verdana, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: 14px;" align="right"What's taking you nerds so long?: Shiki/p
p style="font-family: 'Lucida Grande', 'Lucida Sans Unicode', 'GNU Unifont', Verdana, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: 14px;" align="right"We're hooking up right now: Josh/p
p style="font-family: 'Lucida Grande', 'Lucida Sans Unicode', 'GNU Unifont', Verdana, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: 14px;"Me: OHMYGOD/p
p style="font-family: 'Lucida Grande', 'Lucida Sans Unicode', 'GNU Unifont', Verdana, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: 14px;"Me: NO/p
p style="font-family: 'Lucida Grande', 'Lucida Sans Unicode', 'GNU Unifont', Verdana, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: 14px;" align="right"Dearest Neku, will you do me the honor of becoming my one and only font face="Nimbus Mono L, monospace"span lang="zh-CN"～/span/font(^з^)- : Josh/p
p style="font-family: 'Lucida Grande', 'Lucida Sans Unicode', 'GNU Unifont', Verdana, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: 14px;" align="right"I shall smother you in kisses, hugs, and compliments all day every day: Josh/p
p style="font-family: 'Lucida Grande', 'Lucida Sans Unicode', 'GNU Unifont', Verdana, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: 14px;" align="right"Get a room you two!: Shiki/p
p style="font-family: 'Lucida Grande', 'Lucida Sans Unicode', 'GNU Unifont', Verdana, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: 14px;" align="right"I'm just playin around, I know phones don't swing that way: Beat/p
p style="font-family: 'Lucida Grande', 'Lucida Sans Unicode', 'GNU Unifont', Verdana, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: 14px;" align="right"Or at least I dont think he does: Beat/p
p style="font-family: 'Lucida Grande', 'Lucida Sans Unicode', 'GNU Unifont', Verdana, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: 14px;" align="left"Me: I'm gonna kill you beat/p
p style="font-family: 'Lucida Grande', 'Lucida Sans Unicode', 'GNU Unifont', Verdana, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: 14px;" align="right"I'm just joking! I know you like chicks: Beat/p
p style="font-family: 'Lucida Grande', 'Lucida Sans Unicode', 'GNU Unifont', Verdana, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: 14px;" align="right" /p
p style="font-family: 'Lucida Grande', 'Lucida Sans Unicode', 'GNU Unifont', Verdana, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: 14px;"I closed my phone and laid back on my bed. Instead opting to stare at the grey ceiling, listening to raindrops hit the rooftops and pavement outside. Admidily, Beat was right. I did like girls. I know I found girls attractive and could see myself dating them. That's a fact I've known since I was five and I've never questioned it. But...something happened. More specifically, Joshua happened. There was something about him that was alluring. Sure, on the surface he's a prick and an asshole. But there have been moments where he was genuinely sweet. Like when he remembered my birthday and even got me a stuffed fox as a gift. I honestly didn't expect him to get me anything, or even remember. He's kinda funny too. Makes me laugh till the point my chest ached and I started tearing up. I'd be gasping for breaths and he'd still keep going. I never knew he was that comedic. Come to think of it, he's really unpredictable in general. Sweet one second, prick the next. Not full on annoying, just...prick-ish? A little mix of condescending, a bit of teasing, and a bit sadistic to be honest. But, he was fun to be around regardless if he was being a dick at the moment. Reaching up the bed, I grab the fox plush and pressed it close to my chest./p
p style="font-family: 'Lucida Grande', 'Lucida Sans Unicode', 'GNU Unifont', Verdana, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: 14px;"Feeling at the soft orange fur, I thought more about him. Sometimes during our shopping trips, he would try on a thing or two and ask me how it looked on him. Being frank, nearly everything looked good on him. I'm not sure how or why, but Josh just had the body type that made everything work on him. I'm a bit jealous actually. Now that I think about it, I've never seen him looking even slightly disheveled. Always properly groomed, nails cut, hair clean, skin clear, lips never chapped. He looked perfect. Come to think of it, I wonder what he used for his skin since it's really soft. I mean I'm not actively feeling up on him or anything like that. It's just the few times I've physically touched him, whether it be an accidental bump or helping his zip up a dress, I noticed that his skin is incredibly soft. Like a baby's. And I've always wondered what he used for his lips. They always look so gentle, like a pair of pink pillows. I've never seen his lips chapped or anything like that. Their kind of hypnotic, I'll find myself staring at them for a few seconds before snapping back to my senses. Being frank, I kinda want to just caress that skin like the tips of my knuckles did when I helped him into a dress just the other week. To feel his flesh under my fingers, to run the pads of my senses up his smooth as silk back. Same with his lips, I just wanted to run the tip of my thumb across them. Feeling their soft yet velvety texture under my finger. Maybe...Maybe even both at the same time. Caressing his cheek while my thumb is stroking his lips slowly…/p
p style="font-family: 'Lucida Grande', 'Lucida Sans Unicode', 'GNU Unifont', Verdana, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: 14px;"Him looking at me with those deep lavender eyes…/p
p style="font-family: 'Lucida Grande', 'Lucida Sans Unicode', 'GNU Unifont', Verdana, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: 14px;"His hot breath fanning against my thumb…/p
p style="font-family: 'Lucida Grande', 'Lucida Sans Unicode', 'GNU Unifont', Verdana, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: 14px;"I'll notice he's getting closer to my face…/p
p style="font-family: 'Lucida Grande', 'Lucida Sans Unicode', 'GNU Unifont', Verdana, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: 14px;"emBut I don't stop him…/em/p
p style="font-family: 'Lucida Grande', 'Lucida Sans Unicode', 'GNU Unifont', Verdana, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: 14px;"emJosh pulls me closer and he starts to-/em/p
p style="font-family: 'Lucida Grande', 'Lucida Sans Unicode', 'GNU Unifont', Verdana, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: 14px;"Wait/p
p style="font-family: 'Lucida Grande', 'Lucida Sans Unicode', 'GNU Unifont', Verdana, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: 14px;"emWhat the hell am I thinking!?/em/p
p style="font-family: 'Lucida Grande', 'Lucida Sans Unicode', 'GNU Unifont', Verdana, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: 14px;"I'm a guy/p
p style="font-family: 'Lucida Grande', 'Lucida Sans Unicode', 'GNU Unifont', Verdana, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: 14px;"emHe's a guy/em/p
p style="font-family: 'Lucida Grande', 'Lucida Sans Unicode', 'GNU Unifont', Verdana, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: 14px;"That's not...No!/p
p style="font-family: 'Lucida Grande', 'Lucida Sans Unicode', 'GNU Unifont', Verdana, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: 14px;"I was just admiring his skincare routine!/p
p style="font-family: 'Lucida Grande', 'Lucida Sans Unicode', 'GNU Unifont', Verdana, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: 14px;"emI don't actually want to do any of that stuff with him!/em/p
p style="font-family: 'Lucida Grande', 'Lucida Sans Unicode', 'GNU Unifont', Verdana, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: 14px;"emThat's weird!/em/p
p style="font-family: 'Lucida Grande', 'Lucida Sans Unicode', 'GNU Unifont', Verdana, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: 14px;"A pit formed in my stomach as I thought that. Dread swept over me as I stared back up at my ceiling. My body wanted to deteriorate right there on the bed. All I felt was shame and embarrassment. I hated it. I hated thinking about him so much. I hated how he made me feel. I hated myself. It shook me to the core, thinking that there may be some kind of possibility that I might...No. No, I don't feel that way. I only think of him as a friend, that's it. Joshua is my friend, nothing else. Joshua will emalways /embe just a friend/p
p style="font-family: 'Lucida Grande', 'Lucida Sans Unicode', 'GNU Unifont', Verdana, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: 14px;" /p
p style="font-family: 'Lucida Grande', 'Lucida Sans Unicode', 'GNU Unifont', Verdana, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: 14px;"The sound of the front door opening echoed through the house. em'That's weird' /emI thought ' emMom and dad shouldn't be home till later today…oh god, someone just broke in, oh my god'/em/p
p style="font-family: 'Lucida Grande', 'Lucida Sans Unicode', 'GNU Unifont', Verdana, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: 14px;"I pushed my thought of Joshua aside before springing off my bed. Scanning the room frantically, trying to find something to use as a makeshift weapon. Unfortunately, I wasn't finding a whole lot of options...dammit… But out of the corner of my vision, I noticed a pair of metal scissors laying on my desk. Perfect. Just as I was going to grab them, I froze as I heard a familiar voice call out./p
p style="font-family: 'Lucida Grande', 'Lucida Sans Unicode', 'GNU Unifont', Verdana, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: 14px;""Nekuuuu! Are you hooooome!?"/p
p style="font-family: 'Lucida Grande', 'Lucida Sans Unicode', 'GNU Unifont', Verdana, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: 14px;"emGoddammit, of course it's him. Of course he comes to my house! /em /p
p style="font-family: 'Lucida Grande', 'Lucida Sans Unicode', 'GNU Unifont', Verdana, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: 14px;"I took a deep breath before reluctantly opening my bedroom door. As the door swung open, he was revealed. Drenched in rain, practically dripping even. He was hugging himself, looking around for me I assume./p
p style="font-family: 'Lucida Grande', 'Lucida Sans Unicode', 'GNU Unifont', Verdana, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: 14px;""Joshua? What the hell?" I asked lethargically./p
p style="font-family: 'Lucida Grande', 'Lucida Sans Unicode', 'GNU Unifont', Verdana, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: 14px;""Oh, Neku." He smiled at me. "Sorry, There was an accident at the train station and they say it's going to be a few hours till it's cleared."/p
p style="font-family: 'Lucida Grande', 'Lucida Sans Unicode', 'GNU Unifont', Verdana, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: 14px;""Accident? Is everything alright?"br /"Yeah, I don't think anyone was hurt. Just messy I guess." Josh shrugged his shoulders a bit dismissively./p
p style="font-family: 'Lucida Grande', 'Lucida Sans Unicode', 'GNU Unifont', Verdana, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: 14px;"I gave a simple affirming "hm." as I couldn't help but noticing the salvaged raindrops cascaded down his form. The droplets graced down his pale arms and sensually fell down his neck and chin. His clothes were wet as well, well, mainly his shirt. He already wore his shirt pretty loosely, so seeing a bit of his collarbone was nothing out of the ordinary. But, dress shirts do not mix with rain, or water in general. I could see his thin shoulders and upper part of his chest right through the soaking wet grey fabric./p
p style="font-family: 'Lucida Grande', 'Lucida Sans Unicode', 'GNU Unifont', Verdana, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: 14px;""If you could take a break from undressing me with your eyes and tell me where your towels are so I don't die of hypothermia, that'd be great."/p
p style="font-family: 'Lucida Grande', 'Lucida Sans Unicode', 'GNU Unifont', Verdana, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: 14px;"A rush of blood came to my face as I was taken aback by Joshua's words. emDamnitt, he caught me! /emIt was at this point I realized that he was starting to shiver lightly as he looked at me with those snarky eyes that were accompanied with a smirk of the same nature./p
p style="font-family: 'Lucida Grande', 'Lucida Sans Unicode', 'GNU Unifont', Verdana, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: 14px;""O-Oh yeah...Sorry. Towels are down the hall in the closet." I stammered./p
p style="font-family: 'Lucida Grande', 'Lucida Sans Unicode', 'GNU Unifont', Verdana, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: 14px;""Thanks, also can you take my phone?" Joshua put his phone into my chest. "I don't want it to get wetter than it already is. And If it rings, can you call me? I'm expecting a call soon." Joshua rattled off./p
p style="font-family: 'Lucida Grande', 'Lucida Sans Unicode', 'GNU Unifont', Verdana, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: 14px;""Oh sure, is there anything else you'd like, your majesty?"/p
p style="font-family: 'Lucida Grande', 'Lucida Sans Unicode', 'GNU Unifont', Verdana, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: 14px;""Appreciate it if you didn't go through my text messages."/p
p style="font-family: 'Lucida Grande', 'Lucida Sans Unicode', 'GNU Unifont', Verdana, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: 14px;""Wasn't planning on it but alright."/p
p style="font-family: 'Lucida Grande', 'Lucida Sans Unicode', 'GNU Unifont', Verdana, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: 14px;""Good." Joshua smirked before walking down the hall. emPrick/em/p
p style="font-family: 'Lucida Grande', 'Lucida Sans Unicode', 'GNU Unifont', Verdana, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: 14px;"I put his phone in my pocket before walking over to the couch. I flopped down on the couch letting out a heavy sigh. With heavy eyelids, I began to overthink some more as I stared back into the ceiling./p
p style="font-family: 'Lucida Grande', 'Lucida Sans Unicode', 'GNU Unifont', Verdana, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: 14px;"emHis train gets delayed so he plans to spend the next few hours at my house? Hell, I didn't even know Josh took the train. I know he probably wanted to get out of the rain, but my place isn't exactly close to the station. Couldn't he have called his parents or Mr.H to drive him home? Why was he even IN Shibuya today? As far as I know, there aren't really any events or sales going on today. Maybe he's just here to hang out with Shiki or Beat? I don't know… Maybe I'm just reading to much into this? I can't deny the fact that it is strange that Josh decided to show up at my place, especially considering I've been kinda avoiding him for the last few weeks...I mean...I can't tell him why. I can never tell anyone why I've been avoiding him. Everyone probably assumes I'm pissed at him or we had a falling out. But that's not why. Sure he's a dick every now and again, but the real reason isn't his fault. It's mine. My head is the reason we aren't talking as much. It's awkward being around him nowadays. But not being around him; it's only making these kind of thoughts worse. Thinking about Joshua, you know, like that. I hate it, it feels so wrong. But at the same time, I can't stop. I kinda don't want to stop...I hate to admit it but a weird part of me LIKES having these thoughts about him. I like daydreaming about him and I, you know, like /emstrongemthat/em /strongem. Yeah, It makes me feel weird, but it's a good kind of weird. Like butterflies thrashing around in the pit of your stomach. It feels weird and you hate it, but goddamn does it put a smile on your face. But I know that thinking about Joshua like that is wrong. Not just because he's a guy, but because he's my friend. Having these thoughts about him is distorting my idea of him. I can't say it enough, I hate it. I hate my head for making me think all these weird things about my friend. I hate that it's making things weird and awkward for us. The thing I hate the most is that it's making me think that I really might actually-/em/p
p style="font-family: 'Lucida Grande', 'Lucida Sans Unicode', 'GNU Unifont', Verdana, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: 14px;" /p
p style="font-family: 'Lucida Grande', 'Lucida Sans Unicode', 'GNU Unifont', Verdana, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: 14px;"A burst of vibration to my leg brought me back to the here and now. Thinking it was just a text or email for me, I pulled the phone out and flipped it open. Messages between me and Shiki were visible when the screen became visible. Wait, scanning over the portion of messages what was displayed on the small screen, I don't really remember typing these messages. Hell, I don't remember having this conversation with her. Scrolling up, I soon found a portion of messages that made my blood run cold./p
p style="font-family: 'Lucida Grande', 'Lucida Sans Unicode', 'GNU Unifont', Verdana, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: 14px;" /p
p style="font-family: 'Lucida Grande', 'Lucida Sans Unicode', 'GNU Unifont', Verdana, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: 14px;"Me: Hey, can I ask you a weird question?/p
p style="font-family: 'Lucida Grande', 'Lucida Sans Unicode', 'GNU Unifont', Verdana, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: 14px;" align="right"Yeah, what's up?: Shiki (ΦωΦ)/p
p style="font-family: 'Lucida Grande', 'Lucida Sans Unicode', 'GNU Unifont', Verdana, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: 14px;"Me: Do you know why Neku's been avoiding me lately?/p
p style="font-family: 'Lucida Grande', 'Lucida Sans Unicode', 'GNU Unifont', Verdana, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: 14px;"Me: Is he mad at me about something?/p
p style="font-family: 'Lucida Grande', 'Lucida Sans Unicode', 'GNU Unifont', Verdana, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: 14px;" align="right"I don't think so?: Shiki (ΦωΦ)/p
p style="font-family: 'Lucida Grande', 'Lucida Sans Unicode', 'GNU Unifont', Verdana, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: 14px;" align="right"He hasn't said anything to me about it at least: Shiki (ΦωΦ)/p
p style="font-family: 'Lucida Grande', 'Lucida Sans Unicode', 'GNU Unifont', Verdana, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: 14px;" align="right"What's going on? (if you don't mind me asking): Shiki (ΦωΦ)/p
p style="font-family: 'Lucida Grande', 'Lucida Sans Unicode', 'GNU Unifont', Verdana, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: 14px;"Me: I honestly don't know/p
p style="font-family: 'Lucida Grande', 'Lucida Sans Unicode', 'GNU Unifont', Verdana, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: 14px;"Me: He isn't talking to me or responding to my messages/p
p style="font-family: 'Lucida Grande', 'Lucida Sans Unicode', 'GNU Unifont', Verdana, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: 14px;" align="right"Did you guys have a falling out?: Shiki (ΦωΦ)/p
p style="font-family: 'Lucida Grande', 'Lucida Sans Unicode', 'GNU Unifont', Verdana, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: 14px;"Me: No! He just stopped talking to me/p
p style="font-family: 'Lucida Grande', 'Lucida Sans Unicode', 'GNU Unifont', Verdana, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: 14px;"Me: Should I be worried?/p
p style="font-family: 'Lucida Grande', 'Lucida Sans Unicode', 'GNU Unifont', Verdana, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: 14px;" align="right"Probably not: Shiki (ΦωΦ)/p
p style="font-family: 'Lucida Grande', 'Lucida Sans Unicode', 'GNU Unifont', Verdana, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: 14px;" align="right"He gets in these moods sometimes and he just needs his space: Shiki (ΦωΦ)/p
p style="font-family: 'Lucida Grande', 'Lucida Sans Unicode', 'GNU Unifont', Verdana, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: 14px;"Me: Does he do that for long periods of time?/p
p style="font-family: 'Lucida Grande', 'Lucida Sans Unicode', 'GNU Unifont', Verdana, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: 14px;"Me: He's been avoiding for weeks/p
p style="font-family: 'Lucida Grande', 'Lucida Sans Unicode', 'GNU Unifont', Verdana, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: 14px;" align="right"Weeks!?: Shiki (ΦωΦ)/p
p style="font-family: 'Lucida Grande', 'Lucida Sans Unicode', 'GNU Unifont', Verdana, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: 14px;" align="right"Okay, we might need an intervention: Shiki (ΦωΦ)/p
p style="font-family: 'Lucida Grande', 'Lucida Sans Unicode', 'GNU Unifont', Verdana, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: 14px;"Me: Intervention!?/p
p style="font-family: 'Lucida Grande', 'Lucida Sans Unicode', 'GNU Unifont', Verdana, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: 14px;"Me: Is it that serious?/p
p style="font-family: 'Lucida Grande', 'Lucida Sans Unicode', 'GNU Unifont', Verdana, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: 14px;" align="right"It's not like him to dodge texts from his friends for that long: Shiki (ΦωΦ)/p
p style="font-family: 'Lucida Grande', 'Lucida Sans Unicode', 'GNU Unifont', Verdana, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: 14px;" align="right"Somethings up: Shiki (ΦωΦ)/p
p style="font-family: 'Lucida Grande', 'Lucida Sans Unicode', 'GNU Unifont', Verdana, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: 14px;" align="right"I can feel it: Shiki (ΦωΦ)/p
p style="font-family: 'Lucida Grande', 'Lucida Sans Unicode', 'GNU Unifont', Verdana, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: 14px;"Me: So what do you think we should do?/p
p style="font-family: 'Lucida Grande', 'Lucida Sans Unicode', 'GNU Unifont', Verdana, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: 14px;" align="right"Alright, this is gonna sound crazy. But it might work: Shiki (ΦωΦ)/p
p style="font-family: 'Lucida Grande', 'Lucida Sans Unicode', 'GNU Unifont', Verdana, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: 14px;" align="right"Try going over to his place and talking it out: Shiki (ΦωΦ)/p
p style="font-family: 'Lucida Grande', 'Lucida Sans Unicode', 'GNU Unifont', Verdana, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: 14px;"Me: What!?/p
p style="font-family: 'Lucida Grande', 'Lucida Sans Unicode', 'GNU Unifont', Verdana, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: 14px;"Me: Are you high!?/p
p style="font-family: 'Lucida Grande', 'Lucida Sans Unicode', 'GNU Unifont', Verdana, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: 14px;"Me: I can't just confront him like that!/p
p style="font-family: 'Lucida Grande', 'Lucida Sans Unicode', 'GNU Unifont', Verdana, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: 14px;" align="right"Not like an interrogation!: Shiki (ΦωΦ)/p
p style="font-family: 'Lucida Grande', 'Lucida Sans Unicode', 'GNU Unifont', Verdana, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: 14px;" align="right"It'll just be like clearing the air, nothing too serious: Shiki (ΦωΦ)/p
p style="font-family: 'Lucida Grande', 'Lucida Sans Unicode', 'GNU Unifont', Verdana, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: 14px;"Me: Is going to his apartment really the best course of action?/p
p style="font-family: 'Lucida Grande', 'Lucida Sans Unicode', 'GNU Unifont', Verdana, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: 14px;" align="right"That's the place he's most likely to be: Shiki (ΦωΦ)/p
p style="font-family: 'Lucida Grande', 'Lucida Sans Unicode', 'GNU Unifont', Verdana, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: 14px;" align="right"Wait: Shiki (ΦωΦ)/p
p style="font-family: 'Lucida Grande', 'Lucida Sans Unicode', 'GNU Unifont', Verdana, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: 14px;" align="right"Maybe don't come off too strong to start: Shiki (ΦωΦ)/p
p style="font-family: 'Lucida Grande', 'Lucida Sans Unicode', 'GNU Unifont', Verdana, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: 14px;" align="right"Say you were in the neighborhood and just wanted to visit: Shiki (ΦωΦ)/p
p style="font-family: 'Lucida Grande', 'Lucida Sans Unicode', 'GNU Unifont', Verdana, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: 14px;"Me: And then what!?/p
p style="font-family: 'Lucida Grande', 'Lucida Sans Unicode', 'GNU Unifont', Verdana, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: 14px;"Uhhhh: Shiki (ΦωΦ)/p
p style="font-family: 'Lucida Grande', 'Lucida Sans Unicode', 'GNU Unifont', Verdana, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: 14px;" align="right"Here, I'll call you in a bit, after you're in: Shiki (ΦωΦ)/p
p style="font-family: 'Lucida Grande', 'Lucida Sans Unicode', 'GNU Unifont', Verdana, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: 14px;" align="right"We'll talk from there: Shiki (ΦωΦ)/p
p style="font-family: 'Lucida Grande', 'Lucida Sans Unicode', 'GNU Unifont', Verdana, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: 14px;"Me: Alright I'm almost there/p
p style="font-family: 'Lucida Grande', 'Lucida Sans Unicode', 'GNU Unifont', Verdana, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: 14px;"Me: I'm outside his place/p
p style="font-family: 'Lucida Grande', 'Lucida Sans Unicode', 'GNU Unifont', Verdana, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: 14px;" align="right"Alright, I'll call you in a bit: Shiki (ΦωΦ)/p
p style="font-family: 'Lucida Grande', 'Lucida Sans Unicode', 'GNU Unifont', Verdana, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: 14px;" /p
p style="font-family: 'Lucida Grande', 'Lucida Sans Unicode', 'GNU Unifont', Verdana, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: 14px;"The realization hit me like a ton of bricks. All I could do is stare at the pixels that revealed a plot to expose me. emThey're on to me. /em emOh my god, what do I tell him!? I can't tell him the truth! What will he think of me!? What will everyone think of me!? I have to make something up. Maybe I've been sick with the flu? Or I just haven't been getting his messages? Or maybe-/em/p
p style="font-family: 'Lucida Grande', 'Lucida Sans Unicode', 'GNU Unifont', Verdana, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: 14px;""Nekuuuu!" a sing-song voice called out./p
p style="font-family: 'Lucida Grande', 'Lucida Sans Unicode', 'GNU Unifont', Verdana, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: 14px;"I quickly shut his phone and hastily shoved it back into my pocket./p
p style="font-family: 'Lucida Grande', 'Lucida Sans Unicode', 'GNU Unifont', Verdana, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: 14px;""Yeah Josh?" I called back./p
p style="font-family: 'Lucida Grande', 'Lucida Sans Unicode', 'GNU Unifont', Verdana, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: 14px;""Is it okay if I use one of your shirts while mine dries?"/p
p style="font-family: 'Lucida Grande', 'Lucida Sans Unicode', 'GNU Unifont', Verdana, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: 14px;""Yeah, first drawer in my room."/p
p style="font-family: 'Lucida Grande', 'Lucida Sans Unicode', 'GNU Unifont', Verdana, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: 14px;""Alright, thanks!"/p
p style="font-family: 'Lucida Grande', 'Lucida Sans Unicode', 'GNU Unifont', Verdana, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: 14px;"I heard feet shuffling down the hallway. A few seconds later Joshua popped out from the corner, somewhat dry now. Oh yeah, and shirtless too./p
p style="font-family: 'Lucida Grande', 'Lucida Sans Unicode', 'GNU Unifont', Verdana, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: 14px;""Do you mind if I have my phone back?"/p
p style="font-family: 'Lucida Grande', 'Lucida Sans Unicode', 'GNU Unifont', Verdana, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: 14px;""Oh yeah, here." getting up from the couch and walking over to him, I pulled the phone out of my pocket and handed it to him, trying my best not to look at his bare chest./p
p style="font-family: 'Lucida Grande', 'Lucida Sans Unicode', 'GNU Unifont', Verdana, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: 14px;""Thanks" he replied, taking the phone "hope you had fun going through my messages."/p
p style="font-family: 'Lucida Grande', 'Lucida Sans Unicode', 'GNU Unifont', Verdana, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: 14px;"I stifled back a croke to reply with "Oh yeah, you wish." I scoffed biting my tongue and internally screaming at Josh's unnervingly accurate teasing./p
p style="font-family: 'Lucida Grande', 'Lucida Sans Unicode', 'GNU Unifont', Verdana, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: 14px;"Unexpectedly, I felt a soft grip around my wrist./p
p style="font-family: 'Lucida Grande', 'Lucida Sans Unicode', 'GNU Unifont', Verdana, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: 14px;""Come on, let's go to your room." Joshua trugged me along the hallway./p
p style="font-family: 'Lucida Grande', 'Lucida Sans Unicode', 'GNU Unifont', Verdana, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: 14px;""W...Wait! Why?"/p
p style="font-family: 'Lucida Grande', 'Lucida Sans Unicode', 'GNU Unifont', Verdana, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: 14px;""Because I want to, plus I'll get to further criticizes what you call a fashion sense" Joshua teased as he pulled me to my bedroom door./p
p style="font-family: 'Lucida Grande', 'Lucida Sans Unicode', 'GNU Unifont', Verdana, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: 14px;"The door swung open and he practically flung me into my room before going to look through the top drawer of my dresser. Flopping down on my bed defeated, I watched Joshua file through the semi-folded shirts. I tried to avert my eyes from his exposed form. Well, try isn't exactly the right word. I did occasionally sneak glances at him. I'd let my eyes trail down his back, noticing how his spine showed it's outline near his neck. Or how there was a light dip lower down, near the beginning on his pants. I knew Josh always had more feminine looking hips but now that I'm really looking at them, just wow...kinda hot honestly…/p
p style="font-family: 'Lucida Grande', 'Lucida Sans Unicode', 'GNU Unifont', Verdana, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: 14px;"Joshua pulled a shirt out of the stack and pulled it over his head. He tugged it down, covering him up./p
p style="font-family: 'Lucida Grande', 'Lucida Sans Unicode', 'GNU Unifont', Verdana, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: 14px;""Thanks for letting me stay." Josh smiled as he sat next to me on the bed./p
p style="font-family: 'Lucida Grande', 'Lucida Sans Unicode', 'GNU Unifont', Verdana, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: 14px;""Oh, uh, yeah no problem." I awkwardly smiled back./p
p style="font-family: 'Lucida Grande', 'Lucida Sans Unicode', 'GNU Unifont', Verdana, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: 14px;"For a few moments, we said nothing. We just sat in silence, painful, awkward silence. The only sound was the rain picking up outside, pounding on the window behind us. emHe's going to crack the question, I know it. That's the whole reason he came after all! What the hell am I going tell him!? Obviously, I absolutely positively cannot tell him the truth. Absolutely not. So then, what am I going to tell him? I had the flu or that I just been busy? Maybe I should-/em/p
p style="font-family: 'Lucida Grande', 'Lucida Sans Unicode', 'GNU Unifont', Verdana, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: 14px;""Neku…?" Josh finally spoke in a hushed voice. /p
p style="font-family: 'Lucida Grande', 'Lucida Sans Unicode', 'GNU Unifont', Verdana, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: 14px;"emOh god, it's time./em/p
p style="font-family: 'Lucida Grande', 'Lucida Sans Unicode', 'GNU Unifont', Verdana, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: 14px;""Um, yeah?" I returned, clearing my throat. /p
p style="font-family: 'Lucida Grande', 'Lucida Sans Unicode', 'GNU Unifont', Verdana, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: 14px;""There's a real reason why I came here…"/p
p style="font-family: 'Lucida Grande', 'Lucida Sans Unicode', 'GNU Unifont', Verdana, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: 14px;""Oh yeah?" I stuttered out, trying to fake ignorance./p
p style="font-family: 'Lucida Grande', 'Lucida Sans Unicode', 'GNU Unifont', Verdana, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: 14px;""Listen" He stood up from the bed and took a few paced across the room "I'm not going to beat around the bush. We both know what's going on..."/p
p style="font-family: 'Lucida Grande', 'Lucida Sans Unicode', 'GNU Unifont', Verdana, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: 14px;"emWait. No. Oh my god. No, he can't. He can't know. How would he know-/em/p
p style="font-family: 'Lucida Grande', 'Lucida Sans Unicode', 'GNU Unifont', Verdana, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: 14px;"Joshua turned around to face me, crossing his arms./p
p style="font-family: 'Lucida Grande', 'Lucida Sans Unicode', 'GNU Unifont', Verdana, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: 14px;""Why have you been avoiding me lately?" Joshua questioned in a firm tone. "I'm not leaving without an answer."/p
p style="font-family: 'Lucida Grande', 'Lucida Sans Unicode', 'GNU Unifont', Verdana, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: 14px;""Oh, I uh...well...well you see...see the thing is-" My words came out of my mouth jumbled and fragmented before being cut off./p
p style="font-family: 'Lucida Grande', 'Lucida Sans Unicode', 'GNU Unifont', Verdana, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: 14px;""Are you mad at me?" His eyes softened as he looked at me "You can tell me if you are, I'm not a child."/p
p style="font-family: 'Lucida Grande', 'Lucida Sans Unicode', 'GNU Unifont', Verdana, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: 14px;""N...No! No, I'm not-"/p
p style="font-family: 'Lucida Grande', 'Lucida Sans Unicode', 'GNU Unifont', Verdana, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: 14px;""Then why are you avoiding me!?" Joshua snapped harshly. His lavender eyes were filled with confusion and frustration./p
p style="font-family: 'Lucida Grande', 'Lucida Sans Unicode', 'GNU Unifont', Verdana, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: 14px;"The rain picked up even more, like bullets hitting the glass pane. The air and pressure was growing thicker with every passing second. It was growing harder to breathe, It felt like I was being strangled as Joshua yelled at me./p
p style="font-family: 'Lucida Grande', 'Lucida Sans Unicode', 'GNU Unifont', Verdana, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: 14px;""Why!? Why have you been ignoring my texts!? Why have you been ignoring me!? Why won't you tell me-"/p
p style="font-family: 'Lucida Grande', 'Lucida Sans Unicode', 'GNU Unifont', Verdana, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: 14px;""strong emI'm avoiding you because I'm afraid I might be in love with you!/em /strong" The words were choked out of my throat and spilled onto the room. Tears spilled out of my eyes while shame and guilt dripped from my lips. Guts and humiliation plunged from my body. All at once, Everywhere./p
p style="font-family: 'Lucida Grande', 'Lucida Sans Unicode', 'GNU Unifont', Verdana, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: 14px;"Joshua was stunned silent. He didn't say a thing, what could he say? What is he thinking? Is he surprised? Disgusted? Mortified?/p
p style="font-family: 'Lucida Grande', 'Lucida Sans Unicode', 'GNU Unifont', Verdana, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: 14px;""You're…" Joshua finally croaked out "em You're in love with me? /em"/p
p style="font-family: 'Lucida Grande', 'Lucida Sans Unicode', 'GNU Unifont', Verdana, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: 14px;""I'm disgusting Joshua...I've been having weird thoughts...about you…" I confessed through the sobs, sniffles, and shame "I shouldn't be thinking about you like this...you're a boy...but more importantly you're my friend! I shouldn't be thinking about my friends like this-"/p
p style="font-family: 'Lucida Grande', 'Lucida Sans Unicode', 'GNU Unifont', Verdana, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: 14px;""Neku." Josh cut me off in a hushed, sweet sounding voice./p
p style="font-family: 'Lucida Grande', 'Lucida Sans Unicode', 'GNU Unifont', Verdana, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: 14px;"I looked up to see him knelt down to my level. His eyes were filled with...god, I don't even know what. His hand slid to caress my tear stained cheek, using his thumb to wipe away stray tears./p
p style="font-family: 'Lucida Grande', 'Lucida Sans Unicode', 'GNU Unifont', Verdana, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: 14px;""Look, I didn't know how to tell you this but...now seems like the best time..." His eyes darted to the ground and to the surrounding walls./p
p style="font-family: 'Lucida Grande', 'Lucida Sans Unicode', 'GNU Unifont', Verdana, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: 14px;""I've…" He stopped to clear his throat "I've felt the same way about you for a while now…"/p
p style="font-family: 'Lucida Grande', 'Lucida Sans Unicode', 'GNU Unifont', Verdana, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: 14px;""You...You have?" I sputtered in disbelief./p
p style="font-family: 'Lucida Grande', 'Lucida Sans Unicode', 'GNU Unifont', Verdana, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: 14px;"He nodded "I've also had...weird thoughts about you too…" he continued, now looking me directly in the eyes "I've wanted to tell you, but, I didn't know how you'd react…"/p
p style="font-family: 'Lucida Grande', 'Lucida Sans Unicode', 'GNU Unifont', Verdana, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: 14px;""Well, I guess that means we both love each other, huh?" I mumbled, still lightly crying./p
p style="font-family: 'Lucida Grande', 'Lucida Sans Unicode', 'GNU Unifont', Verdana, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: 14px;""Yeah, I...I guess so…" Josh replied with the same tone as he began to inch closer slowly. My hand rested on his cheek. His skin softer than I imagined...was the same true with his lips?/p
p style="font-family: 'Lucida Grande', 'Lucida Sans Unicode', 'GNU Unifont', Verdana, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: 14px;""Do you want me to stop?" He whispered close to my face as he tilted his to the side./p
p style="font-family: 'Lucida Grande', 'Lucida Sans Unicode', 'GNU Unifont', Verdana, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: 14px;""No." I breathlessly whispered against his lips. My eyes began to flutter shut with his. Our lips met soon after. I was right, his were soft. I literally felt high in that moment. His breath fanning against my skin. His hand cupping my cheek as the free one trailed up from the back of my neck and into my hair. The light inhales and gasps we take between kisses. I wanted to hold Joshua close, closer than ever before. All other thoughts were pushed out of my mind. I didn't care if this was wrong or weird. I didn't care what this meant for us going forward. I didn't care. All that mattered was Joshua and his sweet as candy lips. I guess Beat was right,em we should have done this sooner... /emEventually, we had to pull away for air. In between breaths, we stared into each other's eyes./p
p style="font-family: 'Lucida Grande', 'Lucida Sans Unicode', 'GNU Unifont', Verdana, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: 14px;""Do you...um…" it was awkward trying to find the words "Do you wanna, like, cuddle?"/p
p style="font-family: 'Lucida Grande', 'Lucida Sans Unicode', 'GNU Unifont', Verdana, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: 14px;""Certainly." He replied with a smile./p
p style="font-family: 'Lucida Grande', 'Lucida Sans Unicode', 'GNU Unifont', Verdana, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: 14px;"He then got up from his knelt position before crawling behind me and laying down on the bed./p
p style="font-family: 'Lucida Grande', 'Lucida Sans Unicode', 'GNU Unifont', Verdana, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: 14px;""Aw, you kept the fox I gave you." Josh cooed, looking over at it./p
p style="font-family: 'Lucida Grande', 'Lucida Sans Unicode', 'GNU Unifont', Verdana, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: 14px;""Course I did." I crawled on the bed and nuzzled myself between his arm and chest. My head rested under his chin while my arm was stretched across his chest. I could feel his chest rising and falling with each breath he took./p
p style="font-family: 'Lucida Grande', 'Lucida Sans Unicode', 'GNU Unifont', Verdana, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: 14px;""I'm gonna be honest Neku, I never thought you'd be the one to confess first."/p
p style="font-family: 'Lucida Grande', 'Lucida Sans Unicode', 'GNU Unifont', Verdana, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: 14px;""When were you planning on confessing then?"/p
p style="font-family: 'Lucida Grande', 'Lucida Sans Unicode', 'GNU Unifont', Verdana, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: 14px;""I..um...I was working on it."/p
p style="font-family: 'Lucida Grande', 'Lucida Sans Unicode', 'GNU Unifont', Verdana, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: 14px;""Oh sure…"/p
p style="font-family: 'Lucida Grande', 'Lucida Sans Unicode', 'GNU Unifont', Verdana, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: 14px;""Shut up."/p
p style="font-family: 'Lucida Grande', 'Lucida Sans Unicode', 'GNU Unifont', Verdana, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: 14px;""That's my line." I lightly laughed as I felt his arm tighten around me./p
p style="font-family: 'Lucida Grande', 'Lucida Sans Unicode', 'GNU Unifont', Verdana, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: 14px;"We stayed silent for a long time. After all, there was nothing to say at the moment. Or rather that we wanted to say. But that didn't matter at the moment, or we just didn't care. The rain continued to pelt against the window, but I didn't care./p
p style="font-family: 'Lucida Grande', 'Lucida Sans Unicode', 'GNU Unifont', Verdana, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: 14px;""Hey, Neku?" Joshua asked, sounding a bit hesitant/p
p style="font-family: 'Lucida Grande', 'Lucida Sans Unicode', 'GNU Unifont', Verdana, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: 14px;""Hm?"/p
p style="font-family: 'Lucida Grande', 'Lucida Sans Unicode', 'GNU Unifont', Verdana, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: 14px;""I love you…" He forced out. I smiled up at him./p
p style="font-family: 'Lucida Grande', 'Lucida Sans Unicode', 'GNU Unifont', Verdana, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: 14px;""I love you too, asshole."/p
p style="font-family: 'Lucida Grande', 'Lucida Sans Unicode', 'GNU Unifont', Verdana, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: 14px;" /p
p style="font-family: 'Lucida Grande', 'Lucida Sans Unicode', 'GNU Unifont', Verdana, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: 14px;" align="right"I proclaim my love for thee, dearest Beat ( ˘ ³˘)❤: Shiki/p
p style="font-family: 'Lucida Grande', 'Lucida Sans Unicode', 'GNU Unifont', Verdana, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: 14px;" align="right"I've always wanted a sister in law: Shiki/p
p style="font-family: 'Lucida Grande', 'Lucida Sans Unicode', 'GNU Unifont', Verdana, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: 14px;" align="right"They will be wed on top of the 104 building and skateboard down the aisle: Josh/p
p style="font-family: 'Lucida Grande', 'Lucida Sans Unicode', 'GNU Unifont', Verdana, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: 14px;" align="right"not gonna lie, that sounds kinda cool: Beat/p
p style="font-family: 'Lucida Grande', 'Lucida Sans Unicode', 'GNU Unifont', Verdana, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: 14px;"Me: get a room you two ;P/p
p style="font-family: 'Lucida Grande', 'Lucida Sans Unicode', 'GNU Unifont', Verdana, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: 14px;" align="right"The skateboarding part! You know shiki really ain't my type: Beat/p
p style="font-family: 'Lucida Grande', 'Lucida Sans Unicode', 'GNU Unifont', Verdana, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: 14px;" align="right"No offence shiki: Beat/p
p style="font-family: 'Lucida Grande', 'Lucida Sans Unicode', 'GNU Unifont', Verdana, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: 14px;" align="right"None taken (=´∀`)font face="Nimbus Mono L, monospace"span lang="zh-CN"人/span/font(´∀'=) I like you more as a friend anyway: Shiki/p
p style="font-family: 'Lucida Grande', 'Lucida Sans Unicode', 'GNU Unifont', Verdana, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: 14px;" align="right"Excuses excuses: Josh/p
p style="font-family: 'Lucida Grande', 'Lucida Sans Unicode', 'GNU Unifont', Verdana, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: 14px;"Me: beat's going to marry his skateboard/p
p style="font-family: 'Lucida Grande', 'Lucida Sans Unicode', 'GNU Unifont', Verdana, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: 14px;" align="right"A love story still better than twilight: Josh/p
p style="font-family: 'Lucida Grande', 'Lucida Sans Unicode', 'GNU Unifont', Verdana, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: 14px;" align="right"oh yeah phones? so when are you and josh finally gonna hookup? :Beat/p
p style="font-family: 'Lucida Grande', 'Lucida Sans Unicode', 'GNU Unifont', Verdana, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: 14px;" align="right"Yeah, it's been ages: Shiki/p
p style="font-family: 'Lucida Grande', 'Lucida Sans Unicode', 'GNU Unifont', Verdana, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: 14px;" align="right"What's taking you nerds so long?: Shiki/p
p style="font-family: 'Lucida Grande', 'Lucida Sans Unicode', 'GNU Unifont', Verdana, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: 14px;" align="right"We're hooking up right now: Josh/p
p style="font-family: 'Lucida Grande', 'Lucida Sans Unicode', 'GNU Unifont', Verdana, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: 14px;"Me: OHMYGOD/p
p style="font-family: 'Lucida Grande', 'Lucida Sans Unicode', 'GNU Unifont', Verdana, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: 14px;"Me: NO/p
p style="font-family: 'Lucida Grande', 'Lucida Sans Unicode', 'GNU Unifont', Verdana, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: 14px;" align="right"Dearest Neku, will you do me the honor of becoming my one and only font face="Nimbus Mono L, monospace"span lang="zh-CN"～/span/font(^з^)- : Josh/p
p style="font-family: 'Lucida Grande', 'Lucida Sans Unicode', 'GNU Unifont', Verdana, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: 14px;" align="right"I shall smother you in kisses, hugs, and compliments all day every day: Josh/p
p style="font-family: 'Lucida Grande', 'Lucida Sans Unicode', 'GNU Unifont', Verdana, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: 14px;" align="right"Get a room you two!: Shiki/p
p style="font-family: 'Lucida Grande', 'Lucida Sans Unicode', 'GNU Unifont', Verdana, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: 14px;" align="right"I'm just playin around, I know phones don't swing that way: Beat/p
p style="font-family: 'Lucida Grande', 'Lucida Sans Unicode', 'GNU Unifont', Verdana, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: 14px;" align="right"Or at least I dont think he does: Beat/p
p style="font-family: 'Lucida Grande', 'Lucida Sans Unicode', 'GNU Unifont', Verdana, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: 14px;" align="left"Me: I'm gonna kill you beat/p
p style="font-family: 'Lucida Grande', 'Lucida Sans Unicode', 'GNU Unifont', Verdana, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: 14px;" align="right"I'm just joking! I know you like chicks: Beat/p
p style="font-family: 'Lucida Grande', 'Lucida Sans Unicode', 'GNU Unifont', Verdana, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: 14px;" align="right" /p
p style="font-family: 'Lucida Grande', 'Lucida Sans Unicode', 'GNU Unifont', Verdana, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: 14px;"I closed my phone and laid back on my bed. Instead opting to stare at the grey ceiling, listening to raindrops hit the rooftops and pavement outside. Admidily, Beat was right. I did like girls. I know I found girls attractive and could see myself dating them. That's a fact I've known since I was five and I've never questioned it. But...something happened. More specifically, Joshua happened. There was something about him that was alluring. Sure, on the surface he's a prick and an asshole. But there have been moments where he was genuinely sweet. Like when he remembered my birthday and even got me a stuffed fox as a gift. I honestly didn't expect him to get me anything, or even remember. He's kinda funny too. Makes me laugh till the point my chest ached and I started tearing up. I'd be gasping for breaths and he'd still keep going. I never knew he was that comedic. Come to think of it, he's really unpredictable in general. Sweet one second, prick the next. Not full on annoying, just...prick-ish? A little mix of condescending, a bit of teasing, and a bit sadistic to be honest. But, he was fun to be around regardless if he was being a dick at the moment. Reaching up the bed, I grab the fox plush and pressed it close to my chest./p
p style="font-family: 'Lucida Grande', 'Lucida Sans Unicode', 'GNU Unifont', Verdana, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: 14px;"Feeling at the soft orange fur, I thought more about him. Sometimes during our shopping trips, he would try on a thing or two and ask me how it looked on him. Being frank, nearly everything looked good on him. I'm not sure how or why, but Josh just had the body type that made everything work on him. I'm a bit jealous actually. Now that I think about it, I've never seen him looking even slightly disheveled. Always properly groomed, nails cut, hair clean, skin clear, lips never chapped. He looked perfect. Come to think of it, I wonder what he used for his skin since it's really soft. I mean I'm not actively feeling up on him or anything like that. It's just the few times I've physically touched him, whether it be an accidental bump or helping his zip up a dress, I noticed that his skin is incredibly soft. Like a baby's. And I've always wondered what he used for his lips. They always look so gentle, like a pair of pink pillows. I've never seen his lips chapped or anything like that. Their kind of hypnotic, I'll find myself staring at them for a few seconds before snapping back to my senses. Being frank, I kinda want to just caress that skin like the tips of my knuckles did when I helped him into a dress just the other week. To feel his flesh under my fingers, to run the pads of my senses up his smooth as silk back. Same with his lips, I just wanted to run the tip of my thumb across them. Feeling their soft yet velvety texture under my finger. Maybe...Maybe even both at the same time. Caressing his cheek while my thumb is stroking his lips slowly…/p
p style="font-family: 'Lucida Grande', 'Lucida Sans Unicode', 'GNU Unifont', Verdana, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: 14px;"Him looking at me with those deep lavender eyes…/p
p style="font-family: 'Lucida Grande', 'Lucida Sans Unicode', 'GNU Unifont', Verdana, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: 14px;"His hot breath fanning against my thumb…/p
p style="font-family: 'Lucida Grande', 'Lucida Sans Unicode', 'GNU Unifont', Verdana, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: 14px;"I'll notice he's getting closer to my face…/p
p style="font-family: 'Lucida Grande', 'Lucida Sans Unicode', 'GNU Unifont', Verdana, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: 14px;"emBut I don't stop him…/em/p
p style="font-family: 'Lucida Grande', 'Lucida Sans Unicode', 'GNU Unifont', Verdana, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: 14px;"emJosh pulls me closer and he starts to-/em/p
p style="font-family: 'Lucida Grande', 'Lucida Sans Unicode', 'GNU Unifont', Verdana, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: 14px;"Wait/p
p style="font-family: 'Lucida Grande', 'Lucida Sans Unicode', 'GNU Unifont', Verdana, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: 14px;"emWhat the hell am I thinking!?/em/p
p style="font-family: 'Lucida Grande', 'Lucida Sans Unicode', 'GNU Unifont', Verdana, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: 14px;"I'm a guy/p
p style="font-family: 'Lucida Grande', 'Lucida Sans Unicode', 'GNU Unifont', Verdana, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: 14px;"emHe's a guy/em/p
p style="font-family: 'Lucida Grande', 'Lucida Sans Unicode', 'GNU Unifont', Verdana, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: 14px;"That's not...No!/p
p style="font-family: 'Lucida Grande', 'Lucida Sans Unicode', 'GNU Unifont', Verdana, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: 14px;"I was just admiring his skincare routine!/p
p style="font-family: 'Lucida Grande', 'Lucida Sans Unicode', 'GNU Unifont', Verdana, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: 14px;"emI don't actually want to do any of that stuff with him!/em/p
p style="font-family: 'Lucida Grande', 'Lucida Sans Unicode', 'GNU Unifont', Verdana, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: 14px;"emThat's weird!/em/p
p style="font-family: 'Lucida Grande', 'Lucida Sans Unicode', 'GNU Unifont', Verdana, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: 14px;"A pit formed in my stomach as I thought that. Dread swept over me as I stared back up at my ceiling. My body wanted to deteriorate right there on the bed. All I felt was shame and embarrassment. I hated it. I hated thinking about him so much. I hated how he made me feel. I hated myself. It shook me to the core, thinking that there may be some kind of possibility that I might...No. No, I don't feel that way. I only think of him as a friend, that's it. Joshua is my friend, nothing else. Joshua will emalways /embe just a friend/p
p style="font-family: 'Lucida Grande', 'Lucida Sans Unicode', 'GNU Unifont', Verdana, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: 14px;" /p
p style="font-family: 'Lucida Grande', 'Lucida Sans Unicode', 'GNU Unifont', Verdana, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: 14px;"The sound of the front door opening echoed through the house. em'That's weird' /emI thought ' emMom and dad shouldn't be home till later today…oh god, someone just broke in, oh my god'/em/p
p style="font-family: 'Lucida Grande', 'Lucida Sans Unicode', 'GNU Unifont', Verdana, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: 14px;"I pushed my thought of Joshua aside before springing off my bed. Scanning the room frantically, trying to find something to use as a makeshift weapon. Unfortunately, I wasn't finding a whole lot of options...dammit… But out of the corner of my vision, I noticed a pair of metal scissors laying on my desk. Perfect. Just as I was going to grab them, I froze as I heard a familiar voice call out./p
p style="font-family: 'Lucida Grande', 'Lucida Sans Unicode', 'GNU Unifont', Verdana, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: 14px;""Nekuuuu! Are you hooooome!?"/p
p style="font-family: 'Lucida Grande', 'Lucida Sans Unicode', 'GNU Unifont', Verdana, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: 14px;"emGoddammit, of course it's him. Of course he comes to my house! /em /p
p style="font-family: 'Lucida Grande', 'Lucida Sans Unicode', 'GNU Unifont', Verdana, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: 14px;"I took a deep breath before reluctantly opening my bedroom door. As the door swung open, he was revealed. Drenched in rain, practically dripping even. He was hugging himself, looking around for me I assume./p
p style="font-family: 'Lucida Grande', 'Lucida Sans Unicode', 'GNU Unifont', Verdana, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: 14px;""Joshua? What the hell?" I asked lethargically./p
p style="font-family: 'Lucida Grande', 'Lucida Sans Unicode', 'GNU Unifont', Verdana, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: 14px;""Oh, Neku." He smiled at me. "Sorry, There was an accident at the train station and they say it's going to be a few hours till it's cleared."/p
p style="font-family: 'Lucida Grande', 'Lucida Sans Unicode', 'GNU Unifont', Verdana, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: 14px;""Accident? Is everything alright?"br /"Yeah, I don't think anyone was hurt. Just messy I guess." Josh shrugged his shoulders a bit dismissively./p
p style="font-family: 'Lucida Grande', 'Lucida Sans Unicode', 'GNU Unifont', Verdana, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: 14px;"I gave a simple affirming "hm." as I couldn't help but noticing the salvaged raindrops cascaded down his form. The droplets graced down his pale arms and sensually fell down his neck and chin. His clothes were wet as well, well, mainly his shirt. He already wore his shirt pretty loosely, so seeing a bit of his collarbone was nothing out of the ordinary. But, dress shirts do not mix with rain, or water in general. I could see his thin shoulders and upper part of his chest right through the soaking wet grey fabric./p
p style="font-family: 'Lucida Grande', 'Lucida Sans Unicode', 'GNU Unifont', Verdana, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: 14px;""If you could take a break from undressing me with your eyes and tell me where your towels are so I don't die of hypothermia, that'd be great."/p
p style="font-family: 'Lucida Grande', 'Lucida Sans Unicode', 'GNU Unifont', Verdana, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: 14px;"A rush of blood came to my face as I was taken aback by Joshua's words. emDamnitt, he caught me! /emIt was at this point I realized that he was starting to shiver lightly as he looked at me with those snarky eyes that were accompanied with a smirk of the same nature./p
p style="font-family: 'Lucida Grande', 'Lucida Sans Unicode', 'GNU Unifont', Verdana, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: 14px;""O-Oh yeah...Sorry. Towels are down the hall in the closet." I stammered./p
p style="font-family: 'Lucida Grande', 'Lucida Sans Unicode', 'GNU Unifont', Verdana, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: 14px;""Thanks, also can you take my phone?" Joshua put his phone into my chest. "I don't want it to get wetter than it already is. And If it rings, can you call me? I'm expecting a call soon." Joshua rattled off./p
p style="font-family: 'Lucida Grande', 'Lucida Sans Unicode', 'GNU Unifont', Verdana, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: 14px;""Oh sure, is there anything else you'd like, your majesty?"/p
p style="font-family: 'Lucida Grande', 'Lucida Sans Unicode', 'GNU Unifont', Verdana, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: 14px;""Appreciate it if you didn't go through my text messages."/p
p style="font-family: 'Lucida Grande', 'Lucida Sans Unicode', 'GNU Unifont', Verdana, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: 14px;""Wasn't planning on it but alright."/p
p style="font-family: 'Lucida Grande', 'Lucida Sans Unicode', 'GNU Unifont', Verdana, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: 14px;""Good." Joshua smirked before walking down the hall. emPrick/em/p
p style="font-family: 'Lucida Grande', 'Lucida Sans Unicode', 'GNU Unifont', Verdana, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: 14px;"I put his phone in my pocket before walking over to the couch. I flopped down on the couch letting out a heavy sigh. With heavy eyelids, I began to overthink some more as I stared back into the ceiling./p
p style="font-family: 'Lucida Grande', 'Lucida Sans Unicode', 'GNU Unifont', Verdana, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: 14px;"emHis train gets delayed so he plans to spend the next few hours at my house? Hell, I didn't even know Josh took the train. I know he probably wanted to get out of the rain, but my place isn't exactly close to the station. Couldn't he have called his parents or Mr.H to drive him home? Why was he even IN Shibuya today? As far as I know, there aren't really any events or sales going on today. Maybe he's just here to hang out with Shiki or Beat? I don't know… Maybe I'm just reading to much into this? I can't deny the fact that it is strange that Josh decided to show up at my place, especially considering I've been kinda avoiding him for the last few weeks...I mean...I can't tell him why. I can never tell anyone why I've been avoiding him. Everyone probably assumes I'm pissed at him or we had a falling out. But that's not why. Sure he's a dick every now and again, but the real reason isn't his fault. It's mine. My head is the reason we aren't talking as much. It's awkward being around him nowadays. But not being around him; it's only making these kind of thoughts worse. Thinking about Joshua, you know, like that. I hate it, it feels so wrong. But at the same time, I can't stop. I kinda don't want to stop...I hate to admit it but a weird part of me LIKES having these thoughts about him. I like daydreaming about him and I, you know, like /emstrongemthat/em /strongem. Yeah, It makes me feel weird, but it's a good kind of weird. Like butterflies thrashing around in the pit of your stomach. It feels weird and you hate it, but goddamn does it put a smile on your face. But I know that thinking about Joshua like that is wrong. Not just because he's a guy, but because he's my friend. Having these thoughts about him is distorting my idea of him. I can't say it enough, I hate it. I hate my head for making me think all these weird things about my friend. I hate that it's making things weird and awkward for us. The thing I hate the most is that it's making me think that I really might actually-/em/p
p style="font-family: 'Lucida Grande', 'Lucida Sans Unicode', 'GNU Unifont', Verdana, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: 14px;" /p
p style="font-family: 'Lucida Grande', 'Lucida Sans Unicode', 'GNU Unifont', Verdana, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: 14px;"A burst of vibration to my leg brought me back to the here and now. Thinking it was just a text or email for me, I pulled the phone out and flipped it open. Messages between me and Shiki were visible when the screen became visible. Wait, scanning over the portion of messages what was displayed on the small screen, I don't really remember typing these messages. Hell, I don't remember having this conversation with her. Scrolling up, I soon found a portion of messages that made my blood run cold./p
p style="font-family: 'Lucida Grande', 'Lucida Sans Unicode', 'GNU Unifont', Verdana, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: 14px;" /p
p style="font-family: 'Lucida Grande', 'Lucida Sans Unicode', 'GNU Unifont', Verdana, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: 14px;"Me: Hey, can I ask you a weird question?/p
p style="font-family: 'Lucida Grande', 'Lucida Sans Unicode', 'GNU Unifont', Verdana, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: 14px;" align="right"Yeah, what's up?: Shiki (ΦωΦ)/p
p style="font-family: 'Lucida Grande', 'Lucida Sans Unicode', 'GNU Unifont', Verdana, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: 14px;"Me: Do you know why Neku's been avoiding me lately?/p
p style="font-family: 'Lucida Grande', 'Lucida Sans Unicode', 'GNU Unifont', Verdana, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: 14px;"Me: Is he mad at me about something?/p
p style="font-family: 'Lucida Grande', 'Lucida Sans Unicode', 'GNU Unifont', Verdana, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: 14px;" align="right"I don't think so?: Shiki (ΦωΦ)/p
p style="font-family: 'Lucida Grande', 'Lucida Sans Unicode', 'GNU Unifont', Verdana, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: 14px;" align="right"He hasn't said anything to me about it at least: Shiki (ΦωΦ)/p
p style="font-family: 'Lucida Grande', 'Lucida Sans Unicode', 'GNU Unifont', Verdana, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: 14px;" align="right"What's going on? (if you don't mind me asking): Shiki (ΦωΦ)/p
p style="font-family: 'Lucida Grande', 'Lucida Sans Unicode', 'GNU Unifont', Verdana, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: 14px;"Me: I honestly don't know/p
p style="font-family: 'Lucida Grande', 'Lucida Sans Unicode', 'GNU Unifont', Verdana, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: 14px;"Me: He isn't talking to me or responding to my messages/p
p style="font-family: 'Lucida Grande', 'Lucida Sans Unicode', 'GNU Unifont', Verdana, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: 14px;" align="right"Did you guys have a falling out?: Shiki (ΦωΦ)/p
p style="font-family: 'Lucida Grande', 'Lucida Sans Unicode', 'GNU Unifont', Verdana, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: 14px;"Me: No! He just stopped talking to me/p
p style="font-family: 'Lucida Grande', 'Lucida Sans Unicode', 'GNU Unifont', Verdana, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: 14px;"Me: Should I be worried?/p
p style="font-family: 'Lucida Grande', 'Lucida Sans Unicode', 'GNU Unifont', Verdana, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: 14px;" align="right"Probably not: Shiki (ΦωΦ)/p
p style="font-family: 'Lucida Grande', 'Lucida Sans Unicode', 'GNU Unifont', Verdana, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: 14px;" align="right"He gets in these moods sometimes and he just needs his space: Shiki (ΦωΦ)/p
p style="font-family: 'Lucida Grande', 'Lucida Sans Unicode', 'GNU Unifont', Verdana, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: 14px;"Me: Does he do that for long periods of time?/p
p style="font-family: 'Lucida Grande', 'Lucida Sans Unicode', 'GNU Unifont', Verdana, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: 14px;"Me: He's been avoiding for weeks/p
p style="font-family: 'Lucida Grande', 'Lucida Sans Unicode', 'GNU Unifont', Verdana, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: 14px;" align="right"Weeks!?: Shiki (ΦωΦ)/p
p style="font-family: 'Lucida Grande', 'Lucida Sans Unicode', 'GNU Unifont', Verdana, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: 14px;" align="right"Okay, we might need an intervention: Shiki (ΦωΦ)/p
p style="font-family: 'Lucida Grande', 'Lucida Sans Unicode', 'GNU Unifont', Verdana, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: 14px;"Me: Intervention!?/p
p style="font-family: 'Lucida Grande', 'Lucida Sans Unicode', 'GNU Unifont', Verdana, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: 14px;"Me: Is it that serious?/p
p style="font-family: 'Lucida Grande', 'Lucida Sans Unicode', 'GNU Unifont', Verdana, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: 14px;" align="right"It's not like him to dodge texts from his friends for that long: Shiki (ΦωΦ)/p
p style="font-family: 'Lucida Grande', 'Lucida Sans Unicode', 'GNU Unifont', Verdana, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: 14px;" align="right"Somethings up: Shiki (ΦωΦ)/p
p style="font-family: 'Lucida Grande', 'Lucida Sans Unicode', 'GNU Unifont', Verdana, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: 14px;" align="right"I can feel it: Shiki (ΦωΦ)/p
p style="font-family: 'Lucida Grande', 'Lucida Sans Unicode', 'GNU Unifont', Verdana, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: 14px;"Me: So what do you think we should do?/p
p style="font-family: 'Lucida Grande', 'Lucida Sans Unicode', 'GNU Unifont', Verdana, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: 14px;" align="right"Alright, this is gonna sound crazy. But it might work: Shiki (ΦωΦ)/p
p style="font-family: 'Lucida Grande', 'Lucida Sans Unicode', 'GNU Unifont', Verdana, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: 14px;" align="right"Try going over to his place and talking it out: Shiki (ΦωΦ)/p
p style="font-family: 'Lucida Grande', 'Lucida Sans Unicode', 'GNU Unifont', Verdana, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: 14px;"Me: What!?/p
p style="font-family: 'Lucida Grande', 'Lucida Sans Unicode', 'GNU Unifont', Verdana, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: 14px;"Me: Are you high!?/p
p style="font-family: 'Lucida Grande', 'Lucida Sans Unicode', 'GNU Unifont', Verdana, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: 14px;"Me: I can't just confront him like that!/p
p style="font-family: 'Lucida Grande', 'Lucida Sans Unicode', 'GNU Unifont', Verdana, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: 14px;" align="right"Not like an interrogation!: Shiki (ΦωΦ)/p
p style="font-family: 'Lucida Grande', 'Lucida Sans Unicode', 'GNU Unifont', Verdana, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: 14px;" align="right"It'll just be like clearing the air, nothing too serious: Shiki (ΦωΦ)/p
p style="font-family: 'Lucida Grande', 'Lucida Sans Unicode', 'GNU Unifont', Verdana, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: 14px;"Me: Is going to his apartment really the best course of action?/p
p style="font-family: 'Lucida Grande', 'Lucida Sans Unicode', 'GNU Unifont', Verdana, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: 14px;" align="right"That's the place he's most likely to be: Shiki (ΦωΦ)/p
p style="font-family: 'Lucida Grande', 'Lucida Sans Unicode', 'GNU Unifont', Verdana, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: 14px;" align="right"Wait: Shiki (ΦωΦ)/p
p style="font-family: 'Lucida Grande', 'Lucida Sans Unicode', 'GNU Unifont', Verdana, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: 14px;" align="right"Maybe don't come off too strong to start: Shiki (ΦωΦ)/p
p style="font-family: 'Lucida Grande', 'Lucida Sans Unicode', 'GNU Unifont', Verdana, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: 14px;" align="right"Say you were in the neighborhood and just wanted to visit: Shiki (ΦωΦ)/p
p style="font-family: 'Lucida Grande', 'Lucida Sans Unicode', 'GNU Unifont', Verdana, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: 14px;"Me: And then what!?/p
p style="font-family: 'Lucida Grande', 'Lucida Sans Unicode', 'GNU Unifont', Verdana, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: 14px;"Uhhhh: Shiki (ΦωΦ)/p
p style="font-family: 'Lucida Grande', 'Lucida Sans Unicode', 'GNU Unifont', Verdana, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: 14px;" align="right"Here, I'll call you in a bit, after you're in: Shiki (ΦωΦ)/p
p style="font-family: 'Lucida Grande', 'Lucida Sans Unicode', 'GNU Unifont', Verdana, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: 14px;" align="right"We'll talk from there: Shiki (ΦωΦ)/p
p style="font-family: 'Lucida Grande', 'Lucida Sans Unicode', 'GNU Unifont', Verdana, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: 14px;"Me: Alright I'm almost there/p
p style="font-family: 'Lucida Grande', 'Lucida Sans Unicode', 'GNU Unifont', Verdana, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: 14px;"Me: I'm outside his place/p
p style="font-family: 'Lucida Grande', 'Lucida Sans Unicode', 'GNU Unifont', Verdana, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: 14px;" align="right"Alright, I'll call you in a bit: Shiki (ΦωΦ)/p
p style="font-family: 'Lucida Grande', 'Lucida Sans Unicode', 'GNU Unifont', Verdana, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: 14px;" /p
p style="font-family: 'Lucida Grande', 'Lucida Sans Unicode', 'GNU Unifont', Verdana, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: 14px;"The realization hit me like a ton of bricks. All I could do is stare at the pixels that revealed a plot to expose me. emThey're on to me. /em emOh my god, what do I tell him!? I can't tell him the truth! What will he think of me!? What will everyone think of me!? I have to make something up. Maybe I've been sick with the flu? Or I just haven't been getting his messages? Or maybe-/em/p
p style="font-family: 'Lucida Grande', 'Lucida Sans Unicode', 'GNU Unifont', Verdana, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: 14px;""Nekuuuu!" a sing-song voice called out./p
p style="font-family: 'Lucida Grande', 'Lucida Sans Unicode', 'GNU Unifont', Verdana, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: 14px;"I quickly shut his phone and hastily shoved it back into my pocket./p
p style="font-family: 'Lucida Grande', 'Lucida Sans Unicode', 'GNU Unifont', Verdana, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: 14px;""Yeah Josh?" I called back./p
p style="font-family: 'Lucida Grande', 'Lucida Sans Unicode', 'GNU Unifont', Verdana, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: 14px;""Is it okay if I use one of your shirts while mine dries?"/p
p style="font-family: 'Lucida Grande', 'Lucida Sans Unicode', 'GNU Unifont', Verdana, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: 14px;""Yeah, first drawer in my room."/p
p style="font-family: 'Lucida Grande', 'Lucida Sans Unicode', 'GNU Unifont', Verdana, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: 14px;""Alright, thanks!"/p
p style="font-family: 'Lucida Grande', 'Lucida Sans Unicode', 'GNU Unifont', Verdana, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: 14px;"I heard feet shuffling down the hallway. A few seconds later Joshua popped out from the corner, somewhat dry now. Oh yeah, and shirtless too./p
p style="font-family: 'Lucida Grande', 'Lucida Sans Unicode', 'GNU Unifont', Verdana, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: 14px;""Do you mind if I have my phone back?"/p
p style="font-family: 'Lucida Grande', 'Lucida Sans Unicode', 'GNU Unifont', Verdana, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: 14px;""Oh yeah, here." getting up from the couch and walking over to him, I pulled the phone out of my pocket and handed it to him, trying my best not to look at his bare chest./p
p style="font-family: 'Lucida Grande', 'Lucida Sans Unicode', 'GNU Unifont', Verdana, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: 14px;""Thanks" he replied, taking the phone "hope you had fun going through my messages."/p
p style="font-family: 'Lucida Grande', 'Lucida Sans Unicode', 'GNU Unifont', Verdana, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: 14px;"I stifled back a croke to reply with "Oh yeah, you wish." I scoffed biting my tongue and internally screaming at Josh's unnervingly accurate teasing./p
p style="font-family: 'Lucida Grande', 'Lucida Sans Unicode', 'GNU Unifont', Verdana, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: 14px;"Unexpectedly, I felt a soft grip around my wrist./p
p style="font-family: 'Lucida Grande', 'Lucida Sans Unicode', 'GNU Unifont', Verdana, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: 14px;""Come on, let's go to your room." Joshua trugged me along the hallway./p
p style="font-family: 'Lucida Grande', 'Lucida Sans Unicode', 'GNU Unifont', Verdana, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: 14px;""W...Wait! Why?"/p
p style="font-family: 'Lucida Grande', 'Lucida Sans Unicode', 'GNU Unifont', Verdana, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: 14px;""Because I want to, plus I'll get to further criticizes what you call a fashion sense" Joshua teased as he pulled me to my bedroom door./p
p style="font-family: 'Lucida Grande', 'Lucida Sans Unicode', 'GNU Unifont', Verdana, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: 14px;"The door swung open and he practically flung me into my room before going to look through the top drawer of my dresser. Flopping down on my bed defeated, I watched Joshua file through the semi-folded shirts. I tried to avert my eyes from his exposed form. Well, try isn't exactly the right word. I did occasionally sneak glances at him. I'd let my eyes trail down his back, noticing how his spine showed it's outline near his neck. Or how there was a light dip lower down, near the beginning on his pants. I knew Josh always had more feminine looking hips but now that I'm really looking at them, just wow...kinda hot honestly…/p
p style="font-family: 'Lucida Grande', 'Lucida Sans Unicode', 'GNU Unifont', Verdana, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: 14px;"Joshua pulled a shirt out of the stack and pulled it over his head. He tugged it down, covering him up./p
p style="font-family: 'Lucida Grande', 'Lucida Sans Unicode', 'GNU Unifont', Verdana, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: 14px;""Thanks for letting me stay." Josh smiled as he sat next to me on the bed./p
p style="font-family: 'Lucida Grande', 'Lucida Sans Unicode', 'GNU Unifont', Verdana, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: 14px;""Oh, uh, yeah no problem." I awkwardly smiled back./p
p style="font-family: 'Lucida Grande', 'Lucida Sans Unicode', 'GNU Unifont', Verdana, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: 14px;"For a few moments, we said nothing. We just sat in silence, painful, awkward silence. The only sound was the rain picking up outside, pounding on the window behind us. emHe's going to crack the question, I know it. That's the whole reason he came after all! What the hell am I going tell him!? Obviously, I absolutely positively cannot tell him the truth. Absolutely not. So then, what am I going to tell him? I had the flu or that I just been busy? Maybe I should-/em/p
p style="font-family: 'Lucida Grande', 'Lucida Sans Unicode', 'GNU Unifont', Verdana, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: 14px;""Neku…?" Josh finally spoke in a hushed voice. /p
p style="font-family: 'Lucida Grande', 'Lucida Sans Unicode', 'GNU Unifont', Verdana, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: 14px;"emOh god, it's time./em/p
p style="font-family: 'Lucida Grande', 'Lucida Sans Unicode', 'GNU Unifont', Verdana, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: 14px;""Um, yeah?" I returned, clearing my throat. /p
p style="font-family: 'Lucida Grande', 'Lucida Sans Unicode', 'GNU Unifont', Verdana, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: 14px;""There's a real reason why I came here…"/p
p style="font-family: 'Lucida Grande', 'Lucida Sans Unicode', 'GNU Unifont', Verdana, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: 14px;""Oh yeah?" I stuttered out, trying to fake ignorance./p
p style="font-family: 'Lucida Grande', 'Lucida Sans Unicode', 'GNU Unifont', Verdana, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: 14px;""Listen" He stood up from the bed and took a few paced across the room "I'm not going to beat around the bush. We both know what's going on..."/p
p style="font-family: 'Lucida Grande', 'Lucida Sans Unicode', 'GNU Unifont', Verdana, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: 14px;"emWait. No. Oh my god. No, he can't. He can't know. How would he know-/em/p
p style="font-family: 'Lucida Grande', 'Lucida Sans Unicode', 'GNU Unifont', Verdana, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: 14px;"Joshua turned around to face me, crossing his arms./p
p style="font-family: 'Lucida Grande', 'Lucida Sans Unicode', 'GNU Unifont', Verdana, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: 14px;""Why have you been avoiding me lately?" Joshua questioned in a firm tone. "I'm not leaving without an answer."/p
p style="font-family: 'Lucida Grande', 'Lucida Sans Unicode', 'GNU Unifont', Verdana, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: 14px;""Oh, I uh...well...well you see...see the thing is-" My words came out of my mouth jumbled and fragmented before being cut off./p
p style="font-family: 'Lucida Grande', 'Lucida Sans Unicode', 'GNU Unifont', Verdana, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: 14px;""Are you mad at me?" His eyes softened as he looked at me "You can tell me if you are, I'm not a child."/p
p style="font-family: 'Lucida Grande', 'Lucida Sans Unicode', 'GNU Unifont', Verdana, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: 14px;""N...No! No, I'm not-"/p
p style="font-family: 'Lucida Grande', 'Lucida Sans Unicode', 'GNU Unifont', Verdana, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: 14px;""Then why are you avoiding me!?" Joshua snapped harshly. His lavender eyes were filled with confusion and frustration./p
p style="font-family: 'Lucida Grande', 'Lucida Sans Unicode', 'GNU Unifont', Verdana, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: 14px;"The rain picked up even more, like bullets hitting the glass pane. The air and pressure was growing thicker with every passing second. It was growing harder to breathe, It felt like I was being strangled as Joshua yelled at me./p
p style="font-family: 'Lucida Grande', 'Lucida Sans Unicode', 'GNU Unifont', Verdana, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: 14px;""Why!? Why have you been ignoring my texts!? Why have you been ignoring me!? Why won't you tell me-"/p
p style="font-family: 'Lucida Grande', 'Lucida Sans Unicode', 'GNU Unifont', Verdana, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: 14px;""strong emI'm avoiding you because I'm afraid I might be in love with you!/em /strong" The words were choked out of my throat and spilled onto the room. Tears spilled out of my eyes while shame and guilt dripped from my lips. Guts and humiliation plunged from my body. All at once, Everywhere./p
p style="font-family: 'Lucida Grande', 'Lucida Sans Unicode', 'GNU Unifont', Verdana, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: 14px;"Joshua was stunned silent. He didn't say a thing, what could he say? What is he thinking? Is he surprised? Disgusted? Mortified?/p
p style="font-family: 'Lucida Grande', 'Lucida Sans Unicode', 'GNU Unifont', Verdana, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: 14px;""You're…" Joshua finally croaked out "em You're in love with me? /em"/p
p style="font-family: 'Lucida Grande', 'Lucida Sans Unicode', 'GNU Unifont', Verdana, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: 14px;""I'm disgusting Joshua...I've been having weird thoughts...about you…" I confessed through the sobs, sniffles, and shame "I shouldn't be thinking about you like this...you're a boy...but more importantly you're my friend! I shouldn't be thinking about my friends like this-"/p
p style="font-family: 'Lucida Grande', 'Lucida Sans Unicode', 'GNU Unifont', Verdana, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: 14px;""Neku." Josh cut me off in a hushed, sweet sounding voice./p
p style="font-family: 'Lucida Grande', 'Lucida Sans Unicode', 'GNU Unifont', Verdana, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: 14px;"I looked up to see him knelt down to my level. His eyes were filled with...god, I don't even know what. His hand slid to caress my tear stained cheek, using his thumb to wipe away stray tears./p
p style="font-family: 'Lucida Grande', 'Lucida Sans Unicode', 'GNU Unifont', Verdana, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: 14px;""Look, I didn't know how to tell you this but...now seems like the best time..." His eyes darted to the ground and to the surrounding walls./p
p style="font-family: 'Lucida Grande', 'Lucida Sans Unicode', 'GNU Unifont', Verdana, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: 14px;""I've…" He stopped to clear his throat "I've felt the same way about you for a while now…"/p
p style="font-family: 'Lucida Grande', 'Lucida Sans Unicode', 'GNU Unifont', Verdana, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: 14px;""You...You have?" I sputtered in disbelief./p
p style="font-family: 'Lucida Grande', 'Lucida Sans Unicode', 'GNU Unifont', Verdana, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: 14px;"He nodded "I've also had...weird thoughts about you too…" he continued, now looking me directly in the eyes "I've wanted to tell you, but, I didn't know how you'd react…"/p
p style="font-family: 'Lucida Grande', 'Lucida Sans Unicode', 'GNU Unifont', Verdana, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: 14px;""Well, I guess that means we both love each other, huh?" I mumbled, still lightly crying./p
p style="font-family: 'Lucida Grande', 'Lucida Sans Unicode', 'GNU Unifont', Verdana, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: 14px;""Yeah, I...I guess so…" Josh replied with the same tone as he began to inch closer slowly. My hand rested on his cheek. His skin softer than I imagined...was the same true with his lips?/p
p style="font-family: 'Lucida Grande', 'Lucida Sans Unicode', 'GNU Unifont', Verdana, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: 14px;""Do you want me to stop?" He whispered close to my face as he tilted his to the side./p
p style="font-family: 'Lucida Grande', 'Lucida Sans Unicode', 'GNU Unifont', Verdana, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: 14px;""No." I breathlessly whispered against his lips. My eyes began to flutter shut with his. Our lips met soon after. I was right, his were soft. I literally felt high in that moment. His breath fanning against my skin. His hand cupping my cheek as the free one trailed up from the back of my neck and into my hair. The light inhales and gasps we take between kisses. I wanted to hold Joshua close, closer than ever before. All other thoughts were pushed out of my mind. I didn't care if this was wrong or weird. I didn't care what this meant for us going forward. I didn't care. All that mattered was Joshua and his sweet as candy lips. I guess Beat was right,em we should have done this sooner... /emEventually, we had to pull away for air. In between breaths, we stared into each other's eyes./p
p style="font-family: 'Lucida Grande', 'Lucida Sans Unicode', 'GNU Unifont', Verdana, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: 14px;""Do you...um…" it was awkward trying to find the words "Do you wanna, like, cuddle?"/p
p style="font-family: 'Lucida Grande', 'Lucida Sans Unicode', 'GNU Unifont', Verdana, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: 14px;""Certainly." He replied with a smile./p
p style="font-family: 'Lucida Grande', 'Lucida Sans Unicode', 'GNU Unifont', Verdana, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: 14px;"He then got up from his knelt position before crawling behind me and laying down on the bed./p
p style="font-family: 'Lucida Grande', 'Lucida Sans Unicode', 'GNU Unifont', Verdana, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: 14px;""Aw, you kept the fox I gave you." Josh cooed, looking over at it./p
p style="font-family: 'Lucida Grande', 'Lucida Sans Unicode', 'GNU Unifont', Verdana, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: 14px;""Course I did." I crawled on the bed and nuzzled myself between his arm and chest. My head rested under his chin while my arm was stretched across his chest. I could feel his chest rising and falling with each breath he took./p
p style="font-family: 'Lucida Grande', 'Lucida Sans Unicode', 'GNU Unifont', Verdana, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: 14px;""I'm gonna be honest Neku, I never thought you'd be the one to confess first."/p
p style="font-family: 'Lucida Grande', 'Lucida Sans Unicode', 'GNU Unifont', Verdana, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: 14px;""When were you planning on confessing then?"/p
p style="font-family: 'Lucida Grande', 'Lucida Sans Unicode', 'GNU Unifont', Verdana, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: 14px;""I..um...I was working on it."/p
p style="font-family: 'Lucida Grande', 'Lucida Sans Unicode', 'GNU Unifont', Verdana, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: 14px;""Oh sure…"/p
p style="font-family: 'Lucida Grande', 'Lucida Sans Unicode', 'GNU Unifont', Verdana, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: 14px;""Shut up."/p
p style="font-family: 'Lucida Grande', 'Lucida Sans Unicode', 'GNU Unifont', Verdana, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: 14px;""That's my line." I lightly laughed as I felt his arm tighten around me./p
p style="font-family: 'Lucida Grande', 'Lucida Sans Unicode', 'GNU Unifont', Verdana, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: 14px;"We stayed silent for a long time. After all, there was nothing to say at the moment. Or rather that we wanted to say. But that didn't matter at the moment, or we just didn't care. The rain continued to pelt against the window, but I didn't care./p
p style="font-family: 'Lucida Grande', 'Lucida Sans Unicode', 'GNU Unifont', Verdana, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: 14px;""Hey, Neku?" Joshua asked, sounding a bit hesitant/p
p style="font-family: 'Lucida Grande', 'Lucida Sans Unicode', 'GNU Unifont', Verdana, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: 14px;""Hm?"/p
p style="font-family: 'Lucida Grande', 'Lucida Sans Unicode', 'GNU Unifont', Verdana, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: 14px;""I love you…" He forced out. I smiled up at him./p
p style="font-family: 'Lucida Grande', 'Lucida Sans Unicode', 'GNU Unifont', Verdana, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: 14px;""I love you too, asshole."/p