The Colour of Blue

Memo: The italized sentences are the things that are going through Hayley's head at that moment in the story.

'Um, hey again. It's me…again. 401 messages and still counting haha. I know you're never going to pick up the phone, or listen to any of my messages but I'm still hoping. Even though there isn't any slightest chance in the world that you would. …uh, yeah.'

I took in a deep breath realizing that I hadn't breathed at all since the beginning of the 401th message. You would think that I'd be used to this by now.

'…I really hate you for leaving me. I really, really do but that doesn't stop me from missing you. And I wish you would feel the pain that I'm going through right now. I'm an emotional wreck. I wish you would be the one sitting on the kitchen floor, crying and eating all the tea biscuits. Watching re-runs of 'Friends'. Vise versa. '

Another deep breath. '…I wish you'd just come home.'

I hung up the phone before the tears would start over-flowing, again. This is pathetic. It's been 3 months and I had not left the house. I hadn't bathed in God knows when, and I had run out of clean clothes 2 weeks ago.

I had let myself go.

'Stupid demon box machine why won't you start!'
'Hayley…why did you decide to do your own laundry today? You don't even know how to start the damned thing.'
'…shut up Rose.'
Hayley's glare switched back and forth from her best friend to the washing machine.
'Abra kadabra!' She wiggled her fingers and said the magic words hoping that the machine would start by itself. A self-starting washing machine.
The sound of laughter made her turn her attention to the man laughing.
'All you had to say was please.' The guy said, as he started the 'demon box' for Hayley.
'Thanks, I owe you one.' She blushed bright red.
'No problem. The name's Benjamin. Call me Ben.' He winked. 'And you, Hayley was it? Can re-pay me by going out for dinner with little 'ole me tonight. Meet you here at 8!'
And before Hayley could decline, Ben had already left.'Oh woe is me!' I yelled into the carpet. I had somehow made my way from the kitchen floor, to the couch, and then lying down flat-faced on the carpet. I knew I was a magician.

'Hayley! Open the door, it's Rose.'

'Yeah, yeah, yeah. It's already opened.'

Rose opened the door, and peeked in.

'AHAHAHAHA. You're a loser, get off the floor.' Rose burst in laughing. She made her way to the living room, stopped right beside me, and kicked me so I was now facing the ceiling.

'You laugh at me in my time of need.'

'Yeah, well you smell rancid. Come on, I'm taking you out tonight.' Rose took me by my wrists and dragged me to the washroom.

'Why are you taking me ouuuut? I want to stay home. I want to finish the tea biscuits.' I whined.

'…it's your birthday today.'

'Right.'

I took the longest shower I ever had, as Rose picked out my outfit for tonight. Truthfully, I didn't want to go but I had to. I didn't want to hurt Rose's feelings plus…I needed to stop mourning. It's not healthy for one to cry so much.

I had gotten dressed all pretty and what not. And then dolled myself up with some make-up. We made our way to the elevator and then to the empty parking lot where Rose's car was parked, and exited throught the garage door. As the door opened, a stream of light blinded my eyes for a mere 5 seconds. I don't remember the last time I saw the sun. I forgot how bright it was.

We drove for about 10 minutes and neither of us talked. The silence was killing me.

'…awkwaaard.' I sighed.

Rose laughed and turned on the stereo and played her CD. We both sang and danced along to the song 'Stripper' by The Soho Dolls. I hadn't had this much fun in a while now, and I realized how much I missed spending time with my best friend. The song had finished and another song came on. We both had stopped singing and dancing by then but the song sounded familiar. It wasn't until the chorus came that I noticed what the song was.

Come home, come home
'Cause I've been waiting for you, for so long, for so long
And right now there's a war between the vanities
But all I see is you and me
The fight for you is all I've ever known
So come home.The tears started welling up and Rose looked at me with an apologetic smile. She quickly skipped to the next song on the CD.

'I'm sorry, I totally forgot that this song was next. I should've…'

'It's okay.' I interrupted her while I dried my eyes. 'It's okay.'

The rest of the ride was silent other than the fact that Rose had told me that we were going to Olive Garden before we went dancing. Yes, we were going dancing tonight. How fun…

The woman took us to our table, and then we ordered our food. We started eating, and things became less awkward between Rose and me so we started talking more. Half way through our meal, my heart stopped as I saw who sat 2 tables away from us.

Please God, don't let him notice us. Please, please, please.

'Oh my gosh. Hayley is that you?!'

I inhaled sharply and faked a smile as I looked up. He had walked over here by then.

'Heeeey David.' I winced.

'How's it going? I haven't heard from you in a while! Happy Birthday by the way!' he said.

'I'm…holding up. Haha, yeah I've been really busy lately. Thanks. How are you?'

'I'm good, just here with my girlfriend Bianca. Listen, I'm sure if my brother were…here, he'd want you to be happy. So enjoy it okay?'

He sees right through me.'Yeah, I know Ben would. I'll talk to you later okay?' My voice cracked when I said 'his' name.

After David and Bianca left the restaurant, Rose raised her eyebrows and I nodded.

'Check please?!'

I sat at the bar and watched Rose dance with an undeniably attractive man. She looked like she was having a good time, how come I wasn't?

'Hey, do you come here often?'

I turned around to see a stranger standing beside me leaning against the table.

'Do your pick-up lines often suck?' I responded bitterly.

The stranger laughed.

'The name's Jesse. Jesse Andrews.' He waited, expecting me to tell him my name. 'Well…aren't you going to tell me yours?'

I raised a brow at him, and turned my attention to my drink.

'…so, do you have a boyfriend here? Should I be worried?'

This guy just didn't know when to give up! I sighed exasperatedly.

'Hayley Rutherford, and no I don't have a boyfriend…anymore.'

'Did you two break up?'

He wants my life story.

'He died 3 months ago. Wait, why am I telling you, a stranger, this?!'

'Well I'm sorry to hear that.' He said sincerely. 'And because it's therapeutic.'

I nodded my head in agreement. I did feel kind of better saying it…sort of.

'Why don't we dance the hurt emotions away yes?'

I looked up at him. I didn't realize how handsome he was until now. I think I started to drool a little. He took my hand and led me to the dancefloor. He placed his hands on my hips as I swayed them to the beat of the music. I looked over at Rose and she winked at me. I blushed madly.

After a bit, I turned around and faced Jesse and placed my hands on his neck. I looked into his eyes and he looked into mine. We held our stares for a long time. Why did I feel so connected to this stranger? I just met him 50 minutes ago. That's when something clicked in my brain like a light switch turning on. Despite the fact that the club was darkly lit, I could still make out the colour of Jesse's eyes. They were the exact same shade of Ben's before he got sick.

This time, instead of crying, I smiled. I smiled at the stranger and he smiled back.

I looked at his eyes again, his nose, his cheeks, his lips. It had been so long since I felt someone's lips against mine. I leaned in, and he copied my actions. Our lips attached and we kissed for a while in the middle of the dancefloor.

Let's just say that one thing led unto another and I woke up in Jesse's loft. I left before he woke up and placed a note on the bedside table stating my number, my address and that I'll hopefully see him soon.

I headed for my apartment, thank goodness I had some spare change in my pocket for the bus or I would've had to walk home.

I opened the door to my apartment, and sighed happily stepping inside. I placed my coat and purse on the counter and almost had a heart attack when I found Rose sitting on my couch smirking at me.

'How was he? Was he good?' She questioned and laughed.

I smacked her arm and sighed...and then I told her everything. After a while, Rose left because she had a date with Anthony, the guy she danced with last night. I decided that it was time to visit Mrs. Cho at the Laundromat down the street.

I took a hot shower, changed into my Sunday's best (old soccer jersey & sweats), put my laundry in the sack and made my way down the street.

'Good morning Mrs. Cho!' I yelled to her while walking to one of the washing machines.

'Good morning Hayley. Do you need any help with that?' she pointed to my laundry sack.

'No it's okay. I think I'll manage.'

I stuffed my clothes in the machine and put in the detergent, but the machine refused to co-operate with me. No not again. Maybe I did need some help.

I started cursing at the demon box under my breath and kicking it when no one was around or looking.

'Do you need help with that?'

I twirled around only to see Jesse Andrews with his own bin of laundry that needed to be cleaned.

'Yes please.' I beamed.

He laughed and turned the stupid thing on for me. When he was done, he turned around and for the second time since we've met, I stared into his eyes.

The beautiful faint colour of blue.