.
.
your heart
is a strange little orange to
peel
.
.
.
Sam Pucket has never been smart or kind. Not in anyway that mattered.
Which is the bizarre practicallity of having a twin. She'll never think of the right thing to say, her smile will never cure cancer; but Melanie..
Well.
Sam only hugs with her fists and before she was beating up Freddie, there was her sister. And before it was Carly, Freddie, and Sam , there was Carly, Melanie, and Sam. (The difference is that Melanie can marginally look out for herself, a Pucket underneath it all.)
She didn't hate the arrangement.
What she does hate is how much she can't say to her twin; that her fingers twitch over the keys, but she texts nothing. Their absent mother, this broken life; her sister is finally free of it. And if she wants more for her sister there is also a part of her that wants this, at least, for herself. Sam has never shared well and maybe she finally knows what it's like to have something completely hers. Sam without Melanie.
Sam alone.
.
.
Sam has always been hungry for two.
Take a minute to let that sink in.
.
.
When Melanie comes home, there is part of her that lies sullen, treacherous beneath her breast.
Better when you're gone she says.
(I've missed you, she doesn't)
.
.
Melanie and Freddie kiss.
She doesn't know why her mind stutters;
why her heart shutters;
why the world stops.
(She can't know)
.
Her sister comes with her hands empty, but eyes filled. And it's not like looking into a mirror, forget the freaky twin shenanigans. Her gaze would never shy away like her sister's. Her mouth would never quiver.
Please they say. You are noise and light and cherished for who you are and you are my sister and I love you for all your buried kindness and sudden cruelty. You can draw anyone into your butterfly effect chaos and that's what you do, what you are. But please, please this once. Let me be loved.
And Sam understands, as much as she pretends she doesn't.
.
.
It takes awhile for Freddie to figure out that there are in fact two of them.
(It takes no time at all for him to ask Melanie out again.)
.
.
This is what being Sam Pucket is.
.
.
~fin
.