I wrote this for one of my best friends in the entire world. I love her to death, and this story is dedicated to her.

This was killing me. All of it was driving me mad. Why did he invite me to his fucking wedding? He'd never know how I felt for him now that he was going to be married...Vera. That was her name. The woman he loved. I observed how happy they both looked up at the altar, and all I could do was stare. She was beautiful, and I'd never be. It was pretty clear that Dee Dee only liked pretty girls like her. I was so ugly, he'd never give me a chance, even though we were best friends.

See, here's the thing...Dee Dee and I had history together. We met back even before he started playing with his band The Ramones. Before he was even Dee Dee Ramone. When I first met him, he was just a young guy named Douglas Colvin who lived across the street from me over on the lower east side. I remembered everything about our first encounter together...

. . .

Six Years Ago...

I went downstairs to see if the mail had arrived, and saw a young mailman delivering it just then. He had dark brown eyes that lit up when he saw me, and an adorable smile. "Oh uh...hi, I was just gonna put your mail in here, but since you're here, I'll just give it to ya."

I smiled back at him and reached out my hand to take my mail. "Thanks."

"So, what do you do?"

"Oh, right now, I'm unemployed. I'm still looking for work."

"Oh I see-" He cut himself off when he looked down at my hand. "I love that book."

I looked at my right hand and saw that I was still clutching the novel "Carrie" by Stephen King. "Oh, you like Stephen King too?"

"Yeah, hes cool. I don't read books that much, but I like that one." A small chuckle escaped from him, making me smile.

"You have a nice laugh." Why did I just say that! I was getting ready for social suicide when he just laughed more and thanked me.

"Hey ya know, you seem pretty cool. We should hang out sometime."

My eyes widened. "You...you wanna hang out...with me?"

"Yeah, you seem pretty cool. I'll tell ya what. I get off my shift at 5:00. Why don't we meet up here at 5:30 and then maybe we can do something together. How's that sound?"

I couldn't believe that someone actually asked me to spend time with them! I never left my apartment, I just liked to read and listen to records all day. And work on my art. That was sort of my thing. That was all I ever did. The last time I went out was back in high school. After that, I sort of became a hermit living in a cave..."Um...yeah, that's sounds great! Okay well, I mean, I don't want to stop you from your job, so maybe you should go now."

He smiled. "Yeah, you're right. Okay, I'll see you later. And it was nice talking to you. What's your name?"

"My name is Roisin, but you can call me Rosy. That's my nickname." I tugged at my hair nervously.

"Rosy. I like that. Well my names Douglas." He finished putting up the rest of the mail and got back on the elevator. "See ya later."

I went back to my apartment smiling, 5:30 pm not coming soon enough...

. . .

We hung out almost everyday after that...drinking, smoking, watching movies, listening to music together...thinking of the day we met always made me smile when life was hard. It always made things brighter. But now, every time I think of that day I'll think of the fact that now Dee Dee would be spending more time with Vera. We'd be driven apart by her. And I was still alone. He was honestly the only friend I had that I could trust. And I was completely in love with him. Now I'd have to forget. Forget everything. Because of her.

"And you may now kiss the bride," the minister said. This was it. They made it final with that kiss. I couldn't take it anymore, and got straight up from my chair. I could feel curious eyes on me as I walked out. And I heard Dee Dee call my name, but I couldn't turn around, I had to keep going. If, for one second, I turned to look back at him, I'd see Vera in his arms. And that would just kill me. I had to leave. So I didn't stop. Not when I got to the parking lot, not until I got back home. And once the door was locked, the lights were on, and it was just me all alone, I let it all out. All of the emotions I was feeling since that very morning. No...since Vera even came into the picture.

Tears ran down my face and ugly, hideous sobs escaped my esophagus. I suffered by myself, just the way I wanted it. Some part of me never wanted to see Dee Dee again, but I knew he'd come looking for me anyways. He always did. I mean...he was my best friend after all. I guess...I was just, more than anything, afraid that we wouldn't get to do the things we always did together before Vera came into his life. I was afraid that even though she was his wife now, he'd give all of his time to her and just eventually leave me.

I was used to people abandoning me, it was all I ever knew. I was used to being picked on, not having many friends because of my shyness. I knew what it was like for people to not want to be around me anymore, for even my closest friends to betray me and be with other people. But Dee Dee...if he did the same, it would seriously break me. I wouldn't be able to trust anyone ever again if he did that to me.

I didn't want to be the person that everyone felt sorry for, but I think it was too late for that once they all saw me storm out of the church like that. They knew I was the girl who loved him, cared about him...After I was done crying and was finally exhausted, I took my makeup off, undressed myself, changed into my pajamas and got into bed, desperately trying to fall asleep. I was definitely tired, but somehow my eyes were still wide open. My mind was still swimming with thoughts, so I decided to smoke a cigarette. That would calm me. After about twenty minutes, I felt I was feeling alright enough to be able to fall asleep. So I put the half-burned cigarette out and snuggled back into bed. Finally, I could get some rest...

. . .

Five months later...

"Rosy, you alright?" Dee Dee waved his hand in front of my face to get my attention.

"Oh. Um...yeah." I stuffed another handful of popcorn in my mouth while we both watched the movie on the television. Vera was out with her friends tonight, so Dee Dee asked if I wanted to come stay the night. It was just like old times, when it was just me and him. "Yeah, I'm fine, why?"

"Just seems like theres somethin' on your mind, thats all." He shrugged. "Well I don't know, is there?"

"No Dee Dee, I'm fine. Really." I looked away from him quickly and ate some more popcorn.

He suddenly turned off the television and turned to me. "I don't believe you."

I chuckled. "Dee Dee, will you put the movie back on please?"

"Nope," he said and smiled. "Tell me what's wrong. Rosy, you've been quiet ever since ya got here! You cant sit here and tell me that nothing's goin' through your brain right now."

"Its just that...it's nice to be able to spend time with you again. We haven't been able to see eachother for months. You know, me working at Old Navy and you rehearsing with The Ramones and taking care of Vera, we just don't get to see eachother that much anymore." I looked around at the familiarity of Dee Dee's apartment. Everything about this place was comforting to me. "And...well, I missed you. I'm just taking it all in, enjoying every moment, you know? And who knows when we'll be able to chill like this again? Might be a while from now."

Dee Dee grinned and brushed my blonde hair back. I tried hard not to blush. I loved it when he played with my hair, but my face would always turn some pinkish color and it annoyed me. "Do you know you're blushing right now?"

"No, I didn't notice," I said sarcastically, but playfully at the same time. I nudged Dee Dee lightly in the shoulder and laughed. He put his arms around me and we cuddled together. It was moments like this that I loved. These were the times that I longed for, that I wanted back with Dee Dee. When we'd just sit here and hug eachother without saying any words. Because we knew...trying to describe a moment this special with mere words was just a waste of time.

If only he knew how I felt about him...but I could never tell him now. Now that he was married and all. It would be wrong, and selfish. But...still! I've loved Dee Dee for six years! Vera only started to take an interest in him when he started The Ramones and was actually someone cool. I loved him back when he was a dork, when no one knew his name. But I guess she won in the end, and it would make sense because she was more social and had a better chance with Dee Dee than I'd ever have in my whole lifetime. I was just too shy, I guess. And ugly. I was completely unattractive. What guy in their right mind would like me anyways? The thought almost made me laugh.

I had to say something. I just had to. Or all of this would mean nothing. Dee Dee holding me like this would mean nothing at all. I had to say SOMETHING. So I tried to conjure up what I'd say in my head, but nothing would come. "D-Dee Dee? Um...theres s-something, I-"

"Why are you stuttering? You look like you're nervous." His eyes stayed on me, reading me like a book. "Rosy, is there something wrong?"

My heart pounded faster. How the fuck was I going to tell him this? Maybe I could turn the television back on and turn it up so loud that if I shouted it he wouldn't hear me? No. That was a dumb idea. There would be no point in that. I just had to say it. Tell Dee Dee once and for all that I was in love with him. Yeah, he was a married man now, and he might not want to talk to me again afterwards, but I had to get it off my chest. I had to try, at least. "Well...the thing is...you know you're my best friend, right?"

He let out his sweet laugh that I loved so much. "Of course. You're mine too. I can talk to you about anything." He put his hand on my back and caressed it.

"Well, that's just it. I can talk to you about ANY problems I might be having and you wont judge me. And...I feel really comfortable around you. I don't feel like I have to put up a front for you, because you accept me as I am. And I'm a pretty weird person, you know? And...well, there's no point in beating around the bush anymore...might as well spit this out."

Dee Dee stopped rubbing my back and slowly put his hand down, his face completely serious. Did he already know what I was about to tell him? Well, even if he did, I couldn't stop now. I had to get this shit over with.

"Dee Dee, I-"

Suddenly, the door burst open, and a very drunk Vera slumped forward, struggling to keep her balance. Dee Dee got up and helped her to a chair.

"Babe, what did I tell you about comin' home drunk like that? You know how dangerous people can be out there late at night." He kissed her forehead. "They can take advantage of you."

Vera mumbled something I couldn't quite make out, but then she turned her head in my direction and in an instant we made eye contact. "What the fuck is she doing here?!"

I started to get up from the couch and gather my things. It was definitely time to go home.

"Sweetie, we were just spending some time together-"

"BULLSHIT!" Vera came up to me and slapped me in the face. "You listen to me, you whore. I don't want you around my husband ever again. I don't like you. Now GET OUT!"

"Vera! You cant talk to her like that!" Dee Dee's face was angry. He was sticking up for me. "She's my friend! And you were out getting wasted, what do you care anyhow?! We never spend that much time together anyways! You're always leaving the house, and you don't even come back until like five in the morning. I called Rosy and asked her if she wanted to watch a movie with me. We haven't been able to do anything together for almost six months! So mind your own damn business!"

I was completely shocked. I never thought that Dee Dee had it in him to stand up to his wife like that. At least not for me. I guess he really did care about me.

"Look, I just want her out the house now." Vera crossed her arms and looked into Dee Dee's eyes. I could almost feel her venom stabbing him.

He sighed and walked over to me. "I'm sorry Rosy."

"No no its alright, don't worry about it. I'll call you later, okay?" I said quietly.

"Yeah." He nodded and escorted me out the door.

I walked into my apartment feeling...weird. I should have been angry that Vera hit me and said those hurtful words to me. But I wasn't. The only thing I could think of was what Dee Dee said to her. He actually stuck up for me. Did that mean something...? No, come on, what was wrong with me? That didn't mean anything! He was just being a good friend...right?

I put the memory out of my mind for a little while, and listened to Fleetwood Mac for part of the night. I wasn't even aware of the hours I was probably wasting not sleeping. I wasn't tired, though...listening to my music helped to calm my nerves a little when my mind was crazy. Now if only I had some weed...then I'd be in paradise.

Suddenly, I heard the phone ring. I got up from my record-covered floor and made my way over to it. "Hello?"

"Rosy, its me. Can I come over for a while?"

"But Dee Dee, its..." I looked down at my watch. "Its two in the morning. What's wrong? You need something?"

"No, I don't need anything. I just figured I'd come over for a while since Vera's finally asleep. She wont know I'm gone, she sleeps like a rock." Dee Dee chuckled.

"Oh. Well...alright then. I'll just be here waiting for you, then."

"Okay, see you soon." The other line ended, and I hung up the phone. I picked up some of the records off the floor and put it on my couch, then I heated up some coffee for Dee Dee and I. I usually gave him some when he came over. Right when both mugs were steaming hot and ready, I heard a knock on my door. He was here.

I went to open the door. "Hey!"

"Hey, how's your face? Does it still hurt?" He took off his jacket and placed it on a chair.

"It feels okay I guess. Kinda sore, maybe."

"I'm sorry. I shouldn'a let her touch you-"

"Its okay, I knew she wasn't really in her right mind, so..."

He sniffed the air. "Hey, I smell coffee!"

I smiled and handed him a mug. "There you go."

For a couple of minutes we just sat on the couch listening to my Fleetwood Mac record in silence. I was actually really happy that he was here. At least I didn't have to spend the night alone anymore tonight. Sometimes I forgot what it was like to be alone because of Dee Dee. Because he was always around me...

"Let me look at your face," he said, reaching out his hand to my cheek.

I didn't resist. "I told you, I'm fine."

"That's bullshit. I know how hard she hit you." He turned my face slightly so he could have a better look.

"Well...it doesn't matter now." I gently pushed his hand away and smiled. "Its all in the past. And the swelling will go away...eventually."

Dee Dee suddenly began to stare at me intensely. He always looked at me numerous times, but there was something about the way he looked at me this time...it was different. "Ya know, I always admired how you keep a smile on your face all the time, even when things go wrong."

"Oh believe me, sometimes I'm not always smiling." For some reason, us beginning this new conversation started to bring back bad memories of me getting picked on in high school. "No. In fact, there was a time when I rarely smiled at all."

"Yeah, 'cause all those kids back in school, right?"

I found it amazing how he already knew what was running through my mind without me having to tell him. "Yeah...that was kind of a bad experience for me. People didn't like me for whatever reason." I looked up at him. "Dee Dee, am I a bad person?"

He laughed and took a sip from his mug. "Come on Rosy, you're bein' ridiculous. You know I don't think that. I mean, look. If it makes ya feel better, I was picked on in high school too. 'Cause I liked The Stooges. And not a lot of people liked them, you know?"

"Maybe we should've gone to the same high school."

"Yeah, I think so too." He smiled. "But it doesn't matter anymore, so don't let it get you down."

I suddenly put my mug down and embraced Dee Dee in a hug. "I love you..." Wait, oh my god! Did I actually just say that?! Oh no...

Dee Dee struggled away from me and looked me in the eyes. "What did you just say?" His voice was just above a whisper.

"Uh, nothing. I um..." My face was getting redder and redder by the minute. "I mean, I uh..."

"You just said that you love me."

"No no no, of course not. I said..." I looked around the walls, trying desperately to think of something. "I said 'I love juice.' Yeah, that's what I said."

"Rosy, we both know that's not what you just said."

Alright, it looked like I'd have to face this head-on. No more hiding. No more. "Okay Dee Dee, listen. I know that you're married and stuff, but...I've been meaning to tell you that for a long time now."

His face was surprised, but he didn't interrupt.

"I've been in love with you ever since I met you. You're my best friend, and I'd do anything for you. You're the only person in the world that I feel most at home with, and I can talk to you about anything." I paused and swallowed for a minute, then continued. "You have the most beautiful brown eyes I've ever seen, and I love your laugh. I love spending time with you doing things, and when you're away or with Vera, I feel empty inside. I always want you to turn right back around and come back to me. I like it when you mess with my hair or cuddle with me when we're watching TV. I like it when we smoke weed together and laugh at everything for no reason. I like it when you take me to The Ramones' rehearsals sometimes and let me see the fights you get into with Marky about what songs to play. I love just being around you, Dee Dee." My eyes filled with tears, and I couldn't bear to look at him anymore. "So, there. If you don't want to talk to me ever again, I understand."

I felt his hand turn my face towards his again. "Rosy...why didn't you tell me anything?"

I shrugged, wiping away some tears. "I didn't want to ruin everything between us. You're the only friend I have. If I lost you, I think I'd eventually die from loneliness." I managed to laugh a little at that last statement, then looked down and sniffled.

"Rosy, I'd never do that to you. I'm too nice for that, you know. I'm glad you told me." He shifted around for a minute. "I guess I should tell you something too..."

I looked up, my vision blurry. "Yeah?"

"I don't love Vera anymore."

I gasped. Was this all actually happening? "But...Dee Dee, she's your wife! What-"

"I did love her before, like when we first got married. But...we've grown apart, and I think she's cheating on me with some other guy. And she's really controlling! So I'm leavin' her soon."

I didn't know what to say to him. I wasn't really happy or sad, just kind of shocked. Or maybe I felt both, I don't know. "Well, I guess do whatever you have to do, but..." Then suddenly, Dee Dee took both of my hands in his.

"Do you wanna know the honest truth, Rosy?"

"Yeah, sure."

"I've waited for years for you to tell me that."

My blood went cold. "Wha...?" I seriously couldn't believe this.

"I remember when we first met. You were the most beautiful thing I'd ever seen. I'll never forget that day."

"Dee Dee..." I whispered. I didn't get the chance to say much else, because his lips suddenly came crashing onto mine. And we stayed that way, until we both broke away to finally breathe.

"Wow," he said.

"You can say that again." My mind was spinning. I couldn't believe this was actually happening. I almost wanted to believe that this was some sick, twisted dream that I'd wake up from. But if it was a dream, I never woke up from it... "So...you love me too?"

He laughed. "I always have."

"But then why did you marry Vera?"

"Well, because I thought you didn't like me that way, 'cause ya never said anything. So I guessed you just wanted to be friends."

"I still want to be your friend, but I want to be more than that too."

"I think we can make that work some kinda way." He smiled.

"Okay," I said and leaned forward to kiss him again. When I broke away from him we both had the same look in our eyes. That same look of desire, longing. We both knew what we wanted. Without having to convey anything, we just knew. And in that moment, Dee Dee started to take off my clothes, and I helped him with his. I took his hand and led him to the bedroom, where my life was never the same again. Dee Dee was gentle on me, since I was a virgin. He'd made love to girls like me before, girls with no experience. So he knew that he had to be careful with everything he did.

"I'm sorry," he said softly when I inhaled sharply and whimpered.

"No no, go deeper!" I pulled his body lower towards mine. When he penetrated me once more, I screamed. He silenced me by kissing me. Then he made his way down to my neck, and sucked while I whimpered some more. "Oh Dee Dee, oh oh...yes! Oh god, deeper. Please..."

The rest of the night was full of sweat, ejaculations, grunts and moans. And it wasn't until the sun was finally beginning to rise again that we stopped. By that time, we were completely exhausted. I was even too tired to think about the fact that Dee Dee and I actually had sex! But I knew that when my mind was right again, it would finally hit me like an atomic bomb, and I'd lose it...completely.

We lay next to eachother panting.

"That was amazing," Dee Dee said breathless.

"Oh, definitely." I struggled to sit up, then I turned to Dee Dee. "I'll never forget that."

"How is it that I could've made this mistake of marrying Vera..." He touched my face, "when the woman of my dreams was always here in front of me?"

I laughed and put my arms around him again. "I love you so much, Douglas Colvin."

"I love you too, Roisin."

After that, we were just too tired to function, and we both fell asleep, not waking up until hours later. This was going to be a night I always remembered. The night that my longtime dream came true. The night that Dee Dee Ramone became mine, once and for all.