A/N: Someone just reminded me of this little ficlet that I wrote a long time ago. We were having a tipsy little game of buzzword fic (similar to the random word ficlets here at the Sookieverse) over on the TB Wiki in the Eric thread. Well, this ensued and I realized I did not have it published here. Just some silly little fun.

As always, I don't own these characters, Charlaine Harris does, but I like to play in her sandbox.

"Evisceration Nation? You're serious?"

"What?" Eric looked at me completely perplexed. "What's wrong with Evisceration Nation? I like rhymes."

I slapped my hand to my forehead. Sometimes they just didn't get it.

"Sookie, what's wrong with that for the name of a band?"

"Eric, do you mean as in 'eviscerate'? As in to disembowel? As in to remove someone's internal organs, with all the blood and stuff?"

His eyes started glazing over, and I saw his fangs run out a bit. He nodded.

"Eeewww, Eric, don't you get all fangy about eviscerations!"

He smiled then and took a step forward.

"Eric. Eric. No! Eric, that's not sexy, that's just gross!"

Another step.

"Eric, I'm warning you . . . I'll, I'll . . . hit you with this . . . spatula . . . if you don't stop!"

His fangs ran all the way out.

"Promise? Where exactly will you be . . . smacking me . . . with that spatula?" He grabbed me by the behind. "Here? Or, here?" His hand moved down to my thigh, and began spreading my legs, and then he bent his head to my mouth.

Minutes later I ... [EDITED]

*************NOTE*******

SORRY FOLKS, A VERY SAD, SMALL MINDED PERSON WITH WHAT APPEARS TO BE A VERY EMPTY AND BORING LIFE, HAS TAKEN IT UPON THEMSELVES TO GO AFTER ALL STORIES THEY BELIEVE ARE INAPPROPRIATE FOR THIS SITE AND REPORT, SO THE STORIES WILL BE TAKEN DOWN.

EVISCERATION NATION WILL REMAIN HERE ON FFN. I WILL BE EDITING THE CHAPTERS, SO AS NOT TO OFFEND THE THOUGHT POLICE, AND BECAUSE I DO NOT WISH FOR ALL THE LOVELY WORDS OF ENCOURAGEMENT THAT HAVE BEEN OFFERED HERE OVER THE YEARS TO BE DELETED, BECAUSE THE OWNERS OF THIS SITE REMOVE EVERYTHING WHOLESALE, WITHOUT CHECKING ANYTHING OR WARNING TO THE AUTHORS. AFTER THE CUT THERE WILL BE ELLIPSES ... WHICH WILL INDICATE THAT THE REST OF THE CHAPTER HAS BEEN [EDITED] OUT, BECAUSE I AM NOT GOING TO SECOND GUESS WHAT WILL OFFEND THESE NINNIES ON ANY GIVEN DAY.

HOWEVER, ALL MY STORIES WILL REMAIN IN THEIR FULL, UNCENSORED FORMS ON ARCHIVE OF OUR OWN. SEE MY PROFILE FOR MORE INFORMATION