"Sweet heart, I think we found something you might be interested to find out," Haymitch stated.
"What a time machine? So that none of this ever happened. No war, no hunger games, nothing bad or at least as I horrible as our lives are!" I ranted.
"So basically the perfect life for everyone, nothing wrong, everything perfect. If that had happened we wouldn't be alive, do you think humans could ever accomplish that! We would have no humans, no life at all because humans make it a complete wreak of everything, you know that just as well as I do," he paused letting me think.
When I had a choice to make didn't I usually always make the wrong one. How many people died for me just because of my choices, Finnick, Boggs, Prim, Marvel, Glimmer, Gloss, Cato, Madge, Lavania, the avox girl, Seneca, Coin, Leeg 1, Leeg 2, Mitchell, Jackson, Homes, all the others I do not know that I have killed, and Cinna, he was the first and only real person that I could call my friend in the Capitol, if I hadn't been his girl on fire he might have still been alive. They may not have all been great or the best person that they could be but all those people dead because of me. Maybe indirectly or because I thought I was doing the right thing. They're all dead because of me, the Mockingjay, I thought, I didn't say it out loud because that would make him even more unbearable.
"We found something else, I wish we would have found a time machine also, but what we found is a surprise," Haymitch replied. I had forgotten for a moment that he was in the hunger games too, he had to see twice as many people die as I did and even 3 of his partners that he may have known from before the games.
I thought about it for a minute then said, "Haymitch, you know I have always hated surprises, especially after all I have been through," I reminded him.
"Yeah but I know you will love this surprise!" he replied happily which was not like him at all.
Okay this is not the Haymitch I know. I think I like the old one better, this one is too creepy, I thought with shivers running down my spine.
"So how do I find out what my surprise is?" I replied sullenly, thinking that a surprise from him can never be a good thing.
"Come with me to District 13 to find out," Haymitch offered, much to my horror.
I hadn't been to 13 since I assassinated Coin, I wonder if the inhabitants will kill me for killing their leader, even if I am, what did they say, insane at the time, I thought contemplating my choices.
"Trust me this isn't a surprise you would want to miss," Haymitch told me and I was surprised by the fact that he sounded like he was being honest, a first it seems like well I guess it's true there is a first for everything after all, I thought.
"Fine I'll go, just for you though," I added at the last second, even though we both knew it wasn't true, my curiosity getting the better of me.
"Yeah right," Haymitch snorted but left it at that surprisingly.
After a short ride to District 13, we were finally there the place I always hoped I would never return to, but like usual none of my hopes and dreams turn out to come true, I bitterly reflected.
"Before we go and you find out your surprise, I'm not in any mood for your attitude, that we did not tell you this but we are, and we just found this ourselves. You can say thank you to your favorite person in the world, for keeping this a secret from everyone," Haymitch warned.
"Who, Snow?" I asked wondering what more he could have done to ruin my life, even after he was dead.
"No, Coin," Haymitch bitterly responded, leaving me to believe that he hated Coin almost as much as I do. It's pointless hating someone who is dead, yet I hate her like I have never hated anyone. She took my reason to live she killed my one reason that I lived for before the Hunger Games, she killed Prim. She killed her for no reason, well maybe she did have a reason but it wasn't a good reason to take away the person I always protected. She killed her just to use me. I'm so sick and tired of people doing whatever they can to use me, what am I their puppet, I silently thought cursing Coin.
I accepted what he had to say with no thoughts as to what he requested, knowing I would yell at him later if there was reason.
He led me down stairs, farther than I thought was possible and down long dank tunnels for what I thought was four hours, we FINALLY got to Haymitch's "surprise". It turned out to be a door; where it led I did not know, Haymitch took forever finding the right key, I swear I saw him pass over the key a few times before I finally snapped at him to just put the key in the lock and get it over with.
"Calm down sweetheart," Haymitch snapped.
I entered the room as quickly as I could, not being able to take the suspense.
What I saw came as a shock to me, I saw the first person I could truly call my friend besides the obvious, Gale…I stormed outside and immediately spotted Haymitch, "Why didn't you tell me?" I screeched at Haymitch even though nobody could hear me except for Haymitch.
"Calm down sweetheart, I told you not to get upset we just found this. It makes sense if you think about it, why his death wasn't confirmed by Plutarch, why he wasn't publically executed, because he wasn't killed. He wasn't even taken by the Peacekeepers from District 2, he was taken by the District 2 rebels in place of the official Peacekeepers, and then taken to Coin," Haymitch informed me
"So…Lyme knew! She knew and didn't tell me!" I yelled.
"Yes, you know how she would do anything for District 2 to become rebels like every other district, Coin convinced her it was the only way. Plus how was she supposed to say it?" Haymitch explained.
"Why would Coin do that?" I asked feeling annoyed with her, first she killed Prim then this! No wait, she did this then she killed Prim. Who does she think she was controlling my life!
"Other than to make you feel demoralized you mean? If you hadn't seen that do you think you wouldn't have been distracted and scared would you have still made the same decisions that led Panem to full out rebellion," Haymitch questioned.
"No, I wouldn't have. So basically I was just another pawn in somebody's game!" I asked outraged at finding this out.
I walked back into the room with the only person who had understood me, the person who was locked in here forced to design and sew for me, I thought outraged, as he softly muttered, "Still the girl on fire I see or is it anger again that makes you seem so fiery?" Which got a soft chuckle from me, one of the few people that could do such a thing.
"Yes," I said, my anger slipping away, when I felt the genuine smile on my face, "How I have missed you, Cinna."