AN: Okay, honestly, there are a million other things I should be working on, but… I really wanted to write a BNHA chatfic. So here's this, I guess. No idea how long I want it to be, so updates will probably be sporadic (just like every other story I've ever written). Also, quick heads up – I do not intend to stick to the conventions that you might expect in a story like this one. This is my story, and I want it to be something that's uniquely mine. Don't expect the ships you'd usually see, don't expect the jokes and plot points you'd usually see. You've been warned. That said, please enjoy and let me know what you think! Kitty out.
Title: This Was Probably A Bad Idea
Summary: A group chat was probably a bad idea, and they definitely should've known better. It's too late now, though. In which Iida makes a group chat, and the kids learn that the world is a complicated place filled with complicated people.
Characters: Everyone
Pairings: Don't know, don't care
Warnings: Bad jokes, mentions of serious things every now and then, I'll try to stick to English memes for the sake of the readers but there might be a couple Japanese memes, weird headcanons, and more bad jokes
REALLY IMPORTANT WARNING: This is not your average chatfic. This is not a silly story – there are silly moments, yes, but ultimately what I'm doing is using a humorous format to discuss some pretty serious topics, especially ones that I frequently see handled poorly in fanfiction (or fiction in general). I'm going to try to start off light-hearted, but I need you to be aware that this story will have moments that are going to be unpleasant. If at any point you feel uncomfortable, feel free to backspace out of here. I won't judge you for it. That said, some moments are going to make you uncomfortable, and that is one hundred percent intentional. You don't have to keep reading, as I said, but if you do, I hope you take what I'm saying into account and maybe learn a thing or two. I am not trying to be preachy or whatever, but there are some things I need to vent about, and this is how I've chosen to do it. Warnings will be provided at the beginning of each chapter, and will be added to the tags whenever they appear. Proceed with caution.
Chat Names:
Midoriya – SMASHmouth & SMASHbinch
Uraraka – Urararock
Iida – Iidaho
Bakugou – 420BlazeIt
Kirishima – Dwayne Johnson
Kaminari – dank(i) memes
Ashido – Bubblegum Binch
Sero – serohno
Jirou – Less Bien
Asui – Ribbinch
Hagakure – Invisibinch
Todoroki – Five Peepee Man
Kouda – Ultimate Cinnabun
Mineta – Minoodle
Satou – cook the kiss
Aoyama – twinkle twunkle little star
Yaoyorozu – Yaoyoroppai & Yaoyorocha
Ojiro – Wax On, Jack Off
Tokoyami – Tara
Shouji – Tentacoolio
Camie – #LitBeeyatch
Chapter One – The Nightmare Begins
-Group Chat created-
Iida: Fellow classmates!
Ojiro: what have you done
Hagakure: ooh, group chat! :D
Iida: Indeed! After everything that's happened over the past year or so, I thought we could use a place to relax!
Bakugou: dis shit be lit
Midoriya: Kacchan?
-Bakugou has added Utsushimi to the chat-
Bakugou: lol no way
-Bakugou has changed names-
Todoroki: his phone was stolen
420BlazeIt: I hate this world and everyone in it
420BlazeIt: how do i fix this wtf
Utsushimi: 1 sec fam
-Utsushimi has changed names-
#LitBeeyatch: yo what up u.a.
420BlazeIt: i am going to murder you
#LitBeeyatch: nah u love me lol
Todoroki: oh no wait pllndslanflsaf
Midoriya: ?
-Todoroki has changed names -
Five Peepee Man: this is my life now
420BlazeIt: kdslnfdnsfldshg
420BlazeIt: ok yeah I love you
#LitBeeyatch: told u
Kirishima: owo what's this
Kirishima: hang on one sec
-Kirishima has changed names-
Dwayne Johnson: owo what's this
420BlazeIt: this is camie she's amazing
Uraraka: who and how
#LitBeeyatch: i made fun of todoroki lmao
420BlazeIt: it was beautiful
-Ashido has changed names-
-Kaminari has changed names-
-Jirou has changed names-
-Sero has changed names-
Bubblegum Binch: bakusquad assemble!
dank(i) memes: yo does the squad have a new member
420BlazeIt: if she's not in the squad then there isn't a squad
#LitBeeyatch: sure fam i'll be in ur squad
Less Bien: welcome to the squad i guess
serohno: when did you join?
Less Bien: i have no idea i just woke up here
-Uraraka has changed names-
Iida: oh no
Urararock: ohhhhh yes
Dwayne Johnson: hey! idea thief
Urararock: go cry about it
Dwayne Johnson: maybe i will ;^;
Less Bien: class cinnabuns bout to throw down
-Kouda has changed names -
Ultimate Cinnabun: :'(
Less Bien: 2/3 class cinnabuns bout to throw down
Ultimate Cinnabun: ^_^
-Iida has changed names-
Iidaho: Hagakure! It is inappropriate to use your Quirk to steal the belongings of others
420BlazeIt: go pee her pants
#LitBeeyatch: :O
Five Peepee Man: you're a terrible influence on him
#LitBeeyatch: u just jealous
Five Peepee Man: i'm mostly concerned for your safety
Five Peepee Man: you're effectively using him as a pillow
420BlazeIt: it's not her fault that i'm fucking gorgeous
#LitBeeyatch: tru dat
Dwayne Johnson: bakubro do u have a gf?
420BlazeIt: i hang out with a girl and you decide we're fucking? i'm allowed to have friends of multiple genders
Bubblegum Binch: tbh i'm just amazed he's capable of admitting he has friends
420BlazeIt: wtf?
420BlazeIt: when the hell have i ever denied having friends?
Bubblegum Binch: …actually i don't think you ever have my bad
-Midoriya has changed names-
Iidaho: why
SMASHmouth: EVERYONE ELSE WAS DOING IT AND I'M BAD WITH PRESSURE
420BlazeIt: that's the dumbest fucking thing i've ever seen
SMASHmouth: kacchan you say that about everything i do
420BlazeIt: i'm not talking about the things you do
420BlazeIt: just you in general
dank(i) memes: todoroki please come back soon midoriya just got burned
SMASHmouth: maybe but at least it was only a verbal burn, not a physical one
SMASHmouth: this time
Urararock: bakugou's gonna need some ice too
-Hagakure has changed names-
Invisibinch: mina we da binch squad
Bubblegum Binch: hell yeah binch
-Asui has changed names-
Ribbinch: can i be in the squad
Bubblegum Binch: here comes dat binch!
Ribbinch: o shit waddup
-Mineta has changed names-
Minoodle: this was all i could think of
Ribbinch: …seriously?
Minoodle: i was hungry! and also i was eating noodles
Minoodle: bc i was hungry
Five Peepee Man: now i'm hungry
SMASHmouth: you're always hungry
Five Peepee Man: well you're always thirsty
Five Peepee Man: i think you've stared at literally everybody's ass at some point
Minoodle: even mine?
SMASHmouth: leave my lonely pansexual ass alone
Less Bien: i didn't even know mineta had an ass
Minoodle: i know that was supposed to be a burn
Minoodle: but i also didn't know i had an ass
Ribbinch: better hurry up with that ice todoroki
Iidaho: Actually! Cold water is generally better for burns than ice is.
Five Peepee Man: i was gonna say that
Five Peepee Man: eventually
Five Peepee Man: because i definitely already knew that obviously
-Tokoyami has changed names-
-Shouji has changed names-
Tara: i don't know what's going on but it looks like a disaster
Tentacoolio: please send help
SMASHmouth: ?
Minoodle: lmao shouji what's up
Tentacoolio: he's reading my immortal and he's making me read with him
Tara: he questioned my goffickness
Less Bien: jfc this is the third time this month
#LitBeeyatch: starkits prophecy was better
Tara: u take that back u prep bitch
#LitBeeyatch: lmao u wish
Urararock: do i want to know?
Ribbinch: no
Urararock: ok i trust you
Bubblegum Binch: we can always trust our froggy friends
Ribbinch: last week ashido drank apple cider, thought it was alcohol, and tricked herself into thinking she was drunk
Bubblegum Binch: WE CAN NEVER TRUST OUR FROGGY FRIENDS
-Yaoyorozu has changed names-
Yaoyoroppai: excUSE
Iidaho: MINETA!
Minoodle: it wasn't me!
Minoodle: i mean i approve but it wasn't me
Less Bien: :3c
Iidaho: My apologies, Mineta.
Iidaho: JIROU!
-Yaoyorozu has changed names-
Yaoyorocha: Much better.
Urararock: …
Yaoyorocha: What? I like tea.
Urararock: that sounds like our ship name tbh
Dwayne Johnson: it kinda does lol
dank(i) memes: no? it doesn't?
dank(i) memes: it's yaomomo's surname and your first that's not how ship names work
Less Bien: yeah it would be like momocha, momoocha, ochamomo, yaoraraka, yaoura, urayao, yaoyoraka, urarozu, or something like that
Yaoyorocha: why is this something you think about
SMASHmouth: because it's adorable? i just want my bestie to be happy
Urararock: 3
SMASHmouth: 3
Aoyama: then perhaps you should date her, mon ami
SMASHmouth: i can't i'm too busy staring at everyone's asses
Five Peepee Man: can confirm
-Satou has changed names-
cook the kiss: is midoriya being thirsty again
Tara: yup
Urararock: yeah
Aoyama: so it would seem
-Aoyama has changed names-
twinkle twunkle little star: but who is this camie?
Minoodle: remember the girl that flashed midoriya during the license test but then it turned out that wasn't really her but an imposter from the league? well this is the real one and she's friends with bakugou somehow
twinkle twunkle little star: …oh yes that explains it
#LitBeeyatch: yo what up
Ribbinch: dis boi
Ribbinch: dat boi
Ribbinch: DAB BOI
Five Peepee Man: isn't that the fire guy from the league?
Urararock: sfniosdhfalkhfne
Urararock: yes
SMASHmouth: i thought his name was jknsflbsagdo;
SMASHmouth: yes that was it i will never disagree with uraraka again because she is the nlgwb;wul
SMASHmouth: r u d e
Urararock: that's what you get binch
SMASHmouth: …
-SMASHmouth has changed names-
SMASHbinch: :)
Invisibinch: only one left
Ojiro: no
serohno: everyone else is doing it dude
Ojiro: if everyone else jumped off a bridge
Ojiro: no don't answer that
Ojiro: the answer's still no
Invisibinch: shit he locked his door
420BlazeIt: maybe bc he knows you
Ultimate Cinnabun: :)))))))
-Ojiro has changed names-
Wax On, Jack Off: how and why
Less Bien: holy shit
Ultimate Cinnabun: :))))))
cook the kiss: it's always the quiet ones
AN: I hope you enjoyed this absolute disaster! Don't worry, things aren't going to get angsty for a bit. I really do want this to be mostly light-hearted, so I'm going to try and limit the serious stuff. That said, it will be there. Anyway, thank you so much for reading, and please let me know what you thought! Kitty out.