Disclaimer: I don't own Final Fantasy X

Hello everybody! This is my newest oneshot series, 'Twin Eyes and Guardians'. It's just a series of unrelated (unless explicitly said otherwise/extremely heavily implied) one shots that you can dip in and out of - skip the ones you don't like the look of, read them all, only read the first and last: whatever suits you!

I'll be posting every Sunday (I know I'm slightly late today - teething issues, sorry!) But I really do hope that you'll join me on this adventure.

Enjoy!

017. Left Behind

I felt so stranded, like one half of an apple cleft in two.

He was gone. It was like my other half was missing.

It seems so silly that I placed so much value on him during my pilgrimage. I'd never known him - never even seen him - before the day I set out from Besaid, and yet just a while later I made him one of the people I'd trust with my life. And, with the death that was quickly approaching. Perhaps I was just asking for trouble. What was a young girl like me to do when she a handsome young man befriended her, anyway?

I can remember it like yesterday. I'd come out of the cloister, so tired from winning my first summon; I was all sweaty and dishevelled - that I'm sure of. And yet, here was this man I'd never known, willing to catch me as I fell. I remember thinking he looked quite beautiful, and how much like a man from my dreams he looked like. And the voice of the faith sounded strong in my mind still, 'Take care in who you surround yourself with. Joy may strike, once and twice, and sorrow will follow. But life will always prevail.' I remember thinking at that time that perhaps this was the joy the Fayth spoke of. I think I was right. Even though I walked closer to the end with every step, for a while, I couldn't have been happier.

He was a man from another world, another time period entirely. Another universe, it seemed. His inflection was slightly different to those who surrounded me in Spira. He wore different clothes and even described the food that he ate as 'different in every way'. Perhaps I was drawn to him because of that - the mystery and intrigue he brought with him. Perhaps, in turn, that's why he was drawn to me.

He helped me through so much; kidnaps, terror, a doomed marriage - and I never even told him what price we'd all have to pay at the end of it. I'll never stop feeling guilty for not being the one to tell him. He deserved to hear the words from my mouth, the one he was protecting and the one who enlisted his protection in the first place. Or maybe this has all given me a bolstered sense of self-importance. But I know for certain that since the moment he expressed that he didn't know what was due to happen, I wanted to tell him. As always, I was too nervous and too shy. Like a child, admitting to a wrong they'd done. Perhaps in a sense, it was exactly like that - we two were barely even adults back then, only just broken out of the black void of childhood than being an orphan left you, for neither of us had anyone to guide us. Maybe that was why we grew so close; we understood each other more than most in this world - Spira knows we both understood the pressure of living up to our father's legacies.

But no matter what we mutually understood or what attracted each to the other, he's gone; and I'm left behind. It was so numbing at first -the mantra of 'left behind' not really penetrating the numbness before it flamed into a spluttering light of anger. But it didn't last long - it was gone before the white-hot heat of anger properly hit me. And the sorrow sunk in. But I am still somewhat myself, I think. I was strong, for all the others. Just as I have always been. I was a survivor of Sin and that made me a hero of sorts. We all were, and we all had to be role models for others to look up to. Those of us that were left had to be. He was gone, free from all bonds of responsibility and pain and anger, and love and joy and happiness. I had to put on the mask of bravery. I had to smile like we'd once practised. I had to laugh but without the hollowness and shallowness of when we'd practised. But all I'm really left with are questions, memories, theories, and the vague aftertaste of emotions I can barely cling on to.

I have to live on for the others. I have to move on despite being left behind.

Please review if you've got time and follow for more. Thanks!