T or D, G?

PKO Version

At Sasuke's clan's neighborhood, all the genins-and chuunin were sitting in a circle.

"Why are we here?" asked Naruto.

"I'm hungry," complained Chouji.

"This is too troublesome…" muttered Shikamaru.

"WOULD YOU PEOPLE SHUT UP!" yelled Sasuke.

"Ya didn't hafta snap…" muttered Naruto.

"Anyway, we're playing truth or dare."

"See ya…" said Gaara, Shikamaru, and Neji, walking off.

"You're not going anywhere."

Sasuke pushed a button and the entire Uchiha estate was barred everywhere-the exits, the area above the estate, the bathrooms-okay, not the bathrooms, but there was no escape.

"F-" the three boys were stopped from cursing by Sasuke yelling, "MY TURN!" So he took his turn.

"Naruto. T or D."

"False! I mean dare!"

"The dare is…die, bi-"

Sasuke was interrupted by Lee yelling, "OOOH I'M TELLIN'" which was followed by Neji saying, "Shut up Lee".

"Why don't you make up a dare up a dare that you could actually do," Naruto shot back.

"Say what you wish. Anyway, I dare you to not eat ramen for a week."

"Crap." (This as you probably know is only a substitution for Naruto's real language) "Anyway, Gaara, truth or dare?"

"Blood."

"No! Truth or Dare!"

"Dare…fool."

"Give Lee a hug!"

"What the f-" his cursing was cut off by Lee screaming in terror.

Gaara punched Lee in the face and for a split second put an arm around him.

"Hey fatso. Truth or dare," Gaara said, pointing to Chouji.

"I'm not fat! I'm fluffy!"

"Shut up and answer the question. Wait-did I just contradict myself?"

"No crap, idiot."

"Shut up Shukaku."

"Truth!" said Chouji.

"Sissy…" muttered Sasuke. "Wimpy fatso…"

"AHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA! Fatso! That's a good one…" said Naruto.

"Shut up Naruto," said Sasuke.

"Fine! Dare!" said Chouji angrily.

"You have to go on a two-week all-expense-paid cruise with Richard Simmons…doing exercises."

Chouji started sobbing and walking off when a curly-haired queer rushed at him. Chouji quickly ran back inside with everyone else.

"Not so hasty, fatso," said Gaara.

"My turn. Shikamaru! T or D!" said Chouji.

"Of course, you had to pick your special friend," said Gaara.

"Truth," said Shikamaru, standing by it even as Naruto taunted him. He continued, "Naruto. Look. Everyone who picked dare had something bad happen to them."

"Okay, do you like Ino?"

Shik had to think through this. If he said yes, she would slap him for hitting on her. If he said no, she would hit him with the frying pan for lying. If he said maybe she'd grab his shoulders and shake the answers out of him, leading to one of the above.

"Can I use a lifeline?"

"You can use Ino!"

Ino, taking some sort of offense, beat Chouji so hard upside the head, you could swear she left a concussion.

Well he's out of it so I-"

He was interrupted by Gaara poking Chouji and saying, "Hey. Why are you still here? Off you go, fatso." Gaara then shoved Chouji out the door and right into Richard Simmons' arms. Luckily, we do not have to see any more as Gaara closed and locked the door. "Carry on," said Gaara.

"Anyway, Ino, truth or dare?" asked Shikamaru.

"Dare."

"Give Sakura a hug and say, 'You're my bestest friend in the whole wide world'!"

Ino did it and hit Sakura with the frying pan.

"Okay. Sakura, truth or dare?" asked Ino.

"Truth, Ino-pig," said Sakura.

"What is your most embarrassing moment?"

"When I jumped on Naruto to save him from Zabuza."

"Best moment of my life… 'Cause I know I could have easily dodged that sword."

Sakura avoided general eye contact and blushed just as a kunai knife whizzed by, one millimeter away from her head. Coming from Hinata's direction.

"Umm…Sasuke-kun! Truth or dare?"

"Dare."

"Kiss me."

"Bullshi-"

Luckily, the dare and Sasuke's cursing were stopped by Naruto, Ino, and Lee.

"Okay…Truth I guess…"

"Do you loooooooooooooooove me!"

"You wish…loser."

"Wow…he's a bigger jerk than me…"

"You're right Neji."

"Shut up Lee."

"Anyway, White Eyes. Truth or dare?"

"Dare, you comma-eyed freak."

Sasuke was obviously PO'd and Neji expected the worse…as usual.

"How many fingers am I holding up?"

Everyone was shocked. 'What the crap?' was the question on everyone's minds. Then Sasuke sat on his hands, fingers out. Under his rear were eight fingers. Then everyone understood. Neji was going to look queer.

"Crap."

But nevertheless Neji did it, flinching in disgust every now and then.

"Seven."

Then Sasuke showed his hand and said, "Ha!". Contrary to his self-confident chuckle, on his hand were seven fingers.

"What the crap?"

"Henge no Jutsu."

"Really?" asked Naruto.

"No, dumb arse. I've got heavenly powers."
"Coooooooool! Angel Neji!"

"Shut up Lee. Anyway, Tenten, truth or dare?"

"Dare."

"I dare you to say, 'Neji is superior and not a jerk' 10 times while mentally banishing any thought of love for me."

"I don't lie…often. Pick someone else, master jerk."

"Okay." Then he got a face so maniacal Gaara got jealous. "Hinata, dare or dare?"

"T-truth, Neji nii-san-sama! Please give me mercy!"

"You have to d-what the crap?" he paused and then smirked. "Do you like Naruto?"

The cork on Gaara's gourd started jerking. No one's gonna be as evil as him.

"I gotta pee!" said Naruto, rushing to the UNBARRED Uchiha bathroom.

"Yes…" muttered Hinata. "Hmmm...Temari. Truth or dare?"

"Dare."

"Catch your fan on fire!"

Gaara was completely and utterly ticked and everyone else was surprised.
"I'll help...kekeke…" said Sasuke.

So Sasuke did a hand seal and shot fire out of his mouth directly on course. But since his fire techniques never work, the fire dodged to the right of the fan and when it passed the fan it went back to the original course and caught the UNBARRED Uchiha drapes on fire. Incidentally, the fire technique he used was Mythical Fire Flower, and the shurikens slashed right through her fan and went on to chop off the hangers on the burning cloth, causing them to fall on Temari's hair. Each ponytail she had was burnt off instantly. She then fell on the floor, catching the UNBARRED Uchiha rug on fire. Gaara quickly used a sand technique to put out the fire, finding a new way to beat Sasuke. But even in all the flaming insanity, the fan was not charred at all.

Through her weeping Temari muttered, "K-kankurou, truth or dare?"

"Dare."

"Put your hand in Karasu's mouth and make it bite you."

"Aw crap… I hate when you vent…"

Knowing of her venting, he decided to go through with it anyway. And because of the end result it was probably best he kept his gloves on.

"Fu-oh. Dog freak. Truth or dare?"

"I'm Kiba! Dare!"

"Beat up your stupid dog."

Again, venting of anger. But nevertheless he started pounding Akamaru…just as Naruto entered the room.

"I can't leave the room for more than five minutes without you going crazy, can I?" he scolded.

"Anyway, Shino, T or D?" asked Kiba.

"'D'"

"Don't mock me. Mass murder all the bugs in your arm!"

Shino did so…sobbing. I think.

"Sissy…"

"Lee…"

"Truth! Just to be safe!"

"Do you love Gai?"

"I have the right to remain silent!"

"Shut up Lee. No you don't."

Lee started sobbing. "You're hurtful, Neji! But I do love Gai…but not that way!"

Then Neji and Tenten turned away from Lee and started chuckling.

"Tenten! T or D!"

"Dare!"

"Give Neji a big old hug!"

"YAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAY! Thank you so much Lee!"

Then Neji started crying. I'd be sad too, knowing what she was going to do. She grabbed him in a crushing death grip. As we leave, we hear Neji's painful screaming of "Ow! You're crushing my spleen!"

To be continued in Chapter 2,

"Insomnia, the Terrible Game Night!"