Disclaimer: I only own Lolita Monroe and her other alias' and persona and the situations I (the author) place her in.

Note: Idea is based on other thought up characters in my head and "Ain't no Other Man but You" music video by Christina Aguilera. Also people I like such as Sirius and Dumbles have not passed on. So there J.K. chew on that for a while.

Land of The Tea Cozies…Whatever the hell those are…

The voices beyond the velvet curtain indicated that we had a full house on our hands. I was ready, my left red pump pinched my toes a little, my sequined silver dress clung to my body like a second skin, my face was powered, my lips a sultry rose red matching the flower in my coifed brown hair. The scene was set, straight out of a 1920's club. It was show time. I grab the mike and smile seductivly as the curtian slowly begins to open...

5…4…3…2…1…

Good Evening Ladies and Gentleman it's an honor to have your presence here tonight. So with out further distraction, it is my extreme pleasure to introduce the esteemed, talented and gorgeous: LOLITA MONROE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

BEEP……….BEEP………BEEP………BEEP

I jumped awake and with as much grace of a raging hippo I chucked my alarm clock against the far wall. I love that dream, I never seem to get past the announcer thought. I rolled back over deciding to get back to my much needed rest. My brown eyes pop back open and my heart sinks.

SHIT. Today was May 22nd. SHIT.

Now to you, dear reader the date is fairly insignificant if you didn't understand why I suddenly feel like destroying more that just my alarm clock. Today was the day that little Lola Monroe was being transferred to cheery ole' England land of tea cozies deranged mad men. I climbed grumpily out of bed and made my way to the shower. I guess that at the age of 25 the American Wizarding Government thought I was too old to help against the ever growing Dark Lord threat, in America at least. With the fall of Britain's government in 2000 it all kinda went to the dogs after that. Voldemort had decided to extend his wrath not only in the Americas but The Netherlands and the rest of Western Europe.With a tired sigh I roll out of bed and head for the shower.

Steping out of the shower I start towel drying my long brown hair. Walking to my closet I smile. Quirky fashion was my unfortunate downfall. When it came to shopping I was a girl through and through. Pulling on my Spiderman little-boy like undies on and a comfy sports bra, I decided against shocking the uptight British folk to much at first so I settled on a little plain white tee shirt with a cute grey pinstriped paperboy vest , upon deciding that I grabbed a pair of black long shorts and my favorite pair of chucks. With a slight flick of my Willow wand my hair was in messy braided pigtails. Checking the clock it read 8:42 am. Shit, I was going to be late again. Since the war in Iraq the security for muggle airports had gone up 10 fold. My flight left at 12 sharp but if I didn't get there soon I knew I would miss my flight. Shrinking the rest of my clothes into my overnight bag I ran downstairs and into my waiting taxi.

I was sitting in my seat, we had been in the air for about 45 minutes when I could finally pull my headphones on, The Black Eyed Peas started to bump in my headphones, when my thoughts drifted to my re-assignement letter. I was to be working under the famed Albus Dumbledore along side his group of resistance fighters called The Order of Phoenix. I was to replace the resident cook, the letter said that the lady decided to spend as much time with her family as she could, I was also supposed to be the house and occupants added security. Thank god I had experience in both fields. So with a sarcastic here goes nothing I popped a Dramamine and closed my eyes.