Disclaimer: I do not own Metalocalypse, Dethklok, or any of the mentioned RPG games.
"Could today be any more boring?" Pickles sighed, cradling his face in his hands. He and the rest of Dethklok sat at a table in front of the Duncan Hills Coffee shop as they regularly did.
"I knows, right?" Toki agreed, stirring his now cold coffee around in its mug.
"Yeah," Nathan added, "Theres, like, nothing new around here. Even the stupid douche bags that ogle us are the same." He glared darkly at the ugly people who made it their daily chore to look just like their favorite member of Dethklok.
"Whats is up withs yous, Murdersface?" Skwisgaar asked the bass player who chose not to join his band mates in complaining. His gaze was fixed curiously on a building to the right of the coffee shop.
"Thatsch new." He said, tilting his head to the side.
Everyone else looked too. The store had a green neon sign designed in old English that read "Gamer's Gathering".
"I wonder what kind of store that is." Pickles said.
"Maybes that is a stores whats you can buys video games from!" Toki, being the biggest video gamer in the group, exclaimed.
"We ain't got nothing bettersch to do," Murderface stated, "scho let'sch check it out."
They all got up from the table simultaneously, not bothering to push their seats back in, and walked over to the shop.
Walking in, they saw that the store was small and extremely crowded. On either side of the store, a glass display case was placed, showing off many different types of card games and tiny figurines. Almost every inch of the walls were lined with over-priced packaged action figures, figurine paints, and boxed collectables. The floor space was taken up by magazine stands holding comics and various manga. Above a small white door in the very back of the room hung a dry-erase that read:
Tournaments Today:
Marvel Hero Clix
Magic: The Gathering
RPG Today:
Dungeons & Dragons
Marvel Super Heroes
"Can I help you, sirs?" Said a voice from behind the glass display case to the far right. The group turned to him. He was very scrawny, had unkempt dark brown hair, and beady bespectacled eyes. His voice was annoyingly nasally.
"What is this place?" Nathan asked, scrutinizing the man's appearance.
"Exactly what the sign says!" The man answered.
"Buts I do nots sees no games!" Toki chirped.
"That's because this place isn't that kind of game store."
"Well, whatsch thosche gamesch over there?" Murderface asked, pointing a thick finger over at the sign.
"Ah!" The man looked delighted to ask such a question, "Those are tournaments a held for my regular customers. See, I moved my store here to attract more people—by the way, you all look familiar."
"Were Dethkloks." Skwisgaar said, offended that the man didn't know who they were.
"Oh, the metal band…I'm more of a rap person."
Everyone gave him a look of disgust, and huddled together.
"I don't like that guy!" Nathan whispered, "Let's leave!"
"But I wants to plays a games!" Toki whined.
"Yeah," Pickles chimed in, "That 'Dungeons and Dragons' thing caught my eye."
"I've never played a RPG, whatever that is." Murderface confessed.
"I thinks it means 'Roles Playing Games'," Toki answered, "That's what 'Final Fantasys' is."
"I wants to plays the dragons games!" Skwisgaar said, folding his arms across his chest.
"Fine!" Nathan agreed, obviously defeated, "We'll play one game and then we're outta here!"
They all turned back to the cashier.
"We want to play 'Dungeons and Dragons'," Nathan announced.
An obnoxious grin spread across the little man's face. "Follow me," He said, leading them to the little white door.
They stepped over the threshold to find themselves in a much bigger room. Rectangular tables were spaced out everywhere and were occupied by many people (mostly teenage boys and older men) who were engaged in many types of card games and figurine games.
"Hey, Roger!" The cashier called to someone in the back of the room, "We've got us a group of noobs."
A man slightly taller than the cashier stood up and walked up to them. He was an older man, he wore large glasses, a blue X-Men t-shirt, and had "ROD" tattooed on his left forearm.
"Well hello there!" He said in a very friendly Southern accent. Dethklok nodded at the man.
"This is Roger," The cashier said, "He'll be your DM."
"DM?" Nathan asked, "What the hell is that?"
"Dungeon Master," Roger explained.
"Ohs nos!" Toki squealed, "Yous nots gonna tortures us, are yous?"
Roger and the cashier laughed. "No!" He said, smiling, "That's not what a Dungeon Master does! Come over here and I'll explain everything."
The band followed Roger to the table in the very back. There were only three other men, with stapled papers and figurines in front of them, sitting there. They exchanged devilish grins as they saw the newcomers taking places around the table. Roger sat at the head of the table, his face hidden by a folder-like screen that had a montage of demonic creatures, screaming women, and warriors finding treasure on the back. He folded the screen up and sat it down on top of a stack of papers and maps.
"Now," Roger began, "These gentlemen here," He indicated the three men, "are Carl," his head looked a bit too big for his shoulders, "Isaac" who looked a bit mousy with his big nose and eyes, "and Albert," who had very untidy blonde hair.
"You guys are Dethklok, aren't you?" Carl said very obnoxiously. He had that annoying know-it-all attitude about him.
"Welcome to our campaign," Albert said in a low voice.
"Anyway," Roger continued, "Do you have any idea what D&D is?"
The group shook their heads.
"Well, it is a game developed by Gary Gygax back in 1974. This game takes a great amount of imagination and thought. Being the DM, I will be your eyes and ears—"
"Sos it's nots on a TV screens?" Skwisgaar asked.
"No it's not," Roger said patiently, "Now, as I was saying, I will be your senses. I will tell you what you see, what you hear. It is up to me to take you on an adventure. You will face many a foe, collect countless treasures, and acquire many special powers based on the race and class you choose to be."
Everyone stared at him in awe.
"Wow-wee!" Toki exclaimed, "We gets to gos on an adventures!"
"Now," Roger pulled out a laptop and a portable printer "We will begin creating characters. Who would like to go first?"
"I guess I will." Nathan said.
Forty-five minutes later, everyone's characters were made. Nathan's character was a human, and his class was Fighter; Skwisgaar was a high elf, and his class was Fighter and Mage; Toki was a half-elf whose class was Mage and Cleric; Murderface was a Dwarf and his class was Fighter. Pickles, however, took the most unusual character was a half-dragon, and his class was a Fighter and Theif.
"Alright," Roger said, "Now that we've all got our characters established, and I have explained the rules to you, it is time that we start our adventure…"
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A/N: So what do you think? I have just gotten back into playing D&D (the ORIGINAL, not the new shit) and I was inspired to do a fanfic on it! I think it's got promise...