Hi ,guys…..It took all the courage I ever had just to post this story online….This is my first fanfic and you may laugh at me for my bad grammar and English is not my mother tongue and I had never read more than a 5-paged-story till last year. Twilight is the first novel I ever read and the whole saga shaked my life to its core.I started to become more of a reader after finish reading Twilight.I'm not afraid of bad reviews and you are free to criticize me for my bad command of language…well, criticism are made for improvement's sake,right? I will promise to improve as improvement in my writing skills is one of the main reason I wrote this story… Pls forgive me for all the grammar's mistakes I did….
Ok,lets get on our business…I was kind of pissed when Bella kissed Jacob and suddenly realized she is in love with him as well…..although it did not affect Bella and Edward relationship,because Bella knew that she can't live without Edward but Stephenie did not write the fully extend of the intense love between Edward and Bella,and how Bella will really crumble if Edward leaves her again in Eclipse….I'm also bothered when Jacob said he will be waiting in the wings and Bella told him that he could keep the spare option if he wants….For me,I wanted Bella and Edward 's love to be more profound and irreplaceable ….I don't want Bella to keep another spare option and turns to lean on another shoulder that easily if Edward fails her(although I never think he will) …so I think the end of the eclipse is kind of Jacob-centric even after Bella had chosen Edward over Jacob,simply because Bella didn't clearly show how much she loves Edward and the pain she would have suffer if Edward leaves her life again……well,this is a what-if fan fic ,set after Jacob and Bella's kiss .What if Edward wasn't that confident about Bella's love for him anymore after finding out that Jacob and Bella kissed?What if he thought Bella loved Jacob more than she loved him?What if he decided to erase himself from Bella's option list just to ease Bella pain so that she won't have to suffer or feel guilty for hurting either him or Jacob?What if he decided to leave as he is convinced that his departure for this time won't hurt her as much as last time,just because she had Jacob Black now and he truly believed that Jacob is better for her than him? How will Bella reacts?Can she really move on and accept the love from her second love?
As much as I might wish
Preface
I walked back silently to the tent ,not knowing what to think or what to expect .Curiosity burned into my brain ,as if they were going to burst out violently like an erupting volcano .Had Jacob and Bella had enough time to talk? Was this the best time to return to the tent? Had Jacob succeed in convincing her how much of a monster I am ,and how much better or healthier he is for her than I am? Had Bella decided to leave me after succumbing her feelings to Jacob and realize that she loves him more than she loves me? The stabbing pain that festered in my chest which accompany the thoughts of her leaving me was so powerful ,that it overshadowed every other sense , including my burning curiosity .I wonder how my world will collapse if my worries has crawl out from my chaotic state of mind and really hit me hard as a reality .But none of these matter to me ,I did not worry about what I'm going to live with after the reason of my life leaves me ,or how much pain it will cause me after her departure from my arms .What was my pain compared to her happiness after all? There was no doubt that I will let her go and trade anything-everything for her happily-ever-after , even if it costs me my life or my ever-present heart.
I caught my breath as soon as I heard another sound besides her familiar , thumping heartbeat when I was getting closer and closer to the tent ,the place where my heart was held. It was a series of heart-rending sobs ,my angel ,my Bella was hurting .She was crying .Suddenly, my silent heart was fluttering furiously and a very strong unknown human emotion washed through my whole body .I wiped my face ,as if to wipe away the invisible tears that had silently overflowed my eyes at the moment I heard her crying ,as if I could ever cry, as if the source of the relentless sound of sobs is me myself ,but of course ,I could never ever cry ,I am not human ,that's why I'm never enough for her ,that's why I'm always the ultimate reason behind her tears .I'm truly a monster that stole away her life.
Tq for reading it......pls read and review....do tell me what do you feel about the whole idea of the story....will update as soon as possible...tq