Disclaimer: Although AU, these characters don't belong to me.
Summary: Crushed by her boyfriend's unexpected betrayal, she ran to her best friend, only to discover his long repressed secret. Prequel to Where It All Starts. Please R&R.
First Cut is the Deepest
Fleeting images of them locked together in a passionate embrace, his lips firmly sealed across hers repeatedly flashed though my mind as I stumbled through the raging storm; violent pangs of guilt, remorse, and regret flared through my heart every time my feet touched the ground while attempting to out run the pain. Screams of anguish erupted from my throat as I blindly plunged into a bleak void of denial and darkness, the haunting voice of my conscience berating me for my rash decisions.
Jason warned you.
Why didn't you listen?
He warned you.
Catching sight of his house looming in the distance, like a beacon of light, I increased my pace. Hurrying up the walkway, I pounded on the door, which abruptly flew open to reveal the six-foot figure of my best friend. Speechlessly, he stared at me in surprise, taking in my dripping wet attire, glazed, puffy, and red eyes, with smeared mascara tracks running down my tear-stained cheeks.
"Kim?" he gasped. "What—"
Without a word I threw myself in his arms, clutching the folds of his black sweater as I buried my face in his chest, involuntary sobs emerging from my throat. Instantly his arms surrounded my waist, warmth and comfort not only wrapping around my body, but around my soul.
Pulling me into the house, he led me down the hallway, aligned with numerous family portraits, towards the bathroom. After flipping on the light, which spilt into the darkened corridor, he disappeared into his younger sister's room. A short time later, he returned with an arm full of spare, dry clothes before leaving me alone to change.
Quickly, I peeled the snug, wet material away from my skin, which I dumped in a nearby wastebasket, before hopping into the shower. Billows of stream rose into the air, the moisture thickening the air. Closing my eyes, I momentarily leaned back, basking in the warmth of the water spraying over my body as unbidden images of Skull's betrayal flashed through my mind.
I froze, staring at the sight before me. A stab of pain ripped through my heart as a gasp involuntarily erupted from my throat. At the sound of my voice, my boyfriend, Skull, spun around, his arms still locked around another girl, his face paling.
"Kim," Skull rasped, breathless, quickly untangling himself as he stumbled towards me, holding his hand out beseechingly. "It's not what it look like."
"How could you?" I whispered, brokenly. Unshed tears began forming behind my eyes as I regarded him coldly, my heart bleeding from unseen wounds. "How could you?"
He seized my wrist as I turned away. "Kim, wait, please…""You lied to me!" Weakly I struggled to pull away, but his grip tightened.
"Kim, please listen to me—"
"No!" I burst out suddenly, yanking my wrist out of his grasped.
Pain flared up in his, vulnerable, devastated gaze. "But you mean everything to me."
My fingers tightened around his ring, a symbol of our relationship, my gaze unconsciously flickering over to where a familiar blonde haired classmate stood, hastening to straighten out her rumbled appearance. Catching sight of my narrowed gaze, she shrank away, a slight rosy tint flooding her cheeks. My throat tightened as numerous possible ideas of what had occurred moments before plagued my mind. Desperately I shook my head.
"You used me," I cried out hoarsely. As Skull shook his head, my expression darkened at the obvious lie. " You used me!"
"No…"
"It's over."
"Kim…" he pleaded. "Don't do this to me."
"It's over!" I screamed, wrenched his ring off my finger, and hurled it at him, before physically tearing myself away, fleeing.
Switching off the shower, I grabbed a nearby towel, quickly pressing it against my face, squelching my cries. Numbly, I slipped into a pair of comfy jeans and a fluffy, red cashmere sweater; ignoring the mass, tangled mess of snarls my hair would be the following morning, I tied it back in a loose ponytail, occasionally droplets of water dripping from the ends onto my back.
Quietly I exited the bathroom, aimlessly wandering down the hallway, searching for Jason. As I rounded a corner, I spotted him, leaning comfortably against the cushioned couch, his arm draped across the back, his fingers absently tapping to an unheard rhythm. Although I hadn't made a sound, he must have heard me come in because he suddenly glanced up from the TV in my direction.
Without a word, he raised the remote, muting whatever show he had been watching before his gaze returned to mine, extending his hand. After hesitating for a moment, I walked forward, slipping my fingers into his, allowing him to tug me closer. As I settled down beside him, his arm wrapped around my shoulders, fitting me into the curve of his side, our thighs brushing. Contently, I rested my head on his shoulder, underneath his jaw. At the feel of his fingers entwining within mine, I tilted my face up towards his, unuttered tears threatening to spill.
"I'm here for you, Kim, whenever you need me."
Above, the ceiling echoed with the patter of raindrops. In the distance, thunder rumbled and lightning flashed. Currents of rain poured outside the windows, blurring nearby buildings. An orangish-black glow, generated from the crackling fire lit inside the handsome, marble fireplace, scurried over the walls, like creeping shadows. Grotesque and odd colors, reflections from the television, lit up the room, a welcoming silence descending.
Soundless and blurry scenes danced across the screen, but unable to concentrate, I retreated back into the darkest depths of my mind, hoping to escape the inevitable pain. My vision clouded, as images of Skull in that deserted classroom locked another girl's arms, kissing her, burned themselves into my memory. Inhaling sharply, I blinked rapidly, aggravating my already tear-filled gaze. Dewy puddles formed across my eyes as more tears spilled over and slid down my cheeks. Swiftly I pressed a hand over my mouth, sniffling softly.
Hearing my soft whimpers, Jason shifted his position, hooking his finger underneath my chin and tilting it up to meet his gaze, unanswered questions blazing in his eyes.
"I-I-I…" Stuttering, I swallowed hard, struggled to keep my voice steady. "I broke up with Skull," I finally managed to choke out.
Jason carefully masked his emotions. "I'm sorry, Kim."
I pressed my quivering lips together, squeezing my eyes shut. "I…I got played…he never cared about me, which was made evident today when I caught him in the arms of another girl."
"You…what?" he hissed, his expression darkening with unsuppressed anger. His mouth twisted, preventing a steady flow of curses words.
"I should have listened to you," I rasped, my voice hoarse as my stomach contracted in bursts of hysterical sobs. "If I had, then—"
He pressed a finger against my lips, a protective glint in his eyes. "Shh-Shh. It's okay. He didn't hurt you, did he?"
I shook my head. "Not unless bruising my heart counts," I murmured, humorlessly.
Unconsciously, his arms tightened around me, reassuringly rubbing my back as I buried my face in his chest. Wet splotches from my tears speckled his shirt, but he didn't object. He just held me silently, stroking my hair, whispering soothing words.
Physically drained a few hours later, exhausted from the unending sympathy from Jason's parents, I fell into a fitful sleep while still lying in his arms.
At the feel of him tenderly tucking one arm under my slightly bent knees while the other supported my back, I groggily blinked my eyes open; however, they involuntarily slipped closed again as I snuggled into his warm embrace. Carefully cradling me against his chest, he carried me up to their guestroom.
Gently laying me on the mattress, he removed my shoes, before tucking the covers around my body. I expected him to leave afterwards, but then the mattress shifting downwards. Squinting up through my eyelashes, I could dimly make out an expression of genuine concern while his gaze remained intently transfixed on me.
"How could he do this to you?" he whispered softly as if speaking to himself as he leaned back against the headboard of the bed, while tenderly caressing my hair. I involuntarily shivered at the feathery sensation spidering down my spine. "If only he could see what I see…"
Uncharacteristically he leaned down and pressed a chaste kiss against my temple before slipping out of the room. Sleep eluded me that night. Although exhausted, numerous thoughts relentlessly plagued my mind. Jason and I were best friends. The idea of him even remotely interested in me in a romantic sense literally seemed unfathomable, inconceivable.
We were just friends, right?
The following morning, my heart weighing heavily from the remnants of the previous day's events freshly seared into my memory, I sleepily shuffled into the kitchen. The beginnings of dark circles under my eyes starkly contrasted with my skin.
Quietly, unenthusiastically, I poked at my cereal, swirling its contents around before pushing away the bowl completely. Every now and then I caught the fleeting looks of concern Jason kept shooting my way when he thought I wasn't looking, but I just wasn't hungry.
"Jason," I asked suddenly, shattering the awkward silence building between us, "do you think it's possible for someone to ever fall in love with me?"
"Of course I do."
I blinked, caught off guard by his quick response. "But why?" I argued. "I'm nobody special. I'm not beautiful nor am I funny; I'm just a know-it-all, stubborn girl. What's so special about me?"
"You can't even begin to imagine how wrong you are, Kim," he chuckled, his stomach rumbling with his deep, rich baritone laughter. Leaning across the table, he grasped both of my hands. "I'm sure there are lots of men out there who realize just how incredible you really are. You're the smartest girl I know; you're beautiful, funny, comforting, and honest..."
"You're my best friend," I interrupted, rolling my eyes as a bit of laughter clouded my voice. "You have to say that."
Jason stiffened; apprehensively his eyes flickered back and forth, an inward battle raging as he uneasily released my hands and leaned back in his chair. Resting his hands in his lap, he stubbornly kept his gaze intently fixed on an ornate leg of the table. Baffled by the uncharacteristic change, my brow wrinkled with confusion. Abruptly, he stood, before I could question him, gathered our dishes and carried them over to the sink.
"Actually I shouldn't say that because I'm your best friend," he muttered over his shoulder, busily scrubbing the dishes clean.
Fear's icy fingers gripped my heart at his clipped tone. "W-what do you mean?"
Sighing, he switched off the running faucet. Tightly, he gripped the sides of the sink, leaning over the edge. I heard rather than saw him swallow hard as he lifted his gaze, staring unseeingly at the ceiling. Breathing heavily, I sat glued to my chair, my ears echoing with the rapid beating of my heart.
"I like you…" he confessed uncertainly. "I like you more than I should."
The air whooshed from my lungs as I sat there, dumbstruck. Slowly I began shaking my head, my vision blurring as I found myself reliving the night Skull had unexpectedly shown up outside my bedroom window in the pouring rain, saying those exact words. Foolishly, blindly, I had given my heart away. Then I found him kissing that girl.
Had he even care?
Jason's worried expression swarmed into view as suddenly the full impact of his words slammed against me. Swiftly coving my mouth, I stumbled out of my chair, tripping over my feet, the chair helplessly skittering across the floor. Clumsily I climbed to my feet, pressing my back against the wall, staring at my best friend, wildly. I had just broken up with my boyfriend! Why did he have to wait until now to tell me this?
"No," I gasped, still shaking my head, repeatedly trying to make myself wake up. "No, you're lying," I repeated firmly.
Pain flared up in Jason's eyes at my accusation. "Kim, I've felt this way for as long as I can remember," he pleaded, his hand reaching out towards mine. "Please believe me."
"Kim," Skull rasped, breathless, quickly untangling himself as he stumbled towards me, holding his hand out beseechingly. "It's not what it look like."
Abruptly I shook myself awake, shoving away the hindering memory, I pulled away as if his touch would scald me.
"You're telling me this now? After sixteen years of being best friends, after I recently broking up with my boyfriend, whom I caught cheating, after…you tell me this now!" My voice steadily increased in volume as I stared at him through tears I didn't know were there. "Why are you doing all this to me?"
"Kim, please let me explain."
"Kim, please listen to me—"
Choking back a sob, Jason's voice seemed to mix in with the memory of Skull's desperate plea for me to listen.
I had to get out of here.
I couldn't stay here anymore.
It hurt too much.
"I-I-I have to go," I stammered, refusing to meet his gaze as I stumbled backwards and hurried towards the door.
"Kim…Kim, wait!"
His pleas fell on deaf ears, as I wrenched open the door and fled down the steps, my eyes burning from the blinding sunlight.