All characters are owned by Masashi Kishimoto

"For a good time just knock on my door.

247 Sandy Lane Apt. 515"

Of all the stupid ideas Naruto has had over the years, I can't believe I'm going through with this one.

Sigh.

It's a pain, but this may be a simple solution to a long term problem.

Groan.

I don't know why I let those idiots get to me. I don't need to do this… but if I do, it'd be so easier just doing it this way. It's too troublesome to do it the "normal" way. You know, meet a girl, take interest in girl, show constant interest until said girl actually lets you touch her… It's so…

Sigh.

It's not like I'm some sex fiend though. I just want to get the experience. Then, Naruto and the gang can get off my back for never having done it, and Kiba can stop shoving his prized box of porn down my throat… I'd die if he knew I watched some. I can already hear him in my head. "All right, Shikamaru! Finally letting the animal out of its cage!"

Groan.

I mean, I had to know something about how to please a woman before I came a knocking on this womans door. Although, I heard those movies were way over exaggerated… Oh well, at least I'll have some sort of knowledge, and even if it isn't the greatest, I'll probably never see this woman again, and I really doubt I'm going to want to. I mean, this woman had her personal information plastered on a bathroom stall. Classy.

Who knows? Tonight may not even happen. What if I'm not attracted to her and I can't physically comply to the needs of this woman? What if it isn't even a woman? What if "Temari" is some 40 year old axe murderer waiting to prey on the lecherous?

Sigh.

I'll judge the situation when the door opens. It's weird, but I feel as if something's telling me I need to do this. Like, some life changing moment is going to happen soon and I'm not supposed to fight it.

How troublesome.

I guess here goes nothing.

Knock.

Fuck not another one.

Ever since the dickbag had posted all those fucking "advertisements" over the whole city, all these creeps randomly showing up at my door. It's ridiculous. I'd move, but it's so hard to find an apartment this cheap where I can live on my own. I can't go back to living with my brothers. Just no.

Ughhhhhhh. All this because I wouldn't suck this losers dick. I mean what kind of egotistical maniac just decides to go out and plaster somebody's address just because their penis didn't get licked? I mean seriously. Can no one take rejection anymore?

Knock.

Shit. Almost forgot about the latest sex fiend at my doorway. The guy probably already has his dick up against his zipper ready to bust at any moment. Ha!

This could be fun. But how to approach the situation? Should I scare him off and just end it now or should I make him thinks he has a chance? Decisions, decisions. Let me get a peek at my mystery man first.

He's… Does he have the right apartment? This one looks… decent. Almost good-looking, and not in a douche bag way like all the others. I feel as if the circumstances were different, I'd go after this man in my everyday life… He can't be here looking to score. There's no sign of arousal at all. I mean, there's a hint of uncertainty, but that could be about anything.

Shit. What do I do now? I can't just keep this man waiting! I'm just going to have to wing it. I got to play it cool and find out why he's here. Alright, Temari. You got this.

"Can I help you?"

I… She's… Shit.

I can't just stare at her. I need to make an attempt to speak to this… this… Goddess.

"I'm sorry. I just- Well what I mean is… I'm Shikamaru." Smooth, Shikamaru. Real smooth.

But I just can't help it. She has these teal eyes and sandy blonde hair and her body- I just- wow.

"Hello Shikamaru. Why are you here?" Good question. Why am I here? Why am knocking on this woman's door close to midnight? What possessed me to come and expect sex from this woman? Oh yeah. The ad, but… Would she put it up? Shit. Her body language is getting defensive. I need to say something.

"Um I-"

"Are you usually this dull?" Her words are harsh and amusing, but her eyes are shining and I just can't look away. It's now or never.

"No. I'm here because a friend of mine found your address and told me to come here." Her eyes just dulled a bit. She's still sunning, but something's off.

"Did he tell you why?"

"No. He didn't."

She's hesitant. It looks as if she has as many thoughts going through her head as I do. That's actually… comforting.

She looks she's about to say something, but stops. Wait.

"Listen Shikamaru. I'm going to be honest with you." I'm not her type. I knew it. I should've known. What is wrong with me? "A dumbass I wrote my address all over town with a message saying I'm basically a prostitute all because I rejected him."

…"Oh." So she doesn't…

"Your 'friend' sent you here either because he wants you to get laid or he knew I wasn't going to do it and was hoping …"

She's rambling. I think she's as uncomfortable as I am. She'll stop eventually, but the thing is I don't want her to stop and this to end. I want to see her after this. I should just ask her now. Who knows if I'll ever see her again.

"Temari." She's a little taken back from me cutting her off. God damn it. Those eyes. Come on, Shikamaru. "Do you want to go out to dinner sometime?"

She's just staring at me now. Shit, she doesn't want to- I shouldn't have-

"Yes."

"Really?" God she has the most beautiful smile. "Um, so I'll come around six tomorrow. Is that okay?"

"Yeah. That works fine."

"Great. So I'll see you tomorrow?"

"Yeah."

"Well, I'll get going. See you."

"Yeah, see you."

Click.

I'm glad she's inside now. The smile on my face… I'm going to have to remember to thank Naruto.

A/N' Whew. Done. There were so many ways I wanted to take this. Anyway, thanks for reading!