A/N: So, here's the story.
I was sitting on my bed, writing the sequel for, "Mixed Emotions" (I may post it, I may not. We'll see how it goes), listening to YES, before I suddenly realized what I was listening to.
I... I just couldn't help myself.
Who wants to see William golfing with an extendable club?
You do.
Well, I'm sorry I don't have the link.
The picture was in a volume of the manga, and it's floating around on the Internet somewhere. Keep an eye out for it.
Golf just got a whole lot hotter.
Just a little note, I've always loved Ronnie, but I'm starting to love him a little more because, guess what? I'm a Ronnie cosplayer! Just sayin'.
Flamers will flame.
You have to listen to be song while reading this. And you MUST picture William with the singer's voice.
Warning: In order to get this fic at all, you have to know what the YES dance is. I suck at writing dances. If you don't know what it is, look it up on YouTube, but be warned that a man strips down to nothing... Just don't watch the uncensored version, and you'll be safe.
~And with that said, let this epic tale begin...!~
(HAAAZAR!)
~•~•~•~•~•~•~
"Really, Sutcliff? The "YES"?" William looked at the lyrics on the page that the redhead had given to him.
"Yup! The "Yes"!" Grell smiled and clasped his hands together in excitement.
You see, quite a few members of the General Affairs department were hosting a giant office party. Reapers of all ages would be dancing, drinking, smoking pot, and some would even be performing skits. William had overheard a few subordinates of his talking about what an uptight ass he was. William had come to Grell with this little problem (because Grell was the only person he would dare talk to about his personal life. In a way, Grell was like the gay best friend that everybody wants), and Grell suggested that they perform their own skit, just to show everyone what a cool guy William could be.
Sadly for him, William agreed to do one of Grell's little skits.
William scanned the page for a moment more, before saying, "Well, this song has QUITE a bit of fowl language... Sutcliff, I don't know-"
"Aww, Will~! You need to LOO~SEN UP! I mean, you're a grown man. It's not like there will be any small children around, we're shinigami! Besides, you won't be alone! I'll perform WITH you~! I could even get some of the others to join!" Grell persuaded.
William gave a deep sigh. "FINE. The "Yes" it is."
Grell squealed in happiness. "Thank you, dear~! I KNEW I could count on you! I'll go ask Knoxie, Eric, Alan, and Undertaker if they wanna join! Is that fine with you?"
"I guess." William turned the page over to find Grell's handwriting on the back. His eyes widened as he deciphered the scrawl. Just as Grell was about to skip through the door, William interrupted with, "Sutcliff! What the hell are these dress requirements!"
Grell smirked. "Hmm~ Exactly what it says they are, darling. Ta-ta~!" Grell gave a girlish little wave and flew out of the room, slamming the door behind him.
The rest of the color in William's already-pale face drained.
Oh, lord.
What had he signed up for?
...
So, there he was, standing backstage (the General Affairs department had managed to make a stage magically appear in the cafeteria), feeling like a moron in his red baseball-cap, black and white striped tank-top, blue short-shorts, and white knee-high boots.
At least Grell was looking like a moron with him. The aforementioned redheaded shinigami was standing next to him in a pink sweat-band, white shirt (that only covered his chest), long dark blue shorts, and matching white knee-high boots.
Suddenly, Ronald poked his head through the curtain and said, "You're up," smirk planted firmly on his face.
Well, fuck.
William and Grell put their microphones on, before the redhead turned and looked up at his boss. "You ready?"
William hesitated. Swallowing the lump in his throat, he nodded, "Yeah."
And with that, they bravely walked to the stage.
Once they were on the stage, William saw a few wide-eyed subordinates, but ignored them and waited for the track to start. Once he heard music, he adjusted his microphone and said the following.
"We're gonna teach y'all something tonight, some of y'all know, some of y'all don't. You wanna know what it's called?"
William and Grell started pumping their fists in the air while switching their feet.
"It's called yes. Yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes."
The crowd cheered loudly. They both stopped dancing and William continued.
"Now some of y'all can't remember shit, if you ain't got words. So we're gonna give y'all some words to remember this by."
A few people had probably fainted at the word, "shit", coming from their boss's mouth.
"It goes,"
They both did a different hand motion at each of these words (first up, then left, then right, then down):
"Words, beat, fierce, sound. Words, beat, fierce, sound."
At this, the two started dancing more... Vigorously.
"Words beat fierce sound words beat fierce sound words beat fierce sound words beat fierce sound."
They stopped dancing, and William immediately continued with...
"Let's do the fork in the garbage disposal! Let's do the fork in the garbage disposal!"
They started spinning around and moving their arms wildly about. (Everyone in the audience was cheering and screaming.)
"DING DING DING, DING DING DING, DA-DING DING!
DING DING DING, DING DING DING, DA-DING DING! DING DING DING, DING DING DING, DA-DING DING!
DING DING DING, DING DING DING, DA-DING DA!"
They both suddenly stopped and held out one of their arms.
"STOP!"
They bent down, as if searching for something.
"I lost my contact."
They both snapped back up.
"FOUND IT!"
The music continued and they switched their feet while they moved their arms to their chest, hands resting on their shoulders, before out stretching their arms in front of them, changing arms with each beat.
Meanwhile, Ronald was changing his clothes. Why, you ask? Well, you'll just have to continue reading to find out.
William had stopped the ridiculous dance. The audience quieted down just enough to let him speak again.
"Well, I hope you guys liked that little tutorial on how to YES."
Grell continued to dance. William turned to him.
"Uh-oh. Look at Sutcliff. She caught the yes, look at her go."
He waited a bit and watched Grell dance.
"Alright, slow down, bitch. That's enough. Slow down, girl."
Grell continued to randomly dance.
"You're starting to yes to hard, girl. Slow down, bitch."
He faced the audience.
"She's done this before, she'll yes to DEATH. You're gonna hurt yourself! Someone call the fireman, she's on fire!"
William turned to Grell.
"Stop! Sutcliff, stop! You're yessing too hard! Sutcliff, stop! Stop!"
William made a high-pitched screeching noise as Grell collapsed, face on the floor, butt in the air. The music turned softer.
"My friend just died from yessing too hard! Uhuhuhuh!"
William turned to the audience and put his face in his hands, as if crying (the, "uhuhuhuh" was the crying noise he made). He suddenly snapped his legs out (so he was standing in jazz 2nd position), with his hands flexed and his arms at his sides.
"I have to believe in the yes."
His hands turned into jazz hands as he moved them up.
"The yes can cure everything!"
He adjusted his headset.
"People, I need you with me right now! I need you to yes with me! We're gonna save Sutcliff! Can you do that? All my bitches come out! Where are you, bitches?"
The crowd cheered as various shinigami walked onto the stage. These shinigami included Ronald, Eric, Alan, Undertaker, Lawrence Anderson (O.o), and a few more. And they were all in odd outfits. William turned to the audience again.
"Do you guys believe in the yes? Do you believe in the yes? We're gonna yes so hard, we're gonna bring Sutcliff back! Are you with me? Are you with me? Are you with me? DANCE!"
And all of the shinigami started doing some strange dance that included lots of arm flailing.
"Keep going!"
Grell started to stand up.
"It's working! Yes! Yes! Yes! Yes! Yes! Yes! Yes!"
William walked toward Grell, arms outstretched.
"Oh my god! Sutcliff, I'm so glad you're alive! I don't know what I would've done without you!"
He took Grell's hands and said...
"I love you!"
Grell smiled and blushed. Even though it was part of the skit, he STILL got his boss to say it.
"Oh, I love you too, so much!"
"Well, since you're here, I want you to have something."
William pretended to pull something out of his pocket and hand it to Grell.
"It's called ecstasy."
Grell gave a little excited jump.
"You should take it."
The redhead pretended to take the ecstasy and swallow it. All of the reapers besides Grell started to do pelvic thrusts, while Grell...
Stripped?
O.o
"Keep goin', girl! Uh-oh! Oh no!"
He took his shirt, shoes, headband, and shorts off, leaving him in his briefs... Which were black and said 'CENSORED' on them in big white letters... The O in CENSORED was a pink heart.
Where the hell do you get underwear like that?
"That's called yes!"
All the stage lights turned off, only to turn back on as William said...
"Yes, yes, yes!"
The lights turned off and turned on, once more.
"Yes, yes, yes, yes, yes!"
The lights turned off and on again, and the shinigami danced around as William continued.
"Yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, YES!"
With the last, "Yes", William did a little twirl.
The entire room full of people started applauding and whistling.
...
And the next day, people would just not stop giving William shit about the previous night.
~•~•~•~•~
Wow... Just... Wow.
I'm sorry if my lyrics are off or not correct. I had to write them down myself.
I apologize for my shoddiness!
Please drop a review! They make me happy!