This is a quick little fun bit; I got an interesting inbox with a prompt that had so much promise, I just couldn't refuse. Thanks to Jbirds212 for the idea! =)
The Tooth Doctor
"I'm telling you, mate…. I've had worse pain than this…" Killian winced miserably, trying to use the cold of his hook against the heat of his cheek. "No… no need to fuss."
It was a dinner Sunday and ever since Emma had embraced the fact that this guy, this… eighteenth century buccaneer of the seven seas with a sharp and curvy appendage for a hand was her boyfriend, he was rather a welcome addition to the family gathering.
This night was the first family dinner night since Hook moved into Emma's new condo by the beach.
Emma looked up from her plate. "Killian… look at me."
With a huff, the captain held his head up.
Snow nodded with a wincing hiss. "Yeah, that looks swollen."
"Like I said, a pack of ice on the face and I'll be right as rain."
"And you say I'm stubborn…" David smiled and took another broccoli tree into his mouth.
Emma stood up and walked to Killian. "Ok, let me see…" She turned Killian's face to her with both hands. "How long has this been going on for, Hook?"
"Is that in any way relevant, love? Come now, you're missing your family dinner, here."
"Killian!"
"Fine! Bloody hell, you people are truly overwhelming!" He shook his head. "This morning. But I took a couple of them little round tablets you call aspirin and I did fine. Perhaps if your lovely mother would procure me with a couple more…"
"No, Hook, the aspirin only takes away the pain, not the problem." Snow shook her head.
"And is that such a bad thing?" he winced again.
Henry then stood up and went to get his phone. "Let me check if doctor Heckler is still available right now, hang on."
"Who's Doctor Heckler?"
"Henry's dentist."
Hook shook his head. "And what the hell is a dentist?"
David cleaned his lips with his serviette. "It's a tooth doctor, buddy. They specialize in fixing teeth."
"What a way to ruin your family evening, lass, taking me to a bloody tooth doctor when it truly is nothing extraordinary…" Hook moaned. "I'm not that poorly…."
"Yeah, well, the beads of sweat on your temples tell another story, buddy. You're in pain." Emma affirmed.
"Nope, he's out till tomorrow morning. Just made an appointment for ten tomorrow." Henry shook his head. "Grandma, I think Killian could use a couple of aspirins again…"
For someone who 'was not doing that poorly', Killian took down those pills faster than anyone could say Ahoy.
OOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO
Normally Emma had no trouble catching her z's. The Salvation Army could easily march through her room, and if she were tired enough, she'd probably just think it was a dream.
But when she stirred in her sleep, reached one arm out to hold her pirate and found a hollow space beside her, she grunted and opened a lazy eye.
Her Captain was not in bed.
Now she knew he was an early bird, always up at the crack of dawn to "get things done" (She never figured out which things required getting done, but he always found something) and would come back for a snuggle, a chat, a fight or a sexy sesh.
But even for the disciplined sailor, three seventeen was far too early.
"Killian?" She moaned as she sat up. She squinted as she looked in the direction of the bathroom, the light form the inside of the room hurting her sleepy eyes. When after a few minutes he didn't come out, she stood up and tiptoed to the door, only to hear a soft but terribly distraught and ached whimper. She tapped on the door. "Killian, are you ok?"
"I'm fine… darling… get back to sleep."
No. His voice was broken.
Anything but fine.
Emma opened the door and found her boyfriend, shirtless, standing by the mirror and trying to dislodge the ached molar from his mouth with the aid of his hook.
She instantly pulled his arm down. "Are you insane?"
"Emma, this bloody pain woke me! It's maddening!" He moaned back at her (she could have sworn he'd even cried a little from the redness in his eyes… not that she could blame him).
(She'd had more than a few unattended toothaches in her sore childhood).
(Toothaches sucked).
"You're gonna hurt yourself like that, Hook, why the hell didn't you wake me up?"
He shook his head and sat on the toilet, his good hand over his cheek. "Why should I inconvenience your sleep hours, love, over this… bloody silly pain of mine?" He groaned and bent over. "Bloody hell, that hurts more than a bullet wound!"
"Yeah, I hear ya…" Emma crouched before him and rubbed his thigh. "Ok, I suppose the aspirin didn't quite cut it."
"No… and it also made me disgorge this night's earlier repast."
Emma stood up and hugged his shaggy head to her tummy. "Yeah, aspirin can do that to ya. Hang on, I think I may have something tougher here…" She opened up the mirror counter over the sink and found Ibuprophen. She handed him two pills. "I think this will help." She turned and filled the glass from the tap.
"These won't make me sick?" He winced at her.
"No. Go ahead."
Killian gulped down the caps and followed Emma out the bathroom back into bed.
"Crazy pirate, trying to pull your tooth out with a sailor's hook, what were you thinking?"
"I can't think ANYTHING with this pain, Swan, I swear it, it's exceedingly excruciating."
Emma sighed. "Yeah, I know, I've had a few of those."
After fifteen minutes of trying to chat to keep him distracted (didn't really work), Killian's pain subsided and he sighed with deep relief as he drifted into sleep, his swollen cheek on Emma's shoulder.
Suffice to say the captain didn't rise with the sun that morning.
OOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO
Killian sat with Emma and Henry, waiting to go in to see the doctor.
The tooth doctor.
"Killian Jones?" The kind assistant allowed.
Disgruntled and very visibly annoyed from lack of sleep, pain and probably having too much Ibuprophen in his blood stream, Killian stood and pulled Emma with him into the office.
"Bloody hell…" He stopped cold at the sight of what looked like a torture chair in a chamber of horrors. "What's going to become of me, Swan?"
She rubbed his shoulders. "It's ok, baby. Go on." Emma stood up and went inside with him while Henry remained seated. He gave Emma a wide-eyed wince. "Good luck!" He mouthed at her.
An older guy with gray hair on either side of his face emerged from the bathroom as the leather-clad Killian Jones sat dubiously on the seat.
"Hey, Mr. Jones, good morning." He smiled as he dried his hands with a towel.
"Not at all good…" He gnarled back.
The man laughed. "Bad night huh? I suppose we'd better take a look. Henry told me it's a pretty bad toothache, which one is it?"
Killian rose his eyes to Emma and she grinned with a nod. He then pulled is finger up and silently pointed at his swollen cheek.
"Top or bottom?"
"Bottom."
"Ok, so let's get an x-ray of that and while we wait for the result we can start looking at your teeth, shall we? Now… here's the water, in case you need to rinse, then you spit into this bowl right here. This…" He produced a funny looking little tube. "This little vacuum will drain out all fluids from your mouth, it makes an interesting noise but it's completely painless. This…" he hit a pedal and produced a very…. Uncomfortable-looking device with an even more uncomfortable sound. "This is a drill, but I promise you, when I use it on your tooth, it won't hurt…"
The noise alone sent shivers up and down Hook's spine.
After the doctor took the x-ray (Killian had no idea how the magic in this realm worked or why Emma was asked to wear a lead mask while an odd machine was placed by his cheek that made a strange clicking sound), he used what to Killian like torture instruments to examine his teeth. Using what looked like a ridiculously small mirror and a crocheting needle, he checked Killian's mouth.
He was sweating. Captain Hook was actually sweating.
"Wow. Remarkable." The doctor smiled. "Your have a prime set of teeth buddy. How old are you?"
Killian raised an eyebrow. "That depends, mate, biologically or chronologically?"
When the doctor frowned, Emma cut in. "He's… thirty five really, but he's been around… quite a bit longer."
"Curse?" The doctor chuckled.
"Neverland." Hook corrected.
"That's right, you're Captain Hook! Well, then you're well over the first couple hundred, huh? Hahaha…" Killian squinted and mimicked an ironic giggle. "Well, for your age, you have an excellent set of teeth, canines and molars there, son. Not a single cavity. Except for our little buddy back there, wreaking havoc on your pulps."
The doctor smiled and went to collect the x-ray. Killian was horrified to see his own bones, even if just his teeth.
"I've death in me .." He huffed.
Emma chuckled.
"Yep. Just as I thought. The pulp's practically about to burst there, pal. No wonder you're in pain. Ok here are our options: One, we pull out the whole piece, which would be a shame because the tooth itself looks fine, and two, root canal."
Killian shook his head. "Look, mate, I have no idea what it is you need to do, but I could care less… just… make it go away."
Emma sighed and nodded to the doctor. "Root canal."
"Ok…" He grinned. "I'll go to collect my instruments, get everything ready and we can get started."
Killian crossed his legs and shook his foot. "Swan…"
"Yeah?"
"Just… what is a root canal?"
"Oh… it sounds kind of barbaric, but believe me, best thing ever."
Killian nodded, and continued shaking his feet.
"But what is it?"
She sighed. "Ok, look. What they do is, they put some anesthesia into your gums and…"
"Wait, they put what into where?"
"Anesthesia." Emma shrugged. "It's a liquid. It makes your nerves go numb so they can work without any pain."
He frowned. "Can't I just have that and go home?"
Emma laughed. "You don't want that. As soon as the effect wears off, the pain would return, and besides…" She shook her head. "…having a numb mouth from that stuff is NOT a relief, trust me."
"So if the effect goes away, what's the point in having this Root Canal done? Why not just pull the blasted tooth out?"
Emma shook her head. "You are so black and white…"
"Love…" He sat up. "Have you any idea how many ached, puss-filled teeth I personally helped my crew men get rid of? I know my game!"
"Yeah, well… You are no longer a savage eighteenth century pirate floating around a cursed island, surrounded by mermaids, lost boys and dirty old men without the privilege of toothbrushes and Listerine, ok?" She pushed him back down and personally adjusted the little medical bib. "Now… the root canal. Once your gums are numb, the doctor will drill a hole on the top of your tooth and…"
"WHAT?"
"You won't friggin' feel it!"
"Because of Anastasia…" He huffed.
"Anesthesia. Yeah."
He felt his back had begun to sweat.
"And then what?"
Just as Emma was about to reply, the doors opened and in came the doctor with a tray-full of instruments and what looked like tiny, tiny bolts.
He smiled kindly at Killian. "May I please ask you to remove the hook, Captain?" While Killian frowned fiercely at him, the doctor explained. "I can hear that you are kind of new at this, and to be honest, I'm well aware that nobody likes a visit to the dentist because it's usually not very pleasant, so I really would like to be able to work knowing you won't be stabbing me in the nape of my neck while I do."
Killian huffed, removed the hook and gave it to Emma.
"Thank you. Now… shall we begin?" He smiled as he produced a needle. "Open wide… this will feel like a little bit of pressure, no pain at all…"
Killian gulped.
OOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO
Henry sat outside and stifled grunts of laughter as he heard the ruckus inside the doctor's office:
"GAAAAHH, YOU SAID NO PAIN, YOU SLY OLD BASTARD!"
"Bloody Hell!"
"What the blazes is that!?"
"You… you are intent on killing me!"
"Swan, why are you snickering!?"
"This is barbaric! I swear no torture chamber has everrrrraaaaarrrghh!"
And then, silence.
Except for the sound of the drill.
Henry winced.
(He certainly was glad he was not in Killian's shoes that day).
An hour and a half later, Henry had nodded off, his head leaning on the wall, when the sound of the door opening woke him.
Killian looked drained… one cheek like a hamster's… and he was frowning something awful.
Emma held on to his arm as she turned to the doctor. "So, keep up with the Ibuprophen for a couple days and then come back to see how he's doing?"
Looking fresh and happy, the doctor placed his hands behind his back. "That's right! And no more soda for the captain." He smiled at Killian and nodded. "Remember sir! Brush up and down, never sideways."
"I alwaysh bloodrry do!"
Once again Henry had to stifle his laughter. Killian's eyes shot to him and Henry had to look away; Killian was practically dripping cotton balls out his mouth and his lips were partially drooping.
"Be gradefull I'm not wearrrring the hoogh lad." He mumbled angrily.
Emma chuckled and tugged him to her. "Now, now, play nice!" She kissed his good cheek. "At least we fixed the problem."
"Aye, and I'm like Long John bloodrrry Silver and can'tz feel half my faith…"
"Your faith?" she frowned, amused as hell. "You can't feel your faith?"
"MY FAITH! MY BLOODTHY FAITH SHWAN!"
"Oh! Your face!" She laughed aloud.
He huffed.
"Don't worry, Killian." Henry shook his head. "Your face will be fine in a few hours."
"Hmph…" Killian growled. "Let'th justh… go home."
"In your defense… You really are sounding like a true pirate now, though…" Emma laughed. "Come on! Give me a good, loud ARR!"
Killian stared daggers at her. "Bugger off."