A/N: Hi! Rousdower here! I've finally gotten around to getting an account, so here is my first story! I hope you guys like it!
Doctor Leonard McCoy was very exhausted. Not to mention upset, but that wasn't new. In the past two days, he's had to deal with many unwanted occurrences. Such as Captain Kirk dying and then being brought back to life (boy was that stressful, and the paperwork! The paperwork!) Also a very emotionally unstable Vulcan. Really, how much worse could it have gotten! But it did! Now he had an even more emotionally unstable and absolutely crazy superman, was sitting in the next room, waiting for even more blood to be taken (and Dr. McCoy was sure the taking of blood wasn't helping anything for superman's temper).
He heaved a huge stress filled sigh as he picked up the hypo and proceeded to the next room, decidedly not looking forward to yet another encounter with the despotic warlord (in other words his name was Khan as said warlord so dramatically put it).
The door hissed open and he was greeted with the oh so wonderful sight of Khan sitting there, perfect posture as usual, sporting a rather blank and slightly heartbroken expression on his face (Leonard didn't blame him, the guy thought that his entire crew was dead). He sighed again and walked fearlessly up to the second worst terrorist of the century (let's face it, he didn't blow up an entire planet like that Romulan guy, what was his name? Niko! Nemo! Oh yeah, Nero. Definitely not Nemo. Good. That would've been sad).
"Hold out your arm, please" Leonard stated, sounding just as tired as he felt.
Khan rolled his eyes, "Again, Doctor?"
"Yeah, sorry 'bout that, but orders are orders."
Khan scowled, but rolled his sleeve up and stuck his arm out gracefully (as usual) in front of him. Bones stuck the hypo in his arm and waited. He noticed Khan looking at him but purposefully ignored it. As he was leaving Khan finally spit out whatever he had wanted to say.
"Doctor, whatever happened to that tribble?"
Bones turned around and quirked an eyebrow which he quickly put down after the thought- Damn! I'm turning into that hobgoblin of a Vulcan now! -ran through his head. Tribble? What Tribble? He racked his brain for any recent memories of a tribble, but he was so tired he's lucky he could remember anything at all. Tribble...Tribble...Tribble. Nope, nothing.
"I'm not sure I know what you're talking about." Damn he was getting old.
"Surely you remember, Doctor. The Tribble into which you injected my blood."
Tribble... injected... evil guy's blood... OH YEAH! That Tribble. "It revived, as I'm sure you knew it would" Leonard said with a yawn.
"But," Khan smirked, "where is it."
Bones paused, thought, and finally answered, "Actually, I don't know and I frankly don't care. I've got bigger fish to catch." He then left with a, by no means, dramatic exit. More of a tired, stumbly shuffle.
Khan ignored the fact that the metaphor was a little misused and grinned evilly to himself, saying out loud, "Oh, but you should, Doctor. You should."
Two and a half weeks later, on the way to wherever starships get fixed, we once again join the good Doctor in Medley.
Doctor McCoy was studying samples in his lab for what seemed like the umpteenth time in a single day. And once again he found himself utterly exhausted. So exhausted, he was fighting the urge to doze off, right there, on his stool. He didn't see the point in turning the lights up, let alone have the energy to do it. Therefore he was currently seated in a state of semidarkness.
After a good half-hour, he gave in and fell into a light doze. The entire four hours he'd been sitting there, he hadn't noticed the largish lump of seemingly breathing fur that was perched on a shelf above him...and it was very fixated on his head.
Suddenly, with a rather alarming snarl it pounced. But due to the dim lighting, it missed. Leonard jerked awake and looked around. Not seeing anything, he yawned and scratched his head.
Turning back to his microscope, he muttered, "I could've sworn I heard something..."
If he had listened carefully, he would've heard the quiet breathing of the lump of fur that was now hiding under the table he was working at. This time, with no snarling, it quietly crept forward until it was positioned directly behind him.
Leonard hummed a Hank Williams song to himself as he examined Jim Kirks blood. The healing property of Khan's blood really was amazing. Suddenly, he remembered the sort of conversation regarding the tribble he had with Khan, two weeks before. Why had Khan seemed so interested in the whereabouts of that tribble? As a matter of fact, where was that trib...
WHAM
Dr. Leonard McCoy very suddenly found his face smashed into the table, with a slightly heavy weight on his head. This weight was vibrating and emitting noises that Leonard soon recognized as growling.
He flung his head back and the weight disappeared with a soft, thump. He slowly turned around and, lo and behold, to his very extreme surprise (he was sure the look on his face was priceless), there sat the very Tribble Khan had been enquiring about. It was still growling and was now advancing upon him.
It leaped at him again and he just managed to dodge it. It twirled in midair and landed with another thump. He wasn't sure if it was facing him or not, but since it was still moving towards him, he would say it was.
With lightning speed extremely unnatural for a Tribble, it moved forward and tripped him. His response was a very loud, "What the hell!" (and other expletives that shall not be inserted due to their offending nature).
It became very clear that he was no match for this Tribble. He grabbed his communicator and hollered into it, "JIM! GET DOWN HERE NOW! WE HAVE AN ATTACK-OOF!"
The Tribble had leapt again and this time it hit his face. It was then that Dr. Leonard McCoy discovered, the hard (and painful) way, that Tribbles, at least this particular Tribble, had teeth.
Meanwhile, on the Bridge.
James Tiberius Kirk, no, Captain James Tiberius Kirk, was feeling wonderful. He was feeling better than wonderful, he was feeling great. He had insisted on personally, much to everyone's disappointment, overseeing that the Enterprise reach the ship bay, or whatever it's called, for repairs. This could only be topped by the fact that Khan was in prison and currently awaiting trial. Finally that guy would be out of his hair.
Two very pretty yeomen walked by, and he greeted them with his usual, "Hey, ladies. Captain Jim Kirk."
One giggled and blushed (he liked that), while the other simply muttered, "Pervert," under her breath as they walked to the turbo-lift.
He grinned to himself and thought about tracking down the one that blushed, maybe he could... His communicator rang and he snapped out of his reverie. He turned it on and Bones' voice rang through the bridge, "JIM! GET DOWN HERE NOW! WE HAVE AN ATTACK-OOF!"
Captain Kirk jumped up and ran to the turbo-lift, it wasn't until he got in that he realized Spock had joined him.
"Captain, I trust that I did not mishear when Dr. McCoy mentioned an attack?" Spock asked with (as usual) an eyebrow quirked inquisitively up.
Jim rolled his eyes, "No, Spock, you didn't."
"Then might I suggest we inform security to accompany us?"
"Actually, Spock, I don't know why I didn't think of that." He took out his communicator and spoke into it, "This is Captain Kirk. Send ten security personal to the medley immediately."
They stepped out of the turbo-lift and ran the rest of the way to medley, joined halfway by the security men. What they found there was slightly disturbing.
Dr. McCoy was lying in a small puddle of his own blood, his face was scratched very badly and he appeared to be only semiconscious
"Captain, might I suggest that we place the Doctor on one of the bio-beds?" Spock said stoically.
Captain Kirk rolled his eyes, "No, duh, Spock."
Spock joined him, but had a slightly, slightly, confused expression on his face, "Captain, I am unaware as to the meaning of 'no, duh'."
They lifted Bones on to the bio-bed and Captain Kirk sighed, "Never mind, Spock. Just...never mind."
Bones started to move around a bit and started muttering, "Uh...Tribble...killer Tribble...uuuuh."
Jim turned to Spock, "Do you have any idea why he's talking about a Tribble?"
"Negative, Captain."
Bones then fully woke up, "WHERE IS THAT DAMN TRIBBLE!"
It is safe to say that this very much alarmed Captain Kirk.
"Um, Bones. There's no Tribble here." Jim said slowly.
"There was! It attacked me!"
Jim couldn't think of a very good reply so all he said was, "Um, Ooo-kaaaay then."
However, Spock, ever logical asked the important question, "Doctor McCoy, if it was a Tribble, then how did your face acquire those bite-marks?"
Bones visibly shuddered, "It's got fangs."
Later, in the Monitor Room (oh, you know, the room where you can watch security feed. Yeah! That one!)
"Captain, though I was previously skeptical, this proves that what Doctor McCoy was saying, is indeed, true." Spock was looking at the screen with his usual indifference.
Captain Kirk however, was looking at the screen with an expression of pure horror, "A. Tribble. It's a Tribble. A Tribble with fangs. A Tribble with fangs."
"Captain, if I am not mistaken, that is the Tribble into which Khan's blood was injected." Spock stated, maintaining the look of indifference.
"It is." Kirk said with horror, mixed in with a little awe.
"The statistical likelihood that this speed and agility that the Tribble in question possesses, is an attribute of being injected with Khan's blood is 93.2%. I seem to remember this Tribble being quite docile prior to it's death."
They watched in silence as the tribble bit Bones unconscious and leapt towards the door. Each of it's leaps measured about 4ft. high and 5 ft. long. It jumped at the control panel and destroyed it in seconds. The door slid open and it left.
Captain Kirk's mouth was hanging agape. He looked rather like a fish. He closed it and stated with dead seriousness, "That is one hell of a Tribble."
Two days later, in a shuttle on course to Earth.
"Jim, did you ever find that damn Tribble," Bones asked. His near permanent scowl was in place and he was still irritated that he was taken down quite easily by a super-tribble.
Captain Kirk shuffled a little and said regretfully, "Uuuuum, no, actually."
"NO!?" Bones shouted in disbelief, "Are you tellin' me, that one little Tribble outsmarted you?"
"Yeah, the same little Tribble that knocked you unconscious." Kirk said with equal amounts of shame and smugness.
None of them noticed a very familiar little lump of fur, was sitting in a dark corner, fixated on them.
An hour later they entered atmosphere in San Francisco, everybody sad to see the damage caused by Khan's emotionally guided fury. They landed at the prison that Khan had been moved to a few weeks earlier. Kirk wanted to have a little chat with his augmented buddy.
As they walked down the corridor, the now evil and augmented Tribble followed in the shadows (this facility had minimal lighting, their motto is, "The light is too bright". Yes, I know. Not sure what that even means.)
They reached Khan's cell and Captain Kirk walked right up to the division. Khan stood and regarded them calmly, taking not of the Tribble in the corner, at which he smirked evilly. Yes, he thought, soon now.
"Did you know you blood would have the effect it did on that Tribble?" Kirk asked, nostrils flaring.
Khan raised one elegant eyebrow, "And what effect would that be, Captain?
"Weeeeell, somehow it gained the ability to MAUL MY CHIEF MEDICAL OFFICER!" Kirk shouted.
"Captain, I suggest you calm down." Spock said stoically.
"Yes, Captain. Do calm down." Khan smirked, "And yes, I did know as a matter of fact."
"Why did you not tell us?" Spock asked inquisitively.
"Because, Commander Spock, you did not ask." Khan sneered. Oh how he loathed that Vulcan. He did not take kindly to people killing his entire crew. Spock would be the first to die when he made his escape.
Kirk could feel his blood pressure rising, so before he did anything rash, he and the others marched out the door.
Khan allowed himself to grin evilly at the Tribble, which had leapt directly in front of his cell, "So my friend, are you ready to help me get out?"
The Tribble purred in response. Khan grinned again, "Well, go on, you know what to do."
Luckily for Khan, his guard was an idiot and had gone to use the bathroom when Kirk had stormed in.
The Tribble leaped over to the control panel and jump straight up, smacking the bright blue button with what Khan assumed was it's nose. You never can tell. His cell door slid open and he stepped out, immediately setting off the alarms.
He snorted and shook his head. Puny humans, they could not defeat the great Khan Noonien Singh... or his Tribble for that matter.
Meanwhile, with everyone's favorite Captain (but mine).
Kirk heard the alarm go off. He furrowed his brow and thought about who could possibly have escaped. Not Khan, no. The guard was right there when they walked in, wasn't he? Besides there was no way he could've broken through his cell's shielding.
Suddenly, a very nice, yet panicked female voice began talking, "The prisoner Khan has escaped. All sections on Red Alert. The prisoner Khan has escaped."
Kirk's eyes widened. How? How could he have escaped? He looked over to Spock who looked nonplussed.
He looked at Bones, who was looking behind them, his eyes widened he said, "Jim, it's Khan and he's got... HE'S GOT THAT DAMN TRIBBLE! I'M GONNA KILL THAT THING!"
Jim whirled around and saw Khan stalking towards them, with Tribble leaping after him at a very alarming pace for a Tribble. Kirk, Spock and Bones grabbed their phasers, but before any of them could shoot, Khan was upon them. For the second time in three weeks.
He knocked Kirk over with a punch to the face and went straight for the Vulcan. The tribble went for Bones, who said, "I swear, I'm gonna KILL YOU, YOU DAMN TRIBBLE!" The only response the Tribble gave was a feral growl.
Khan and Spock were at it hammer and tongs. Kirk heaved himself up and held onto the wall. He switched his phaser to kill and waited for an opening. At the moment, Khan had his hands full with Spock's head and Spock had him in a Vulcan nerve grip. Again, for the second time in three weeks.
Kirk finally saw an opening, but he was distracted by Bones hollering, "OW! YOU BIT ME! AGAIN! YOU DAMN TRIBBLE!"
The Tribble had Bones by the neck and Bones was having a very hard time getting it off. Kirk rolled his eyes and shot the tribble, which immediately let go and dropped to the floor, but to his dismay, it slowly turned around so that, he supposed, it was facing him. It leapt and before he could react, was latched onto his leg.
He heard a sickening crunch and Spock cried out in pain. He looked up and to his relief, it was Spock's arm that was broken and not his head. Spock swung his other arm at Khan who easily caught it, he was about to punch Spock in the face when Bones shot him. He quickly turned and looked at Bones who shot him again, this time on kill. That, considerably slowed him down.
Bones whirled around and faced the Tribble that was still attached to Kirk's leg and shot it too. It dropped and ceased moving. Jim noticed a slightly sad expression cross Khan's face and heard Bones say, "Told ya I'd kill you. Damn Tribble."
By this time Spock had somewhat recovered and picked up his phaser and all three of them pointed their's at Khan, who sneered and said, "Do you really think those can stop me?"
Kirk tilted his head and stated, "It's worth a try."
They all fired at the same time and Khan dropped. Unfortunately, the Tribble had not as Bones thought, died. It leapt up and latched itself onto Bones' bottom. He howled in agony an started yelling, "GET IT OFF! GET IT OFF! GET THE DAMN TRIBBLE OFF!"
Kirk shook his head in amazement and shot it twice. Bones looked closely at it and said, "I think it's dead now."
It twitched and he yelped and leapt back.
Later
They had dragged Khan back to his cell and unceremoniously dumped him in it. He groaned and sat up.
Kirk crossed his arms and said one word, "Explain."
Khan smirked, "When animals are injected with my blood, they become superior. They obey me like a dog would it's master. Don't worry, Captain, my blood will not have this effect on you. It only works on base life forms. Baser than humans anyway. Where is it?"
Kirk looked confused (he's good at that, it comes naturally) "Where is what?"
Khan rolled his eyes, "My Tribble, Captain."
Kirk looked surprised (good at that too) and said, "Ummm, right here."
One of the security guards produced what looked like a kitty carrier. Khan eyed it and judging from the growling emanating from it, the Tribble was still alive.
Bones piped up, "Why are you so worried about that damn tribble?"
"I am not worried about it. And that damn Tribble as you so kindly put it has a name." Khan sniffed.
Bones raised an eyebrow, only to slam it back down (stupid Vulcan hobgoblin), "Oh? and what would that be?"
Khan did what he did best, look superior, and said majestically, "His name is... Kerfuffle."
Finis
A/N 2- Sooo… How was it? Did you like it? *looks around nervously*Can you imagine Khan saying Kerfuffle! It would be so hilarious. I hope I made at least some of you laugh. That was my intention. Please, Please review and tell me what you think!