"Kano. What does the sky look to you?"
Dejavu..
He stared at the sky as well, a grim smile on his face.
"Dark.."
"I see.." she said softly before moving on.
"Aaahhh.. I really screwed up this time~" said Kano restlessly as he flopped himself on the sofa, hands under his head and eyes fixed to the ceiling as if he was deep in thought.
"It looks like it.." the soft, soothing voice came from the boy sitting just a few inches from his head; a white hood covering his body and a black puppy sitting on his lap. The boy caressed the puppy lovingly and the dog let out a tiny wail of satisfaction. The boy grinned in return and regarded Kano the same.
Kano grinned back and rolled on his stomach to stroke the puppy as the boy did. It growled.
Seto laughed. "It seems like he doesn't like you," he carried the puppy at eye level, "you don't like Kano eh? Don't worry, he won't hurt you.. Kano's a nice person. He isn't mean at all."
"Yaaahh.. I'm such a horrible person," Kano sighed, returning to his original position. He glanced at the dog. "Even the dog doesn't like me."
"Aren't you a bit too hard on yourself today?" Seto chuckled as he cuddled the puppy.
Kano chuckled as well. "Maybe.." He closed his eyes.
Ahhh.. Lying around here was so nice. The day was warm and sunny, and almost perfect weren't for the small argument between him and Kido. She had stormed out of the room while crying; slamming the door shut that made the whole house tremble. She never cried like that and he kinda felt guilty about it (though it was kinda funny to see Kido bawling like a baby).
He sighed again. I'm hopeless..
"You should apologize," the voice over his head said. With that dog on his head and that wide grin plastered on his face, he didn't looked serious at all.
"I know, I know," he replied waving his hand away as if he already knew enough. He did plan to apologize but finding Kido would be a pain... But then..
"I wouldn't miss Kido's reaction for the world once I actually say sorry," he giggled before standing up.
"Hyaah," he stretched out his arms, prepared to move. He turned to Seto. "Aren't you taking this too lightly? You used to cry whenever Kido and I have these fights."
Seto seemed to think deeply about this.
"Maybe.. Maybe I've just grown up..?"
Kano laughed loudly. Seto frowned. The puppy frowned as well.
"Did I say something funny?" Seto asked, looking very confused. The mere fact it came from Seto was hilarious. He looked more ridiculous with the puppy on his head.
Kano tried to catch his breath as he headed to the door. "I'll find Kido. You stay here with the puppy." He was still chuckling. Seto and the dog watched him, still confused.
"Ah, Seto," he said as he opened the door. "It's nice to see you take these kind of things calmly…" he turned his face to the surprised boy and grinned, "Sort of calms me down as well.." He added before leaving the room.
After closing the door behind him, Kano raised his fist like a hero ready for a mission. "Okay! Time to find Kido~" he exclaimed.
Finding Kido will probably take a while, he thought. The house was quite huge, even for a family of six. It was an old, wooden house, almost bare of color and design if it weren't for the drawings and crafts posted at one of the hallways, which they had turned into a mini art exhibit.
Kano was currently walking along this hallway, which was full of paper- Seto's animal sketches, Kido's stick figures of the family, neechan's paper cranes, every single artwork they did is posted here. Since this hallway has a line of windows, the colors of their art and crafts dazzled brightly whenever the sun shines. Like today. He tends to giggle uncontrollably whenever he happens to pass this place. "Well, can't stay here forever eh.." he told himself after giggling.
He continued to the next hallway, opening rooms and carefully checking the closets and beds. It was an easy search since most of the rooms didn't even have furniture.
Unfortunately, Kido is an expert in concealing herself. She always won in hide and seek.
Aaahh... Saying sorry is such a pain. I'm hungry already...
He finally came upon the last room at the top most floor.
"Huh.. Neechan's room.." he muttered. Then, he scratched his head and grinned sheepishly. Would have saved him a lot of time if he checked this room first.
It wouldn't be unusual for Kido to hide in here. It's their hideout. It was the best of all rooms. As it was located at the highest floor, you could clearly see the sky above and the greenery below. The four of them, Kido, Seto, neechan and him, would always watch the clouds or star-gaze through the window which they tend to fight for since it didn't have enough space for all four of them.
Kano opened the door and found neechan facing the window with a serious expression. She must be deep in thought because it took her awhile to notice him.
"Kano!" she exclaimed in surprise then smiled, relieving himself from his increasing worry. He thought she looked troubled but maybe it was just his imagination. Neechan was never troubled.
Kano ran beside her. "Neechan, have you seen Kido?"
"Kido? No," she replied.
"Hm.. Where could she be?"
"Ehhhhh.. Are you guys playing hide and seek without me again?" she pouted.
"Kinda. We had a fight and she walked out crying. I'd like to say sorry to her but I couldn't find her anywhere." he scratched his head bashfully.
"You guys.. Always fighting.." she placed her hands in her hips and hit Kano's head lightly. She didn't sound angry at all.
He chuckled. "Can't help it."
"Ne, Kano.."
"Hm?" Kano stopped chuckling and looked at neechan. Her face was so serious that he had to turn his eyes away. He suddenly felt her eyes keenly observing his face. It made him uncomfortable.
"What does the sky look to you?"
"The sky..?" Kano looked at the sky from the window. There was no cloud in sight. Only blue.
"Well, it's blue right now.." he replied.
"It's white in some days, right?"
"Uh huh. And dark."
"Yes. Whenever rain is approaching."
Kano observed neechan. He knew she was trying to tell him something.
"Kano. Have you ever wondered how small the world is through this window?"
"Not really.."
"This window is too small to show us the whole universe. It only shows us a small part of our world. It doesn't see everything.."
"What are you trying to say...?"
"We can't see everything..
"Look at it this way. In this view, you can see that the sky is blue. But once you step outside, you realize that there's a storm coming that you would have never imagined…"
She said this in grave seriousness that Kano had never seen before.
"So, it's rationally correct to say that the sky is blue through this window. But we can't say that the 'sky is completely and undoubtedly blue' just because this window shows so...
"Nee..chan.."
"Knowing that the window offers a limited view of the scene as a whole...
"Knowing these things.. Will you choose to stay here..
"Or will you step outside and see more?"
Kano thought it strange that he heard lightning when it was sunny outside. Then, he heard pouring rain, as if it had been falling all this time and he just didn't noticed it. The sky was gray and it was suddenly cold. The room was gradually dimming and it scared him. The dark always scared him. He sees too many things in the dark...
And… Neechan was gone.
He looked around to find her and realized that the room had drastically changed in a short period of time. It was empty except for a bed. Melted candles and wilted flowers scattered around the floor. He noticed a figure under the sheets of the bed.
Weakly, he walked towards it, pulled it, and found Seto curled up. His face was fresh from tears. "Seto... What are you..." he muttered.
Wasn't he downstairs earlier..? With the puppy and that soothing smile on his face? Didn't he told him earlier that he was already growing up? So, why was he crying again..?
"Seto.. Why the long face?" he asked. Seto merely looked away as if he should have known better.
Kano staggered backwards. His body went cold yet he was perspiring hard. What what what..?
Why was Seto crying?
Where did Neechan go?
Where is everybody?
He held his head, trying to understand what was happening. He could feel the hot tears falling from his eyes for no reason. Everything seems so scary again..
He could hear Seto calling his name.
"Don't tell me..." he muttered as he smiled through the tears.
Why did Kido cried in the first place?
From above, he could see Kido's face watching him.
"Eh.. Watching me asleep huh.. Has the prince arrived for his beloved princess' kiss?"
Before he knew it, his stomach was already gritting in pain.
"It's time for lunch.." said Kido, taking her leave.
"Ne, Kido.."
Kido stopped and looked back at him.
He scratched his head sheepishly. "I just remembered that I made you cry before though I couldn't exactly remember how... Sorry about that.." then he laughed.
"I see that you're serious.."
"Well, it was such a long time ago and I suddenly had the urge to say sorry to you. And I remembered it because of a weird dream! Isn't it funny?"
He saw it.
A flash of pain in Kido's eyes. Since Kido covered most of her body, her eyes has been her most striking part. Her eyes speak for herself.
It seems like he did made her cry before.
"Did I unearth painful memories? Sorry about that. Ahehehe," he apologized.
"Kano. You never saw me cry.." she said, keeping her eyes steady onto his.
"Ahh. So I guess it was just a dream.." he said as he took sight of the sky. Compared to that window, the sky here wasn't just blue. He could see the clouds further away and the sun was shining brightly at the corner of his eye.
He grinned.
No matter how hard he tries, it would be impossible to see everything. Even when he stepped outside of that house; even when he chose to leave that window, he can only see a part of the world.
A part of the truth.
In this world, there's no such thing as a genuine truth. It's a paradox itself. No such thing as certainty exists. There are only things that seem like a truth.
The truth is a very suspicious thing.
What people usually do is rely on their eyes to distinguish truth and lies. The eye is the witness. It opens your mind and dictates your feelings. It gives you evidence that the mind will process as fact or lie, and gives you the most probable answer in return.
What he sees is what he sees. If there's something beyond that, then what else can he do? He can't deny what he sees in his own eyes.
Funny for a person like him to think about the 'truth.'
"Kano.."
He realized that Kido had sat next to him.
"Is this a date, Kido?"
A punch on his face..
"I didn't cried that day... You did.." she said.
"I know.."
"You don't.."
He merely looked at the ground and smiled bitterly. He had noticed this long ago... Though Kido wasn't the type who would comfort someone with sweet talk, embraces, or a calming smile, she manages to pull off these consoling gestures to Seto, and later on, Mary. But never to him. How violent… There were times he wished she would just smile at him. A smile always calms him down. Like what that funny girl used to do.
He had speculated that she hated him. Despised him. But then, he was never too sure. Or maybe, he didn't want to believe it...
Didn't Seto once told him that he hated him? It won't be surprising if Kido hated him too. He is a despicable, disgusting person...
He laughed inwardly. He was lucky enough to have these guys stick around him though he was completely and perpetually broken. They aren't obligated to like him. He has no right to be loved.
Shuuya Kano doesn't deserve to be loved.
"KANO!" he felt a hard smack on his forehead. Kido was frowning at him.
"My bad, my bad. I was dozing off.." he apologized, gently stroking his forehead. He could feel a huge bump gradually forming and it hurt a lot. Somehow, Kido's punches always woke him up from his madness. You wouldn't have thought they came from a thin woman like her.
He stood up and stretched his arms. He rubbed his tummy, which grumbled loudly. "I'm hungry Kido. Can we eat first? Then we can continue our lovely date~" he said, winking. It immediately brought him facedown on the ground.
Kido stood up. "We're not over yet," she said, leaving him behind. She was probably starving too, he thought. They both walked towards the door leading downstairs- him limping.
"One last thing," she stopped.
She looked at above.
The sky.
"Kano. What does the sky look to you?"
Dejavu..
He stared at the sky as well, a grim smile on his face.
"Dark.."
"I see.." she said softly before moving on.
Author's notes:
Yah! I guess that's part one for now though I doubt this will be followed. Kano is an interesting character to write about because of his unstable mind, which is pretty tragic for me. Most of my inspiration came from Yobanashi Deceive and from this beautiful ask-blog( ) that really captures Kano's (and Kido's too!) character very well. I kinda suck in metaphors so I highly favor your opinions so I can improve the story!
Next Color: II. Black
Why do these things happen?
He would ask himself the same question before. It was because everything always seemed so sad for no reason. But then, one always questions pain, right?
So, when he experienced happiness for the first time, with Ayano-oneechan and the other, he stopped asking those questions. One doesn't question happiness...
...Now that these moments are over, he again asked the same question again. Actually, he had a new question..
Why does it have to rain when it could be sunny instead?