"Irma, it's alright. I just…don't feel well today. You have to stop calling me, you're gonna get caught," April voice crackled through the phone's mouth piece, a shattering cough following soon after to enunciate her point. Her eyes dropped down to her hand that sat motionless and dead at her knee, pages of books spread across her bed.

She heard the purple-haired demon on the other end sigh. "April, it's just…you haven't been in school since Casey…disappeared. Were you really that close to him?"

April felt her breath catch in her throat, the memories suddenly sending her skull crashing and burning in a haze of mutagen and hockey sticks. Tears burned at her eyes, threatening to bubble over her eyelashes. The teenager sighed, the sound hoarse and crackly from the effort it took to withhold her tears.

"…Yes."

With those words, her thumb found the 'end call' button and the dial tone could be heard, the dead sound ringing across her skull. Looking up from under her fringe, the girl stared at her reflection in her mirror, the corners cracked from throwing shoes and a lamp at it in rage.

She sat in a pair of leggings and a black vest, the leggings torn and ripped from years of ownership. The top sat haphazardly over her body, hanging off her shoulders almost. She'd lost weight, hadn't eaten in weeks. Her hair sat up in different directions, red locks tossed about her head like she hadn't slept in weeks. She hadn't. Her hair hung limply around her her face, with her eyes ringed red from tears.

Red.
Red.
Red.

His voice repeated the nickname in her mind over and over again, the sound of his laughter bounding off the walls of her breathing quickened as she fought off the memories, batting them away like they were nothing. But they weren't nothing. They were all she had left of Casey.
Pulling her arms around her shaking body, she finally felt the tears slip. She hadn't meant to get attached, hadn't meant to get him mixed up in the mess that was her life. She'd tried to keep him safe, protect him. But she'd failed, just like always.

Sobs ricocheted on her lungs, in her room. Her hands gripped tighter onto her knees as she felt the sobs rip her apart, shred her heart. It was all her fault , she should've been quicker. Should've jumped after him.

Every time her eyes closed shut, his would re-appear behind them. Brown orbs staring into her own, challenging her, daring her. They were quick, they were restless and tormented after what had happened in his life. But they were Casey, and the shine was gone.

She remembered the week after the event, after she'd visited the turtles. The lair was quiet, much to quiet for a group of teenaged boys. She'd made an effort after, but to her, an effort after what happened was an over sized top and jogging pants. The only sound was the TV and Leonardo's sleeping.

The door to the lab was open and she could hear Mikey cooking, though he wasn't singing. Or humming. Like usual.

Pushing her way through the musky scent of the lair, she found the dojo door pushed ajar, the sounds of flesh against a punching bag. Angry grunts could be heard, muffled with sharp intakes of breath. She knew exactly who it was that would be throwing fists against something while trying to combat against a broken mind and lost friend.

Her feet soon found the edge of the door, pushing it across with her toes and stepping over the threshold. The scent of sweat and Japanese incense attacked her nostrils, and she fought the urge to sneeze. The outline of a body throwing punch after punch to the swinging bag could be seen between the leaves of the tree and the weapons that lined the walls.

She watched for a few moments, as angry grunts escaped him. He was fierce, he was strong in his movements - rage flowed out of him from every angle, every corner. But most of all, April knew he was scared.
"Raph."

One final punch was delivered to the sack before he turned, heaving up aggravated breaths, fists held high. Sweat covered his body, bu tears decorated his neon irises. Spotting the disheveled girl, his hands dropped and his expression softened, breaking the calm that was his world when he saw her.

Gently, April approached him, her hands clasped together. Her head remained down, watching as she herself dragged her feet. Her hands shook. When she reached Raph, she looked up at the red-masked turtle, a frown etched onto his face with a sad expression. He seemed to try to form words, but those words died on his lips. To Raph, he'd known Casey a few weeks, a month. April had known him since they started school, but had only recently gotten attached.

"I miss him too," she muttered, before her words turned to sobs and she felt his arms wind around her waist to pull her towards him. Her hands sat on his shoulders as she melted into him, her tears dripping down her face. Even though she couldn't see it, she swore she felt tear drops from Raph on her own shirt. They sunk down to the floor, Raph rocking her as they thought back to what they could've done to prevent Casey from 'disappearing.'

The memory haunted April, she hadn't been back to the lair since. She couldn't face them, couldn't face Raph. Her hands wound tighter around her knees, her sobs deepened as the voice that was Casey Jones crawled back to her, leaving her to scream for a boy who wasn't there.

"So April, vigilante-ing is cool and all but how about a real date?"
"What do you call this?"
"I was thinking, you know, maybe something a little cosier. You and me."