A/N Originally posted on AO3
There is only one major difference between consulting detectives and consulting criminals. Well, two, Seb supposes. Firstly, criminal and detective are generally not friendly words. Secondly, being a criminal is so much more fun.
OK, three. The third thing is that they get the job done quicker.
Ok, the fourth thing is... wait, when did he start talking in Monty Python references.
Ok, the fourth thing is that detectives pay attention. And don't get shot.
Yeah, he's really not a detective