UTOPIA
Is that what happens though, seriously? You just get bored of us one day and disappear.
Not if you're blonde.
Oh, she was blonde! What a surprise!
The Doctor turned, knowing that the oncoming storm was blazing in his eyes. He had known for some time that Martha fancied him. It was only natural for her to grow bitter when he didn't return her feelings. But Jack...
"You didn't know her Martha," he spoke, his voice low. "I don't know why you feel the need to take the mickey out of a complete stranger, but you didn't know her, so I know that you don't mean for what you say to be personal.But you, Jack, you should know better." To the Doctor's surprise, the Captain looked to the ground in shame. "You knew Rose. You knew what she was like. How can you encourage Martha's comments?"
"C'mon, Doc," Jack said quietly. "I know you miss her, but that's not fair."
The Doctor's eyes widened and something inside of him broke. All of the grief and the pain and the anger poured forth. Ever since he lost Rose, ever since Bad Wolf Bay, he hadn't been able to properly assess his emotions. There had been Donna and then Martha. For centuries he had dealt with his feelings a certain way, but Rose had turned everything inside out. Now he was about to find out what happened when raw emotions mixed together and exploded.
His feet took control and he approached Jack, getting dangerously close and putting the man on his guard.
"Don't you dare talk to me about fair," the Time Lord spat. "Yes, Jack. I left you on the Gamestation, but Rose was dying and I had to save her and the only way to do that was to die myself. In order to stably regenerate, I had to be in the TARDIS. I knew you had your teleport. I thought you might get back to Rose's time. How could I know that it wouldn't work? I'm sorry, okay? I'm sorry I left you. I'm sorry you've had to wait centuries for me, but at least you knew that there'd be a possibility of seeing me again.
"I would park the TARDIS and sit at the Powell Estate for eons if it meant that I might see her again. As long as there was a possibility, even the slightest chance, I would wait forever!"
He didn't remember raising his voice. He also didn't realize that tears had started to form. The Doctor took a deep breath and backed away a bit.
"But there's not a possibility. There's no hope because she's gone. She's trapped in a parallel universe, and I can't get to her. I will never see her again." A tear fell, and he choked on his words a bit. "I- She's not here Jack. I can't ask her where she wants to go next. No matter where we landed, she would always walk out those doors with a smile. As long as it was new, she was happy. I'll never see that smile again. I'll never hear her laugh or hold her hand. I can't even talk to her."
He seemed to get a hold of himself for just a moment. He sniffed loudly and scrubbed his face with his hands. Jack clutched to the small amount of confidence he had and spoke.
"I miss her too, Doc."
The Doctor met Jack's gaze, his anger gone. Only despair remained.
"I loved her Jack."
He missed the look of shock that crossed Martha's face, but he saw a similar emotion flash in Jack's eyes.
"I do love her," he continued, "and I can't tell her."
In a sudden change, he turned to Martha. "I'm sorry," he said. "I should have told you. I was too much of a coward."
Martha cleared her throat and said, "So...you and Rose, were you-?"
"Yes," he said with finality. "We were."
After a few moments of silence, he ran a hand through his hair and continued walking forward.